The front door opened, and his mom stumbled back in with Jeff wrapped around her, hugging her from behind. Both wasted.

Dropping her cigarette into the can, Kelsi set it on the floor, clasped her arms around his neck and pressed her pelvis tight against his. "Mm. I've missed you. Let's go to your room."

Anger pounded in his veins. A dangerous, wild sense of aggression-like he could hurl a couch off the upstairs balcony-caused him to tear her arms off him and step away from the wall so roughly she lost her balance.

"Get off me, Kels."

"What the fuck's your problem? I'm not the one banging a drug dealer."

Before he could ram his fist through the wall, he tore out of the room.

Locking himself in the bathroom, he ran the cold water and splashed his face. Too drunk to call Nicole, he dropped his head in his wet hands. The problem was he only wanted Nicole.

Had he fucked up giving Wilmington a shot? Obviously he could still earn decent bank graduating from Boulder. It's just...he'd wanted more.

And look what he'd found. Nicole.

Fuck it. He was too drunk to have self-control. He dialed his girl. A hip perched on the edge of the sink, he tilted his head back, listening to the shrieks of laughter, the thump of bass, and rumble of conversation. After four rings, she didn't answer. He wouldn't leave a voicemail.

But then he heard her voice.

"Hello? Dylan?" She shouted over the loud music in the background.

Energy flooded him. "Where are you?"

"Wait. I can't hear you." She paused. "Hang on a second."

Was she in a club with Jonathan? The drunk from Greenwich, Connecticut? Clean up that little drinking problem, and the guy would be perfect for her.

"Dylan?" It sounded quieter now.

Drunk as he was, he knew he had to calm down. "Where are you?" He was glad she hadn't heard him the first time.

"You're drunk." She didn't sound disappointed. Just...cold.

"Yeah."

"What do you want?" Crisp, professional. Like he was a telemarketer who'd interrupted dinner.

"I miss you."

"Dylan, we're not going to talk when you're drunk. Besides, didn't you dump me this morning? Which is great timing, actually, since you're with your girlfriend right now."

He was too drunk to properly respond. He didn't trust himself to not blow up.

"You are with her, right?"

"Kelsi's not my girlfriend. I told you that." He had his girl on the line, and he couldn't bear to let her go. "I didn't say it right the first time. Will you let me try now?"

"Not when you're drunk."

"Don't be so cold with me." He needed to tone it down. "It's me, sunshine."

"I know."

"So, give me a chance here. When you get all hard with me, I can't think straight."

"You can't think straight because you're drunk."

"Nicole! Jesus. I'm trying here." Yeah, he understood her history with drunks, but come on. He wasn't her mom or her ex.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry."

"I'm not that drunk. Can you please just give me a chance to tell you how I feel? It's not easy for me."

"I know that." Her soft voice spread through him, soothing like nothing else.

"Kelsi's a friend. That's all she is to me anymore. She's been there for me. We never had the...fuck, what do we have, sunshine? Fire? Because even just thinking about you gets me all stirred up. It's like there's this little flame burning right in the center of me, and the minute you come close, it turns into this raging fire. I want you, Nicole." Emotion choked him. "You."

"You're drunk. Everyone looks really good to you right now."

"No. I want you. Only you."

"You broke up with me."

"I didn't break up with you. I just don't know how to do this. My mom's-" Shit.

"Uh oh. Were you about to share something with me?"

"It works, you know. When you shoot me with that nail gun mouth of yours? It works. I'm trying to talk to you, and you're fucking nailing me."

"I'm sorry. A, you told me you had a girlfriend, B, you broke up with me, and C, you're drunk dialing me. Three strikes, I'm out."

The line went dead.

He'd told her how he felt about her, and she'd shot him down.

Fuck. He hurled his phone against the wall, then turned and left the bathroom, diving right back into the party.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN.

Her hand fisted his cock, her tits pressed against his back. Sensation burned through him, rousing him from the deepest sleep. "Nicole, oh, Jesus, Nicole." God, he wanted her. And not just her hand. He wanted her mouth. He wanted inside her. God, he needed her so badly.

But something didn't feel right. The way she jerked him off. It was-too rough, too...his eyes shot open. What the fuck? Where was he?

He felt her pressed up against him-but no. It didn't smell like her. And those weren't her tits.

What the fuck?

He shot up, only then realizing he was on the edge of the mattress. No, couch. Falling onto the floor, he landed on something hard, cold. A beer bottle.

"Hey, baby." Kelsi lifted on an elbow. "Oh, my God, what happened? Are you okay? Get back up here. Let me finish you off."

He tucked himself back into his jeans, stood up. The world swayed, and his stomach flipped over. "What the hell're doing?"

"You were hard as a baseball bat. I was helping you out."

He got to his feet, his vision adjusting enough to see beer, vodka, and wine bottles littering the living area. Bowls and bongs everywhere. Someone was passed out under the kitchen table. A few other bodies curled together on the floor, against the wall. The whole place stank of body odor, pot, and beer.

Two days ago, his life had been so...sweet. Clean. Perfect. And now...Jesus, imagine if Nicole had come home with him? Had seen this.

Kelsi sat up, pulling her shirt off, revealing the huge globes of her breasts. "Come here, baby, it's all right." She held her arms out to him.

"I have a girlfriend, Kelsi." He leaned low, spoke quietly but deadly. "Stay away from me." He started for the bathroom, but she flew off the couch, following him.

