It certainly could be s.e.xism, but she hadn't felt patronized and no one had made any stupid jokes about hair and beauty or scary insects. In fact, there were quite a few comments made about the quality of her research papers and her enviable new position at Sealy-Weiss. The men had talked about Belton Pharmaceuticals' nancial commitment to the expedition, and how fortunate they were to have this giant commercial company dealing with the Indonesian bureaucracy and generally paving the way. They all seemed impressed that Charlotte's a.s.signment was at Belton's behest, and everyone, Miles included, had been eager to offer her any a.s.sistance she needed.

In a ash of comprehension, Charlotte wondered if she was receiving special attention not because she was a woman, but because * 118 *

of her link to their major sponsor. She let that idea sink in. It made complete sense. Naturally she would be seen as a valuable commodity.

Her presence contributed directly to the nancial viability of the expedition. All the men she was working with were bene ting because Belton wanted their interests represented and she was the one chosen to bring home the bacon, so to speak.

She allowed herself a small smile of satisfaction. If she was as important as it seemed, perhaps she could apply some leverage.

Why shouldn't she have her own private tent, whatever that "Nitro"

individual said? He wasn't in charge. He was being paid to keep them safe. She almost laughed at herself for believing his deadpan threats to escort her back to Pom or throw her out of the helicopter. The guy had bullied her into submission and she had folded, believing this place was just lawless enough that a man like him could get away with anything.

She should have been more a.s.sertive. From now on, she would be.

She glanced across at Ash, who seemed fully occupied with night-time preparations and had barely looked at her after setting up the camp bed.

"How many tents did we actually bring?" she asked and was irritated when her companion did not have the courtesy to look up.

"Enough for the whole party."

"No spares?"

"If we have a mishap, we can have replacements brought in with the supply drops."

Charlotte wondered if Ash had caught the dinner discussion about the aims for the expedition. If so, she had to know Charlotte wasn't just any member of the team, she was a key player. Ash had seemed detached while everyone was talking, making a show of cleaning her guns. But that didn't mean she wasn't paying attention. Charlotte had a feeling very little escaped her.

"I was thinking maybe a one-person tent could be brought in for me," she said, testing the waters. "I'm a private person and I'll have a lot of work to do, recording observations and writing up notes. I really need my own s.p.a.ce."

"I'm sure all your pals on the team feel exactly the same way."

Ash removed her holster and set it down next to her sleeping bag. "The bad news is we'll be in terrain that doesn't lend itself to a sprawl. Tent numbers have to stay at the minimum."

It made sense, but Charlotte couldn't shake the feeling that * 119 *

Ash found her predicament amusing. Most people would have been morti ed over what she now knew about the Dani Bush episode, but Ash seemed completely blase about it. Maybe such conduct was just par for the course for her. Charlotte didn't think she'd ever seen anyone whose sensuality was such an out-in-the-open secret. In every way, from her animal physicality and self-awareness to her guarded but knowing stare, she oozed the kind of s.e.xual con dence no one came by if they lived like a nun.

Charlotte allowed herself to watch covertly as she prepared for sleep. She had a lethal, unconscious grace that made it hard to look away. Every movement was automatic, as though she'd done the same thing hundreds of times. After checking the mosquito nets were secure, she sprayed some insecticide around the entrance to the tent, then removed various items from her pockets and arranged them neatly next to her sleeping pad. She then unfastened her ammunition belt, an action that made Charlotte's breath catch, and she stared, strangely riveted, as Ash rolled her sleeves down and b.u.t.toned the cuffs, then unb.u.t.toned her shirt all the way, letting it hang loosely over a tank that advertised her lean muscularity.

Charlotte wanted to look anywhere but at the nipples that jabbed the thin cotton. They were hard. Was Ash turned on or just one of those women whose nipples never slept? She quickly lowered her gaze. Bad idea. She didn't want to look at the y b.u.t.tons of Ash's khakis and the t of her pants around her crotch, but the thought that she could just reach out and unfasten the heavy cotton y made her light-headed.

Ash seemed oblivious to her scrutiny, for which she was thankful but also strangely bothered. Part of her wanted to be seen, to hold Ash's attention the same way she had that evening at the Pongo Tavern, when they'd danced closer and closer until Charlotte had yearned for the mating embrace that never came.

How could this be happening to her? It was l.u.s.t. Plain and simple.

Normally, it never occurred and she was thankful for that. l.u.s.t was irrational and could complicate any situation. In one like this, it was a liability she could not afford. Charlotte hoped if she just ignored it, it would pa.s.s soon. Perhaps she was frustrated. It had been a while, after all.

She cast her mind back to the last time she'd had s.e.x. Three months?

No, six. The actual details of the encounter were now a little foggy.

She'd been dating Dr. Hazel Robson and postponing the inevitable.

* 120 *

Finally their schedules coincided and they could take a weekend away.

