This resentment was still churning in his mind long after Jess had kissed him goodnight and switched off the light. It was three days now since the Amba.s.sador's party during which Julius had succeeded in avoiding Marybeth, having lied on the telephone that feeling sick was his reason for not going to her apartment that night. Now he was there, determined to break it off for good between them. Marybeth's face crumpled when he finished speaking, and she turned away from him. Her shoulders began to heave. 'It's all lies,' she finally croaked. 'No it isn't,' he replied patiently. 'I checked. I sent a wire to a guy I know in the Toronto Emba.s.sy and he confirmed all that Zwicke said.' 'Who was that?' 'Orin Bates. Remember him?' She did, only too well. 'So I guess that's it.' Marybeth crossed to a decanter of scotch and poured herself one, her hands shaking violently. When she drank some of the liquor ran down her chin. 'Don't go, please, Julius?' she pleaded. He shook his head. 'Zwicke called you a floozie, and you've certainly acted like one. h.e.l.l, I don't want to sound self righteous here, I'm not exactly as pure as the driven myself. I certainly have no objections to a girl havin' had a bit of experience in her past, that's only to be expected, but I'm not datin' what amounts to a G.o.dd.a.m.n amateur wh.o.r.e.' Marybeth's expression was stricken, her entire body now starting to shake. 'It wasn't like that, Julius. I swear.' 'Then what was it like?' She had another gulp of scotch. 'I was young, wild. None of it mattered, not to me anyhow. I was simply havin' a good time, enjoyin' myself.' 'Enjoyin' yourself?' He laughed cynically. 'More than that, Marybeth, far more. Half the guys in the Emba.s.sy I'm told, 248 Moonlit Eyes young and old, includin' the Amba.s.sador. That's not enjoyin' yourself, that's being' the easiest lay around. A piece ofgoodtime meat for whoever happens along.' He paused to draw breath, his emotions a combination of anger and total contempt. And I want none of you.' The tears were now freely flowing down Marybeth's face, her body continuing to shake. 'I love you, Julius. I swear to G.o.d I do. I want to marry you, settle down and have your children.' He'd always thought Marybeth beautiful, but at that moment she was as ugly as sin. Loathing rose up inside him as he thought, pictured, what she'd been up to before they'd met. That was something he'd never, could never, forget. 'Goodbye,' he stated abruptly. She gasped when he said that, then flew across the room to grab his arm. 'Please don't go. Forgive me. Please forgive me!' He tried to push her off but she clung tenaciously on, all the while making gobbling sounds similar to those made by turkeys. It was horrible. Marybeth slid down him to latch onto a leg, wrapping her arms tightly round it. 'Please, please,' she whimpered. 'Let go, Marybeth. Let go.' 'I love you, Julius. I love you so.' 'Well, I don't love you. Now let go, for Christsake! Keep a little dignity.' He somehow reached the door, although she continued to cling fiercely onto him. He hadn't known what to expect on coming to her apartment, but certainly not this. He managed to open the door then attempted yet again to prise himself free. In the end there was nothing else for it. Using the palm of his hand he smacked her hard across the face. Taken by surprise, and reeling from the force of the blow, Marybeth tumbled backwards to measure her length on the floor. Seizing his chance Julius fled, slamming the door shut behind him. A great agonised wail went up from her apartment as he hurried for the stairs, not daring to wait for the lift.

Only when he was back in the street did he stop and take a deep breath. That had been awful, simply awful. Pitiful too. He had just reached his car when the air-raid sirens, silent for the past few weeks, began to howl. Moments later the first of hundreds of German planes roared overhead, ack-ack guns simultaneously bursting into action, their fiery tracers lancing skywards. The Blitz had resumed. 250

Chapter 19

Is that you, Julius?' He looked round the kitchen, wondering where his mother's voice was coming from. 'Where are you?' 'Under the table.' He smothered a laugh to see Beulahs large and rotund posterior protruding upwards, she on all fours with her hands over her head. 'What are you doin'?' he demanded. 'What does it look like, stupid? There are bombs fallin' out there.' 'Then why not go to the shelter if you're so worried?' 'Don't give me none of your sa.s.s now. I ain't goin' to no shelter, and that's the end of it.' The house shook as a bomb fell relatively nearby. 'Holy s.h.i.t!' Beulah exclaimed. 'That son of a b.i.t.c.h was real close.' A grim-faced Julius sat in a chair from where he could see Beulahs face. From outside came the crackle of ack-ack fire. 'You go to the shelter,' Beulah said. He didn't reply to that, having no intention of doing so. Nor was he prepared to argue about it. Leaning backwards he lit a cigarette. He wasn't being particularly brave, it was simply that he believed if your number was up then that was it no matter what.

'You drive home through the bombin'?' Beulah demanded. 'Sure did.' 'You're crazy, real crazy. Why didn't you stop somewhere and get under cover?' 'I'm under cover now,' he pointed out. Beulah pulled a face. 'There you go, sa.s.sin' me again. You know what I mean.' He sighed. 'I wasn't in the mood to spend the night with strangers. Mom. Not in the mood at all.' 'Why's that?' He drew in a deep lungful of smoke, then slowly exhaled. 'I broke up with Marybeth tonight, permanently, that's why.' Beulah studied him. 'You did, huh?' He nodded. 'Why you do that, boy? She's a good woman, that Marybeth. Good-lookin' too. I like her.' Julius took his time in replying. 'I've mentioned the guy I share an office with, Walter Zwicke?' 'A few times. You don't care for him, do you?' 'He's a creep. A total slimeball. But that's not the point. He told me somethin' the other night, all about Marybeths past, when she was in Toronto.' 'I take it from the tone of your voice it wasn't good?' He closed his eyes for a moment, wondering how much longer this raid would go on for. 'No, it wasn't,' he confirmed.

Beulah waited and waited. 'Well, are you goin' to tell me?' she finally queried. 'It'll disillusion you about her.' 'That bad, eh?' 'That bad. Mom.' 'Holy sheeet!' Beulah exclaimed as another bomb exploded, this time even closer. The lights flickered, then went out, leaving them in darkness apart from the glow off the fire. 'I nearly wet my pants there,' Beulah confessed. That made him smile, despite the danger they were in. 252 Moonlit Eyes Slowly, he began to repeat his conversation with Zwicke followed by what had taken place in Marybeth's apartment. Ellie pulled the Buick alongside the kerb when they came across the burning wreckage of one of their station's own vehicles. 'Christ!' Ellie exclaimed. 'That's Molly Davis and Pat Halfpenny's car.' Ellie and Josie Farnham scrambled out of the Buick and cautiously approached the wreckage. To their horror, Molly and Pat were clearly visible in the front seats, both dead, their bodies flaming torches. 'Oh!' Josie choked, and turned away, wondering if her colleagues had died instantly, or had been trapped alive to be burned to death. She prayed it was the former. 'We'd better get back in case it explodes,' Ellie advised sensibly.

'There's nothing we can do anyway.' 'No,' Ellie agreed, thinking, poor b.l.o.o.d.y cows. 'Pat owed me ten bob,' Ellie said huskily as they drove off down the street. 'That's one debt she won't be repaying.' Behind them the makeshift ambulance that was now a funeral pyre continued to burn.

