"Nate's dead, Josie. And you're going to be, too, if you don't let go of something you don't want. Nate wouldn't want anything to happen to you or his daughter. Get rid of Mitch. He's dangerous."

"You're right," Josie said.

She pulled the storage-locker key out of her purse, wrote down the address and unit number, wiped the key clean with a tissue, and stuck it in her coat pocket. She put the address and unit number in her other pocket.

Josie sighed. Nate meant well, but this gift was more trouble he'd brought into their lives.

"Are you okay?" Alyce asked.

"I guess," Josie said. "Nate was so wonderful in the hospital. It was like the man I loved was back. But he was a devil when he drank. I wished that drunk Nate dead, but I also lost my Nate."

"Josie, your Nate was gone long ago, if he ever existed."

"I know, I know. He was selling drugs when I was dating him, and I was too dumb to know that. G.o.d knows what else he was doing. I'm better off away from him, and so is our daughter."

Alyce turned into the pub's crowded parking lot. "What's the plan?"

"Circle the lot. I'll be out as soon as I get Amelia."

Josie stood at the doorway inside the dimly lit bar. Her black outfit seemed to melt into the shadows. Jack was laughing, playing darts and drinking with his son's friends. Jane was nowhere to be seen. Amelia was sitting with Mitch, sharing a basket of crispy fries. The table next to them was piled with thick-bottomed beer steins and empty food platters.

Great, Josie thought. How am I going to get Amelia away from Mitch?

She picked up an empty, lipsticked beer stein and marched over to Mitch's table.

"Amelia, we have to go. Right now." She held out her hand.

"Mom?" Amelia looked confused. "Is something wrong? I was just talking. Mr. Mitch knew Daddy."

Mitch smiled, showing those crooked-tombstone teeth. His eyes were flat and yellow, like a goat's. "Aw, don't be mad, Josie. I was telling my little friend a few key facts about her daddy." He hooked one huge hand around Amelia's arm. A Rolex watch glowed on his wrist. Josie could tell it was a fake by the jerky movement of the second hand.

"Amelia," Josie said. "We have to leave."

Mitch gripped Amelia's arm tighter. "We've had an interesting conversation. I didn't realize you still live in your mom's house in Maplewood. I could drop in anytime and surprise you. And your daughter. I've got lots of stories about her daddy."

The yellow goat's eyes narrowed. "Give me the key, Josie."

Josie threw the tissue-wrapped key on the table and it slid across the top. Mitch let go of Amelia's arm to reach for it. Josie slammed his wrist with the heavy beer stein. His fake watch crystal cracked.

"Oops," Josie said. "It slipped. I'm so sorry." Insincerity dripped from her voice like acid.

"Ow," Mitch said. "s.h.i.t. That was a Rolex."

Josie threw a twenty on the table. "It was a fake, Mitch, just like you. This should buy you a new one. If you want a real Rolex, I'd head out to that storage locker soon. You've got twenty-four hours before I call the police and they impound the cash."

Josie bent down and whispered in his hairy ear, "If I catch you talking to my daughter again, there won't be enough of you left to bury in an envelope."

"I won't forget this," Mitch snarled, rubbing his wrist and removing the shattered watch.

"I hope not. Amelia, tell your grandfather good-bye."

Amelia and Josie both hugged Grandpa Jack. Jane emerged from the restroom. "Mom, I'm taking Amelia home. You can drive my car, okay?"

Josie and her daughter headed for the door. She pa.s.sed Harvey throwing darts.

"Josie!" Harvey cried, loud enough so the whole bar could hear him. He came over and gave her a hug and said, "You aren't mad at me, are you?" The stench of beer on his breath nearly knocked her over.

"Harvey," Josie said, "why would I be mad at you? Listen, keep an eye on Mitch. He has the key to Nate's storage locker. I think he's going out there very soon, probably sometime today."

"You kidding me? I've been looking for that place for ten years. I'll give you a cut of the cash."

"No need," Josie said. "Nate left us well provided."

"How can I thank you?" Harvey asked.

"Your surprise will be thanks enough," Josie said, and virtually pushed Amelia out the door. "Quick! There's Alyce."

Alyce had the SUV's engine running. Josie nearly threw Amelia into the backseat. She noticed her daughter was carrying a blue velvet box, but there was no time to ask about it. Josie jumped in the front, then slammed and locked the door as if the devil were after her.

"Drive off," Josie said. "Hurry!"

"Where to?" Alyce asked.

"Home," Josie said. "I mean, my home. Maplewood."

"Josie, are you and Amelia going to be okay, or do you want to stay with Jake and me?"

"We'll be fine," Josie said. "Mitch has an errand that should keep him busy the rest of today and most of tomorrow. I know you have to bake those cookies, but do you have time to swing by the Galleria?"

"Are we having a shopping emergency?" Alyce said.

"I need to go to the California Pizza Kitchen," Josie said.

"Yay!" Amelia said. "Pizza for dinner!"

"Somehow I can't see you in a hurry for a chopped salad, Josie," Alyce said. "Don't worry about the cookies. Come over tomorrow if you want."

"I'll call the restaurant now for our order," Josie said. "What would you like, Alyce?"

"Nothing, thanks. I'll take a rain check."

"I want a pepperoni-and-mushroom pizza," Amelia said.

"You have your mother's same love of healthy food," Alyce said.

Amelia looked puzzled.

Josie placed her phone order while Alyce threaded the traffic-clogged streets to the mall. Josie studied the traffic behind them, making sure Mitch or Harvey wasn't following them. She saw only matronly minivans and sedate SUVs.

Alyce turned into the Galleria mall parking lot and stopped in front of the California Pizza Kitchen entrance. Josie jumped out.

