And those who seek at Christmas time, An inexpensive gift for Mother, Will fine this foolish book of rhyme As apposite as any other, And suitable for presentation To any poor or near relation.

To those whose intellect is small, This work should prove a priceless treasure; To persons who have none at all, A never-ending fount of pleasure; A mental stimulus or tonic To all whose idiocy is chronic.

And you, my Readers (never mind Which category you come under), Will, after due reflection, find My verse a constant source of wonder; 'Twill make you _think_, I dare to swear-- But _what_ you think I do not care!