"Ah well, there'll be others!" Beth laughed.

I stared around the room, watching in, well, awe really-there's no other word to describe it-as women danced with other women, women kissed other women, and women arrived and left with women. What struck me was how normal it all was. And why not? I thought back to the conversation I'd had with Joey when she'd told me being gay was nothing to be ashamed of, that it was totally normal and if people couldn't hack that, then it was their problem, not mine.

Looking round the place now, I felt, I dunno, at home. Like I'd waited all my teenage life for this moment; like anything that had gone on before was immaterial. This was a new chapter in my life, and I was going to grab it with both hands, not do what I'd done in the past and stick to doing something just because it was considered the "right thing to do."

"She's cute as well," Emily leant over and said in my ear, jerking her head towards another girl leaning on the bar, drink in hand.

I looked at the girl. Emily was right; she was kinda cute.

"You should go talk to her." Emily jerked her head back to the girl at the bar. "She's well hot. If I weren't straight, I'd have a crack at her."

Beth and I collapsed into giggles.

"Do you know what you sound like?" Beth playfully punched Emily on the arm.

I looked back at the girl. Yeah, she was hot, and if I didn't make a move now, I never would. I drained my glass and rose from my chair.

"Wish me luck!" I grinned down to Emily and Beth before wandering over in the direction of the girl, just in time to see her finish her drink and walk onto the dance floor. Within seconds she'd disappeared into the crowd and I was left standing next to the bar like a spare piece. I turned and looked back at Emily and Beth, shrugging then frowning in mock fury as they both collapsed into a fit of giggles again.

"Guess this whole 'picking up a girl in a bar' stuff isn't so easy," I said with a sigh as I sat back down.

"Maybe wait to be picked up, rather than doing the picking up," Beth said. "It'll happen when it happens, Immy."

"Yeah, that's just what Joey said to me," I said absent-mindedly.

"Who?" Emily looked at Beth and winked.

"No one," I replied. "Right, I'm gonna call it a night, girls. I'm not sure if this is me after all."

"You give up too easily," Emily said. "But yeah, I'll agree we should call it a night now."

"Until the next time," Beth said, finishing her drink.

A thought struck me as we all three walked home together, all arm in arm, giggling like a bunch of schoolkids. I figured that in the weeks since all the shit with Fickle, I'd become closer to Beth and Emily-closer to them than I had been in years. It was almost like me coming out to the pair of them had changed something, but it had changed it for the better. I was no longer a closed book to them, like when I'd been with Matt and hadn't wanted to talk about him, like, ever.

In the past I'd found it so difficult going out with them, having to endure the torture of a night of eyeing up boys, or talking about boys, or chatting with boys I really didn't want to chat with. Now I was happier because, I guessed, I was freer. I didn't have to pretend to be something I wasn't with them; I could actually be me, Immy Summers, and our friendship had blossomed because of it. Now I could open up to them, tell them what I was really thinking and feeling, and it felt great.

We said our good-byes and headed in our separate directions, with me arriving home shortly after eleven p.m. After passing the time of day with Mum and Dad, fending off questions about where I'd been, I took myself off up to my room and, on a whim, switched on the computer, happy once more to chat on the message board and on MSN. Fickle hadn't been seen or heard anywhere on the Lovers and Sinners message board for weeks, and I assumed she'd now taken up residence on the Ali and Jess website instead. Making a promise to myself that I would never, ever go on there to see what she was up to, or who she was talking to, I found I could cope with life back on the L&S message board. People knew, of course, that Fickle and I had become close, and then people knew, of course, that we were no longer together. I'd had the odd message of support on the board, and a few personal e-mails telling me to "keep my chin up", but soon my news became old news and everything quickly got back to normal again. Such is the life on an Internet message board.

I grinned as I saw Twiggy and Joey were online, and joined into their MSN conversation so that we were soon having a three-way chat, bouncing thoughts and ideas off each other and generally taking the piss out of one or the other. I saw a new message from Joey appear next to our three-way conversation box, and figured she wanted to talk to me alone, without Twiggy seeing.

Joey: You okay? It's fun talking to Twiggy but she does tend to just piss about a lot, LOL.

Barnaby Rudge: I'm good, thanks, yeah. You?

Joey: Yeah. You sound happy! What you been up to this evening?

Barnaby Rudge: I went to a gay club with my friends! It was the best! Such a laugh!

Joey: A gay club??? You ARE getting more confident, aren't you?!

Barnaby Rudge: I know! I surprised myself! Girls' only night. It was wicked.

There was a bit of a pause, so I went back to Twiggy's conversation, thinking that Joey was writing there. She wasn't.

Joey: Did you pull?

Barnaby Rudge: LMAO, no!

Joey: Any hawt girls there?

Barnaby Rudge: Hah, hah! Yeah, a few.

I put a winking sign next to that, just to kinda let Joey know I'd seen some girls I liked.

Joey: Cool.

Barnaby Rudge: It was, yeah. I felt a bit like a kid in a sweet shop, to be honest. So much choice! I bet half of them were straight, though; I mean, I was there with my two straight mates, after all.

Joey: LMAO.

There was another, longer pause. Then: Joey: Are you looking for someone, then?

Barnaby Rudge: Yeah, I s'pose I am. I guess I want to feel what I felt with Fickle again; those butterflies when you think about them, that rush of excitement when you know you're gonna see them, you know?