The Chicory House was jam-packed, mostly with uniforms. Nor were they all British. Numbered amongst them were Free French, Polish, Czech and Belgian service men and women, all thoroughly enjoying themselves, spellbound by the music Pee Wee and the band were playing. They were in the middle of 'I'm A Ding Dong Daddy' when suddenly the scream of a descending bomb could be heard, seemingly right above them. Fear clutched at Pee Wee's heart, and his fingers momentarily faltered. Several members of the audience rose and dashed for the exits, others sat as though paralysed, looking upwards. This was it, Pee Wee thought. His time had come. It was only a few seconds, but it seemed an eternity, before the bomb exploded not far away. Dust rained down from the ceiling while gla.s.ses and tables were knocked over, some of the gla.s.ses tinkling to the floor. 'I think I'll get my a.s.s out of here,' John Parlour whispered to Pee Wee, the band having stopped playing. 'Yeah,' agreed Muggsy Young, the other member of the trio. Pee Wee took a deep breath. 'h.e.l.l no,' he stated firmly. Holding up a hand he addressed the audience. 'Listen, folks, I ain't lettin' no Germans spoil my session, and we doin' real good too. So if you'll just stay right where you are me and the boys here will get on with it. G.o.d bless Winston Churchill and the President of the United States!' A great cheer greeted that, followed by tumultuous applause. One or two of those who'd dashed for the exits returned, rather shame-faced, to their seats. 'How about a jazzed-up version of "Rule Britannia"?' Pee Wee suggested. John Parlour laughed. 'You're crazy, man. But I love it.' Dust was still floating down from the ceiling as they swung into the new number. Despite the bombardment Jess had managed to fall asleep, albeit a fitful one. She now came awake feeling something was wrong. Reaching out she groped for Paul who should have been sleeping beside her, only he wasn't there. With a m.u.f.fled oath she threw off her blankets and came onto her knees. Paul glanced round from the side of the entrance to the shelter where he'd been sitting watching the raid. 'It's all right, Mum, I'm here,' he called to her. 'Get back inside this instant,' she commanded. Aw, Mum!' 'Get in!' The moment he obeyed she clapped him round the ear. 'What do you think you're doing?' she scolded, voice shrill with fright. 'Do you want to get yourself killed?' 254 Moonlit Eyes Paul clapped a hand over his ear, taken aback, for it was rare that either Jess or Albert hit him. 'That's sore,' he complained. 'Your backside will be a lot more so if I tell your dad what you did. You stupid child.' 'I wasn't in any harm. Mum. And you should see it out there. The sky's all lit up.' Her fury began to subside. He was safe again, that was all that mattered. 'I don't care what the sky looks like. All I know is it's full of German planes and you were in danger.' Paul was upset because he'd upset Jess. 'I'm sorry,' he mumbled, genuinely contrite. And so you should be.' Suddenly she swept him into her arms and hugged him tight. 'Oh darling,' she whispered, eyes filling with tears. 'I couldn't bear to lose you. It would break my heart.' He didn't reply to that. He didn't think he'd been in danger, but wisely didn't push the point. He was deeply touched by this show of affection from Jess, the love he felt for her swelling within him. Jess released Paul and wiped her eyes. 'Now you get back into bed and never do that again. Understand?' 'Yes, Mum.' 'Good.' She fussed with his blankets, making sure he was nicely tucked in. Bending, she pecked him on the forehead. Jess didn't get another wink of sleep for the rest of that night, her anxiety staying with her and keeping her awake. For the first time in a long while she thought about the baby she'd lost, which had caused her so much pain. 'If this blows we've all had it,' Danny McGiver said to Albert through gritted teeth, the pair of them in charge of a hosepipe pumping water into a small distillery situated in the City Road, a distillery containing huge amounts of alcohol. It had been hit by several incendiaries and was burning fiercely. In a loud clamour of noise more fire engines appeared to a.s.sist, their personnel quickly swinging into action. Elsewhere the police and ARP wardens were busily evacuating the surrounding streets. There was a great whoof of flame from the top of the building that shot a good thirty feet into the air, sparks flying in every direction. Albert winced as a falling red-hot cinder neatly sliced his cheek, blood immediately starting to flow. 'You all right?' Danny asked, having seen what had happened. Albert nodded. 'Want to go off and get it attended to?' 'Don't be daft, Danny. It's only a scratch.' Danny grinned wolfishly, that having been a joke. He knew Albert far better than that. The heat was pummelling Albert, his skin glowing with sweat underneath his tunic and protective gear, his eyes gritty and sore from continued staring into the inferno. He, like Danny and the others from their station, had been on duty for almost eighteen hours. To say they were totally exhausted would have been an understatement. Henry Leway came hurrying over. 'Water supplies are getting low. We're trying to tap into another source but having difficulty as the main access points are buried beneath rubble.' 'Christ,' Albert muttered. If they ran out of water now the building and contents would surely go up, causing utter devastation over G.o.d knew how large an area. The chances were they would also go up with it. 'Who wants to live for ever anyway?' Henry Leway said, and burst out laughing. He was known for his black sense of humour. Albert thought of Jess, Paul and Ellie, then put them quickly out of his mind. He mustn't worry about what-ifs, but continue concentrating on the job in hand. Julius stood at his office window staring out over London, or what was left of it anyway. Miraculously the Emba.s.sy hadn't 256 Moonlit Eyes been hit so far, though many of the buildings round about had. Smoke from a great many smouldering fires was rising skywards, the result of the previous night's raid, the heaviest of the war to date according to what was being said. He couldn't help but wonder if there would be anything left at all of London when this was finally over. Down below people were hurrying to and fro, going about their business as if nothing had happened. You had to admire them, he thought, you just had to. What indomitable spirit. Turning he glanced at the neighbouring empty desk, and smiled. A word in the right place, he'd been in this particular Emba.s.sy far longer than Zwicke after all, and Zwicke had been transferred to another office, without a murmur of complaint or resistance, Zwicke correctly guessing the reason why. On reflection it had probably suited Zwicke just as much as him. As fr- Marvbeth, several times she'd attempted to accost him, once he'd cut her short.

yr. would be, Hazel replied. S- ^ ar round here, highly thought of. ^ i^re for you if you needed them. The xfence meant, but real locals too. Both of Ellie, what a state she'd been in. There had he'd wanted to put his arm round her, rea.s.sure 'Not too clever I'm afraid,' Ellie replied, maneuvering the stretcher round the back of the ambulance. Moments later the stretcher had been slid aboard and Josie had gone in with it. Ellie closed the rear doors, then wiped hair that had come astray off her face. She was dead beat. 'Dad back yet?' Jess shook her head. 'What about you, when can I expect you home?' Ellie shrugged wearily. 'When I appear I suppose. That's all I can say.' Jess understood. Jess's heart sank when she saw Albert's face which was grey, sunk in on itself, and haggard. Almost stumbling to his chair he collapsed into it. 'I heard you were round at the station asking after me,' he said. 'I was worried, Albert.' He attempted a smile. 'In case I was hurt?' Or worse, she thought, giving a shrug. 'Your cheek has been cut.' He explained what had happened, and then told her about the distillery which they'd managed eventually to bring under control without it blowing up. 'I'll put something on that cut,' she declared. 'Don't fuss, woman. I'm fine.' 'But it might get infected. Just let me wash it with antiseptic.'

