She clasped my hand and I nearly staggered at the burst of unconditional love that suddenly enveloped me. I looked into her smiling, wrinkled face, and didn't want to leave.

"Can I come back and visit you again?"

She shrugged. "Sometimes I'm here. Sometimes I'm not. Best you come at night. Alone."

"Why?"

"It's just best." She winked at me. "Good-bye, Jeffrey."

She locked the door behind me, and waved. As I headed down the sidewalk, I realized I'd never introduced myself. I looked back. The shop was dark, but a light blazed in the apartment overhead.

My anger toward Richard had waned, but the sour feelings it evoked lingered, depression settling in.

I had other things to think about. Like what inspired Sophie to direct me down the road instead of going home.

Curiosity got the better of me.

I headed for the bar.

CHAPTER 10.

The glow of a neon beer sign drew me half a block to a working-class sports bar called The Whole Nine Yards. Its dry warmth enveloped me as I pushed open the heavy glass door. A scattering of patrons watched a basketball game blaring on the tube. Football jerseys, hockey sticks, pennants, and signed photographs dotted the walls, but the budget for decor was a lot less than at The Extra Point downtown. It had the feel of a business on a downslide.

I avoided the pay phone. I had no intention of calling Richard.

The bartender interrupted his conversation with an older man at the other end of the bar when I took a seat. Weariness clung to him. I guessed him to be the owner, who looked like he'd been on his feet all day. "What can I get you?" he asked.

I considered my nearly empty wallet and my belly full of cocoa. "Club soda."

His expression said "no tip," but he poured me a glass from the well soda trigger. "That's a buck."

I put a five-dollar bill on the bar. He grabbed it, rang up the sale on the old cash register, gave me my change, and went back to kibitzing.

Four bucks-my total net worth. I'd have to nurse my drink for a while, but that was okay. I was willing to park here for a couple of hours.

I'd tended bar for a while after my stint in the Army; I could do it again. Sure, a part-time job at a place like this, maybe within walking distance. But who'd hire a broken-armed jerk who couldn't lift a case of beer or hold a lime to cut garnishes?

My mind wandered back to the ugly scene back home. Richard's house was not my home. It was a place to stay until I got back on my feet; at least that's what he'd said at the hospital.

The memory of that conversation came back to me.

He'd been gone all day, leaving me alone in that cell of a room. We hadn't had many meaningful discussions since I'd awakened from the coma two days before. Still, I'd gotten used to him being in the background.

"So, where've you been all day?" I'd asked, when he finally showed up that evening.

Richard settled his coat over the back of the room's only chair. "I had things to do."

"Business? Sightseeing?"

He straightened, as though tensing for battle. "Getting estimates from movers to take your stuff to Buffalo."

"Look, I never said-!"

"I know what you said. I was only getting estimates, okay?" A pause, then, "I spoke with your apartment manager."

My insides squirmed.

"Your back rent's taken care of."

"But I owed-"

"I said it's taken care of."

I was about to spew like Vesuvius when he interrupted me again.

"The last few times I've seen you, you've been distant and pissy. Have I done something to offend you?"

"The cultured, refined Doctor Alpert never offends anyone."

"Then stop acting like you've got a stick up your ass and tell me what's eating you."

"All right, you want an answer-the problem's you. You being so goddamned rich makes me feel like I'm shit. You're always shoving it down my throat and I'm sick of it!"

That wasn't even remotely true, but it sounded good and fit my mental state at the time.

He stiffened. "I'm sorry my financial status offends you, but I'm still your brother. I care about what happens to you, you dumb shit. Why else would I be here?"

He'd never spoken to me in anger. I'd never known him to swear.

"Guilt," I shot back. Richard blinked, taken aback. "Yeah, guilt-for the way your family treated our mother. Maybe you're only here for me because you weren't there for her!"

Richard looked away. My words had hit a nerve, all right, though I knew indifference hadn't kept him from knowing my mother and me. The legal maneuvers his grandparents used to keep my mother from him had cut him off from us, too. Yet I couldn't admit that to him in the heat of anger.

"Neither of us can change the past. But, in case you hadn't noticed, we're all the family we've got. When will it penetrate your thick skull that you're important to me?" He paused. "You never told me about Shelley until it was all over. Christ, your landlord told me you'd lost your job. Why didn't you call-why didn't you come to me?"

"Rich, you can't take care of me the rest of my life."

He spoke slowly, holding back his own anger. "I'm offering to help you 'til you get back on your feet. No strings attached. If you're too damned proud-" Richard broke off, struggling to regain his composure.

"I don't want to fight about this. That's the last thing you need right now. All I ask is that you seriously consider coming back to Buffalo with me-at least until you recover. After that, you can do as you please."

I'd exhaled raggedly, defeat seeping into me. Sick, hurting, and broke, I had nowhere else to go.