"I'll circle around until you're out again," Alyce said.

Amelia started to follow her, but Josie said, "Stay with Alyce, please. I'll only be a minute."

Josie headed for the pay phone just inside the mall's lobby doors. She dialed information and asked for the St. Louis Regional CrimeStoppers number. Then she dialed it.

When a woman answered, Josie interrupted her. "I only have a minute. I don't want a reward and I can't give my name. Some dealers have been keeping large amounts of cash and drugs in a storage locker by the airport. One is dead and the other two are after his money. Here's the address."

She read the information, then said, "Hurry. It will be cleaned out in the next twenty-four hours."

Josie hung up, feeling frightened, triumphant, and ashamed. She'd never reported anyone to the police before. She was turning into Mrs. Mueller. But Mitch had threatened her daughter. She'd cut his heart out with a dull knife before she'd let him hurt Amelia.

Josie raced into the restaurant, paid for her order, and ran out again, waving down Alyce. The whole transaction took maybe ten minutes.

"Look what Grandpa gave me," Amelia said, when Josie settled into the front seat with the pizza box.

She held out a small crystal heart that looked like Waterford.

"It's beautiful, honey," Josie said.

"It's Daddy," Amelia said. "Grandpa said I could have some of him."

Josie saw the gray-white ash and bone chips through the gla.s.s and felt queasy. This was a spoonful of Nate.

"That was very-" Very what? She searched for the right word. Sad? Morbid? Freaking weird?

"Grandpa said this way I could always have my daddy with me. I'm thinking of burying him in the backyard, by the roses, so he'll have his own grave."

"Just like a pet cat," Josie said softly.

"What?" Amelia said.

"It's such a pretty crystal heart," Alyce said. "Maybe you'll want to keep it in your room. That way you'll have your father close to you. When you grow up and move away, you can take him with you."

Josie didn't know which was worse. Having a spoonful of her drunken ex buried in the backyard was creepy. But so was keeping a fancy ashtray of dear Daddy on her daughter's dresser.

"Do you really think Daddy's heart is inside this box?" Amelia asked.

"If that's what your grandfather told you," Josie said.

"It is," she said. "When I visit my grandpa in the summer, we're going to take the rest of Daddy to his favorite place."

"That's nice," Josie said. The ghoulish conversation made the hair stand up on the back of her neck. She was relieved when Alyce turned down their street. "Here we are."

"Thank you, Alyce," Josie said. "I'll see you tomorrow about ten, unless Harry calls and wants me to work."

Josie carried the pizza box, careful to avoid getting grease on her black coat. Amelia held her velvet heart box as if it might leap from her hands. They cast black shadows on the white snow.

What a picture we make, Josie thought. We should call this Daddy's Coming Home. But I don't think Norman Rockwell ever painted a scene like this.

Chapter 23.

Did I love Nate or a man who never existed? Josie asked herself.

She stared at her gla.s.s of red wine, as if the answer were hidden in its depths.

"Well, if you can't tell me anything useful, I've had enough of you," Josie said, and gulped it down.

She was curled up on the couch in her darkened living room, watching the winter shadows fall. She'd barely moved since she'd come home three hours ago. Josie felt too drained and exhausted. She didn't bother changing out of her black pantsuit. The memorial service, the detectives' interview, the tense encounter with the scary Mitch, and the cold, gray cemetery had made for a grim day.

Josie shivered and pulled the knitted throw around her. She poured herself another gla.s.s of red wine, then opened the tiny box of G.o.diva dark chocolate pearls and ate one.

Health food, she thought. Red wine and dark chocolate. Both good for the heart. Not that my heart is good for anything. It hurts, and all the wine and chocolate in the world won't help.

"Did you say something, Mom?" Amelia came into the living room with a square of pizza in one hand and the Waterford crystal heart in the other.

"Honey, you're going to get grease on your grandpa's present," Josie said.

"It's okay, Mom. I wiped my hands," Amelia said. "Why are you sitting in the dark?"

"I was just talking to myself," Josie said.

"You're nutso-crazy," Amelia said.

"Only if I answer back," Josie said.

Amelia had changed into the pink hoodie her father had bought her. Josie had washed it by hand so that it wouldn't be damaged. Amelia wore her present while she ate pizza in the kitchen, with the crystal heart on the table. Dinner with Daddy, Josie thought.

It had been a hard afternoon for her daughter. Amelia would nibble on a slice of pizza, then cry, then call her friend Emma, then go back to the kitchen and start the cycle again.

Josie wanted to take the crystal heart away. But she knew it would cause a terrible scene. Her daughter needed to mourn her lost father, and if her grandfather's creepy gift gave her comfort, so be it. Besides, Josie didn't have the energy to fight with Amelia.

A tear cascaded down Josie's cheek, and she didn't bother wiping it away. More tears came, hot and hurting. She didn't know if she was mourning the real Nate or her idealized lover. Josie sat in the dark room and tried to examine her own heart, which wasn't crystal clear at all.

How could I have been so dumb? she asked herself. I've been wrong about every man I've ever dated. Now that I've seen Nate's friends-the mean Mitch and the drunken Harvey-I must have worked hard to keep my eyes shut to any clues about Nate. I never really looked at the man I fell in love with.

Little memories came trickling back, scenes long forgotten. Like the night at a rowdy Riverfront bar. A friend of Nate's had sat down next to him and said, "I feel really tense, dude. I need to relax."

"I think I have something," Nate had said, and the two men disappeared outside. They were gone maybe ten minutes, but both came back smiling. Nate seemed to have had lots of tense friends in those days.

And one stupid girlfriend, Josie thought.