He sighed. 'On you go then, if it'll keep you happy.' She crossed over to the cupboard where the antiseptic and cotton wool were kept, both usually employed on Paul's various sc.r.a.pes and bruises. Albert grimaced a little when she dabbed his wound. 'Are you hungry?' 'No, we ate from the mobile canteens. All I want is a wash, change of clothes, and then over to The Florence for a few 258 Moonlit Eyes pints. After that it's bed for a couple of hours, I'm on again later.' 'You'd better have a shave as well,' she advised him. 'You're as bristly as an old broom.' Somehow he managed to laugh. 'I'd forgotten about that.' She threw the used cotton wool onto the fire. 'Just how bad was it?' He thought about that. 'As bad as it's been, maybe worse. But we didn't lose anyone, nor was anyone injured. Thank G.o.d.' 'I saw Ellie earlier on, old Ma Jenkins has been taken into hospital with a suspected heart attack. They sent Ellie's ambulance for her.' 'Sorry to hear that about Ma,' he sympathised. 'Ellie all right?' 'Tired, same as you.' Albert rubbed his forehead -- tired wasn't the word for it. And Paul?' 'Out somewhere. Well, with the school shut I can hardly keep him indoors all day. He'll be enjoying himself with his pals, probably playing a game of some sort. They're safe enough during the day when there aren't any planes about, or bombs going off.' 'Fair enough,' Albert murmured. Jess eyed him anxiously. Are you sure you don't want to go straight to bed?' He took a deep breath, then hauled himself aloft. 'Nope. I want those couple of pints. Would you like to come with me?' Jess considered his invitation. 'I'd better not. I should be here when Ellie gets in. And for Paul when he turns up.' Going to Albert she kissed his unscathed cheek. 'You've earned your drink. Get yourself ready and on over there.' Fifteen minutes later he was propping up the bar at The Florence exchanging banter with Hazel. 'You must return to the States, Mom, it's far too dangerous for you here.'

A look of defiance came over Beulah's face. Are you goin'?' 'You know I can't,' Julius protested. 'My job's in London.' 'Then I stays put, you hear? Me and Pee Wee ain't goin nowhere if it means leavin you behind.' She crossed her arms stubbornly across her ma.s.sive bosom. 'But the air raids. Mom, the bombin?' 'h.e.l.l, I ain't worried none about those. Sheet no! It takes more than a mess of German planes to scare Beulah Poston.' Julius had to smile. 'Is that why you hide under the table when an attack's takin' place?' She disregarded that jibe. 'I ain't goin', Julius. And that's that.' He'd known before speaking to her this would be the case, but had felt compelled to try to talk some sense into her. 'There's a boat leavin for Boston in three days, first-cla.s.s accommodation. I can even arrange for you to sit at the Captain's table?' Beulah snorted. Ain't tempted. Not even a little bit. Where you is, I is. OK?' He went to her and took her into his arms. 'You're incorrigible, Mom.' (T 1 I IS? 'Yes you are.' She thought about that. Ts you joshin' me in some way because I don't know what that means?' What a star, he smiled, as he explained it to her. 'Thanks,' Ellie said, accepting a cup of tea from Josie. 'I'm ready for this.' The too.' Ellie glanced at the clock as it chimed, and frowned. Ten o'clock and no raid so far. 'They're late,' she commented. 'Who?' 'Who do you think? The Jerries, of course.' Josie, who'd developed p.r.o.nounced dark bags under her eyes, also glanced at the clock. Before joining the auxiliaries she'd been a shop a.s.sistant in the Co-op. 'Maybe they're not coming tonight?' 260 Moonlit Eyes Ellie sincerely hoped that to be the case. It had been five nights on the trot now since the last time they'd failed to appear due to awful weather conditions over the Channel. Josie yawned. 'I'd love to get my head down.' 'Then why don't you?' There were a number of camp beds laid out at one end of the room where the girls sometimes kipped. They weren't in the least bit comfortable but no one cared a jot about that. The alternative was to doze in one of the available chairs. 'I think I will when I finish my tea.' Two new girls had joined them as replacements for Molly Davis and Pat Halfpenny, taking their predecessors' places in the nightly card game that went on when they weren't out on call. There hadn't been many games played of late. < ellie="" lit="" a="" cigarette,="" thinking="" she="" too="" might="" have="" a="" turn="" on="" one="" of="" the="" camp="" beds="" later="" on.="" she="" was="" about="" to="" say="" so="" to="" josie="" when="" outside="" the="" sirens="" began="" to="" wail.="" 'oh="" well,'="" josie="" sighed="" resignedly.="" 'no="" rest="" for="" the="" wicked.'="" 'chance="" would="" be="" a="" fine="" thing,'="" ellie="" retorted,="" and="" they="" both="" grinned.="" quarter="" of="" an="" hour="" later="" the="" phone="" rang,="" the="" first="" request="" that="" shift="" for="" an="">

'It's only bread and dripping I'm afraid,' Jess apologised to Paul waiting expectantly at the table. His face fell in disappointment. 'But I'm starving. Mum!' 'I'm hungry too so you're not alone,' she snapped in reply, ashamed that was all she could give the boy for his tea. Between rationing, and the price of food going through the roof, she was at her wits' end. 'My stomach's rumbling,' he complained. She was beginning to get angry now, as much with herself as him. She could always have gone next door to see if she could scrounge something from Beulah, but her pride wouldn't let her do that. If it was offered, well that was one thing, but to ask quite another. She was enough in the black woman's debt as it was. Thank G.o.d Albert and Ellie were able to get something from the mobile canteens when they were on call. She placed two slices of bread and dripping in front of Paul. 'There you are.' He eyed it with distaste, not really liking bread and dripping as his mother knew only too well. Are you sure there's nothing else?' he asked in a small voice. She fixed him with a beady glare. 'No, there isn't. And just be thankful there's that, me lad.' He bowed his head. 'Yes, Mum.' What Jess didn't tell Paul was that those were the last two slices of bread in the house. She was having to do without. Jess, clad only in her underwear, stared at herself in the wardrobe mirror. If she'd ever moaned on about carrying too much weight, then she certainly wasn't now. She was skinny as a rake, her ribs protruding in places. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, which Albert loved so much, were reduced to half the size they'd been. It filled her with despair. 'What are you doing?' Albert queried groggily from the bed, having just woken. She picked up and slipped on her dressing gown. 'Nothing.' 'You were gawping at yourself in the mirror. That's most unlike you.' She went over and sat beside him on the bed. 'I really shouldn't say anything, you and Ellie are the ones at the sharp end of all this, but I've been awfully down recently, Albert. It just seems to be getting on top of me. The bombing, the food situation, the incessant worry.' 'Oh Jess,' he whispered, reaching out and taking her hand. 'I see so little of you nowadays. You're nearly always on duty, and when you are home you're invariably asleep.' She attempted a brave smile at seeing the concern on his face. 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. You've got enough on your plate as it is.' He pulled himself into a sitting position and drew her to 262 Moonlit Eyes him. 'This can't last for ever, Jess, it must end one day. And when that happens we'll get back to normal, things will be just as they were. I promise you.' How safe she felt in his arms, she thought. A warm sense of peace started to steal over her. Albert began to gently rock her to and fro, wishing with all his heart he didn't have to shortly return to work. But he had to, there was a war on and he was needed. 'This is nice,' she whispered. He stroked her hair, she closing her eyes in appreciation. 'I'm glad I married you, Albert Sykes. They don't come any better.' And I'm glad I married you. We've both been lucky.' She couldn't have agreed more. 'Why don't you come under the sheets and we'll cuddle up?' he suggested. She didn't need any urging, moments later they were wrapped around one another. Just like Hansel and Gretel, she thought dreamily, lost in the woods, but having each other. They remained like that until it was time for Albert to get up and go back to the station. Paul couldn't believe his eyes. What had been a warehouse was now in ruins, but there, right in the middle ofwhat remained of the building, clearly visible, was part of the fuselage from a downed German plane. And on the remnant of fuselage, small enough for him to pick up and carry, were Luftwaffe markings. Wait till he showed this to Eddy and the others, they'd be green with envy. Spitting with it. He laughed aloud as he hurriedly made for what would be a prize souvenir, far better than anything any of the other lads possessed. There were clumps of smouldering debris everywhere, and in places small fires that had started up again after the initial blaze had been put out. Paul paid no attention to any of this as he made straight for the coveted section of fuselage. Reaching the fuselage he attempted to pick it up, having to struggle as it was heavier than he'd antic.i.p.ated. He was still struggling with it when live cannon sh.e.l.ls from the stricken plane, lying buried in the smouldering and burning debris, went off. Three of the exploding sh.e.l.ls. .h.i.t Paul squarely in the back. 264

