He nodded again.

Satisfied, she turned to look at the animals in the enclosure.

Two huge polar bears were vigorously mating.

Ellie's eyes widened. She froze. The bears continued their business with the utmost nonchalance.

She sneaked a glance at Garek.

"Unless, of course," he said, completely straightfaced except for a gleam in his eye, "you can't bear to go without."

Chapter Thirteen.

"So what do you think?" she asked him one month later during the intermission of the free concert being held at a local college.

Garek eyed the stale doughnuts and cold coffee being sold by some student group in the dingy hallway. He decided against refreshments.

"To be perfectly truthful," he said, turning his gaze back to Ellie, "it's incredibly boring."

He saw the shock register. She stared at him, her lips pursing in an expression of disapproval. But then, her mouth softened, and she laughed. "At least you're honest. But you're spoiled. You're used to easy entertainment. Sometimes you have to make an effort."

"An effort how?"

"You learn about the music, to appreciate it. You imagine a story as it's playing. Or what the music makes you feel. What did you feel with the music we just heard?"

"Sleepy."

She laughed again, but shook her head. "That wasn't much of an effort."

"I save my effort for business."

She looked at him curiously. "Is that the only thing in your life worth exerting yourself for?"

He frowned. A few months ago he would have said yes. Now, he wasn't so sure. "Running a company requires total commitment. Art and music are completely frivolous."

"You're wrong. Art teaches you to observe, to look beyond the surface. Music teaches you to listen, to hear more than what's being said."

A pimplyfaced student announced that the music was about to begin again and Ellie didn't say any more, but her words stuck with Garek through the second half of the concert.

Perhaps the business had lost some of its attraction. The company had always demanded a lot of his attention and he'd never minded before. But lately he'd been aware of a vague sense of dissatisfaction. Sometimes he felt as though he was in a dark tunnel, one that was getting narrower and narrower as he proceeded. He couldn't go back, but sometimes he thought that if he kept going forward, the concrete walls would start to press against him, squeezing him until he couldn't breathe...

Maybe that was why he was finding it strangely appealing to go out on weird dates with a woman he wasn't even sleeping with.

She wouldn't let him take her anywhere expensive; they went to museums, lectures and cheap restaurants. It reminded him a little of his childhood, before his fa ther had started the company. Every Sat.u.r.day, he, his sister and parents had gone to the Navy Pier. Doreen had saved her babysitting money and took him for rides on the Ferris wheel and bought him funnel cakes.

He had a lot of good memories of Doreen. She'd been different then; she'd helped their mother cook and clean their small house and flirted with the son of the auto mechanic next door.

After his father started his own business, everything had changed. The business had been wildly successful, and his father had worked long hours and weekends. They rarely saw him after that, but at first Garek really didn't notice. That first year had been like a constant stream of Christmas mornings. His father got a new car, his mother a housekeeper. Garek and his sister received TVs, toys, whatever they wanted. They moved into the fancy Gold Coast neighborhood of Chicago. Only, there hadn't been many kids to play with there, and he'd felt awkward at his new fancy private school. His father became totally immersed in the business; his mother got involved in her own projects. Doreen had dumped the auto mechanic's son and married blue-blooded Grant Tarrington. She'd been dazzled and impressed by her taste of high society.

Garek shook his head and glanced over at Ellie. She was wearing jeans and a sweater instead of an evening gown, but she sat as still and straight as she had at the symphony, listening to the music with every sign of pleasure.

Unlike Doreen, she never seemed impressed by wealth or status. He wondered how she'd gained such poise. She couldn't have had an easy life. In the last month he'd learned a lot about her family-how her mother's parents and siblings had come to this country from Mexico, and how they'd all worked hard to get jobs and educations.

Garek had heard all about Ellie's six cousins and their marriages and their offspring. He knew that her cousin Julio's six-year-old daughter had gotten an award at school for being "conscientious." He knew that her cousin Pedro's four-year-old son collected Pokemon cards.

But as much as Ellie talked about her cousins and their children, she rarely spoke of her mother and father.

The little he'd been able to glean was that her father had loved art and the violin, taken her to see symphony rehearsals when she was very small, and failed at just about every job he tried. Her mother had been kind and loving, but worn down by being virtually the sole support of the small family. And every summer she took Ellie on a bus to visit her family in Chicago.

Garek had guessed that her parents never married. That had been easy to deduce from the fact that she had her mother's last name and her reticence about her father's family. He also guessed that worry and uncertainty had shaped a large part of her early years.

He also guessed that the turmoil of her childhood was what had formed two of her most prominent character-istics: a love of her family and an ability to find enjoyment in even the most mundane activities and pastimes. She seemed to take pleasure in every aspect of her life.

Garek shifted on the hard folding chair. Perhaps that was the secret of her appeal. He didn't know what else it could be. Over the past four weeks he'd kept his word and hadn't tried to kiss her or touch her, even though sometimes it nearly killed him not to do so. He was aware of her all the time. At the art lecture they'd gone to last week, the chairs had been so close together that she'd brushed against him every time she moved. It had been extremely difficult to listen to the instructor.

