She could disappear, go someplace else, assume a new identity. She was smart and resourceful, She was interested in many things. Journalism wasn't the only worthwhile field of endeavor.

But those were options generated by panic and fear. Avery knew she would never act upon them. She couldn't withstand another professional failure, especially one of this magnitude. And what if Tate's life were lost as a consequence? He and Mandy were now worth more to her than any acclaim. She must stay. With the election only several weeks away, the end was in sight.

As attested to by the message on her mirror, Carole's recent unpredictability had made Tate's enemy angry and nervous. Nervous people made mistakes. She would have to be watchful for giveaways, and at the same time guard against giving herself away.

The stable was still deserted when she returned her mount to his stall. She unsaddled him, gave him a bucket of feed, and rubbed him down.

"I've been looking for you."

Alarmed, she dropped the currycomb and spun around. "Tate!" She splayed a hand across her thudding heart. "I didn't hear you come in. You startled me."

He was standing at the opening of the stall. Shep sat obediently at his feet, tongue lolling.

"Mandy's demanding your French toast for breakfast. I told her I'd come find you."

"I went riding," she said, stating the obvious.

"What happened to the fancy britches?"

"Pardon?"

"Those. . ."He gestured along the outside of his thighs.

"Jodhpurs?" Her jeans and boots weren't fancy, by any means. The shirttail of her simple cotton shirt was hanging loosely over her hips. "I feel silly in them now."

"Oh." He turned to go.

"Tate?" When he came back around, she nervously moistened her lips. "I know everyone is furious with me, but your opinion is the only one that matters. Do you hate me?"

Sheplay down on the cool cement floor of the stable and propped his head on his front paws, looking up at her with woeful eyes.

"I'd better get back to Mandy," Tate said. "Coming?" "Yes, I'll be right there."

Yet neither made a move to leave the stable. They just stood there, staring at each other. Except for the occasional stamping of a shod hoof against the floor or the snuffling of a horse, the stable was silent. Dust motes danced in the stripes of sunlight coming through the windows. The air was still and thick with the pleasing smells of hay and horseflesh and leather. And lust.

Avery's clothes suddenly seemed constricting. Her hair felt too heavy for her head, her skin too small to contain her teeming body. She ached to go to Tate and place her arms around his waist. She wanted to rest her cheek on his chest and feel the beating of his heart as it had pulsed when he was inside her. She wanted him to reach for her with need and passion again, even if short-term gratification was all he wanted from her.

The desire swirling within her was coupled with despair. The combination was unbearable. She looked away from him and idly reached out to stroke the gelding's velvet muzzle. He turned away from his oats to affectionately bump her shoulder. "I don't get it."

Her eyes swung back to Tate. "What?"

"He used to breathe fire if you came anywhere near him. You wanted us to sell him to the glue factory. Now you nuzzle each other. What happened?"

She met Tate's gray eyes directly and said softly, "He learned to trust me."

He got the message. There was no mistaking that. He held her stare for a long time, then nudged the large dog with the toe of his boot. "Come on, Shep ." Over his retreating shoulder he reminded her, "Mandy's waiting."

THIRTY-SIX.

"Be a sweet girl for Daddy." Tate knelt in front of his daughter and gave her a tight hug. "I'll be back before you know it and bring you a present."

Ordinarily, Mandy's grin would have caused Avery to smile, but she found that impossible to do this morning, the day of Tate's departure. He stood up. "Call me if she has any breakthroughs."

"Of course."

"Or any regressions."

"Yes."

"The entire staff's been put on notice that if a call comes in concerning Mandy, I'm to be summoned immediately, no matter what."

"If anything happens, I promise to call right away."

Jack tooted the car horn. He was waiting impatiently behind the steering wheel. Eddy was already sitting in the passenger seat, speaking into the cellular phone that had recently been installed.

"About that other," Tate said, keeping his tone confidential. "Eddy did as you suggested and asked the nurse for irrefutable proof that you'd had an abortion. He grilled her good, gave her a taste of what she would be up against if she went to the press or to Dekker's people with her story.

"He also did some investigating. As you guessed, she was fired from her job and wanted to embarrass the doctor even more than us. Eddy used that as leverage, too, and threatened all kinds of litigation. For the time being, she's cowed."

"Oh, I'm so glad, Tate. I would have hated to have that darken your campaign."

He gave a short laugh. "It couldn't look much darker than it already does."

"Don't get discouraged," she said, laying her hand on his sleeve. "The polls aren't gospel. Besides, they can be reversed at any time."

"They'd better be damn quick about it," he said grimly. "November's going to be here before we know it."

Between now and then, his life was in danger and she couldn't even warn him of it. During this trip she wouldn't be there watching for a tall, gray-haired man. Maybe she should mention thatajust give him that much head start against his enemies.

"Tatea" she began. Jack honked the horn again.

"Got to go." He bent from the waist and kissed Mandy's cheek again. "Good-bye, Carole." She didn't get a kiss, or a hug, or even a backward glance before he got into the car and was driven away.

"Mommy? Mommy?"

Mandy must have addressed her several times. By the time Avery stopped staring at the curve in the road where the car had disappeared from view and looked down at her, her little face was perplexed.

"I'm sorry. What is it, darling?"

"How come you're crying?"

Avery brushed the tears off her cheeks and forced a wide smile. "I'm just sad because Daddy's leaving. But I've got you to keep me company. Will you do that while he's gone?"

Mandy nodded vigorously. Together they went inside. If Tate was temporarily beyond her help, she could at least do the best she could for his daughter.

