There are seldom fewer than a thousand patients within, and, independent of a whole regiment of male and female nurses, sick-bay-men, servants, cooks, _et id genus omne_, there is a regular staff of officers, consisting of a captain--of what use I have yet to learn--two medical inspector-generals, generally three or four surgeons, the same number of regularly appointed a.s.sistant-surgeons, besides from ten to twenty acting a.s.sistant-surgeons [Note 1] waiting for appointments, and doing duty as supernumeraries. Of this last cla.s.s I myself was a member.

Soon as the clock tolled the hour of eight in the morning, the staff-surgeon of our side of the hospital stalked into the duty cabin, where we, the a.s.sistants, were waiting to receive him. Immediately after, we set out on the morning visit, each of us armed with a little board or palette to be used as a writing-desk, an excise inkstand slung in a b.u.t.tonhole, and a quill behind the ear. The large doors were thrown open, the beds neat and tidy, and the nurses "standing by." Up each side of the long wards, from bed to bed, we journeyed; notifying the progress of each case, repeating the treatment here, altering or suspending it there, and performing small operations in another place; listening attentively to tales of aches and pains, and hopes and fears, and just in a sort of general way acting the part of good Samaritans.

From one ward to another we went, up and down long staircases, along lengthy corridors, into wards in the attics, into wards on the bas.e.m.e.nt, and into wards below ground,--fracture wards, Lazarus wards, erysipelas wards, men's wards, officers' wards; and thus we spent the time till a little past nine, by which time the relief of so much suffering had given us an appet.i.te, and we hurried off to the messroom to breakfast.

The medical mess at Haslar is one of the finest in the service.

Attached to the room is a nice little apartment, fitted up with a bagatelle-table, and boxing gloves and foils _ad libitum_. And, sure enough, you might walk many a weary mile, or sail many a knot, without meeting twenty such happy faces as every evening surrounded our dinner-table, without beholding twenty such b.u.mper gla.s.ses raised at once to the toast of Her Majesty the Queen, and without hearing twenty such good songs, or five times twenty such yarns and original bons-mots, as you would at Haslar Medical Mess. Yet I must confess we partook in but a small degree indeed of the solemn quietude of Wordsworth's--

"--Party in a parlour cramm'd, Some sipping punch, some sipping tea, But, as you by their faces see, All silent--and all d.a.m.ned."

I do not deny that we were a little noisy at times, and that on several occasions, having eaten and drunken till we were filled, we rose up to dance, and consequently received a _polite_ message from the inspector whose house was adjoining, requesting us to "stop our _confounded_ row;"

but then the old man was married, and no doubt his wife was at the bottom of it.

Duty was a thing that did not fall to the lot of us supers every day.

We took it turn about, and hard enough work it used to be too. As soon as breakfast was over, the medical officer on duty would hie him away to the receiving-room, and seat himself at the large desk; and by-and-bye the cases would begin to pour in. First there would arrive, say three or four blue-jackets, with their bags under their arms, in charge of an a.s.sistant-surgeon, then a squad of marines, then more blue-jackets, then more red-coats, and so the game of _rouge-et-noir_ would go on during the day. The officer on duty has first to judge whether or not the case is one that can be admitted,--that is, which cannot be conveniently treated on board; he has then to appoint the patient a bed in a proper ward, and prescribe for him, almost invariably a bath and a couple of pills. Besides, he has to enter the previous history of the case, verbatim, into each patient's case-book, and if the cases are numerous, and the a.s.sistant-surgeon who brings them has written an elaborate account of each disease, the duty-officer will have had his work cut out for him till dinner-time at least. Before the hour of the patient's dinner, this gentleman has also to glance into each ward, to see if everything is right, and if there are any complaints. Even when ten or eleven o'clock at night brings sleep and repose to others, his work is not yet over; he has one other visit to pay any time during the night through all his wards. Then with dark-lantern and slippers you may meet him, gliding ghost-like along the corridors or pa.s.sages, lingering at ward doors, listening on the staircases, smelling and snuffing, peeping and keeking, and endeavouring by eye, or ear, or nose, to detect the slightest irregularity among the patients or nurses, such as burning lights without orders, gambling by the light of the fire, or smoking.

This visit paid, he may return to his virtuous cabin, and sleep as soundly as he chooses.

Very few of the old surgeons interfere with the duties of their a.s.sistants, but there _be_ men who seem to think you have merely come to the service to learn, not to practise your profession, and therefore they treat you as mere students, or at the best hobble-de-hoy doctors.