Joey: Yeah, I know! Listen, you wanna Skype?

Barnaby Rudge: Yeah, but I'll have to keep my voice down. Mum and Dad are in bed.

Joey: Mine too! We'll whisper.

We said our good nights to Twiggy and logged off from MSN, bringing up Skype, poking our tongues out at each other, like we always did when our videos flickered into life and our grainy webcam faces peered at each other.

"You've got eyeliner on!" Joey exclaimed, pointing at my face. "I don't think I've ever seen you with eyeliner on!"

"Well, I've been out, haven't I?" I did a silly pose, like a model pouting, and she laughed.

"You look nice." Joey nodded, smiling.

"Thanks! Are you saying I don't normally look nice?" I carried on pouting at her.

"Of course not!" Joey laughed.

"Meaning, of course not, I don't usually look nice?" I raised my eyebrows.

"You know what I mean," Joey said. "You always look nice."

She looked away from the webcam briefly.

"So what have you been up to tonight?" I asked.

"I spoke to Claire earlier." Joey smiled tightly.

"Great!" I said, meaning it. "And?"

"And nothing." Joey smiled again. "She was just on MSN and we had a quick chat, that was all."

"And, uh, is she still with whatserface?" I asked.

"Anna? Yeah, she's still with Anna. And very much in love, apparently." Joey nodded.

"Nice of her to tell you that," I said sarcastically.

"I can totally handle it," Joey said. "Maybe not six weeks ago, but I'm so over her now."

"And you know what?" I smiled at Joey. "I think I'm over Fickle at long last too."

"That's what we like to hear." Joey smiled back.

"I certainly think about her a lot less now," I said.

"Sounds like we're both getting there, then," Joey said.

"I finally figured I'd wasted enough tears and enough of my life on her," I said. "I deserve someone better than that."

"You do," Joey said.

"And my mates have been great about it all, and they said they'll come out to some bars with me, so maybe I'll strike lucky soon," I said, grinning at Joey.

Joey looked at her watch.

"Have you seen the time?" she gasped. "Gone midnight! I better go; I'm getting dragged into town tomorrow by Mum to buy my dad a birthday present." Joey mock yawned, fanning her mouth with her hand.

"'K," I said. "I need some beauty sleep as well."

"Yeah, you do!" Joey blew a raspberry at me.

"Cheek!" I blew one back.

"It's good to see you looking so happy, Imms," she said, smiling warmly.

"It's good to feel so happy," I replied, meaning it.

We said our good nights and I logged off, heading straight for bed. I lay in bed awhile, thinking about gay bars, girls, and Joey and had just started thinking that Claire must have been absolutely crazy to dump her, when tiredness overcame me and I fell fast asleep.

Chapter Twenty.

I woke up the next morning to a text from Twiggy, telling me she had a day off from the supermarket and did I fancy some cyber-karate on MSN later? I giggled as I read her text through bleary eyes.

It'll b like the old days, she wrote. B good 2 just piss about, just me and u, like we used to.

I sent her one back, telling her the challenge was on and that I'd see her online later in the afternoon. I spent the morning knuckling down to some college work, work that had been put on the back burner over recent weeks, primarily because I'd been too depressed over Fickle to even think about stupid studying.

I thought about Joey too, being dragged round the shops by her mum, and smiled to myself. Joey didn't really strike me as the shopping kind, certainly not if the numerous photos I'd seen of her were anything to go by. She was a lot like me, I thought; not really into fancy clothes, just the sort of gear you feel comfortable in and that you know will suit your style; bit of Jack Wills, bit of Superdry-jeans, oversized jumpers, Converse trainers, Airwalks, nothing too snazzy.

By lunchtime I figured I'd done enough work for a Saturday and texted Twiggy, telling her to get her arse onto MSN so I could kick it into touch. She arrived around ten minutes later, full of her usual corny jokes and tales of her lazy husband. I suddenly realised what fun I'd missed out on during those weeks when I was so wrapped up in Fickle that I seemed to forget about everything and everyone around me.

Barnaby Rudge: I just wanna say that I'm sorry if I got so caught up with all that Fickle business that I neglected you, Twigs.

Twiggy: LMAO, that's okay! I'm a big girl, I don't ever feel neglected.

Barnaby Rudge: Yeah, but you know what I mean.

Twiggy: I do. And thanks.

Twiggy paused.

Twiggy: And I'm sorry if I didn't fully understand what you were going through with Fickle, both when you were seeing her and when you weren't.

Barnaby Rudge: S'OK, Twigs.

Twiggy: And I know Joey feels bad about being the one to have to tell you about Fickle.

Barnaby Rudge: I know she does, but I had to know, didn't I?

Twiggy: She had her reasons for telling you.

Barnaby Rudge: I know, she told me. She didn't want me to get hurt. I understand.

Twiggy: Yeah, 'cos, like, if she ever thought she'd hurt you, she'd be devastated.

Barnaby Rudge: Okay, devastated is a bit OTT, Twigs, but I see where you're coming from. LOL.

Twiggy: Yeah, okay. LOL!

Barnaby Rudge: Anyway, perhaps she did me a favour in the long run.

Twiggy: Yeah? How?

Barnaby Rudge: I dunno, I guess all that shit with Fickle has kinda jerked me into action. I'm on the lookout for a new girlfriend now.