.....it seem as though it's just been yesterday that I was a human in rags seeking and begging for spare change to acquire the next high. In my drug addled mindset, I wandered far and wide in search of more drug to starve off my agony. Until that one moment where I found myself tumbling and fighting for my life as some strange man was trying to eat me on a boat party. Perhaps that when my life had change course for the some part better at least. I was stronger, I was somewhat more durable than your average human. It was then that I truly felt alive than when I was "alive." Various incidents happen from then on, until the human government finally discovered my kind and cordon us within a city where we were mostly starved and begging for sc.r.a.p from the more established members of zombiekind.

So, there I was, starving and begging for sc.r.a.p. Back to the alley of my begining, digging through trash pile for a morsel of sc.r.a.p. It was then that I felt a force pulling me and hurling me around and around and around. I eventually found myself in grand palace, with some human looking at me like some insect and to this day I can still remember their words most fondly "He'll do."

Oh yes, He will do indeed!

and Indeed I do. Before I knew it, I had helped myself to the delicious buffet before me. Admitedly the knights was little hard on the teeth but a few punches to their helmet and that delicious gray matter just ooze out ready to be slurped, like crabs. One of them was rather hard to down, but once I figure it probably don't matter where I hit them, it was a cinch to deal with these walking soup cans. Just hit them where their armor doesn't protect, or no armor there.

I must admit, stripping these soup cans of their covering was not an easy matter, but it can be done. I didn't kill them immediately of course, because killing them immediately would undoubtly spoil the flavor, dead flesh doesn't have a good taste fresh flesh. Instead after I manage to dis"armed" a few of them, I went for the rather weak looking ones in the background.

The weak looking ones were mages and as for the mage, terribly weak but have a rather nice fatty crunchy taste to them, although their scream was very annoying. Oh, and those fireball and spell that they were casting, they had to chant, which gave me plenty of times attack them. You know the secret to beating a mage? It's quite simple, just go for the throat or the eyes first, if they can't speak, they can't cast their little spells.

After eaten maybe four.....no.....seven....no six, six people because I left one as an after snack. I'm a lot things but I'm not that much of a gluttony. So, from my interaction with my "snack" I eventually learn about this new world that I was summoned to, and of course you can guess my excitement. I was happy, I was terribly, terribly overjoyed.

You see, I am in a world where the law belong to the strong, and was I strong? h.e.l.l yes I was!

All in all, it was a very enjoyable buffet, especially when I saw the look on the face of that one knight when I was digging in his female companion's brain, it was hilarious. Perhaps the sight of me feasting on his comrades made my snack quite a lot more cooperating, which was a good thing of course.

Now let's talk about one of my favorite dishes. Brain Shot! Now that's a food with a kick!

First we take some brain, diced it up into little cubes. Find a shot gla.s.s, well.....or as close to a shot gla.s.s cup as you can, this world is terribly behind the times even though they had teleportation magic, they still don't have any decent alcohol but one simply had to improvise in this trying time. So, I had some woodcrafter made me these tiny little wooden cup which was useful for my recipe. Shuck the diced brain and add to a shot gla.s.s. Top with the Spicy c.o.c.ktail Sauce, add some horseradish, lemon juice, black pepper and pepper vodka. Stir together and shoot down your mouth!

Incidentally, can you believe how expensive black pepper are? They were selling it for 15 gold an ounce, an ounce! An average man on this world survive with less than 10 silver a month. A gold coin are equal to 60 silver. However that's nothing compare to the vodka, that one I had to trek all the way to Gabilgathol, the city of the Dwarves to acquire it. It seem that only human are primitive barbarians in this world whether other races seem more advance and enlighten that rest of these bozos.

I used to hate human you see, I utterly despise the species known as human. They so quick to criticize, so quick to judge without understand what someone else is going through. I despise myself because I am human as well. They keep on bothering me, they keep criticize me, complain about me, "oh how sorry his parent must have felt that he turn out to be such a failure." To end it all, to keep the guilt and the criticism at bay, I turn to drug. Oh what bliss, what wonderful bliss, to not give a f.u.c.k to what anyone said, to not care about what they think of me...and for a time it was good.