Of this cla.s.s was Dr Gruff, a man whom I would back against the whole profession for caudle, clyster, castor-oil, or linseed poultice; but who, I rather suspect, never prescribed a dose of chiretta, santonin, or lithia-water in his life. He came to me one duty-day, in a great hurry, and so much excited that I judged he had received some grievous bodily ailment, or suffered some severe family bereavement.

"Well, sir," he cried; "I hear, sir, you have put a case of ulcer into the erysipelas ward."

This remark, not partaking of the nature of question, I thought required no answer.

"Is it true, sir?--is it true?" he continued, getting blue and red.

"It is, sir," was the reply.

"And what do you mean by it, sir? What do you mean by it?" he exclaimed, waxing more and more wroth.

"I thought, sir--" I began.

"You thought, sir!"

"Yes, sir," continued I, my Highland blood getting uppermost, "I _did_ think that, the case being one of ulcer of an _erysipelatous_ nature, I was--"

"Erysipelatous ulcer!" interrupting me. "Oh!" said he, "that alters the case. Why did you not say so at first? I beg your pardon;" and he trotted off again.

"All right," thought I, "old Gruff. I guess you are sorry you spoke."

But although there are not wanting medical officers in the service who, on being promoted to staff-surgeon, appear to forget that ever they wore less than three stripes, and can keep company with no one under the rank of commander, I am happy to say they are few and far between, and every year getting more few and farther between.

It is a fine thing to be appointed for, say three or four years to a home hospital; in fact, it is the a.s.sistant-surgeon's highest ambition.

Next, in point of comfort, would be an appointment at the Naval Hospital of Malta, Cape of Good Hope, or China.

Note 1. The acting a.s.sistant-surgeons are those who have not as yet served the probationary year, or been confirmed. They are liable to be dismissed without a court-martial.

CHAPTER SIX.

AFLOAT. A STORM IN BISCAY BAY. A WORD ON Ba.s.s'S BEER.

For the s.p.a.ce of six weeks I lived in clover at Haslar, and at the end of that time my appointment to a sea-going ship came. It was the pleasure of their Lordships the Commissioners, that I should take my pa.s.sage to the Cape of Good Hope in a frigate, which had lately been put in commission and was soon about to sail. Arrived there, I was to be handed over to the flag-ship on that station for disposal, like so many stones of salt pork. On first entering the service every medical officer is sent for one commission (three to five years) to a foreign station; and it is certainly very proper too that the youngest and strongest men, rather than the oldest, should do the rough work of the service, and go to the most unhealthy stations.

The frigate in which I was ordered pa.s.sage was to sail from Plymouth.

To that town I was accordingly sent by train, and found the good ship in such a state of internal chaos--painters, carpenters, sail-makers, and sailors; armourers, blacksmiths, gunners, and tailors; every one engaged at his own trade, with such an utter disregard of order or regularity, while the decks were in such confusion, littered with tools, nails, shavings, ropes, and spars, among which I scrambled, and over which I tumbled, getting into everybody's way, and finding so little rest for the sole of my foot, that I was fain to beg a week's leave, and glad when I obtained it. On going on board again at the end of that time, a very different appearance presented itself; everything was in its proper place, order and regularity were everywhere. The decks were white and clean, the binnacles, the bra.s.s and mahogany work polished, the gear all taut, the ropes coiled, and the vessel herself sitting on the water saucy as the queen of ducks, with her pennant flying and her beautiful ensign floating gracefully astern. The gallant ship was ready for sea, had been unmoored, had made her trial trips, and was now anch.o.r.ed in the Sound. From early morning to busy noon, and from noon till night, boats glided backwards and forwards between the ship and the sh.o.r.e, filled with the friends of those on board, or laden with wardroom and gunroom stores. Among these might have been seen a sh.o.r.e-boat, rowed by two st.u.r.dy watermen, and having on board a large sea-chest, with a naval officer on top of it, grasping firmly a Cremona in one hand and holding a hat-box in the other. The boat was filled with any number of smaller packages, among which were two black portmanteaus, warranted to be the best of leather, and containing the gentleman's dress and undress uniforms; these, however, turned out to be mere painted pasteboard, and in a very few months the c.o.c.kroaches--careless, merry-hearted creatures--after eating up every morsel of them, turned their attention to the contents, on which they dined and supped for many days, till the officer's dress-coat was like a meal-sieve, and his pantaloons might have been conveniently need for a landing-net. This, however, was a matter of small consequence, for, contrary to the reiterated a.s.surance of his feline friend, no one portion of this officer's uniform held out for a longer period than six months, the introduction of any part of his person into the corresponding portion of his raiment having become a matter of matutinal anxiety and distress, lest a solution of continuity in the garment might be the unfortunate result.

