Kelsey woke to the remains of a slight champagne headache. She couldn't believe Jared loved champagne! The man had definitely embraced Earth culture. Not only that, but last night, when they'd finally started to drift into a warm, hazy sleep, wrapped in each other's arms, he had unexpectedly bolted upright in bed. "Hang on a second," he'd said with a boyish grin, and fumbling with something on the nightstand, she suddenly saw he had an iPod. (An iPod! Jared had an iPod!) Her mouth had snapped open, but before she could laugh or tease him or even say anything, Jared had rolled back close to her, enfolding her in his strong, warm arms. And Duke Ellington had begun to play from a small speaker in the background.

Jared Bennett loved Earth. It was a strange realization. One she was considering as she lay beside him, not quite willing to open her drowsy eyes yet, despite sensing that he was already awake. He didn't seem to need much sleep at all. Maybe a couple of hours a night. With a quiet sigh, she nuzzled closer against him, tucking one hand beneath his muscled bicep.

"You're awake," he whispered, slipping a large palm down to the small of her back and snuggling her closer.

"Almost," she murmured against his chest. Beneath her ear, his heartbeat quickened, its steady beat sending a thrill through her whole body. She lay curled against him on her side, one of her legs tucked securely between both of his. She loved the tickling feel of the hair on his legs. Not too much hair-she couldn't stand that in a guy. But just enough. The similarities between his body and that of a human male were astounding. Almost as if he were human... but not quite. There were a dozen different ways that he seemed... well, for lack of another way to describe it, just a click off. Not quite human in some fundamental way that seemed just beyond her power to explain.

"Ah, Kelsey, please wake." The near-plaintive tone to his voice made her giggle. She leaned up, blinking at him through sleepy eyes. He grinned at her, a boyish, lopsided smile that almost made her heart stop. More than any other time since they'd met, he seemed free. Unfettered by tension or concern. His eyes almost always had a driven intensity to them, a kind of worry haunting them. This morning it was as if every single care had been swept away from him; he'd been washed clean. Renewed by her love.

He lolled his head back into the pillow, studying her. His room had no windows, and she wished she could see him like this by golden morning light, reclining all gorgeous and nude like some sated Greek G.o.d. "I've been waiting three hours for you to wake," he complained, reaching one dark hand to cup her breast. Instantly, her body tightened at his touch.

"Three hours?"

"Yes, it is already past seven a.m.," he said and she had to laugh at his idea of "sleeping in."

"You don't sleep."

"I do, some," he disagreed languidly, taking his rough fingertips and stroking them just as languidly across her right nipple.

"Not"-she gasped aloud as he tightened her nipple between his fingertips-"enough!"

"There is far too much to accomplish," he answered with a wicked, kingly grin. "Now more than ever, in fact. I shall save the sleeping for other men, while I"-he cupped her breast firmly within his palm again, causing her whole body to tremble in pleasure-"occupy myself in more valuable ways."

"Yes." She gulped. "I'd like that."

"Then I shall continue," he said courteously, with a heavy-lidded look of appreciation, his rough fingertips teasing her to greater arousal.

But as much as she ached to make love with him all over again, she'd woken needing a few answers. Very gently, she covered his caressing hand, stilling the action. "Let's just talk first," she whispered breathlessly. She smiled at him, hoping he wouldn't be offended-she didn't actually know if he was the kind of guy who got offended when a woman denied him what he wanted, but she was betting on the fact that he wasn't.

"Something is bothering you?" he inquired, reaching for her hand. He lay there, gazing up at her as she sat beside him in the bed. She fingered the edge of the satin sheet, searching for words. Finally, she managed, "We don't really know each other very well yet."

His eyes widened, and one elegant black eyebrow shot upward in question. "You're not breaking it off with me already?" he said with a husky half laugh. Yet his eyes betrayed a seriousness that belied the humor. She just rolled her eyes at him, and he blew out a sigh of relief. "Ah, good,"" he said, smiling again. "You panicked me for a moment there, Kelse."

"You're the one who told me there's no going back."

He offered her a gentle, tender smile. "Not much recourse at this point, I'm afraid."

"I don't want any recourse." She snorted, swatting him on the arm. "I want you."

"That you have, my love. Always."

"It's just..." She drew in a strengthening breath. What she wanted to ask wasn't easy, but it had been niggling at her during the night, even to the point of entering her dreams. "You said something when we were making love that kind of got me thinking. When I asked what more I needed to know about your people." She paused, looking down into his eyes; he said nothing, but nodded his encouragement. "Actually, I think you said 'not now' about telling me more. That's what you said when I asked what I didn't know," she added, feeling her face flush.