Charlotte wanted to go because it was healthy to have regular s.e.xual activity and they'd already discussed whether they would be compatible in bed. It seemed they would and looking back now, she thought they'd had a nice time.

Hazel was attractive and t, and a considerate lover with a competent oral s.e.x technique. She was gentle and didn't seem worried that Charlotte took a long time to reach an o.r.g.a.s.m, if she had one at all.

They'd persevered and nally she had a very satisfying climax on their second night together. Hazel said she wasn't all about o.r.g.a.s.m, anyway.

She wasn't twenty anymore and found cuddling equally rewarding.

That was something they had in common. In fact, after the weekend, they'd agreed that if they had to choose between a good ma.s.sage and s.e.x, the ma.s.sage was more tempting.

They'd gone out a few more times after that, but the only nights they slept together, there was no lovemaking. They kept agreeing it would happen next time and there was no hurry, but in the end they hadn't got around to it again. Hazel met someone else, who shared her fondness for indoor bowling, and Charlotte was applying for the Sealy-Weiss job. So she wasn't even going to be in the same city anymore if she was offered the position. They'd parted as friends, without any acrimony, and since then Charlotte had been too busy to consider dating anyone else. It stood to reason that she was noticing her physical needs by now. She was a normal woman.

She watched Ash place the menacing-looking pistol close to her pillow, unzip her sleeping bag, and climb into it fully clothed.

Modesty? Or did Ash think she was so irresistible, stripped down, that any woman in her proximity would be putty? Butches like her appeared to have a diagnosable need to aunt themselves. They were only interested in one thing and mistakenly a.s.sumed it was the same for everyone else. Well, Charlotte had news for her.

Acidly, she said, "I won't look if you want to get undressed."

Ash lifted her head and surveyed her for the rst time in at least ten minutes. Her eyes shone like onyx in the poor light. "I sleep in my clothes. I'm paid to be prepared if the need arises."

"Whatever." Charlotte still thought the whole idea of a security detail was absurd, and now that they'd reached Kwerba the precautions truly seemed like overkill. They were in the middle of nowhere, deep in a jungle no one ever tried to penetrate, not even the tribes who lived * 121 *

here. From all accounts there were no large predatory animals and no militias. Who or what exactly were they being protected from?

Ash asked, "Need anything from your pack before I kill the lamp?"

"No. Thank you."

Charlotte knew her tone was ungracious, even sarcastic, and she was surprised at herself. Why was she letting this woman get under her skin? It wasn't like Ash was actually doing anything untoward.

In fact, ever since their awkward conversation earlier that day, she'd treated Charlotte like a stranger. Given Charlotte's unwelcome physical response to her, wasn't that a good thing?

As Ash extinguished the lamp, Charlotte surrendered herself to the unfamiliar noises of the jungle. She could hear faint stirring sounds as Ash got settled in her sleeping bag just inches away, then the soft rush of a sigh and the din of her own heart pumping hot blood to places that distracted her. Outside, trees rustled and distant, eerie screeches cut through the night. The darkness was intense and heavy, the air in the tent stickily warm. Charlotte tried to get to sleep but after a few minutes she realized it was never going to happen.

She was agitated and tense, and it didn't help that she could not block out the sound of Ash's breathing, and the sense of her just feet away yet painfully distant. Squirming, she touched a ngertip to one of her bothersome nipples and found it stone hard and unbearably sensitive. So, too, her skin. Everywhere she touched, goose b.u.mps danced a wild, clamoring response. She let her hand rest on her belly, trying to soothe herself by thinking of cool, clean water dripping from a fresh, crisp triple-washed salad.

Her mind retaliated with a lurid vision of Ash between her legs, giving her what she needed. Deep inside, her womb answered with a small implosion that made her stomach muscles clench. Horri ed, Charlotte unzipped her sleeping bag and apped it to relieve the heat of her frantic arousal.

Ash must have noticed this desperate measure because she said, "Don't worry. It'll be cooler in the uplands."

"I thought this was meant to be winter," Charlotte snapped.

She could feel an o.r.g.a.s.m stalking her, just waiting for a moment of weakness. This could not be her body.

"No, not exactly. We don't have four seasons in New Guinea.

* 122 *

There's the wet season and the dry season. You guys are here just before the start of the wet season."

"It feels hotter than Pom."

"That's the humidity. It's a hundred percent up here."

"Great." Charlotte could only imagine what it was going to be like ghting her way through the vegetation tomorrow, everything cha ng. And more so because she was abnormally swollen. It had to be hormonal, perhaps a reaction to the climate. Delayed jet lag and homesickness. "I hope we're hauling plenty of water," she muttered.

"Yeah, we thought about that."

"I don't know how you live here all year round."

"I take breaks."

"Oh, that's right. You go back home and have threesomes."

Ash was silent. Charlotte thought she detected a slow sigh. She could kick herself for her comment. What did it matter to her what Ash did? Her annoyance wasn't about Tamsin. The damage to that relationship had happened long before Ash went home with Dani and her new girlfriend. No, Charlotte was peeved that Ash would sleep with a piece of work like Dani but walk away from her. Talk about lousy taste in women.