About six o'clock on a beautiful Wednesday evening, early in the month of May, our gallant and saucy frigate turned her bows seaward and slowly steamed away from amidst the fleet of little boats that--crowded with the unhappy wives and sweethearts of the sailors--had hung around us all the afternoon. Puffing and blowing a great deal, and apparently panting to be out and away at sea, the good ship nevertheless left her anchorage but slowly, and withal reluctantly, her tears falling thick and fast on the quarter-deck as she went.

The band was playing a slow and mournful air, by way of keeping up our spirits.

_I_ had no friends to say farewell to, there was no tear-bedimmed eye to gaze after me until I faded in distance; so I stood on the p.o.o.p, leaning over the bulwarks, after the fashion of Vanderdecken, captain of the Flying Dutchman, and equally sad and sorrowful-looking. And what did I see from my elevated situation? A moving picture, a living panorama; a bright sky sprinkled with a few fleecy cloudlets, over a blue sea all in motion before a fresh breeze of wind; a fleet of little boats astern, filled with picturesquely dressed seamen and women waving handkerchiefs; the long breakwater lined with a dense crowd of sorrowing friends, each anxious to gain one last look of the dear face he may never see more.

Yonder is the grey-haired father, yonder the widowed mother, the affectionate brother, the loving sister, the fond wife, the beloved sweetheart,--all are there; and not a sigh that is sighed, not a tear that is shed, not a prayer that is breathed, but finds a response in the bosom of some loved one on board. To the right are green hills, people-clad likewise, while away in the distance the steeple of many a church "points the way to happier spheres," and on the flagstaff at the port-admiral's house is floating the signal "Fare thee well."

The band has ceased to play, the sailors have given their last ringing cheer, even the echoes of which have died away, and faintly down the wind comes the sound of the evening bells. The men are gathered in little groups on deck, and there is a tenderness in their landward gaze, and a pathos in their rough voices, that one would hardly expect to find.

"Yonder's my Poll, Jack," says one. "Look, see! the poor la.s.s is crying; blowed if I think I'll ever see her more."

"There," says another, "is _my_ old girl on the breakwater, beside the old cove in the red nightcap."

"That's my father, Bill," answers a third. "G.o.d bless the dear old chap?"

"Good-bye, Jean; good-bye, la.s.s. Ah! she won't hear me. Blessed if I don't feel as if I could make a big baby of myself and cry outright."

"Oh! d.i.c.k, d.i.c.k," exclaims an honest-looking tar; "I see'd my poor wife tumble down; she had wee Johnnie in her arms, and--and what will I do?"

"Keep up your heart, to be sure," answers a tall, rough son of a gun.

"There, she has righted again, only a bit of a swoon ye see. I've got neither sister, wife, nor mother, so surely it's _me_ that ought to be making a noodle of myself; but where's the use?"

An hour or two later we were steaming across channel, with nothing visible but the blue sea all before us, and the chalky cliffs of Cornwall far behind, with the rosy blush of the setting sun lingering on their summits.

Then the light faded from the sky, the gloaming star shone out in the east, big waves began to tumble in, and the night breeze blew cold and chill from off the broad Atlantic Ocean.

Tired and dull, weary and sad, I went below to the wardroom and seated myself on a rocking chair. It was now that I began to feel the discomfort of not having a cabin. Being merely a supernumerary or pa.s.senger, such a luxury was of course out of the question, even had I been an admiral. I was to have a screen berth, or what a landsman would call a canvas tent, on the main or fighting deck, but as yet it was not rigged. Had I never been to sea before, I would have now felt very wretched indeed; but having roughed it in Greenland and Davis Straits in small whaling brigs, I had got over the weakness of sea-sickness; yet notwithstanding I felt all the thorough prostration both of mind and body, which the first twenty-four hours at sea often produces in the oldest and best of sailors, so that I was only too happy when I at last found myself within canvas.