He'd made an effort though, because he knew she would quiz him afterward. Professor Jameson had been exceedingly boring, but to Garek's surprise, the guest speaker had actually been interesting. The European woman had showed slides of her modernart collection. She'd grown up with the Old Masters and loved them, but now preferred contemporary art because it was new and different and exciting. She'd talked about line and form, negative s.p.a.ce and motion, color and connections. She'd showed how rational a.n.a.lysis could be applied to the way the art was structured, but also pointed out that logic could never explain the magic of the content contained within.

Garek had wanted to scoff at the woman's words, but somehow he couldn't. He'd been thinking of them when he went over to Doreen's the next night and offered to help Karen with her computer. The visit had been less than magical-Karen had been sullen and uncoopera-tive-but Ellie had looked pleased when he told her about it.

"You can't expect miracles," she'd a.s.sured him. "Especially with a teenager."

"But why does she always seems so angry?"

"She's probably not very good at expressing her feelings. Or maybe she's just afraid to. Some kids have trouble with that."

"So you're saying I should just give up until she's an adult?"

"Adults can have the same problem." She gave him a pointed look, and he frowned, still not really understanding. She sighed. "Think of it like starting a business. You wouldn't work for one day and expect to make a million dollars, would you? You have to spend a lot of time and effort before it starts to pay off. A relationship is the same way."

Once again, her words stuck with him. He'd gone over to help Karen a second time-and had even stayed for dinner.

Doreen had been astonished.

The meal had been full of wary glances and awkward silences, but she'd invited him back the following week, and it had been easier that time. He'd been telling Karen about the time one of Doreen's boyfriends had come to the house to take her on a date. While Doreen was getting ready, Garek-still in junior high and barely five feet tall-had taken the brawny twenty-two-year-old Joe Pulaski into the living room and proceeded to ask him about his job, his income, whether he was planning to go to college, what his plans for the future were, and exactly how did Doreen fit into those plans? Joe, sweating and squirming, had leapt to his feet when Doreen came down, and rushed her out the door.

Karen had listened to the story expressionlessly, while Doreen sniffed and said what a little pest Garek had been...but then, unexpectedly, she'd smiled. And he'd smiled back. And then, suddenly, they'd both started laughing, and Karen, her mouth agape, had stared at them with wide, bewildered eyes- A burst of applause interrupted Garek's thoughts. He glanced at Ellie, who was clapping vigorously. She had a way of explaining that made everything seem so clear and simple. But at the same time, when he was with her, he felt confused. Looking at her, he felt the same way he did when he looked at Woman in Blue Woman in Blue. He could almost see it. Almost get it. Almost...

The applause faded and everyone rose to their feet. Garek looked down at Ellie. Even with her heels on, the top of her head barely reached his chin. She was so small-and yet she was somehow becoming more and more important in his life.

"Will you let me take you to dinner?" he asked, raising his voice to be heard over the clanking sc.r.a.pe of metal chairs. She glanced over her shoulder, and he added with a smile, "Somewhere inexpensive, I promise."

For a moment, he saw an answering smile in her eyes. But then, just as quickly, it disappeared, and she turned away.

"Ican't, I have other plans. "She stepped into the aisle.

His smile vanished. Going after her, he caught her arm. "You have a date with someone else?"

"No...not exactly." She stared at the back of the man in front of her. "It's my cousin Alyssa's birthday. My aunt and uncle are having a party for her."

"I see."

Ellie shifted uneasily at the cool note in his voice. She'd thought about inviting him, but quickly decided against it. She couldn't imagine him with her family. They weren't rich. They were hardworking, respectable people, but she didn't know how he would react to them. A month ago, she would have thought he would look down his nose at them. Now, she wasn't quite so sure.

He'd surprised her these last few weeks. Now that the blinders were off, and she knew who and what he really was, she'd expected that spending time with Garek would banish any lingering feelings she had for him.

Instead, she'd noticed a change in him. He wasn't as flip, as glib as he'd been before. He no longer seemed to be trying to charm her-but instead of liking him less, she actually liked him more. He no longer seemed as guarded, the remoteness she sometimes sensed in him seemed almost to have vanished. It only returned occasionally, like now. But this time, unlike before, she recognized what it meant-he was hurt.

The expression in his eyes bothered her more than she liked to admit, even to herself. He was trying really hard to establish a relationship with his sister and niece, but it was an uphill struggle. He seemed so...alone sometimes. As if he had no family at all. sometimes. As if he had no family at all.

But he probably liked it that way, she told herself. He would probably despise attending a fourteen-year-old's birthday party. It would only be a lot of silly games. And yet...she supposed it wouldn't hurt to ask him. He would probably say no. But at least she would have asked...

"Would you like to come with me?" she asked when they reached the entrance hall of the building and the crowd thinned out a little.

He stopped and stared at her, an expression that was hard to read in his eyes.

"You don't have to," she added hastily. "It would probably be embarra.s.sing. Robbie will be there, and even though I made him promise not to tell anyone about what happened, he might let something slip-"

He pressed a finger to her lips. "I would be delighted to go."