Chapter 20

That's the last one gone,' Albert declared, rejoining Jess and Ellie in their kitchen. Paul had been buried several hours earlier in Highgate Cemetery, many friends, neighbours and school chums of Paul's there to pay their respects. Afterwards quite a few of them had come back to the house. Albert now poured himself the last of the scotch, two bottles of which had been donated by Julius. Everyone had rallied round in this time of shortages; margarine, meat and cakes, not to mention bread, donated so that the wake* could be done properly. The Postons' contribution was the largest of all thanks to their Emba.s.sy connection. Jess was sitting staring blankly into s.p.a.ce, her face red raw from crying, Ellie in another chair, curled up in a foetal ball. Albert bit his lip, unsure of what to do or say next. He was in just as much shock as Jess and Ellie, but was handling it better. It had been PC McKechnie who'd broken the news, a.s.suring Jess, in that kindly way of his, that Paul had been killed outright and wouldn't have felt a thing. That had been some consolation at least. Jess shook her head. 'I still can't really take it on board,' she husked, her voice cracked and shredded from the outpourings of grief. 'I keep expecting him to walk through that door asking what's to eat as he's starving. He was always that.' Ellie sobbed and buried a clenched fist in her mouth. 'I got angry with him the day before because all I had for his tea was bread and dripping and he complained, but it was all we had. I'll never forgive myself for that. Never. His last full day on earth and I got angry with him.' 'Stop it, Jess,' Albert said, a choke now in his own voice. Jess looked at him, her eyes terrible to see. 'He was a lovely lad, wasn't he, Albert?' Albert nodded. 'I was so proud of him. A little scamp at times, but so proud of him. Since it happened I keep wondering what he would have been if he'd grown up?' Albert swallowed the contents of his gla.s.s, shuddering as it went down. 'He wanted to be an engine driver,' Ellie suddenly stated. 'He told me that once.' Albert smiled wryly. 'Most boys his age want to be that. It's one of those things.' 'I also keep wondering what his wife and children would have been like?' Jess said dully. 'Now I'll never know.' Ellie stood up, she couldn't bear any more of this. 'I'm going to my room,' she declared. 'Are you all right?' Albert queried. Of course she wasn't. She kept remembering all the times she'd been horrible to her brother. Downright nasty on occasion. Though, she reminded herself, caring and loving on others. He'd been such an irritating little sod sometimes, especially where food was concerned. No angel either, considering some of the things he'd done to her, 'I just want to be on my own for a while, Dad. Today's been . . .' She groped for a suitable word. 'Draining.' 'On you go then.' 'Don't call me for anything. I'll come back down when I'm ready.' 266 Moonlit Eyes He wished there was more scotch, gallons of the stuff. 'Right, we won't.' Jess took out a handkerchief that was already sodden and wiped her nose. She'd never been so mentally battered and bruised in her entire life, not even after losing the baby. She hadn't known the baby, whereas she'd given birth to Paul, brought him up, been through all the trials and tribulations of childhood with him. Loved him as you can only love your own flesh and blood. 'Would you like a cup of tea?' Albert asked. 'There's bound to be some left in the pot.' Jess shook her head. 'I'm awash with tea as it is.' 'Can I get you anything else then?' She looked at him, the tears having returned. 'Can you bring my son back to me?' Albert had no answer to that. None at all. 'What was it like?' Hazel asked Julius as he came up to the bar. His brown eyes were soulful. Awful, Hazel. Simply awful.' 'How are Jess and Albert?' He shrugged. As you'd expect, I guess. The pair of them must be going through absolute h.e.l.l.' She made a sympathetic face. 'Pint?' Any Ba.s.s?' 'Sorry, we're out.' 'Then a pint of whatever.' Hazel picked up a gla.s.s and began to pour. 'Was it a good turn-out at the service?' 'Certainly lots of people there.' 'I would have imagined there would be,' Hazel replied. Albert and Jess are very popular round here, highly thought of. The sort who'd always be there for you if you needed them. The salt of the earth. No offence meant, but real locals too. Both born and bred Islingtonians.' Julius thought of Ellie, what a state she'd been in. There had been times when he'd wanted to put his arm round her, rea.s.sure her. Though what he could rea.s.sure her about he didn't know. Just be a friend, he supposed. 'Are you going back to work?' Hazel inquired, making conversation.

