Author:

Translator: NinjaGal

Co-translator: Vannie

WARNING: Chapter is still an unedited, and English is not our first language so grammatical errors and some mistranslations might appear.

I’m really confused with what’s happening with Sehun. I don’t understand his actions anymore. First, he told me to stay away from Leon without telling me the reason why. Second, he’s always accompanying me in activities that he usually doesn’t do. Third, every time he sees me with Leon, he pulls me away. He just suddenly grabs me away. And not only that, I didn’t even know that Sehun’s a bit perverted.

Yes, you read it right. Sehun is a pervert. He gropes me.

Here’s my explanation based on what he is doing to me.

“Blake, there’s dust on your back. Let me pat them away ah.” He says and goes behind me. He did pat them away, but I didn’t expect what he does next. He squeezed my b.u.t.t and quickly runs away.

Here’s more.

“Why is it so warm?” He says while we were both doing our a.s.signments.

Before I tell him that “it’s not hot ah”, he just suddenly takes off his top, causing me to turn around to avoid looking at it.

What’s he talking about? It’s evening and the fan is working. He’s still warm?

“Blake. Do you have a six-pack[1]?” He suddenly asks while he’s behind me. I answered “none.” “Yes, you do. I saw it the other day.” I shake my head and decided to concentrate on answering my homework.

I didn’t bother taking a look at him in case I can’t control myself. Thinking about his six-pack, I couldn’t write properly. I’m being distracted. Uwaaaa! I can’t answer my a.s.signments. I keep thinking of Sehun’s ripped abs and it’s running in my head the whole time. Can I just answer “6-pack abs” instead? Ahihihi.

“I know you have one. Liar. Let me see” He insists on it as I refute him even though I know that I do have them.

I do have a ripped body too but just not like Sehun whose body is ripped like a G.o.d. Mine is just average. I just got it due to the fact that I was helping out the family by carrying some stuff around.

“Let me touch it” I was surprised as he suddenly grabbed the hem of my s.h.i.+rt and raised it as he took off my top. He then forcefully groped my abs.

“You’re a liar Blake. See? You got a nice one. Wow, I love touching it. It’s irresistibly cute.”

“Let go of me Sehun. What are you doing?” I complained, trying to get away.

I managed to free myself but I feel on the ground. But before I managed to right myself up, he pinned me down as he continued his a.s.sault.

I felt ticklish due to his motions. I couldn’t get away because of his weight and strength. I couldn’t do anything but allow him to do what he wants with me as he started tickling me. Sometimes, I think he’s the gay one between the two of us.

The worst part of him being perverted is that he suddenly touches my thing then runs away.

There are also times when he kisses me on the cheek and hugging suddenly. I couldn’t complain or move whenever he does that because it affects me so much to the point that I want to faint or just fall down.

I don’t understand why my heart is beating so fast every time he comes near me or holds me. And even though what he’s doing is reprehensible, I don’t understand myself why I like to so much when he does these things to me.

I think I do like Sehun and this is the first time I liked a guy. It’s confirmed that I’m gay.

I’m gay.

I should accept that I am gay.

What’s the essence of hiding, right?  Well, I didn’t really hide that I was confused before until I accidentally confessed to Sehun, that I realized that I really was gay.

I’m gay and I already accepted it.

I didn’t expect that Blake’s thing is big. Imagine that? He’s so gay but his d.i.c.k is so big. Hahaha. So funny.

“Blake!” I called him.

“Oh, why?” He asked me, annoyed. One of his eyebrows was raised.

I have been bugging him, calling his name for a while now repeatedly and I find it amusing because of his annoyed face. He’s cute when he’s annoyed.

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

He stomped cutely and huffily transferred his attention to his book. He’s studying right now because he’s got an oral recitation[2] tomorrow.

We were both lying in our beds. Him, studying as I stare at him. It’s not like I have anything to do, nor do I have any homework. And it’s too early to sleep!

Oh my G.o.d! I can’t even talk to this one who is concentrating on his studies. He’s too hardworking.

Because I’m so bored but couldn’t sleep, I’m bothering Blake instead. It’s not like I wanted to anger him but it looks like he’s getting p.i.s.sed off.

I approached him and put my head on his stomach. He was surprised by my actions. “Let me lie down,” I say as I stared at him.

His face is super red. Hahaha.

This one is so cute. I know that I have a big impact on Blake and I’m not lame not to notice. I know he likes me.  He won’t be worried because I like him too.

Yes, I admit it. I like him too. But I don’t want to confess because I feel so clumsy around him.

Yeah, you read it right. I’m clumsy towards him and I don’t have the courage to tell Blake the truth. I’m so courageous in teasing him and groping him, but to confess my feelings. nah! that was my biggest weakness

I always think that if I confess my feelings, he will still reject me even though I know he likes me too. But there’s a part of me that is scared. I don’t want to experience again what I have experienced before. I don’t want to feel rejected again.

I have to make sure that Blake confesses to me first and make sure that he really loves me. He will love me. Carve it on the frozen heart.[3]

“I don’t know Blake but I’m so happy right now. You want to know why?”

“W-why?” He stutters while staring at me. His face is so red as I looked at him in the eye.

“It’s nothing. I’m starting to get to know the person that I’m going to love.” I told him meaningfully.

As soon as I said it, his eyes were filled with sadness and all of a sudden, he rose out of bed without warning. What happened was that I b.u.mped my head on the bed. I didn’t hurt because it was soft though.

What’s his problem? Why is he so angry? Did I say anything wrong?

Why is it like this? What is he trying to imply when he said that he’s getting to know the person that he will love? I feel like my heart was. .h.i.t painfully by arrows multiple times. It hurts. It hurts so bad.

But who is he referring to?

I know it’s not me because it’s impossible. I know Sehun, he’s had a lot of girlfriends that he doesn’t tell me. And I noticed that there’s a lot of people chasing after him and he likes them back too.

What’s happening to me? Why am I still hoping? I know that Sehun is not going to like me back because I’m just so gay. Even though he’s accepted me and treats me like a roommate. I know there’s no chance that he would like me back. Even though all the things he’s doing that makes me hope, even though I don’t want to think because I know he’s just pranking and making fun of me. I’m used to his actions. But I can’t remove my feelings of hop. I really fell for him and I think I’ve developed feelings for him.

Argh! What is this! Why am I hoping he’ll like me back? You’re gay Blake. You have no hope of Sehun liking you back. You’re just a gay Blake.

You’re just a h.o.m.o.[4]

TN:

[1] abs – generally means 6-pack abs

[2] oral recitation – verbal exam wherein you dictate the answers to the teacher questions you

[3] Itaga n’yo yan sa pusong bato – originally carve it on a stone pertains to taking an oath and combined it with his frozen heart which he mentions as heartbroken

[4] Internalized h.o.m.ophobia – here, gays are looked down upon by society and MC is dwelling on how he’s been oppressed as a gay guy and belittles himself