Chapter 8.

Callie Finally the big day. For the most part I've made amends with my sister. I'm trying to do better with my att.i.tude and remain excited to welcome Wes into the family. I hate admitting it, but after my encounter with Cob I'm resorted to believing I just need to get Wes out of my system and replace the idea of being with him by putting myself out there to potentially meet someone who can be what I need.

The challenge is knowing what I want in life. My indecision leaves me wondering if running away from everything I love will be wise. I don't want to end up desperate and settling for the first guy who comes into the picture. s.e.x with Cob may have been great, but I'd hate to end up with a man like him.

We've arrived at the church, after having a slew of photographs taken beforehand. Cammie is stunning in her custom made dress, which once belonged to our mother. The alterations make it a one of a kind, but it's who is wearing it that knocks it out of the park. Her figure is back, but with some minor changes. Her b.o.o.bs are bigger and I swear her waist has gotten tiny. Maybe I'm envious of more than Cammie's soon to be husband. It could be said that I just want to be her, at least for one day.

She's been hugging me a lot lately. I think it's rea.s.surance that our love will never fail us, no matter the trials we're faced with. It's hard to love my sister and know I've been terrible. It's painful to comprehend how my actions have been affecting her.

Since the whole family has been filled in about my upcoming move, I feel more obligated to be supportive on this special day. I'll be matched with my brother to walk with during the ceremony, since he's been best friends with Wes since they were little kids. We've yet to see the men today, but in a matter of moments I'll be walking down the aisle and standing beside my sister as she ties the knot.

The familiar music resonates from the chapel. Cammie primps in front of the mirror. She's been having bouts of tears all day. "Oh my, it's time. I'm nervous. Why am I nervous? We've been living like we're married for a year. This should be easy."

"Everyone is out there watching. It's going to be okay," I try to rea.s.sure her.

Addison, who is also a bridesmaid, hands my sister a tissue. "Dry your eyes. You'll do fine."

Christian offers Cammie and gentle hug from behind. "You've got this. It's a quick ceremony and then we get to celebrate."

"I can't believe this is happening," Cammie admits. "My hands won't stop shaking."

I kneel in front of her. "When you think of being Mrs. Parrish, how does it make you feel?"

"Complete," she responds.

"Then why would you be nervous? You look beautiful. Everything is in order. Right out those doors is the man who is patiently waiting for you to be officially his forever. Get your a.s.s up and make it happen. I don't need to be the one to tell you how lucky you are."

She leans forward and hugs me tightly while whispering in my ear. "I love you, Callie. Thank you for being with me for this." Then she does the same for our other sister Ca.s.sie. "I don't know what I'd do without either of you in my life."

I close my eyes and try to draw back the burning I feel. "There's no place I'd rather be."

"Same," Ca.s.sie agrees.

I have to admit, walking down the aisle and seeing Wes standing there waiting gives me a moment where I wish I was the person he is marrying. It's just a moment though. He offers a wink to me as a friendly gesture, though I simply throw a smile back as I turn to find my position.

As soon as the wedding tune begins to play for the bride I know this isn't my time to celebrate in matrimony. My hands are clammy as I search the aisle for my sister to make her first appearance. The congregation stands as she surfaces from the back. My father has her by the arm, while Mom holds onto little Maddy in the first pew. She offers me a quick nod as if she's proud of me for coming around and doing this. It's not as if I want to be somewhere else. Yes my heart feels betrayed, but I know this is for the best. This is the life my sister deserves.

b.u.t.terflies fill my stomach as she nears and I catch the intimate look between she and Wes. They have something I want badly. They're best friends and lovers. They're parents and companions. I'm envious to the point of wanting to cry in failure. I've spent too much time fooling around with random guys. No one takes me seriously. I'm doomed to fail, because my standards exceed what I deserve.

The vows are extraordinary. Wes begins, and as I hear the struggle in his voice I notice he's in tears. I have to peer down to avoid getting emotional as he speaks.

