[Ill.u.s.tration: MODERN IMPRESSIONIST ART. A MUSICAL COMEDY]

[Ill.u.s.tration: AT THE PREMIeRE

_Lady in Front Row (to her neighbour, towards the end of the second act)._ "Who is this man next me, who's just come in,--do you know? He doesn't seem to be paying the smallest attention to the play!"

_Her Neighbour._ "Oh, I expect he's a critic. He's probably made up his mind long ago what he's going to say of the piece; but he's just dropped in to _confirm his suspicions_."]

NO FIRST-NIGHTER.--_First Man in the Street._ See the eclipse last night?

_Second Man in the Street._ No. Thought it might be crowded. Put off going till next week.

[Ill.u.s.tration: THE BILL OF THE PLAY]

[Ill.u.s.tration: AMENITIES OF THE PROFESSION.--_Rising Young Dramatist._ "Saw your wife in front last night. What did she think of my new comedy?"

_Brother Playwright_. "Oh, I think she liked it. She told me she had a good laugh."

_R. Y. D._ "Ah--er--when was that?"

_B. P._ "During the _entr'acte_. One of the attendants dropped an ice down her neighbour's neck."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: THE HIGHER EDUCATION OF WOMEN

_Dora_ (_consulting a playbill_). "Only fancy! '_As You Like It_' is by Shakspeare!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: PRIVATE THEATRICALS. A REHEARSAL.--_The Captain._ "At this stage of the proceedings I've got to kiss you, Lady Grace. Will your husband mind, do you think?"

_Lady Grace._ "Oh no! It's for a _charity_, you know!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: AN INFANT ROSCIUS.--_Stage Manager_ (_interviewing children with the idea of engaging them for a new play_). "Has this child been on the stage?"

_Proud Mother._ "No; but he's been on an inquest, and he speaks up fine!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: A SOLILOQUY.--_Tragedian._ "Cheap. Ha, ha! Why in my time they _threw_ them at us!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: "Well, papa, how did you enjoy the play to-night?"

"Oh, I think I enjoyed it fairly well, my dear. I've got a general sort of idea that I didn't go to sleep over it!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: _Enthusiastic Lady Amateur._ "Oh, what a pity! We've just missed the first act!"

_Languid Friend._ "Have we? Ah--rather glad. I always think the chief pleasure of going to a theatre is trying to make out what the first act was about!"]

THEATRICAL.--When it is announced that an actor will be supported by the _entire_ company, it is not thereby meant that the said professional is sustained in his arduous part solely by draughts of Barclay, Perkins and Co.

The wretch who refuses to take his wife to the theatre deserves to be made to sit out a play.

GOOD "PIECE" OF FURNITURE FOR THEATRICAL MANAGERS.--A chest of "drawers."

REGENERATION OF THE BRITISH DRAMA.--There are at this moment three English managers in Paris "in search of novelty!" More: three distinguished members of the Dramatic Authors' Society started for France last night.

"AS GOOD AS A PLAY."--Performing a funeral.

A PLANT IN SEASON.--Now is the time of year when managers of theatres show a botanical taste, for there is not one of them who does not do his best to have a great rush at his doors.

THE DRAMATIC AUTHOR'S PLAYGROUND.--Paris.

THEATRICAL NOTE.--_Net_ profits are generally the result of a good "_cast_."

[Ill.u.s.tration]