"That's what I said," he repeated softly, a slight smile playing at his lips. But despite the smile he didn't look all that happy, she noticed.

"So, it got me wondering," she continued, forcing her voice to sound upbeat, even though the inscrutable expression on his face was starting to making her nervous, "about what all I don't know about you. Of course, there are obvi-ously tons of things, but I mean, well..." She sucked in a breath and blurted the rest. "I'm talking about in bed." There, she'd put it out there. And-dang it all-the man blushed. Terribly. With a cough into his hand, he rolled onto his back and a little bit away from her.

"Is it okay if we talk about it now?"

Throwing an arm over his head, he blew out a heavy breath and stared at the ceiling. "You may ask me whatever you wish, Kelse," he said, his voice husky with emotion. "I'd never deny you anything. Never. I love you and I want you to know everything about me. G.o.ds, I want to know everything about you." His roving gaze lighted on her meaningfully. "Everything. So, yes, of course you should know."

"Know?" She waved her hand between them, urging him to continue.

"Our species are definitely very different," he allowed, his gaze resting on her for a beat before he stared upward at the ceiling again. Both of his cheeks were still a deep reddish hue. From emotion? Embarra.s.sment? Maybe even from arousal-she couldn't be sure.

She wanted to put him at ease, though, because he was way too self-a.s.sured to seem unsettled like this. "But we're a lot the same," she reminded him gently.

Again his gaze rested on her. "You've seen what I am, both sides of me, and you've seen the change I'm capable of. But you've no idea all the things I've done in this war-"

"You've already said that-"

"Or the people I've killed. Killed. With my own hands, Kelsey, and my own power. If you only understood, truly understood-"

"Are you trying to scare me?"

"I'm trying to make you understand that you don't know what I really am. I am an alien species; don't fool yourself that I'm human." The coldness from last night had returned, as if he dared her to believe him what she knew him to be: a good man.

"You're fighting a war," she said, thinking of her father and all the endless political fracases he'd been involved in. "I'm not naive about all this stuff, Jared. In a war lives will be sacrificed, and it's part of the cost-"

But he cut her off. "As a Refarian, my s.e.xuality is different from yours," he whispered in a voice so quiet, she nearly missed it. In fact, she leaned closer toward him to be sure she really had heard him.

"Wh-what?"

He set his jaw for a moment, his black eyes narrowing to slits, and then hissed, "I said that my s.e.xuality is different from yours." He closed his eyes in what appeared to be mortification.

"Uh, I don't think so."

"Think so!" he cried angrily, his eyes flying open.

She lifted the satin sheet that covered the length of his body and made a point of staring down at his groin area for a long moment. Then she swung her gaze back to his face. "It went in just fine, thank you very much. Repeatedly, I might add. Very human in its functions, I've gotta say. Or perhaps universal might be more accurate."

"Kelsey, it's not the, uh, equipment that I'm speaking of." He groaned, staring up at the wood-beamed ceiling overhead. "Don't you understand?"

"Not even remotely."

Jared blew out a frustrated sigh and rolled over to the edge of the bed, putting his back to her. In All's name, he'd never found himself in a situation quite so uncomfortable and complicated and sad in his life. And he'd lived through quite a host of situations; from being captured by Veckus to losing his virginity at seventeen to being lost in his Change for a full day once and unable to shift back. That had been more than awkward, to have his soldiers wonder why their commander seemed determined to stay in his most natural state. Fortunately no one had mentioned it when he finally found his way back to his other self's form.

But this... this moment eclipsed all of those previous occasions. And it didn't help matters that the woman was just so determined, so frank and unconcerned about his royal status. Everyone he knew had been intimidated by him at one point or another. But not Kelsey. Behind him he sensed her waiting, and it only made what he had to tell her all the more horrible. She would hate him. If she'd been angry about his seeing inside of her without her per-mission, what would she now think about this new revelation? Forget the horrid shame of it-she would feel betrayed. She would have to. He should have revealed everything last night before taking her across the bonding threshold. But you loved her; you wanted her... you were afraid of frightening her off.

Silence, you idiot! he told himself. You are a fool, frail king, and you never last at love, so why offer your wretched advice now?

She stirred on the bed behind him, edging closer. He raised one hand over his shoulder to halt her progress. "Please," he begged.

"I'm lost here, Jared."