He removed his finger immediately, but she was aware of a lingering tickle. Her lips felt dry, she wanted to lick them, but seeing how he was looking at her mouth, she didn't.

She wished she could stop remembering what it had felt like when he kissed her. She wished she could control the silly lurching of her stomach when he looked at her just so. She wished her heart didn't flutter happily to see the remoteness gone from his eyes.

She wished she'd kept her mouth shut.

And that feeling only intensified when they arrived at her aunt and uncle's and found Robbie out on the front porch, a beer in his hand.

He stood up, his eyes narrowing when he saw Garek. But then he smiled and slapped the other man on the back. "How's it going, primo? primo?"

"He's not your cousin," Ellie said. "Remember what you promised me."

"Yeah, sure, Ellie. Come on inside, everyone else is already here."

Ellie relaxed a little. Everyone was going to be curious enough about Garek. The last thing she wanted was for them to find out about her silly "marriage"- "Hey, everyone, look who's here," Robbie announced as they entered the crowded living room. "Ellie and her new husband!"

Several hours later, Ellie was exhausted. All evening she'd had to explain over and over that she and Garek weren't weren't married, that it was just a joke on Robbie's part. married, that it was just a joke on Robbie's part.

But in spite of her explanations, everyone still seemed to think Garek was her husband.

"I like your husband," Great-Grandma Pilar said at one point late in the evening. "He's a very nice young man. But you should have invited me to the wedding."

An image of Grandma Pilar-all four-foot-ten wizened inches of her-standing next to Caspar's tall, lanky frame as he intoned the ceremony popped into Ellie's head. Shuddering a little, she wondered how Grandma Pilar had formed any opinion at all of Garek since she spoke only Spanish. But she didn't ask. Instead, in the same language, she replied, "Abuela,he is not not my husband." my husband."

But Grandma Pilar didn't seem to hear her. "A fine young man. He'll make fine babies. Are you pregnant yet?"

"No, Grandma," Ellie said resignedly.

"Better not wait," the old lady advised. "You're not getting any younger, you know."

Ellie muttered she was going to get something to eat.

Robbie was by the table, piling carnitas carnitas onto his plate. "I knew he was the one for you, Ellie. As soon as he punched me, I knew." onto his plate. "I knew he was the one for you, Ellie. As soon as he punched me, I knew."

She might punch her cousin too if he didn't shut up. In desperation, she looked around for Garek.

He was dancing with Alyssa. Alyssa, all knees and elbows and braces, looked as though she was in seventh heaven-or maybe even eighth or ninth. Garek laughed at something the girl said, then, as if he felt her gaze on him, looked across the room straight at Ellie.

Their eyes met. He flashed a smile at her, then returned his attention to Alyssa, whirling her away in the dance.

Ellie inhaled sharply. She felt dizzy. She felt sick. In that split second, she knew the truth, the truth she'd been trying to deny.

She loved him.

In spite of everything, she loved Garek Wisnewski.

"Ilike your family," he said as he drove her home later that evening. "You're lucky to have a family like that."

"Yes, I know," she said. She did know it. But why did he he have to recognize it, too? A ruthless businessman like him shouldn't have been able to see beyond the cramped house and poor clothes to the love and joy her family had. But obviously he had. have to recognize it, too? A ruthless businessman like him shouldn't have been able to see beyond the cramped house and poor clothes to the love and joy her family had. But obviously he had.

She stared out the window at the houses zipping by. She never should have agreed to keep going out with him. She was a thousand times a fool. But how could she have known her heart would be so treacherous?

He was arrogant and ruthless and bad-tempered. She'd thought she couldn't possibly fall in love with someone like that. But during the last few weeks she'd realized that his callous facade wasn't a true indication of his character. Rather, it was a form of protection. Against being hurt.

And he had been hurt. Not necessarily in large, traumatic ways, but in small, thoughtless ones. Not very many people had been kind to Garek Wisnewski. Whenever he talked about his parents, his sister or his ex-fiancee, there was a blankness to his expression. At first, she'd thought he just didn't care. But in the last few weeks, as he let his guard down more and more, she could sometimes see the pain in his eyes, the bewilderment. Sometimes she just wanted to put her arms around him and hold him as tightly as she possibly could.

He would be horrified if he knew what she was thinking. He would scoff at the idea that anyone had hurt him. In that respect he was a lot like his niece-both of them seemed determined to squash any and all emotions. Ellie suspected that to do so had become such a habit that they were now finding it difficult to recognize, let alone express their feelings. She doubted Garek would ever willingly talk about his feelings. Certainly he would never admit to something so sappy as love. He would never make himself so vulnerable.

Which meant that she she was completely vulnerable. was completely vulnerable.

They arrived at her apartment and he walked her to her door. "Thanks again for inviting me," he said, the dim porch light illuminating his face as he smiled down at her. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at noon."

"I...I can't see you tomorrow," she said, some sense of self-preservation belatedly kicking in.

He frowned. "Why not?" he asked bluntly, as incapable as ever of accepting a refusal graciously.