These reflections made me angry. I left the house, cursing those people who see everything in the same light and refuse to depart from the narrow circle that custom has marked out. I paced the streets angrily, I dined angrily, I drank my coffee angrily, and my frame of mind had not changed when, finding myself at the foot of the Champs-elysees, I sat down in a chair, the back of which was against a large tree.

VIII

THE MAGIC LANTERN

I had been sitting against the tree for some time; the darkness had dispersed some of the saunterers; and those who remained plunged deeper into the cross paths, seeking, as it seemed, by preference the darkest and least-frequented spots. Doubtless they had their reasons for that. I do not know precisely what I was thinking about, when I heard heavy steps approach and stop behind me. I turned and saw a man carrying what we call a magic lantern. He set his apparatus down against the tree; he had not seen me, or did not notice me. He lighted his lantern to exhibit his pictures, whereupon I at once thought of Florian's monkey; the reminiscence made me laugh, and I prepared to listen to the owner of the lantern, although I feared that the comparison would be unfavorable to him.

I heard him mutter between his teeth as he arranged his lights:

"Ah! the hussy! the rascal! where has she been these three hours, since she left me on the pretext of going to feed the brat? She's playing some game on me. If it wasn't a show day, how quickly I'd drop the whole business!--Never mind, Madame Trousquin, I'll find a way to solve my doubts; and if I see anything crooked, there'll be a sharp and effective reckoning!"

The poor man was evidently jealous; he swore and stamped and glared from side to side, but Madame Trousquin did not appear. By way of compensation, the gleam of the magic lantern attracted a girl and a young soldier, the latter of whom took his seat close beside the former, bidding the showman to close the curtain around them. He enveloped them in an old blue or gray sheet,--it was impossible to distinguish the color,--and I could not help thinking that a magic lantern may be at times a very great convenience.

Pere Trousquin began his performance, interrupting himself frequently to swear at his wife, who did not return; and I listened attentively, although I could see nothing, not being under the curtain; but I had an idea that the spectators for whom the pictures were being explained were not looking at them.

"First of all, messieurs and mesdames, you see the sun, the moon, the stars, and the little fishes. Farther on, the products of the soil, such as trees, vegetables, animals, caves, waterfalls, rattlesnakes. Pray examine Monsieur Sun, whom you can't look at because he's so bright; and Madame Moon, who is full because she's in her first quarter. See those stars, how fast they travel, as if the devil was carrying 'em off!--Three hours to put Fifi to bed! Ah! the s.l.u.t! how I'll make her dance to-night!--See Venus, glistening like a pinchbeck pin! See the shepherd's star! The shepherd Tircis, I suppose, seeing what his reputation is. And there's the Three Kings, who are always together. And the Chariot, that travels like those you see in the mountains of Russia.

And Mercury and Jupiter. And the Virgin and the Twins. And the Bull and the Goat. Anybody can understand about them. Do you see the Scales? Do you see the Scorpion?--a wicked beast he is! All these, messieurs and mesdames, are planets that determine the nervous _infections_ of the people born under their _affluence_. The planet Venus is for wanton women, the Shepherd for good-looking youths, the Three Kings for heroes, the Chariot for coachmen, Jupiter for roistering blades, Mercury for apothecaries, the Virgin for little girls, and the Goat for many worthy gentlemen whom you know. Observe, messieurs and mesdames, in the middle of that great black cloud, full of stars, between the Bear and the Ram, you'll see a big, hairy comet, with a tail longer than a fox's. That brilliant meteor has in all ages announced the end of the world; with its tail or its head it is capable of overturning our globe, which is held in place only by a thread, and broiling us all like chestnuts."

At this point, a movement under the curtain led me to surmise that the comet had aroused great curiosity.

"One moment, messieurs and mesdames, and you'll see what you will see."

Pere Trousquin pulled a cord to change the picture, and, after several very emphatic oaths, resumed his explanation, not changing his voice a quarter of a tone.

"This, messieurs and mesdames, shows you the interior of the palace of the great Kin-Kin-Li-King, Emperor of China and King of all the Pekins.

You perceive him seated in his beautiful gilt armchair of state, in full ceremonial costume, surrounded by learned mandarins and national guardsmen. He is giving a public audience and receiving pet.i.tions from all the Chinese of the suburbs. Observe, in a corner, that father leaning on his daughter and a bamboo stick; he has come to demand justice upon a seducer who has made that poor innocent creature the mother of five little children, and who feeds them on blows alone. See, messieurs, how the ill-fated father's features gleam with wrath and indignation; read the sorrow, pain, and repentance in the girl's eyes.