Well, he thought, that makes two of us. He buried his face in his hands and prayed to All that she'd understand him, and that his genetic differences wouldn't send her shrieking from the bedroom. He reviled the part of himself he was about to unveil to her. It was the one thing about being D'Aravnian that he'd always loathed. He loved his Change-it was peaceful and blissful and sated every craving in the entirety of his nature.

But this-this that he had to tell her-he despised in himself.

And yet she had to know. It was only fair that he tell her everything. She would learn it inside their bond soon enough.

"I have cycles," he blurted, then lunged to his feet and bolted as far from her as he could possibly get, all the way to the distant side of the room, by his reading sofa in the corner. Keeping his back to her, he stood there like a cornered animal. How appropriate, he thought with a pained laugh. He heard her bare feet, quiet on his hardwood floor as she edged closer to him. Of course she wouldn't let it go, but would pursue him all over the d.a.m.nable compound until she squeezed out every ounce of truth about his s.e.xual makeup.

When she'd almost reached him, he moved again-to the fireplace where he braced his hands on the mantel. He wished he weren't naked; he felt totally exposed, vulnerable.

One warm human hand settled on his back-over his terrible scar, of all places. He flinched, but she didn't move, saying, "You saw everything in me, remember? It's only fair that I know whatever this is about you." Her soft, melodious voice was like a balm to all his lifelong wounds. He'd always been exotic, no matter where he went, always different-a warrior, a king, a killer, a changeling-when all he'd secretly wanted, for so many years, was to be normal and loved. To be common, of all things. To be a simple man, a writer or a builder, perhaps.

But this one touch from an alien woman had him shaking from the crown of his head to the very tips of his toes. "Cycles," he repeated unsteadily. "My kind experience them." Still he refused to face her. The shame was too overwhelming. Gazing into the fireplace, he wrestled to find words, but none seemed to offer themselves.

At last, it was Kelsey who spoke. "What kind of cycles?" she asked in a soft voice, reaching a hand to stroke his hair. Black hair turning silver; hair that proved what he was about to tell her. "Jared?" Kelsey prompted when he did not answer. "What kind of cycles?"

He took a deep, stilling breath and turned to face his mate. "Refarian mating cycles," he answered in as even a voice as he could muster, and as cryptically as he could phrase his reply, even though he was certain Kelsey would never back down, not his determined human.

"But what does that mean?" she asked. Dropping her hand to her side, she faced him. "And don't tell me you don't know, because I can tell it means something, Jared."

He glanced down at her, standing there just beside him, and slipped one large palm around her waist "Come closer." She leaned against him, her face open and waiting. In the past few nights he had yearned to cycle with her. For the first time in his life, he had opened-ever so slightly-to the idea. Now his face burned with the absolute humiliation of it. Bowing his head, he whispered the truth, a barely audible sound. "Mating urges," he told her.

She pressed closer, slipping one arm around his neck to draw him closer toward her. "What?"

It took everything inside his brave warrior's heart to meet his love's gaze, but he did so, and their eyes locked in the half darkness. She'd heard him-she simply hadn't understood.

"My line experiences mating cycles. Body heat, urges." he answered, forcing a clinical tone. "It is the way with my kind. Mating fever, blood fever. It has many names. All mean the same: We rut like animals." He spit the words, unable to mask his horrible self-derision. She frowned, her auburn eyebrows. .h.i.tching together into a tense line of concentration. Even now, he could see the scientist in her making calculations, attempting to comprehend. Finally, she nodded, crimson blush creeping upward from her own neck into her fair face.

"Well, Jared," she said, licking her lips thoughtfully, "that's certainly an interesting detail to your species."

"Shameful," he snarled.

She slipped both of her arms around his neck, nuzzling closer against him. Instantly he felt more secure

with the woman; he felt loved. She laughed softly. "You obviously don't need mating cycles." She glanced meaningfully toward his bed. "I mean, honestly, Jared!" She lifted a gentle hand to cup his face. "You're on fire when it comes to, well, that."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence." He coughed, still feeling an outrageous amount of embarra.s.sment, but somehow breathing easier all the same.

"How often?" she asked, c.o.c.king her head sideways. "I've no idea, actually," he answered honestly, blowing out a heavy breath. "To date, I have never experienced one. Which is"-he paused, wondering how to frame it to her-"well, more than a bit concerning. It is the only way in which I might sire children. The only time I'm fertile, Kelsey." Here it was -the next revelation, the one she might find unpardonable.