'No, I've taken the day off. Thought that best.' 'There you are,' Hazel declared, placing his drink in front of him. 'The way things are going there might not be any beer left come the end of the week. It's that bad.' At which point they were interrupted by PC McKechnie coming into the pub. 'h.e.l.lo, Haze, how are you?' 'Tiptop, Dougal, and yourself?' 'Looking for someone. Taffy Roberts hasn't been in, has he?' Hazel shook her head. "Fraid not. Why?' McKechnie laid his helmet on the bar and ran fingers through his sandy-coloured hair. 'He's done a runner from the Army Gone AWOL.' Hazel laughed. 'Well, there's a surprise! I was amazed he joined in the first place.' 'He didn't join,' McKechnie corrected her. 'He was conscripted. And then only after I had a word with him and threatened jail if he didn't report in.' 'Lying b.a.s.t.a.r.d,' Hazel said contemptuously. 'Not you, Dougal, Taffy. He told everyone here he'd joined up. Made a big thing about it too. Was strutting all round the bar in his uniform.' McKechnie nodded to Julius. 'How are you?' 'Fine, officer, thank you.' At the funeral?' 'Yes, I was.' 'How did it go?' As funerals do. A lot of sadness, a lot of cry-in'. A lot of pain and grief McKechnie sighed. 'Rotten business. It was me who broke the news to Jess.' He paused for a brief second. 'You know, no matter how long I'm in this job that sort of thing never gets any easier, especially when you know the people involved. It's even worse when it's a child.' 268 Moonlit Eyes Julius could well imagine. 'So much death about nowadays,' McKechnie went on. 'It's everywhere, round every corner. Did you know old Ma Jenkins has gone? Pa.s.sed away yesterday.' 'I heard,' Hazel nodded. 'Grand old woman. She's another who'll be missed.' Aye,' McKechnie agreed softly. 'I used to call in on her from time to time to see she was all right. Never left without having had a cup of tea and piece of cake. Made lovely Dundee cake too, my favourite.' He cleared his throat. 'There's a new family moving into her house from up Canonbury way. They've been bombed out so the Council has given them Mas place.' 'That wasn't empty long,' Hazel commented cynically. 'It's the times we live in, Haze. The times we live in.' Hazel looked at Julius, then back at McKechnie. 'Will you have a dram while you're here, Dougal?' That surprised Julius, spirits hadn't been available in the pub for weeks now. 'How kind of you, Haze. I will.' 'You just wait there then.' And with that she hurried away. 'Had any more trouble recently?' McKechnie inquired of Julius, referring to the incident when Julius had been attacked by the three squaddies. 'None at all, I'm happy to say.' McKechnie grunted. 'That's good. You and your family are a bit of a rarity round here, you understand. Though it wasn't the locals who gave you bother. If any do, or try to, they'll hear from me quickly enough. I'm a foreigner here myself don't forget, I understand these things.' Julius was impressed to hear that. 'Thank you, officer.' Hazel reappeared carrying a huge gla.s.s of scotch. 'Get that down you, Dougal, it'll warm the c.o.c.kles.' He eyed the drink appreciatively. 'It will indeed. Haze. G.o.d bless you. They made small talk for a while longer, McKechnie finally leaving with the promise that either Hazel or Harry would be in touch if Taffy was spotted in the neighbourhood or came into the pub. 'You never saw that,' Hazel stated emphatically when McKechnie had gone. Julius feigned innocence. 'Saw what? I've no idea what you're talkin' about.' Hazel smiled. 'That's the idea. It's best to keep the police sweet, a good rule for any landlord and landlady. And in case you're wondering, we do have a few bottles of spirits on the premises. But for private consumption only. Not to be sold. Understand?' 'Perfectly.' 'Right then, another pint?' He drained his gla.s.s. 'I'd better before you run out of beer too.' 'Let's pray it doesn't come to that.' 'Amen,' Julius concurred. While Julius was in the pub Beulah and Pee Wee were discussing the situation with the Sykeses. 'I think I'll go round and see Jess later,' Beulah said. 'Maybe I can be of further help.' 'I wouldn't do that, hon,' Pee Wee counselled. 'Let them be, for today anyway. I'm sure they don't want no outsiders, no matter how well-meanin, b.u.t.tin in right now. They'll want to be by themselves.' 'Reckon?' He nodded. 'We done everythin we can for now. If they wants somethin more they'll come knockin. At least that's how I sees it.' Beulah thought that was probably good advice. She'd call round next morning and find out what was what. 'He was such a nice kid too,' she mused. 'd.a.m.n shame.' Pee Wee recalled Albert and Jess's faces at the graveside, two broken people if ever there were. He'd later spoken briefly to Albert, but what could you really say? Nothing. Words were 270 Moonlit Eyes empty at a time like that, but better spoken nonetheless. 'I keep thinkin'. . .' Beulah trailed off, her expression stricken. 'What, hon?' 'Julius and Diane and baby Bradley. What I'd be like if any thin' ever happened to one of them.' Diane was Julius's elder sister, Bradley her son. 'Yeah,' Pee Wee agreed softly. It didn't bear thinking about. When Julius returned from the pub he couldn't understand why Beulah made such a fuss of him, and continued doing so for the rest of that day. Jess's visits to the graveside had become a daily ritual. Every morning she caught the bus to Highgate, returning usually just before noon. She was there now, staring at Paul's grave, the flowers adorning it withered and dead as he was. She knew she should remove the flowers and put them in the bin provided, but couldn't bring herself to do so. Albert didn't approve of these visits, saying she was only torturing herself. And maybe she was, but come she had to. She blamed herself for Paul's death. If only she'd left him in Devon with the Sellys he'd still be alive. But no, she'd had to go and bring him home. It was no use reminding herself how unhappy he'd been at High Barton, that was hardly relevant now. An unhappy Paul far better than a dead one. Jess groped for her handkerchief, and wiped her eyes. She'd already been standing there half an hour during which it had rained twice, but that didn't matter. It could have been a thunder or snow storm for all she cared. What was important was that she was with her son, her beloved boy, whom she missed so much it was mentally crucifying her. Not only had she brought him back from Devon but had been against it when the authorities had wished to re-evacuate him, wanting to keep him with her. Selfish, that's what she'd been, utterly selfish. And this was the result. A dead child and she with her heart broken. If only she could turn the clock back. If only she'd never gone to Devon. If only she'd insisted he be re-evacuated. For her, the two most painful and agonising words in the world right then. If only . . . Jess got wearily out of her chair when the sirens sounded, the ninth night in a row they'd wailed their warning that yet another raid was about to take place. Would it never end? Crossing to the fireplace she picked up the small, framed photograph of Paul, the only one she possessed. For a moment she held it to her bosom and closed her eyes, then gathered up the rest of the things she'd be taking to the shelter. 'Ellie?' 'h.e.l.lo, Julius.' 'I thought that was you.' He got out of the car and closed his door. 'It's so difficult to see anything, or anyone, in this black-out. People are just shapes moving in the darkness.' She laughed. 'Spooky, isn't it?' He turned up the collar of his coat, for it was wild and bl.u.s.tery. 'Shouldn't you be on duty at this time?' he queried with a frown. 'I'm on days for the next fortnight. I think they thought I needed a bit of a rest after . . .' She trailed off and bit her lip. 'Paul?' She nodded. 'How are your mom and dad? I haven't seen either of them for a while.' Ellie shrugged. 'Trying to cope. Getting on with it. It isn't easy for them.' 'Or you,' he added softly. 'No,' she agreed. 'But it's worse for them, particularly Mum. She really took it badly.' 272 Moonlit Eyes Julius glanced at the sky. 'I hope this weather keeps up. It's been over a week now since the last raid.' 'A welcome respite,' she smiled. 'The forecast is awful I'm happy to say' He had a sudden thought. 'Listen, what are you doin' after you've eaten?' She wondered why he'd asked that. 'Nothing much. Listen to the wireless I suppose. Do some ironing for Mum.' "well, I've got a better idea. Why don't we go to The Florence for a drink? Far more excitin', don't you think?' She couldn't disagree. It would be good to get out and enjoy herself for a bit, have a break. All right,' 'Fine then. It's a date.' For some reason those words sent a thrill through her. Of course it wasn't a date in that sense, she knew that. It was only his way of saying meeting up. 'What time?' Then he remembered the state of affairs at The Florence, no spirits. 'I've had a better thought,' he declared. 'Instead of the pub why don't you come to our house? At least there I can offer you some gin.' She couldn't see why not. It was better than drinking beer which she didn't really like. As I said, what time?' He thought about that. 'Eight?' 'Suits me.' That gives you time to eat and get sorted out. Me too.' 'Eight then.' Julius found himself whistling as he went inside. He was looking forward to this. Im afraid Mom's out,' he declared, ushering Ellie into the lounge. 'She decided to take advantage of the raids being stopped and go into the club with Dad. I hope you don't mind that there's only the two of us.' Not in the least.' She nearly said, I presume I will be safe? "Ut decided not to. It would only have been a tease anyway. Of course she was safe. Julius had no interest in her that way.

