HOW TO PLEASE A PREACHER

If you wants to see dat Preachah laugh, Jes change up a dollar, an' give 'im a half.

If you wants to make dat Preachah sing, Kill dat tucky an' give him a wing.

If you wants to see dat Preachah cry, Kill dat chicken an' give him a thigh.

LOOKING FOR A FIGHT

I went down town de yudder night, A-raisin' san' an' a-wantin' a fight.

Had a forty dollar razzer, an' a gatlin' gun, Fer to shoot dem n.i.g.g.e.rs down one by one.

I'LL WEAR ME A COTTON DRESS

Oh, will you wear red? Oh, will you wear red?

Oh, will you wear red, Milly Biggers?

"I won't wear red, It's too much lak Missus' head.

I'll wear me a cotton dress, Dyed wid copperse an' oak-bark."

Oh, will you wear blue? Oh, will you wear blue?

Oh, will you wear blue, Milly Biggers?

"I won't wear blue, It's too much lak Missus' shoe.

I'll wear me a cotton dress, Dyed wid copperse an' oak-bark."

You sholy would wear gray? You sholy would wear gray?

You sholy would wear gray, Milly Biggers?

"I won't wear gray, It's too much lak Missus' way.

I'll wear me a cotton dress, Dyed wid copperse an' oak-bark."

Well, will you wear white? Well, will you wear white?

Well, will you wear white, Milly Biggers?

"I won't wear white, I'd get dirty long 'fore night.

I'll wear me a cotton dress, Dyed wid copperse an' oak-bark."

Now, will you wear black? Now, will you wear black?

Now, will you wear black, Milly Biggers?

"I mought wear black, Case it's de color o' my back; An' it looks lak my cotton dress, Dyed wid [33]copperse an' oak-bark."

[33] Copperse is copperas, or sulphate of iron.

HALF WAY DOINGS

My dear Brudders an' Sisters, As I comes here to-day, I hain't gwineter take no scripture verse Fer what I'se gwineter say.

My words I'se gwineter cut off short An' I 'spects to use dis tex': "Dis half way doin's hain't no 'count Fer dis worl' nor de nex'."

Dis half way doin's, Brudderin, Won't never do, I say.

Go to yo' wuk, an' git it done, An' den's de time to play.

Fer w'en a n.i.g.g.e.r gits lazy, An' stops to take short naps, De weeds an' gra.s.s is sh.o.r.e to grow An' smudder out his c.r.a.ps.

Dis worl' dat we's a livin' in Is sumpen lak a cotton row: Whar each an' ev'ry one o' us Is got his row to hoe.

An' w'en de cotton's all laid by, De rain, it spile de bowls, If you don't keep busy pickin'

In de cotton fiel' of yo' souls.

Keep on a-plowin', an' a-hoein'; Keep on sc.r.a.pin' off de rows; An' w'en de year is over You can pay off all you owes.

But w'en you sees a lazy n.i.g.g.e.r Stop workin', sh.o.r.e's you're born, You'se gwineter see him comin' out At de liddle end of de horn.

TWO TIMES ONE

Two times one is two.

Won't you jes keep still till I gits through?

Three times three is nine.

You 'tend to yo' business, an' I'll 'tend to mine.

HE PAID ME SEVEN (PARODY)

"Our Fadder, Which are in Heaben!"-- White man owe me leben and pay me seben.

"D'y Kingdom come! D'y Will be done!"-- An' if I hadn't tuck dat, I wouldn' git none.

PARODY ON "REIGN, MASTER JESUS, REIGN!"

Oh rain! Oh rain! Oh rain, "good" Mosser!

Rain, Mosser, rain! Rain hard!

Rain flour an' lard an' a big hog head Down in my back yard.

An' w'en you comes down to my cabin, Come down by de corn fiel'.

If you cain't bring me a piece o' meat, Den bring me a peck o' meal.

Oh rain! Oh rain! Oh rain, "good" Mosser!

Dat good rain gives mo' rest.

"What d'you say? You n.i.g.g.e.r, dar!"-- "Wet ground grows gra.s.s best."

A REQUEST TO SELL

Gwineter ax my daddy to sell ole Rose, So's I can git me some new clo's.

Gwineter ax my daddy to sell ole Nat, So's I can git a bran' new hat.

Gwineter ax my daddy to sell ole Bruise, Den I can git some Brogran shoes.

Now, I'se gwineter fix myse'f "jes so,"

An' take myse'f down to Big Shiloh.

I'se gwine right down to Big Shiloh To take dat t'other n.i.g.g.e.r's beau.