Warm fingers grasped her chin and gently turned her face to his. She had no choice but to meet his enquiring gaze.

"You've never had an o.r.g.a.s.m?"

It was asked softly, gently, but all the same, she closed her eyes against her shame. He wasn't to know. He didn't know anything about her past. No one did. Except, Darryl and Hannaford. And now, maybe her mother.

"Kate, please talk to me. Don't shut me out. Not after what we've shared. Please."

His tender plea and the indefinable emotion that clouded his eyes tugged at her heart. Tears burned behind her eyes and she swallowed against the lump in her throat. Would it be such a disaster if she told him? Would it make him feel differently about her? Would he blame her?

A great weariness seeped into her bones. She was tired of carrying the weight of her secret. For over a decade, she'd borne it in silence, refusing to allow it to dominate her life. But it had always been there. How wonderful would it be to share the burden with someone?

Someone who might understand. Someone like Riley.

She stared at the tenderness in his eyes and fear clutched at her insides. But what if he didn't understand? What if she ruined the only chance she might have to live a normal life, in a normal relationship with a normal man? She might never find the courage to try again.

But would that be worth it? Building a relationship on lies? Sharing a life with someone who didn't know the deepest, darkest secret of her life? A secret that had slowly been devouring her, no matter how hard she'd tried to prevent it?

She had to tell him. She owed it to herself and she owed it to him. If he hated her for her past, so be it. Better to find out now, before too much of her heart became involved. If she didn't tell him, it would end up destroying them.

She squirmed a little underneath him until he shifted his weight. Turning, he lay on his side and pulled her in close against him. Reaching behind them, he tugged up the covers and draped them over both of them.

Kate snuggled her head against his chest. With her eyes fixed on a point far beyond their tangled limbs, she braced herself for what she was about to tell him.

Riley drew in a deep breath, unsure if he was ready for Kate's revelations. He'd asked her to talk to him, but now that the moment was upon him, dread weighed heavily in his gut. He wasn't certain what she was hiding, but her friend Cally had hinted at horrors he hadn't wanted to contemplate. Filled with a sense of foreboding, he tensed when she spoke.

"The day I turned ten was the day any chance I had for a normal life ended."

She said it matter-of-factly, as if she'd rehea.r.s.ed the words over and over until they sounded almost normal. Riley tightened his arm around her, fearing what was to come.

"Darryl came upstairs after I'd gone to bed. It had been a nice day. Cally had come around and we'd had chocolate cake and ice cream. Mom had given me a new bike. I'd ridden around the yard on it all afternoon. She'd come outside in her wheelchair to watch me."

She paused, as if lost in her memories. Riley held his breath.

"I was nearly asleep when Darryl came into my room. He closed the door and told me he had a special present for me, one he didn't want Mom to know about." Her voice dropped lower. "That was the first night he raped me."

Fury detonated inside him, thick and molten-hot. It flooded his veins, his body, his skin. He was on fire with the heat of his anger. His jaw clenched. His arm tightened around her. Yet he said nothing. He didn't trust himself to speak.

She continued-her words subdued and distant. "It didn't happen every night, but often enough that each episode blurred into the next. Two years later, I got my first period. I'd never been so pleased. What the other girls feared and dreaded, I had longed for." Her lips twisted. "I stupidly thought it would make a difference. I thought it would make him stop."

Her voice broke on a harsh sob. Riley's heart cracked. He pulled her to him, pressing kisses against her hair, soothing her with nonsensical murmurings, all the while seething with indescribable fury at the man responsible for her pain. He could barely bring himself to lie beside her quietly and listen. All he wanted to do was haul himself out of there, find Darryl Watson and tear him to shreds.

The ferocity of Riley's anger frightened him, but he was powerless to control it. He eased a breath through his constricted lungs and spoke, his voice low.

"It didn't stop."

She shook her head against his chest and his hold tightened. He prayed for it to soon be over. He didn't know how long he could lie there and listen, pretending to be calm and unaffected. She needed him to be strong, in control. He prayed in desperation for the strength she needed from him.

"No, it didn't stop. He just got more careful. He began to use condoms. At one stage, he suggested I go to the doctor and ask for the pill, but I refused."

"What about your mom?" he asked quietly, careful to keep his voice neutral.

A tiny shrug. "She didn't know. My bedroom was upstairs. She lived on the ground floor. At first, Darryl told me she wouldn't believe me. Later, he threatened to throw both of us out on the street, back where we came from and then where would she get the money she needed for all of her costly medications?"