The days crawled by. She spent most of her time with Mandy, but even the activities she invented for them weren't enough to absorb the endless hours. She hadn't been exaggerating when she had told Tate all those weeks earlier that she needed something constructive to do. She wasn't accustomed to inactivity. On the other hand, she seemed to lack the energy to motivate herself into doing anything more than staring into space and worrying about him.

She watched the evening news every night, anxiously looking for the gray-haired man in the crowd shots. Irish would wonder why she hadn't accompanied Tate on this trip, so she had called him from a public phone booth in Kerrville and explained about the abortion crisis.

"His advisers, starting with Eddy, recommended that I stay behind. I'm a pariah now."

"Even to Rutledge?"

"To an extent, yes. He's as polite as ever, but there's a definite chill there."

"I've heard of political experts like Wakely and Foster. They give a command and Rutledge barks, is that it?"

"They give a command, Tate snarls at them, then barks."

"Hmm, well, I'll notify Van and tell him to keep his eye out for that guy you seem to think is significant."

"Iknowhe's significant. Tell Van to call me the instant he spots him."

"If he does."

Apparently he hadn't, because Van hadn't called. But all the news stories broadcast by KTEX featured at least one crowd shot. Van was sending her a message. Gray Hair wasn't in the crowds surging around Tate.

That did little to relieve Avery's anxiety, however. She wanted to be beside Tate to see for herself that he was in no imminent danger. At night she experienced graphic visions of him dying a bloody death. During the day, when she wasn't involved with Mandy, she wandered restlessly through the rooms of the house. "Still in the dumps?"

Avery raised her head. Nelson had come into the living room without her hearing him. "Does it show?" she asked with a wan smile.

"Plain as day." He lowered himself into one of the easy chairs.

"Admittedly, I haven't been very good company lately."

"Missing Tate?"

The family's subtle snubbing had made the time pass even more slowly. It had been a little over a week since Tate had left. It seemed eons.

"Yes, Nelson, I miss him terribly. I suppose you find that hard to believe. Zee does. She'll barely look at me."

He stared straight into her eyes, hard enough and incisively enough to make her squirm. He said, "That abortion business was hideous."

"I had no intention of anyone ever finding out."

"Except Tate."

"Well, he had to know, didn't he?"

"Did he? Was the baby his?"

She hesitated for only a second. "Yes."

"And you wonder why we aren't feeling too kindly toward you?" he asked. "You destroyed our grandbaby. I find that impossible to forgive, Carole. You know how Zee feels about Tate. Did you expect her to embrace you for what you did?"

"No."

"Being the kind of mother she's been to the boys, she can't imagine doing what you did. Frankly, neither can I."

Avery glanced down at the photo album that was spread open over her lap. The pictures she had been looking at when he had come in were from early years. Zee was very young and very beautiful. Nelson looked dashing and handsome in his air force blues. Jack and Tate were pictured as youngsters in various stages. They typified the all-American family.

"It couldn't have been easy for Zee when you went to Korea."

"No, it wasn't," he said, settling more comfortably into his chair. "I had to leave her alone with Jack, who was just a baby."

"Tate was born after the war, right?" "Just after."

"He was still a baby when you moved to New Mexico," she said, consulting the album again, hoping he would elaborate on the few bare facts she knew through painstaking investigation.

"That's where the Air Force sent me, so that's where I went," Nelson said. "Desolate place. Zee hated the desert and the dust. She also hated the work I was doing. In those days, test pilots were disposable commodities."

"Like your friend Bryan Tate."

His features softened, as though he was mentally reliving good times. Then, sadly, he shook his head. "It was like losing one of the family. I gave up test piloting after that. My heart just wasn't in it anymore, and if your heart's not in it, you can get killed quicker. Maybe that's what happened with Bryan. Anyway, I didn't want to die. There was still too much I wanted to do.

"The air force sent me to Lackland . This was home, anyway. Good place to raise the boys. My daddy was getting old. I retired from the air force after he died and took over the ranching business."

"But you miss the flying, don't you?"

"Yeahahell, yeah," he said with a self-deprecating laugh. "Old as I am, I still remember what it was like up there. No feeling in the world to rival it. Nothing like swapping beers and stories with the other fliers, either. A woman can't understand what it's like to have buddies like that."

"Like Bryan?"

He nodded. "He was a good pilot. The best." His smile faded. "But he got careless and paid the price with his life." His vision cleared as he focused on Avery again. "Everybody pays for his mistakes, Carole. You might get away with them for a while, but not forever. Eventually, they'll catch up with you."

She looked away uncomfortably. "Is that what you think is happening with me and the abortion?"

"Don't you?" "I suppose so."

He leaned forward and propped his forearms on his thighs. "You've already had to pay by bearing the shame of it. I'm just hoping that Tate doesn't have to pay for your mistake by losing this election."

"So do I."

He studied her for a moment. "You know, Carole, I've jumped to your defense many times since you became part of this family. I've given you the benefit of the doubt on more occasions than one."

"Your point?"

"Everyone's noticed the changes in you since you came back after your accident."

Avery's heartbeat quickened. Had they been discussing these changes among themselves? "I have changed. For the better, I think."

"I agree, but Zee doesn't think the changes are real. She believes you're putting on an actathat your interest in Mandy is phony and your sudden regard for Tate is merely a tactic to stay in his good graces so he'll take you with him to Washington."

"Not a very nattering commendation from a mother-in-law," she mused aloud. "What do you think?"

"I think you're a beautiful, smart young womanatoo smart to lock horns with me." He pointed a blunt finger at her. "You better be everything you've pretended to be." For several moments, his expression remained foreboding. Then he broke into a wide grin. "But if you're sincerely trying to make up for past mistakes, I commend you for it. To get elected, Tate needs his family, especially his wife, behind him one hundred percent."

"I am behind his getting elected one hundred percent."