That man just to the left, wrapped in a brown cloak, with only his nose visible, is the seducer, awaiting his condemnation. See how pale and cadaverous his face is, how hollow his eyes, and how tremulous his gait; well he knows that he will not be let off cheap. Farther on, in the background----"

A stout female appeared at this juncture, panting for breath, and interrupted the explanation of the picture. I presumed that it was Madame Trousquin, and the dialogue that ensued between her and the owner of the lantern proved to me that my conjecture was well founded.

MONSIEUR TROUSQUIN.

Ah! here you are at last, you cursed street walker!--Farther away, in the background--(_To his wife._) You'll pay me for this, that's all I've got to say to you!--Farther away, in the background, that wretched creature whom the guards are taking away, and who is struggling and writhing as if he had the colic, is a deserter, who has just deserted and was going to the enemy's camp on treason bent; his business will soon be settled; he'll be shot and then hung.

MADAME TROUSQUIN. (_during her husband's explanation_).

Hoity-toity! what are you making so much noise about? Didn't I have to put Fifi to bed and make the soup? And I'd like to know if it ain't a good, long walk from the Champs-elysees to Rue Jean-Pain-Mollet!

MONSIEUR TROUSQUIN.

You lie, I tell you; you went off at five o'clock, and here it is nine.

Where in the devil have you been? Pull the cord.

Madame Trousquin placed on a stool a bowl which she had under her ap.r.o.n, then a.s.sumed her post on that side of the lantern from which the change of pictures was operated.

MONSIEUR TROUSQUIN.

This, messieurs and mesdames, represents a view of Athens, in Greece.--(_To his wife._) Put my soup on the charcoal and tell me where you've been.

MADAME TROUSQUIN.

Why, I've been at home, I tell you, you jealous fool! I met Angelique and talked with her a minute. Have you much of an audience?

MONSIEUR TROUSQUIN.

Observe the beauty of the sky and water. Observe the palaces, the columns and temples, built by the Romans; note those magnificent statues, of which but few fragments remain. See that circus, in which they used to hold bull fights, to train the young men to be strong.--(_To his wife._) I'm satisfied that you've been gallivanting with Grugeon.--See, in the distance, the famous Partiates fighting with their fists like Englishmen, and playing the game of Siam with a large roulette table.--(_To his wife._) He asked you to take a gla.s.s of beer in a private room.--That handsome young man you see at the right is Alcibiades, with Socrates, his teacher, who is teaching him things he don't know.

While I listened I saw the curtain move more violently, and I heard the girl say in an undertone:

"Oh! how stupid! Ah! how stupid! I tell you I won't!"

Pere Trousquin motioned to his wife to pull the cord, and resumed his harangue.

"This, messieurs and mesdames, is taken from mythology; it is the magnificent Judgment of Solomon, called the Wise, who is preparing to carve a little child, exactly as if it was a pie. Observe the consternation of the little one as he awaits his fate, with his legs in the air; observe the fiendish glee of that shrewish stepmother, who looks on, dry-eyed, as if someone was going to give her a slice of rabbit; but observe the grief of the real mother, who seeks to turn aside the cleaver which already threatens the innocent child's navel."

THE YOUNG WOMAN (_under the curtain_).

Ah! the villain! ah! the villain! he keeps right on. What a stupid!

MONSIEUR TROUSQUIN.

Don't be alarmed, there won't be any cutting done; nature is about to speak.--(_To his wife._) Give me my soup; I'm hungry.--The mighty Solomon, looking at the two mothers with Argus eyes, says to himself--(_To his wife._) In G.o.d's name, why don't you get through with the onions?--"This child cannot have two mothers; if it was two fathers, that might be, such things have been seen."--(_To his wife._) You know something about that.--"Now, there's a snake in the gra.s.s here; the real mother's affection manifests itself by a deluge of tears; but this other vixen of a mother, who's as placid as Baptiste,"--(_To his wife._) It smells as if it was burned.--"has no maternal entrails; so the case is decided!"--Pull the cord.--"This, messieurs and mesdames, represents King David doing battle with the giant Goliath, the terror of the Philistines."--(_To his wife._) Why don't you look and see if it's right?--See with what force David hurls the stone that lays the giant in the dust.

MADAME TROUSQUIN. (_looking over the lantern_).

This ain't the one; you're showing 'em the Battle of Marengo now.

MONSIEUR TROUSQUIN.MONSIEUR TROUSQUIN.

As I was saying, messieurs and mesdames, you see the famous Battle of Marengo, won by the French troops.--(_To his wife._) You always put in too many carrots.

MADAME TROUSQUIN.