Her ragged sigh broke his heart. "I believed him. I was a child. Later, I knew he was right. No one would believe me."

"You didn't go to the police?"

She reared back, her eyes wide and accusatory. "He was the police."

Riley closed his eyes and nodded. "You're right. I can understand how that must have felt; you were ten years old." He pulled himself up until his back rested on the headboard and drew Kate up beside him. Capturing her face between his hands, he stared at her, trying to make her believe him.

"It wasn't your fault, Kate. Forget the way he made you feel when you were a child. Look at it from the eyes of the adult you are now. Strong, beautiful, free. You did that. You made you the person you are. Nothing Darryl did then or now can change that. It blows me away just how much courage and determination you needed to achieve it, but you have. You have. And you should be proud of who you are and what you've done with your life."

Tears gathered in her eyes. He brushed them away tenderly with the pads of his thumbs. His voice dropped to a whisper.

"He stole something very precious from you and he had no right to do that. His actions were evil and absolutely unforgivable and I'll celebrate every hour and every minute of every day when he's locked away. And despite everything, you haven't let him win. You've beaten him. You've found the courage to make something of your life, by believing in yourself, despite what he did."

Her tears fell in earnest now and he drew her down against his chest. She cried as if her heart would break and his broke right alongside hers. The burning anger congealed into an icy block of rage that sat coiled and deadly in his gut, waiting to strike.

Forcing his fists to relax, he stroked her hair, whispering a.s.surances into its silky softness, giving her time to weep and to begin to heal.

It was a long time later when she lifted her head. She sniffed and offered him a shaky smile. "Do you mind pa.s.sing me the tissues?"

He smiled softly and reached for the box that sat on the nightstand. Turning away, she blew her nose and wiped her eyes.

"Thank you," she murmured.

"No, thank you," he replied, his voice gruff. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. You don't know how much your trust means to me."

Her eyes widened and another hesitant smile turned up her lips. The sight of it warmed his heart.

"Really? Do you really mean that?"

Emotions he refused to identify churned in his gut. He tried to speak, but his voice came out strangled. "Really."

She looked down at her hands where they rested on his chest. "I-I want to thank you for listening and for not freaking out. It feels so good to finally tell someone, like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders and even though I know it's probably too late to hope Darryl will ever be punished for it, at least I know he didn't best me."

Renewed anger surged through him. "What do you mean it's too late for him to be punished? Of course he'll be punished. There's no statute of limitations on rape. I meant it when I said I'll do everything in my power to see him behind bars, where he belongs. I only pray he gets some of his own treatment. I'm told even murderers don't abide rock spiders."

Kate's brow furrowed.

"Rock spiders. It's what they call pedophiles on the inside," he explained.

She drew in a deep breath. "Speaking of pedophiles, there's something else I haven't told you. It's about Commander Hannaford."

CHAPTER 25.

Kate pulled out of Riley's arms and reached for her nightdress. Shrugging it on over her head, she stood and moved away from the bed. Riley watched her, concern and wariness warring on his face.

"What about Commander Hannaford?"

Crossing her arms over her chest, Kate hugged herself, struggling to find the courage to finish what she'd started. She'd come this far; it was only right she tell the whole story.

She drew in a deep breath. "Commander Hannaford called by this afternoon, just before Darryl."

Shock widened his features. "Hannaford and Watson were here? When? Why didn't you call me?"

"I did, remember? I tried to call you. I left you a message."

Her words, although not meant unkindly, rang with accusation. Riley's cheeks flushed with embarra.s.sment and he looked away.

"That's why you were calling?"

Kate shook her head. "No, it was about something else, something about my mother. But then I had the...visitors and things spiraled out of control."

"What did Hannaford want?"

"I'm not sure. It's not important."

"It is to me," Riley objected, pulling on his boxer shorts and coming to stand beside her. "He's the one who's been blowing me off about this investigation. The more I dig, the more I'm convinced something has happened to your mother and that Darryl's responsible. Hannaford went out of his way to warn me away from Darryl. He also told me not to believe a word you said. There's no reason for him to have done that unless he already knows Darryl's guilty."

"Darryl is guilty. He as much as admitted it."

She said it quietly, but comprehension and shock flared immediately in Riley's face.

"Darryl admitted it? Are you kidding?"