'By the by, there's somethin for you on that chair there,' he said, pointing. Ellie went to the chair and picked up the carton of cigarettes lying on it. 'You really are terribly good to me, Julius. Thank you.' 'Only being neighbourly.' She'd been a little tense before knocking on the door, but somehow he'd almost instantly put her at her ease. She now felt completely relaxed. Julius waggled a gla.s.s in her direction. 'I've already started so you've got some catchin' up to do. Now make yourself comfortable while I pour you a drink.' She sank into the chair the cigarettes had been on and gazed around. She hadn't been in this room since the Postons had arrived and invited the family in for a meal. That seemed a lifetime ago considering all that had happened since. 'Tonic water as well!' she laughed. 'You are organised. All mod cons, I must say.' 'As usual, compliments of the Emba.s.sy. Uncle Sam looks after his own.' 'Hmmh!' she grunted in appreciation on tasting the G&T he handed her. 'This is strong.' 'Complainin'?' She shook her head. 'Don't be daft. It's wonderful.' Julius went to the sofa, kicked off his loafers and sat with his legs along the cushions. 'So, how'ya been?' 'If you mean work, not too hectic. It'll liven up once the bombing starts again as it's bound to.' He indicated. 'There's an ashtray there if you want to smoke.' 'What about you?' 'In a minute or two.' What large feet he had, she noticed. Then flushed, remembering something she'd heard about men with large feet. 'What's wrong?' 'Nothing.' 'Sure? You went kind of pink all of a sudden.' 274 Moonlit Eyes She couldn't meet his gaze. 'There's no reason,' she lied. It had been Connie Fox who'd told her about men with large feet. Connie whom she hadn't seen since joining the auxiliaries. She made a mental note to try to get in touch. 'What's the latest between you and your girlfriend?' Ellie asked. 'The last time we spoke properly she was trying to get you to marry her.' The smile vanished from Julius's face. 'We broke up. I don't take her out any more.' 'Oh?' He wondered if he should tell Ellie the reason why he'd broken with Marybeth, then thought the better of it. That was a bit too personal. 'I just decided to call it quits while I was ahead,' he said instead. That pleased Ellie, though she couldn't think why. It was none other business. 'Do you miss her?' He considered his answer before replying. 'Some aspects of our relationship. But generally speakin', no.' Ellie understood what he meant by that. He missed going to bed with Marybeth. How like a man, she thought a trifle prudishly. 'So is there anyone new?' 'What is this, Ellie, the Spanish Inquisition?' This time she went bright red. 'Sorry. I wasn't being nosey. I'm genuinely interested. As a friend.' He had a long, satisfying gulp of bourbon. 'Well, there isn't. I'm a free agent again. What about you?' She laughed. 'When do I have a chance to meet anyone? I'm either at work or home, with nothing in-between.' 'There must be guys in the ambulance station?' That amused her. 'Two of them, both retired. Somewhere in their late sixties I should imagine. We're auxiliaries, don't forget.'

He could understand her amus.e.m.e.nt. 'A little old for you, eh?' 'Just a little,' she agreed.

'Too bad,' he said. 'A good-lookin' doll like you shouldn't be without a gentleman caller.' Doll! She'd never been called that before. As for 'gentleman caller', how quaint. It gave her a warm glow to think he considered her good-looking. Unless he was merely being polite of course. She couldn't tell from his expression whether or not that was the case. She recrossed her legs, feeling one of them catch something on the chair as she did. 'd.a.m.n!' she swore when a quick examination revealed she'd snagged a stocking causing a ladder. 'What's wrong?' She explained. And it's the last pair I've got too. They're not to be had in the shops for love nor money.' Julius came over and had a look at the offending chair, a small nail that had partially worked loose being the culprit. 'I'll fix that right away,' he declared, and hurried from the room, returning almost immediately with a hammer. A couple of taps did the trick. 'Sorry about that,' he apologised. Ellie made a face. 'Hardly your fault. It was an accident.' 'Caused by our chair,' he pointed out. 'At least let me make amends. A dozen or so pair of nylons should be adequate compensation, wouldn't you say?' Ellie gasped. 'Nylons! A dozen pairs!' Her eyes were shining. 'Can you really manage that?' 'Sure. It's not a problem. I'll have them for you as soon as I can.' 'Oh Julius!' she breathed. 'That would be fantastic. I'm not exaggerating when I told you they're like gold dust round here. And nylons are absolutely impossible to get hold of. If you do get lucky the stockings are lisle like I'm wearing. Horrid things really.' It pleased him to see how delighted she was; he made a mental note to sort out the nylons first thing in the morning on arrival at the Emba.s.sy. 'Let me freshen your gla.s.s, it's empty,' he declared. 'Not too much. I don't want to get tiddly.' 276Moonlit Eyes When he'd refilled her gla.s.s, and his own, he produced a cigar, one of a new batch recently arrived from Cuba, clipped it and lit up. 'Would you like to hear some music?' he asked. 'We have a Victrola and a great many records. Some of them featuring my dad.' 'That would be lovely,' she exclaimed, realising that a Victrola was what she knew as a gramophone. Julius replaced the needle before winding up the machine and putting on the first record. 'Let's try this for size, eh? It's one of my dad's called "Moonlit Eyes".' The alcohol was beginning to take effect, she thought, as the music, a ballad, wafted dreamily over her. 'What do you think, Ellie?' 'I like it, very much.' He beamed approval. How much better than the music played at the Poxy Roxy, she reflected. No comparison at all. 'Care to dance?' She'd closed her eyes for a few moments in appreciation, now she opened them again. 'I'm not very good,' she confessed, suddenly all shy and coy. 'Neither am I, so that makes us even.' He lifted the arm of the Victrola and placed it back at the beginning of the record. 'Shall we?' It didn't take her long to realise he'd been lying to be kind, he could dance all right, beautifully so. He reminded her of a big black panther, she thought, as they moved round the carpet, she drinking in the smell of the cologne he was wearing, unused to men who used such a thing. When the record was finished she asked if it could be played again, she liked it so much. A smiling Julius complied. Ellie found Jess asleep in the kitchen with a blanket draped over her lap. She was holding the photograph of Paul clutched in both hands.

Ellie stared at her mother who looked so settled and comfortable. Wake her or leave her as she was? In the end Ellie decided to leave her. Going upstairs she thought about what a wonderful evening she'd had with Julius, it couldn't have gone better. They'd talked about all sorts, her life, his life, experiences they'd had, a whole range of topics. They'd also drunk a lot -- too much really, she hoped she wouldn't regret it in the morning -- laughed, danced and told jokes. The time had simply flown past. 'Moonlit Eyes,' she murmured as she undressed, and smiled. None of the other records he'd played had been a patch on that. Somehow its haunting melody was special. Just like the evening itself. 278

Chapter 21

Albert laid aside the book he'd been reading, and yawned. So far the shift had been uneventful and he hoped it continued that way. The recent air raids had been sporadic, sometimes the Luftwaffe came, sometimes not. There was no distinguishable pattern to it. 'I've been meaning to ask,' Danny McGiver, sitting opposite, said. 'How's Jess?' Albert stared at his friend and colleague, thinking about his answer. 'Not so good I'm afraid,' he eventuallyreplied. Danny nodded. 'Understandable I suppose. It must be a terrible thing to lose a child.' Adding when he saw the look that came over Albert's face, 'For both of you.' 'Yes,' Albert agreed softly. At least I have my work to keep me busy, take my mind off it. Jess just sits at home and constantly broods. I know she tries to hide the fact, but she cries a lot when Ellie and I aren't there. And every morning it's the same, a trip to the cemetery to visit the grave.' 'Poor cow,' Danny whispered. 'The trouble is she blames herself for Paul's death. I've told her that's nonsense but she'll have none of it. She's convinced she's at fault and that's that.' 'Can't the doctor do something? Give her pills or whatever?'