"Cammie. Man, I practiced this for months, and now it seems like it's not going to be good enough. What can I say to you that you don't already know? I love you. I think I've loved you since I was ten years old. Standing here with you today feels like I'm dreaming. You're mine and I'm yours. Not a day will go by where you'll question that. Today you'll become my wife. I've never been happier. Sharing a future with you will make every single moment worthwhile. I promise to be the man you can count on. I promise to love our children, even the ones we haven't made yet."

A few of the guests cackle, but as I look to my father who is now positioned next to my mom, I can tell it pains him to think about his baby girl sleeping with a man.

"I'd do anything for you. You're my world, my past, my present and my future. I'll love you forever."

I don't know about the rest of the congregation, but I'm sobbing. I can't begin to control the emotions pouring out of me. His words are well thought and powerful. He says everything my sister could ever want to hear.

Then she begins.

"Wes," she says while lifting her hand to cup his cheek. "My beautiful partner who has saved me more times than I want to count. I never knew you were the one for me. If someone would have told me I would have said they were insane. We were just children when we met, and more than anything, you annoyed me. I wanted nothing to do with you, especially when p.u.b.erty happened."

The congregation responds with laughter. "I didn't know what love was until you came back into my life, or maybe I forced myself in yours. Either way I knew I never wanted to leave the comfort of your arms. You loved me at my worst, and gave me hope and strength to be the woman I am today. Grateful will never be enough. My heart beats for you, Wes. I love you. I need you, and I want you, every single day, every hour, every minute. You're everything to me. I'm so happy to become your wife and continue this journey with you. I'm lucky to have a man who wants to grow our little family. You are my past, my present and my forever. Always."

I don't think there is a dry eye in the room, including my tough on the exterior father, who seems to have two shining cheeks from the amount of tears that have flowed down them.

The moment the couple is p.r.o.nounced man and wife my once quiet family celebrates. Cammie and Wes kiss, but this time I don't cringe or turn away. It's a commemoration of their commitment to one another and it's simply beautiful.

Having the entire family together is always a great time to be had by all. There are so many of us it's hard to not find someone to strike up a conversation with. I'm sitting at the head table looking out at everyone and start to notice how most of my cousins have found someone to share their lives with. Noah has Shalan. Bella has Rusty. They're sitting at a table with their own children, smiling and entertained. Christian and Ethan are dancing, while Addison and Cole are having a conversation near the exit. Cammie and Wes remain in the center of the dance floor, talking and celebrating with everyone who comes to congratulate them.

I scan the room and find Jake and Jax stealing cameras from tables while people are up getting food. I know exactly what they're doing. It happens at every wedding, and according to my parents, was started by none other than my Uncle Ty. The photos won't be seen until the guests go through them in the next week or so. The victim will shrill as bare a.s.ses and possibly even more are displayed on their screens or prints. Who would have thought mooning a camera would get so much hype? Only in my family.

I find their wives joining them a few seconds later. They scoot out of the hall where they'll be undiscovered for the photo session. When I search the room for my brother I find him at the other end of my table. He's staring at me and pointing to the dance floor. I shrug, knowing exactly what he's implying. The second we begin dancing he starts on me. "It's just you and me left. I think we should both wait until we're at least fifty to settle down. Think of all the potential out there without our cousins around to screw things up."

"You're trying to make me feel better."

"Is it working?"

"No. I feel incompetent. What if I never meet someone?"

"I'm more afraid that you will. That poor dude is in for it. You're a horrible person to live with."

I slap him lightly. "Shut up."

"It's true. I'm forever finding your thongs on the bathroom floor. I think you purposely drop them to gross me out."

"We don't share bathrooms, you a.s.shole. Quit getting on me. Your room is disgusting. I can't believe you have girls in there."

"They aren't there for the decor, dear sister," he speaks in my ear directly.

I shake my head and bite my tongue. He's ridiculous and will probably never change. He'll be old and alone because he refuses to grow up. I don't want that kind of future. I need to discover my place in the world and settle down. It's all I want.

"You're going to miss me when I'm gone, Josh."