By next morning the wind had freshened, and when I turned out I found that the steam had been turned off, and that we were bowling along before a ten-knot breeze. All that day the wind blew strongly from the N.N.E., and increased as night came on to a regular gale of wind. I had seen some wild weather in the Greenland Ocean, but never anything before, nor since, to equal the violence of the storm on that dreadful night, in the Bay of Biscay. We were running dead before the wind at twelve o'clock, when the gale was at its worst, and when the order to light fires and get up steam had been given. Just then we were making fourteen knots, with only a foresail, a fore-topsail, and main-topsail, the latter two close-reefed. I was awakened by a terrific noise on deck, and I shall not soon forget that awakening. The ship was leaking badly both at the ports and scupper-holes; so that the maindeck all around was flooded with water, which lifted my big chest every time the roll of the vessel allowed it to flow towards it. To say the ship was rolling would express but poorly the indescribably disagreeable wallowing motion of the frigate, while men were staggering with anxious faces from gun to gun, seeing that the lashings were all secure; so great was the strain on the cable-like ropes that kept them in their places. The shot had got loose from the racks, and were having a small cannonade on their own account, to the no small consternation of the men whose duty it was to re-secure them. It was literally sea without and sea within, for the green waves were pouring down the main hatchway, adding to the amount of water already _below_, where the chairs and other articles of domestic utility were all afloat and making voyages of discovery from one officer's cabin to another.

On the upper deck all was darkness, confusion, and danger, for both the fore and main-topsails had been carried away at the same time, reducing us to one sail--the foresail. The noise and crackling of the riven canvas, mingling with the continuous roar of the storm, were at times increased by the rattle of thunder and the rush of rain-drops, while the lightning played continually around the slippery masts and cordage.

About one o'clock, a large ship, apparently unmanageable, was dimly seen for one moment close aboard of us--had we come into collision the consequences must have been dreadful;--and thus for two long hours, _till steam was got up_, did we fly before the gale, after which the danger was comparatively small.

Having spent its fury, having in fact blown itself out of breath, the wind next day retired to its cave, and the waves got smaller and beautifully less, till peace and quietness once more reigned around us.

Going on deck one morning I found we were anch.o.r.ed under the very shadow of a steep rock, and not far from a pretty little town at the foot of a high mountain, which was itself covered to the top with trees and verdure, with the white walls of many a quaint-looking edifice peeping through the green--boats, laden with fruit and fish and turtle, surrounded the ship. The island of Madeira and town, of Funchal. As there was no pier, we had to land among the stones. The princ.i.p.al amus.e.m.e.nt of English residents here seems to be lounging about, cheroot in month, beneath the rows of trees that droop over the pavements, getting carried about in portable hammocks, and walking or riding (I rode, and, not being able to get my horse to move at a suitable pace, I looked behind, and found the boy from whom I had hired him sticking like a leech to my animal's tail, nor would he be shaken off--nor could the horse be induced to kick him off; this is the custom of the Funchalites, and a funny one it is) to the top of the mountain, for the pleasure of coming down in a sleigh, a distance of two miles, in twice as many minutes, while the least deviation from the path would result in a terrible smash against the wall of either side, but I never heard of any such accident occurring.

Three days at Madeira, and up anchor again; our next place of call being Saint Helena. Every one has heard of the gentleman who wanted to conquer the world but couldn't, who tried to beat the British but didn't, who staked his last crown at a game of _loo_, and losing fled, and fleeing was chased, and being chased was caught and chained by the leg, like an obstreperous game-c.o.c.k, to a rock somewhere in the middle of the sea, on which he stood night and day for years, with his arms folded across his chest, and his c.o.c.ked hat wrong on, a warning to the unco-ambitious. The rock was Saint Helena, and a very beautiful rock it is too, hill and dell and thriving town, its mountain-sides tilled and its straths and glens containing many a fertile little farm. It is the duty of every one who touches the sh.o.r.es of this far-famed island to make a pilgrimage to Longwood, the burial-place of the "great man." I have no intention of describing this pilgrimage, for this has been done by dozens before my time, or, if not, it ought to have been: I shall merely add a very noticeable fact, which others may not perchance have observed--_both sides_ of the road all the way to the tomb are strewn with _Ba.s.s's beer-bottles_, empty of course, and at the grave itself there are hogsheads of them; and the same is the case at every place which John Bull has visited, or where English foot has ever trodden.

The rule holds good all over the world; and in the Indian Ocean, whenever I found an uninhabited island, or even reef which at some future day would be an island, if I did not likewise find an empty beer-bottle, I at once took possession in the name of Queen Victoria, giving three hips! and one hurrah! thrice, and singing "For he's a jolly good fellow," without any very distinct notion as to who _was_ the jolly fellow; also adding more decidedly "which n.o.body can deny"--there being no one on the island to deny it.

England has in this way acquired much additional territory at my hands, without my having as yet received any very substantial recompense for my services.