'He might if she'd go and see him, but she won't. She says the doctor can't help what's wrong with her.' Albert sighed. 'If it wasn't for the war I'd take her away on holiday. A week in Brighton perhaps, that might buck her up somewhat.' He smiled cynically. 'There again, if it wasn't for the war Paul would still be alive and the holiday wouldn't be necessary.'

Danny shook his head. 'I sometimes think this is going to go on for ever, that it'll never end- But of course it will, one way or the other, eventually. Has to.' 'She's also losing weight,' Albert went on. "Well we all are, what with rationing and shortages, but Jess more than others. She's skin and bone, which breaks my heart.' 'She had a lovely figure too,' Danny sympathised. 'I always admired her for that. A real bobby dazzler.' Albert smiled in memory. 'You should have seen her when I married her, Danny, a stunner if ever there was. I was the envy of nearly every bloke I knew. Now she's more like a scarecrow than anything else.' 'Christ, I'm sorry,' Danny murmured. 'Her face has gone quite haggard and lined, pasty with it. I swear she looks ten or fifteen years older than she did.' Danny was lost for words, he simply didn't know what to reply to that. Albert thought of his own grief, the hurt almost unbearable at times. Again and again pictures of Paul would flash through his mind. Paul playing, laughing, Paul as a baby with Jess changing his nappies, having him at the breast. He loved Ellie of course, but Paul had been different in that Paul had been his son. Nor would there ever be another boy child to replace Paul. 'How about a cup of tea?' Danny queried, and winked. 'I've got a couple of digestives in my box, so we can have one each.' 'Grand,' Albert tried to enthuse. A biscuit, and sort, was a treat nowadays. 280 Moonlit Eyes 'Shan't be long,' Danny declared, rising from his chair. Albert watched Dannys retreating back, but in his mind he was still thinking about, and remembering, Paul. His son. The fire had been extensive, but was now under control. This was the sixth trip Ellie and Josie Farnham had made to the scene, currently waiting to ensure the last of the casualties had been removed, at which point they'd return to the station to be in readiness for any further callouts. Ellie had spotted the mobile canteen earlier during one other previous visits, and now decided to avail herself of it while she had the time. 'I'll catch up with you in a few moments,' Josie replied when Ellie told her what she intended. 'I have to find somewhere for a crafty pee. I'm bursting.' Ellie smiled. 'You do that.' The canteen was manned by the WVS, the Women's Voluntary Service, a solitary member now serving. When she arrived Ellie found herself to be the only one waiting. A cup of tea and something to eat please,' she asked the woman who had her back to her. Ellie had a shock when the woman turned round. Dear G.o.d, she thought. 'h.e.l.lo, Miss Sykes, how are you?' Miss Oates asked, the face as stern as ever. Ellie was further taken aback that Miss Oates had recognised her so easily as she was in full protective gear with her face filthy and dirt-streaked. As though reading her mind Miss Oates said, 'Your voice, Miss Sykes, I never forget a voice.' Ellie swallowed hard, quite thrown to suddenly find herself in the company of her old boss and enemy. Tm fine, thank you.' Miss Oates regarded her keenly. 'Well, you don't look fine. I'd say you were totally knackered.'

Ellie's jaw literally fell open to hear Miss Oates use such language. It was beyond belief. 'I suppose I am,' she eventually mumbled. 'Not surprised in that job. I admire you for doing it. Miss Sykes. Yes indeed.' Was there no end of surprises? Ellie watched as Miss Oates poured her a cuppa and then placed a sandwich and bun on a plate. 'These buns are fresh baked this morning. They're nice and tasty, couldn't have made better myself,' Miss Oates declared, placing the tea and plate on the canteen counter. 'Thank you.' Ellie blew on the tea which was scalding hot, then started on the sandwich, wolfing it down as she was ravenously hungry. 'I ran into a friend of yours the other day,' Miss Oates informed her. 'Oh?' 'Miss Fox. She left the office shortly after you, but you probably know that.' Ellie shook her head. 'I didn't.' 'There's hardly anyone there now,' Miss Oates stated. 'Reduced to a skeleton staff. Just enough to keep business ticking over. The others are all off doing war work. In Miss Fox's case she's taken over a milk round she said.' 'A milk round?' Ellie found that incredible, unable to imagine Connie driving a horse and cart. 'Releases a man for the Forces you see. Told me she was enjoying it. Loves being out in the fresh air.' 'So how is she?' Ellie asked. 'Happy as a pig in the proverbial. Took up with a new chap just before she left and, according to her, the pair of them are getting along famously. A seaman, I believe. Well, good luck to them I say. I hope it works out.' Ellie vaguely remembered something about Connie possibly having a new boyfriend just before she herself had left the office, but as she recalled Connie had denied it at the time. She guessed Connie had done so because she and this seaman had 282 Moonlit Eyes only recently met up and she hadn't wanted to look foolish if it hadn't lasted, been a flash in the pan so to speak. She could well understand that. Ellie tried her tea again which was now drinkable, and then had a bite other bun. As Miss Oates had said, it was delicious. A middle-aged ARP warden came strolling over. 'Evening, Beryl, how are tricks?' The stern expression vanished to be replaced by a broad smile. 'h.e.l.lo, Stanley. Wondered if you'd be around.' 'Here I am, in all me glory.' Beryl? Ellie had never known what Miss Oates' Christian name was, and would certainly never have guessed something as common as Beryl. In other circ.u.mstances she would have laughed. 'Tea and two sugars is it?' Miss Oates queried winsomely. b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l! Ellie thought. Miss Oates was actually flirting with this Stanley. She simply couldn't believe it. 'That's right, ducks. Two sugars it is. If you can spare that amount.' Miss Oates winked. 'Anything for you, Stanley. You know that.' Stanley laughed, then turned to Ellie. 'Do you belong to that vehicle over there?' he inquired, pointing. A stunned Ellie nodded. 'Well, you've got the all clear. No more casualties, that's been confirmed now.' 'Thank you.' Ellie finished her bun and tea while Miss Oates and Stanley chatted, then, having said goodbye, went in search of Josie who she presumed was having difficulty rinding a secluded spot. Talk about a turn-up for the book! Beryl, she thought, and this time did laugh. Ah> there you are. Please sit down,' Station Officer t.i.tmuss said, indicating the chair in front other desk.