"Okay. I'll consider it."

Neither of us spoke for long minutes, then Richard grabbed his coat.

"I'm going to find something to eat. Want me to bring you a sandwich?" I shook my head. "Okay. See you later, right?"

"Yeah, right."

Richard shuffled toward the door, paused. "I'm sorry, Jeff. I hoped things could be different." Genuine regret colored his voice. I felt like a heel. Then he was gone.

I sank back in the bed. Dr. Klehr said a head injury like mine can lower all defenses. He'd been right. For the first time since my wife's death, I buried my face in the pillow and let the tears flow-like I had all those years ago when my mother died, when I first found myself totally on my own.

It took a while before I could think rationally. So, I'd finally told Richard off. Instead of feeling better, shame burned within me.

I hauled myself out of the bed, my arm aching. Leaning against the window sill three floors above the street, I stared at the bleak winter sky. The shit was just piling higher and higher.

Richard was right. What kept me in Manhattan, anyway? No job, no significant other, no close friends. The city held nothing but bitter memories. Richard was the only family I had. He was all I had on my side-if I hadn't just blown that, too.

A noise at the doorway interrupted my thoughts. I turned to see Richard, hands thrust into his coat pockets.

"I-I came back to apologize."

"What for?"

He inched closer. "Because maybe part of me thought I could come down here and play savior for you. It was arrogant of me. I'm sorry." Eyes downcast, he stared at his polished shoes. "I guess I still think of you as that skinny fourteen-year-old kid who desperately needed a home."

This was a Richard I'd never known-had never bothered to get to know.

He met my gaze and continued. "I came here because I'm sincerely worried about you and thought I could help. I hoped that after all these years maybe we could be friends. I don't know about you, but I can always use another friend."

My throat tightened until I thought I might choke. "That's funny. I was just thinking the same thing."

Richard moved forward, his arms open to capture me in a hesitant, gentle hug. And for the first time in my life, I hugged him back. Then suddenly we were standing face-to-face, embarrassed and uncomfortable.

"Please come to Buffalo. There's nothing for you here. Besides, I've got Bills season tickets, and Brenda hates football."

"Okay, but I've got to have my own space. And when it's time to leave, I don't want an argument."

Richard raised a hand. "Fine."

A cheer broke the quiet-and the buzzer signaled the end of the first period on the bar's TV.

I took a sip of my club soda. I owed Richard a lot, yet bitterness gnawed at me because the tentative trust I'd put in him-and he'd shown in me-had been so easily erased.

I couldn't let Richard browbeat me. If I didn't pursue my own investigation, Sumner's murderer might go free. And then there was the small boy who'd witnessed that terrible crime. It was his mental SOS, his fear, I'd experienced-not Sumner's. I'd never gotten anything from the victim-as though he had expected to die. . . .

The door opened and closed, and the light tap of footsteps interrupted my reverie. "Do you have a phone?" a woman asked.

The bartender pointed. "Over there."

I looked over my shoulder, surprised to see the woman from the bank. She dropped a quarter in the slot and dialed a number off a card in her hand. She caught my eye and I looked away.

I gazed into my drink. My arm itched. I wished I'd brought the chopstick.

A minute or two later, she joined me at the bar. "Hi, remember me?"

"Maggie Brennan."

She nodded and sat down on the stool beside me. "And you're Jeff."

She remembered.

"Car trouble?" I guessed.

"I hit a pothole. My right front tire blew."

I proffered my broken arm. "I'd like to give you a hand, but-"

"That's okay. Triple A will be here in a while."

"Can I buy you a drink instead?"

She eyed my glass. "I'll have what you're having."

I caught the bartender's attention. "A club soda-with a twist-for the lady." Somehow, she didn't seem surprised by my order. Moments later, the bartender put a fresh napkin on the bar and set down the glass. I left another dollar for him and indicated a table in the back, away from the noisy TV.

Maggie draped her coat over the back of the chair that I'd pulled out for her, then sat down. "Thanks. I'm taking a writing class at Daemen College. I was on my way home when I hit that damn pothole. I've never even been in this place before. I'm glad you were here."

"But you don't even know me."

She shrugged. "At least you're a familiar face. Hey, you got your hair cut. It looks good."

I raked a hand over my head. "Thanks. I'll feel better once it all grows in. In the meantime, I don't feel so much like a freak."

She gave me the once-over. "You don't look like a freak."

"But what if you'd walked in here and hadn't known me, and I'd tried to hit on you?"

"Would you?"

I felt a smile tug at my lips. "Maybe."

She took a sip of her drink. "You told me a fib the other day."

"Me?"

"You acted like you were sick."

"It wasn't much of an act. If you hadn't caught me, I really would've keeled over." I gazed into her pretty blue eyes. Something about them inspired tranquility.