"Not that it's any of my business," she said, hoping she sounded nonchalant. "I just hope you get checked for herpes."

"What?" Ash sounded incredulous.

"Well, I have a right to be concerned," Charlotte said coldly. "It gets pa.s.sed on by kissing, and if you're going to have s.e.x with s.l.u.ts like Dani Bush, who knows what STDs you might have."

A long, pregnant silence ensued, then Ash said, "Why do I get the feeling this is not just a health issue with you?"

"Because you can't imagine anyone taking responsibility for their s.e.xual conduct?" Charlotte replied sweetly.

"Give me strength," Ash muttered. "Okay. For the record, I get tested and I make sure my partners do the same."

"Oh, right. You interview them before you jump into bed?"

"Actually, yes."

"How romantic."

"Romance is not a factor."

"Big surprise."

"Jesus." It sounded like Ash had thrown off her covers. Charlotte * 123 *

could hear metallic noises and she could make out a change in the deep shadows. Ash had sat up. "What the f.u.c.k is eating you?"

Her voice held a warning quality that made Charlotte's spine p.r.i.c.kle. "Nothing. Other then the fact that I'm forced to share this sauna of a tent with a woman who was in my best friend's bedroom, having s.e.x with her trashy ex plus the woman she's been cheating with. It doesn't speak well of you."

"G.o.d forbid I have consensual s.e.x with whomever I like without asking her entire life history. Are you always so moralistic and judgmental?"

"We're not talking about me."

"Sure we are. You're the one who's p.i.s.sed off. What exactly is the problem? Are you angry because I didn't sleep with you back in Pom?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

A hand snapped around her wrist. "Wrong answer. Try the truth."

Charlotte's stomach lurched and a hot shock of awareness seared every nerve ending where Ash's ngers dug in. She locked her knees together to counter the quiver that stiffened her c.l.i.t. "Let go of me. I'll scream."

"And this entire camp will think you just found a giant millipede in your bra."

"Oh, G.o.d." Charlotte shuddered, distracted from her peaking arousal by that hideous image. She tugged her arm, trying to free herself. Breathing unevenly, she threatened, "I'll get you sacked."

"Be my guest." The hold relaxed just enough to catch Charlotte off guard, then Ash exerted a completely different kind of force, hauling her off her narrow cot and dragging her across the strip of canvas that separated them.

"How dare you," Charlotte gasped. "What do you think you're doing?"

She couldn't see six inches in front of her and her legs were tangled in the sleeping bag liner, but she swatted where she thought Ash's face might be and her free hand connected vaguely with bare skin before it, too, was ruthlessly captured. Squirming, she found herself drawn back to lean against Ash, both hands clamped together in front of her.

A voice in her ear, ordered, "Stop ghting me. I'm not going to hurt you."

Warm breath spread sensation over Charlotte's face and down * 124 *

her neck. She tried to turn her head away but only ended up with her tingling cheek attened against Ash's chest.

Forced to listen to the steady beat of Ash's heart, she said, "I don't know what you're playing at, but I'm not one of your dumb blondes."

Ash laughed softly. "Can't argue with that."

Then Charlotte found her hands released, but the arms that encircled her were so unyielding she couldn't get away. Ash had to notice how hard her nipples were, she thought miserably.

Her insolent captor said, "Now listen carefully. We're only going to have this conversation once."

Charlotte contemplated yelling for help, but somehow she couldn't summon the will. Instead she stopped struggling and wilted. There was something comforting about being held so tightly and maybe she was an idiot, but she believed Ash wouldn't hurt her. Stif y, she said, "I'm listening."

Ash seemed lost in thought for a moment and Charlotte felt a tremor pa.s.s through the hard body pressed to her back. "I just lost the one person in my life I really loved." Ash's voice was leaden with grief.

"The last thing I want to be doing right now is babysitting you and your nerdy pals. If there hadn't been a woman on your team, my boss could have replaced me. But no such luck."

As she spoke, her arms relaxed by degrees. If she moved fast, she could break away, Charlotte thought. But she did nothing. In fact, she sagged back into the body behind her own, listening despite herself.

"You've gone out of your way to be a b.i.t.c.h to me all day," Ash said. "And maybe I deserve it. But I really don't give a d.a.m.n what you think of me personally. I have to be on my game for the next week and it's hard enough already without you on my case. So I'm asking you to show me some basic respect. Does that seem unreasonable?"

Ash was no longer restraining her, and Charlotte wasn't sure when that had changed, but she still had no desire to leave the sheltering embrace. She waited to feel anger in response to Ash's words. The trouble was, she just felt ashamed of herself. Ash was right. She had been a b.i.t.c.h. Petty, self-righteous, and controlling. She'd barely spared a thought for what Ash must be going through, having suffered the loss of her sister. She was too busy being angry.