Ellie, who'd been summoned to see the SO, was wondering what this was all about. For the life of her she couldn't think of anything she'd done wrong. 'Thank you.' SO t.i.tmuss regarded Ellie kindly. 'What would you say to a spot of promotion, Ellie? I'd like to make you up to DSO.' That meant Deputy Station Officer. Ellie was flabbergasted, she'd never imagined this to be on the cards. 'Why me?' she queried. 'Because you're a born leader and all the other girls look up to you. You're a natural choice for the job.' Ellie tried to digest that, having been completely unaware she was held in such esteem by the others. 'What about DSO Winterbottom?' she asked. Alice Winterbottom was the current DSO. 'Alice is also in for promotion. She's taking over a new station being opened in the Ball's Pond Road. So her post is falling vacant as from the first of the month, and I'd like you to a.s.sume her duties. It means a little extra money of course, which always comes in handy.' Ellie thought about that. It would mean she wouldn't be out in the ambulances as often as before, paperwork being the new priority. And lots of it. 'Well?' SO t.i.tmuss prompted. Ellie made a decision. Why not? Anyway, she rather fancied the idea of wearing two stripes on her arm. And as the SO said, extra money would be useful, her mother would certainly welcome it. 'Thank you, I accept.' SO t.i.tmuss beamed. 'Good girl. Well done. Congratulations.' Rising, she came round her desk and shook Ellie warmly by the hand, Ellie having also risen. Josie Farnham wasn't best pleased when told the news as it meant she'd have a new partner, she and Ellie having become close during their time together. More importantly, they both got on terribly well. Ellie found herself looking forward to her new duties, even if they wouldn't be quite as exciting as what she now did. 284 Moonlit Eyes Maybe less exciting, but also less dangerous she reminded herself. Which, if she was honest, was something of a relief. The date was May 10, 1941, and if Londoners thought they'd been through the worst of the Blitz, that it couldn't possibly get worse than it had been, then that night proved them horribly wrong. Later it would be called the night that nearly took the heart out of London. The news slowly filtering through to the battling firemen was one of terrible carnage. The Chamber of the House of Commons had been reduced to rubble, the Lords' Chamber having also been hit, as had Big Ben, though that was still standing. The roof of Westminster Hall was ablaze, while the square tower at Westminster Abbey had fallen in. Miraculously, although surrounded by fires, St Paul's remained intact. The number of dead, dying and casualties didn't bear thinking about. All the services, including the Fire Brigade, were stretched to the limit, and beyond. Henry Leway staggered up to Albert, having to shout to be heard above the roar of flames and crackle of burning buildings. 'We haven't a hope in h.e.l.l of controlling this lot,' he gasped. 'We'll just have to,' Albert snapped in reply. Henry shook his head. 'It's impossible, I tell you.' Albert paused to stare at his colleague. Henry was on the point of breaking he realised. 'Get a grip of yourself. Henry, for Christsake!' he shouted. To Albert's amazement Henry started to cry, tears rolling down his soot-blackened face. 'I've had enough. Can't take any more. Too much. Too much.' Albert let go of the hosepipe he was holding and slapped Henry hard causing him to cry out. 'Stop snivelling like a child and get on with it,' Albert bellowed. 'We need every man we've got and you're one of the best. Don't let us down now. Don't let the public down, they're relying on us. All of London is relying n us tonight.' By that he meant the entire Fire Brigade. Henry blinked several times, then ran a hand across his face.

Taking a deep breath he straightened himself. 'Sorry, Albert,' he apologised. 'I don't know what came over me.' 'Are you all right now?' Henry nodded. Albert gripped and squeezed his arm. 'Good chap. Let's just forget this, eh?' 'Thanks.' Turning, Henry hurried away. 'Gas!' someone yelled a little later. 'Gas escape!' Oh my G.o.d! Albert thought. He couldn't smell anything, but that was hardly likely in the smoke-laden atmosphere that was also heavily polluted by the many combined odours from all manner of burning things. Seconds later the gas ignited sending a searing ball of flame billowing in all directions. Albert was lifted off his feet and thrown backwards to land with a jarring thump which knocked the breath out of him, leaving him dizzy and dazed. He slowly became aware of Henry Leway by his side. Are you hurt, Albert?' He gingerly felt himself all over. 'Don't think so.' 'Then try and sit up.' Albert hesitantly brought himself into an upright position to stare at the roaring gas escape. From the size and intensity of it he guessed a main had been breached. 'That has to be turned off,' he croaked. 'I know.' 'Then get to it. I'll be with you in a moment.' 'Right,' Henry declared, and dashed away. Albert pulled himself to his feet where he swayed slightly. He had to hold a hand across his face to ward off the intense heat which was already blistering his skin. 'Over here!' someone shouted. 'Unconscious fireman!' People were milling everywhere, like ants in a heap, all trying to do something specific connected with their job. Albert wondered who the fireman was. One of theirs or from another station? He made his way over as an ambulance crew appeared carrying 286 Moonlit Eyes stretcher between them. Alberts heart sank when he reached the prostrate figure to see it was Danny McGiver. Instantly he was kneeling alongside Danny feeling for a neck nulse swearing beneath his breath when he couldn't find one. Before he could try another point the ambulance chaps, regular service and not auxiliaries like Ellie's lot, were also there doing a quick examination. 'Can't tell if he's dead or not,' the older of the two shouted to Albert. 'He a friend of yours?' Albert nodded. 'We'll get him straight to hospital where he can be dealt with.' Albert watched numbly as Danny, one arm trailing over the side, was stretchered away. Not Danny, he thought in despair. Please G.o.d, not Danny. Then he turned his attention again to what had to be done. It was another half an hour before the gas main had been turned off and that particular fire extinguished. Jess came out of the cemetery gates and crossed over to the bus stop where no one else was waiting. Twenty minutes later a bus still hadn't appeared, which didn't surprise her after the previous nights terrible raid. The buses could hardly be expected to run to schedule after that. She'd been lucky on the way there having caught one almost immediately. Then the idea came to her. Why not walk home? It was an awful long way, miles, and would take her ages, but the more she thought about it the more determined she became that's what she'd do. A sort of punishment, she told herself grimly. A small penance for Paul's death which had been all her fault. She started off knowing it would probably take her a while. no matter what, no matter how many buses pa.s.sed her, it was a journey she was going to complete. A small penance, she thought again. * *

Albert knocked on Danny's door. He was done in, almost dropping from exhaustion, having just come off his longest shift ever. On returning to the station it was to be told that Danny wasn't seriously hurt and was now home. 'How is he?' Albert asked Danny's wife Vera when she answered his knock. 'Come in and see for yourself. He's in bed.' Albert followed Vera through to where Danny was. 'h.e.l.lo, mate,' Danny whispered by way of greeting. The upper part of Danny's head was swathed in bandages which ended just above his ears. There was no sign of blood on them, a relieved Albert noted. 'Some people will do anything to skive off,' Albert joked. Danny attempted a smile, and winced. That hadn't been a good idea. 'As if.' 'He discharged himself, you know,' Vera stated disapprovingly. 'They wanted to keep him in for forty-eight hours for observation.' 'Now don't start again,' Danny chided. 'I explained, they needed the bed for someone worse off than me. Best I was home anyway, you're a far better nurse than any they have at the hospital.' Vera wagged a finger at him. 'Don't you try and soft-soap me, Danny McGiver. It won't work, you hear?' 'Yes, dear,' he replied meekly, knowing full well, despite what she'd said, Vera would have been delighted to be told that. Anyway, in a way it was true. 'Cup of tea, Albert?' Vera asked. 'Please. Good and strong. The sort you can stand a spoon up in. 'Coming right away.' 'Hey, what about me?' Danny protested. 'You've already had four since you woke. We are on rationing, don't forget.' 'If you're making a pot for Albert then it'll stretch to me, Danny pointed out. 288 Moonlit Eyes 'Well all right.' Vera pretended to concede, having been going give him a cup anyway, and disappeared out of the room. 'She's a gem. Don't know what I'd do without her,' Danny declared, having enjoyed that little bit of banter. Albert smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. 'You gave me a h.e.l.l of a fright last night, mate,' he said softly. 'I thought we'd lost you. What's the damage?' 'Concussion, that's all. And a few abrasions. I was lucky.' "What happened exactly?' 'Don't know, Albert. One moment someone was shouting eas, the next thing I knew I was in an ambulance. I must have been hit on the head by flying debris of some sort. Thank G.o.d for my helmet. It might have been curtains if it hadn't been for that.' Albert was noting how pale and wan Danny was. 'Head 'More than I'm letting on to Vera. She thinks I'm a mug for discharging myself, but it was the right thing to do. There were casualties everywhere, most i