Anger tightened her lips and she moved away from him, pacing in the small confines of the room. "Do I look like I'm kidding? I just told you. He came here and threatened me with a gun and told me if I didn't behave I'd disappear just like my mother."

Riley's face paled. He stumbled back to the bed and hauled on his trousers, hopping from one foot to the other in his haste. His shirt was next, only half-b.u.t.toned as he searched the floor for his boots.

"Christ, you mean to tell me that son of a b.i.t.c.h drew a gun on you and threatened to kill you and you're only now telling me about it? What the h.e.l.l were you thinking?"

She absorbed his anger in silence, knowing he was angry because he cared.

He cared. About her. It was a wonderful feeling.

"You want to know what I was thinking?" she said quietly, watching calmly as he tugged on his socks. "I was thinking about Commander Hannaford and how I'd just realized he was the man my stepfather brought into my bedroom the night before I ran away."

Riley's knees buckled. He sat down heavily on the bed.

Christ, how much more could he take? How much more could Kate take? He was stunned at her revelation, but he didn't doubt her for a second. The look on her face and the quiet sincerity in her words was enough. He didn't know how she could be so calm about it. He wanted to scream and rant to anyone who would listen about the horror and injustice of it. He strained to hear her over the blood that pounded in his ears.

"Up until that night, it had only been Darryl and his video camera. But the night before I ran away, right after my fourteenth birthday, he brought a friend."

She closed her eyes and her arms tightened around her middle. Riley wanted to go to her, to hold her, but he was paralyzed, his limbs leaden with the horror of it.

"I never knew who it was. Darryl never called him by name and he wasn't there very long. It was dark. All I remember was his ring. It was quite distinctive. Darryl told me I was to let him have s.e.x with me, but I refused. I was getting older and wasn't the terrified ten-year-old I'd once been."

She smiled without humor. "Of course, Darryl was furious. We argued in front of the visitor and Darryl slapped me across the face. I think it frightened Hannaford off, because shortly afterwards, he told Darryl it probably wasn't such a good idea and he'd come back some other time. I decided then and there I wouldn't wait for that to happen."

She turned away and stared blankly at the curtained window. When she spoke again, her voice was devoid of emotion.

"Darryl raped me twice that night. After he'd finished with me, I packed a small bag and waited for the house to go quiet. I left in the early hours of the morning and never came back."

Riley's eyes filled with emotion he could no longer suppress. "Until now," he choked.

Kate smiled a small, sad smile. "Until now."

"Did Darryl say anything else about your mother?"

"No, only what I told you, but I know he's killed her. He sure as h.e.l.l didn't deny it when I said as much."

"What do you think happened?" he asked softly.

Her shoulders slumped on a heavy sigh. "I don't know exactly, but I think she found the videos, or at least one of them."

"Darryl made movies?"

She nodded. "I was twelve or thirteen. One night, I noticed a tiny red light coming out of my wall. I went up to investigate and discovered the camera. I smashed it and told Darryl I would go to the police if he ever took pictures of me again." She shrugged. "He must have believed me because I never saw a camera after that."

She walked over to the bed and sat down beside him. "I don't know how long he'd been filming and I don't know what he did with the movies he'd made, but I went back over Mom's emails this afternoon. The last one I received from her was the day before she told Daisy something had happened and she had to leave. She told me in the email she was sorry."

Riley frowned in confusion. "Why didn't you tell me about her email before?"

Kate grimaced. "I was afraid you'd jump to the conclusion that she'd committed suicide-that the apology was meant to compensate for the fact she intended to take her own life."

She looked up at him. "When I first read the message, a couple of days after she'd sent it, that thought even occurred to me. I spent an excruciatingly anxious week in London scouring the Watervale Daily for news of her death. When there was no mention of it, and I still couldn't contact her, I knew I had to come back. I had to find out what was going on. It wasn't until I put everything together after speaking with Daisy that things started to fall into place."

She shrugged. "I still don't know for sure, but knowing what I do, the video possibility makes a lot of sense. She could have found one or more videos, confronted Darryl about them and made secret plans to leave. Maybe she threatened to expose him or maybe she didn't? Maybe he didn't want to take the risk that one day she might?

"Either way, she had to go. When his good mate Barry Bloomfield told him about Mom's plan to leave, he knew he had to act fast."

Shock struck Riley like a physical blow. "Darryl told you that? About Barry warning him?"

Her lips twisted. "Oh, yes. With more than a bucketful of glee, I might add."

Riley shook his head. Daisy would be devastated.