"Oh," she said, a soft, swooshing sound of realization. "Oh, that's... not good.""Not good," he agreed. "And it doesn't take a scientist to realize that, does it?""Maybe you have to be mated-"He cut her off. "You don't."She tried again, her eyebrows lifting hopefully. "Or of a certain age-""I pa.s.sed it long ago.""Or maybe it takes, I don't know, practice," she tried, her voice rising in frustration."Thea has been through at least seven cycles already, and she's four years younger than me.""Oh, c.r.a.p," she said, her shoulders sagging a bit.He drew a deep breath. "There's more," he cautioned, praying in his heart that the next revelation would not crush her-or send her fleeing from him."Okay." She nodded, swallowing visibly. "Go on."He lifted a hand and stroked the length of her curling cascade of auburn hair. So beautiful-more beautiful than he deserved in a lifemate. "I am at my peak of fertility right now. That is, if I were to actually cycle, the chance of conception is at its highest point," he answered solemnly. "But very soon I will pa.s.s into maturity."

"Maturity?"

He coughed again, avoiding her gaze. "It's a euphemism among my people. It means I will grow infertile,"

he explained, reaching a hand to his own hair. "This silver that you see? It is a first indication of my maturing."

"Maturing," she repeated, running her fingertips over his short, bristling hairs. As if she needed to inspect

the evidence to truly believe him.

"It happens quickly for the male of my species." He swallowed hard and added, "Usually."

"So you enter this maturity, your hair turns silver and you... can't reproduce any longer?" she asked nervously.

"You have the gist of it." He wanted to pretend that his voice hadn't sounded nearly as mournful as it had. But she'd noticed-of course she had; her intelligent eyes were alight with questions.

"It can't possibly be that simple," she said, but after he'd stared at her for one intense moment, she frowned, whispering, "Can it?"

"You never ate your chocolates," he said, reaching around her for the unopened golden box where it rested on the mantel. "Perhaps now would be a good time?"

"I don't want chocolate." She scowled at him. "I want the truth."

His hand tightened about her waist-anything to hold her here with him, to keep her from fleeing. Finally, in a low voice, he gave her the truth she sought. "I am on borrowed time," he said, tugging at his short hair by way of explanation. "Do you see now? For my kind, this is not a small thing."

"You're only thirty!" she exclaimed, her eyes ringed white with what seemed both shock and something else he couldn't place. Horror? Frustration?

He dropped his voice to a calming timbre. "This disturbs you."

"You're young, Jared." She shook her head adamantly. "You're very young. Not an old man. And what does it mean, 'grow infertile'? This doesn't make any sense. You're a guy! They stay fertile until they die."

"Men of my species experience the change," he answered. "Not the women. And men of my line experience it very prematurely. Very. It will come upon me soon; I feel sure of it. Months, perhaps. Not years. We're a hot-blooded, strange lot, the D'Aravni. Some say ours is a pure bloodline, closer to the true Refarian nature than most Refarians now."

He sighed, hating the unfairness of it. He'd never bothered with the idea of heirs or children, had never wanted them until now, with her. Now, he finally understood-he had been waiting for her. His heart had belonged to her, even if his memories had not. His sweet, precious Kelsey; he ached to give her a child that would somehow weave their two utterly disparate genes together in the form of one beautiful baby. Maybe her auburn hair and clear eyes with his darker skin? Or her fair skin and his black hair and dark eyes? Any child of theirs would be perfectly beautiful-and perfectly loved.

In a very quiet voice, staring at the floor, she asked, "Can you still have s.e.x? After this change? Because if not, you can tell me that-"

"G.o.ds, yes!" he roared, laughing and blushing painfully at the same moment. "Much vigorous and pleasing s.e.x, I am told-no concerns about that. In fact, some say... well, that the desire increases afterward, and the joinings become far more... pa.s.sionate."

She teased him with her eyes, but he didn't miss how her face had turned a lovely pink color. "That doesn't sound half-bad."

He gave her a shy grin. "Maybe it's some sort of gift from the G.o.ds to compensate for the loss of... well, the other."

Her eyes darted about the room as she thought about what he'd told her. "But they could bank your sperm," she reflected clinically, the scientist in her coming to the fore., "I mean, couldn't they? They can do that with human men-easily."

"Yes, they can, ah, bank my sperm," he agreed, smiling at her directness even in the midst of such a painful discussion. "But it wouldn't remain viable for very long."

"That makes no sense whatsoever," she exclaimed. "With your technology-"

"It's because I'm D'Aravni."

"Explain what you mean."

"The fire can be pa.s.sed only by natural conception." He hoped she could understand something that even among his own line had always been considered mystical. "My other self-the energized one you first met-the only way we pa.s.s that along is by the act itself. And that is the part of me that is Arganate D'Aravni. It is the part of me that requires an heir."