"Yeah, I will. We've had some great times growing up though, haven't we?"

"Definitely."

"Do me a favor, while you're out exploring, don't change for anyone." All of a sudden my brother is being completely serious. "Be yourself. If a man can't love you for that reason, he's not worth the effort."

The dance floor is filled with family now, and as I look around the room I see the one thing that will keep me grounded. It's all of them. They are what is most important in life. Josh is right. Finding my place doesn't require me to become someone I've never been.

This endeavor is going to be a challenge, but after everything I've gone through I think I'll manage okay. Only time will tell.

Chapter 9.

Callie Since I've never left home for a long period of time, I didn't antic.i.p.ate how difficult it would be to pack up all my belongings into my small compact car and drive away from the only place I've ever lived.

I'm in tears before I sit in the driver's seat, and fully sobbing by the time I make it down the dirt and gravel lane. I've waited until both of my parents have gone to work because I knew I wouldn't be able to look into their eyes and make this kind of leap. In the days leading to my exit, I spend quality time with my immediate family, all except for Cammie and Wes, who've gone away for a small getaway to the cabin my uncle Colt owns. Ca.s.sie and I go shopping, and I go over to the house she shares with her fiance' Logan. After the wedding I sort of feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. What's done is done. I can't change the past, but I'm d.a.m.n sure going to work hard for a future I can call my own. I don't want to live in Cammie's shadow. Knowing something new awaits me is the only thing that prevents me from turning around and going back. It's not like I'm going to a foreign place where I'm a stranger. The ranch in Kentucky is bigger than ours. Lots of extended family members call it home. My aunt, uncle and father were raised there in Kentucky. It's always been one of my favorite places, so I know it won't be difficult settling in.

For the first few weeks I'll be staying at the main house with my great aunt Kay. She's my uncle Colt's mother, who refuses to move out of the large mansion until the day she dies. It's far too big for her and her housekeeper Lucy, but she's too proud to admit it. I suppose it also has to do with her late husband building the home with his bare hands. He made the ranch what it is today. After his sudden death, before I was born, it was up to his son Colt to keep things going. Since then the business has grown, and even branched out to North Carolina where my immediate family resides.

After a long and grueling drive I make it to the gates of the estate. I enter the code and watch them open for me. The main house is situated in front of everything else, so I pull halfway into the circular driveway and finally park my vehicle.

The big white house appears the same as it has my whole life. Large black shutters landscape each window, and the front porch houses the same swings and furniture as it did on my last visit.

It's not until I walk through the front door when I start to wonder if I've arrived at the worst time possible.

I can hear the voices of my cousin Noah, his father Colt, and Aunt Kay coming from the rear part of the home. Uncle Colt can be recognized for being the loudest. I try my best to ignore what they're arguing about, figuring it's something silly, but soon overhear alarming details.

"I don't give a s.h.i.t what those papers say, son. We'll go to court if we have to."

"The lawyer said," Noah begins.

His father interrupts. "Screw the lawyers."

Aunt Kay does her best to calm her son down. "Let's not jump to conclusions. We don't have all the details yet. Right now it's speculation. I'm sure we'll be able to get this worked out before it escalates to something major. For right now you both need to cool off. I can't have Callie arriving to this mess."

I step in the room and wave. "It's too late. I've already ruined that idea."

Noah smiles when he sees me, but I can tell his Dad is still hung up on the conversation. Aunt Kay pulls me into a hug. She still looks the same, gray hair, dressed cla.s.sy, pretty teeth. Uncle Colt looks older in the eyes, but maybe it's because Noah is his younger version. We all share the same green eyes, and there is something comforting about that when it comes to fitting in. We can't deny our relation.

Uncle Colt pulls me into a hug. "Glad you made it safely, Callie. Aunt Van has been looking forward to spending time with you."

"And Shalan wants to know if you'd help her with her hair," Noah adds.

I nod. "Sure. I can't wait."

Aunt Kay interjects. "Let the poor girl get settled first. There will be plenty of time for all that stuff later."