"Would you shut up about the girlfriend already? You're fucking some girl at school, big deal. That has nothing to do with us." She grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked. He turned to face her, so damn sick of this life. "It's us, baby." Her eyes went hooded, as she pressed those naked tits up against him. "I can make you feel good. And I've missed you so much. No one treats me like you do."

He had to get out of there. He thought of Nicole-and fear skittered down his spine. He remembered calling her in the bathroom. Drunk. She'd hung up on him. Jesus Christ, he'd called her when he was drunk. She would hate that.

And even right then he was still drunk. He'd gotten completely trashed. He didn't want Nicole to know about this life- Then why am I living it?

He strode back to the couch, snatched up Kelsi's T-shirt and tossed it at her. "Put it on so I can talk to you."

She held it up against her chest, standing there all defiant with her tangled, over-processed hair and smeared mascara.

"I should've talked to you before I left, but I didn't. At the time, I guess I thought we were on the same page. I thought you understood, but now I can see that was just chicken shit. Kels, we're over. Even if I didn't have Nicole, you and I are still over."

"Are you sure about that, Dyl? You got anyone else to keep an eye on your mom?" She lowered her arms, revealing those tits again.

A familiar uneasiness slid through him. He didn't have anyone else. Everyone but Kelsi had bailed on them long ago. He sat on the edge of the coffee table, knowing he was still too drunk to have this conversation. "You're right. I don't have anyone else. But I'm not going to pretend to want you to get that help. You've been a good friend to me, Kels. I'd like us to still be friends. But I'm serious about this girl." Even though he'd blown it so badly he didn't know if she'd take him back.

But, God, he hoped she'd take him back.

Kelsi made a sound of disgust. "That's so sweet, Dylan. I'm super happy for you. But don't forget who you're talking to. I know the truth. So, while I genuinely hope you have fun two thousand miles away in Disneyland, let's keep it real when we're together. I hope your little Disney Princess gives good head and all, but in four years, your scooter's going to turn into a pumpkin. You're going to come home and guess what? Your real life's going to be right here, just as you left it."

She flounced back on the couch, bunching her T-shirt in her hands. "Now go take a piss or whatever it was you were going to do and let's go to sleep. You don't want me touching the goods Princess Wilmington has recently sucked?" She shrugged. "We'll see how long that lasts. But I know you better than anyone. You won't be able to keep up the charade. How long can you fake the whole Prince Charming routine? I know you, Dylan. And you're going to want what we have together. The fact you're even worried about cheating on her-are you fucking serious? You're eighteen years old. You should be screwing around, getting it out of your system. I give you exactly what you need. Now let's get to sleep. We've got Mason Dean's turkey fry at noon."

She lay back on the couch, patting the space she'd made for him.

He turned and left the room.

When Dylan lifted the toilet seat, he caught a gleam of silver out of the corner of his eye. His phone lay on the floor by the waste basket. He grabbed it. Maybe Nicole had called back?

He opened it to find a text from her. Hope hammered in his chest.

I'm sorry for the nail gun thing, but you have to know how I feel about you drunk dialing me.

Yeah, he did. Fuck. He grabbed a quick shower and then headed outside. Kels had already fallen back asleep on the couch.

Hitting Nicole's speed dial, he headed down the stairs. Damn, it was cold this morning. But the fresh, brittle air cleared his head. He felt better, stronger.

"Hey." She didn't sound good. "I'm glad you called."

Relief flooded him. Just her willingness to talk. "I'm sorry for last night. I shouldn't have tried to talk to you when I was wasted." He found himself wandering the parking lot, looking for his truck. The truck he'd sold to pay bills before he'd left. Shit. It felt weird not having any wheels. Normally, he'd take off into the mountains.

"Dylan, I know what we have."

His heart kicked in his chest. She was back. His girl was back. She wasn't angry anymore. He waited for her to go on.

"So, I don't think you're hooking up with Kelsi."

He tensed. His mind told him to be happy with what she was saying, but his gut sensed something was wrong. "No, I'm not."

"But I don't really know because I don't know you. Maybe you are that guy."

Oh, shit. Where was she going with this? That soft, sweet voice had an edge in it. "You know me."

"I know the five percent you're willing to show me. But everything else is hidden, and unless you're willing to share it with me, then I don't see that we even have a relationship to end."

"Nicole."

"No, I know you're hung-over, and this isn't a good time to talk about this, but you called me, you want to talk, so I'm going to just say this. This is really hard for me because I'm crazy about you. No, it's more than that. I feel this connection with you, and I've never had it with anybody before, so believe me when I say, this is hard for me to do. But I want more-I need more from you. I'm sorry, but I know myself, and I can't settle for the five percent you're willing to give. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Of course he did.

"You warned me from the beginning, so I'm not blaming you. But after learning about a girlfriend you've had for two years, after finding out she knows all of you and I only know a tiny bit, I guess...I guess I just now understand what you were trying to tell me."

"Don't do this, Nicole." No, no, what was he saying? She was right. She shouldn't be with him. He should let it go. He needed to let it go. Focus on his mom, work, school, not a fucking relationship. The ninety-five percent she didn't know about? Was disgusting. "The five percent you have is the best part." Why was he pushing it? Let it the fuck go.

"Yeah, well, I don't want just the good parts. I want all of them. All of you." She paused. "Will you give them to me?"

This was it. The turning point. He could have his deep down, or he could let her go.

He thought of his mom, beaten unconscious in the parking lot of the Pit Stop two years ago. He thought of Kelsi, completely wasted, face in his lap, sucking him off before they both passed out. Nicole wanted to know that part of his life. Was he willing to let her see it?

"No."

And that was it. The end.

It sucked, but at least he'd done the right thing.