Barnaby Rudge: Sounds good to me.

A rush of butterflies took flight inside me. She wanted to see me again. She was desperate to see me again.

Fickle: I'll ring you about it later, yeah? I'm going out tonight so won't be on here.

Barnaby Rudge: Oh, right. You never said.

I felt deflated. Why? I guess I kinda thought she'd want to stick around and chat with me all night, like I wanted to with her.

Fickle: Last minute thing. Soz. You don't mind, do you?

Barnaby Rudge: Why would I mind? LOL! You going anywhere nice?

Fickle: Just out with mates. I can stay if you want?

Barnaby Rudge: Don't be daft!

I willed her to say she'd stay, that she'd changed her mind. But, instead: Fickle: Kewl! I won't be back till late so won't ring you till tommoz, yeah?

Barnaby Rudge: No worries.

Fickle: I meant it when I said I loved you, Immy.

Butterflies again. Millions of the little blighters.

Barnaby Rudge: I meant it too.

Fickle: I'm dead glad we met today.

Barnaby Rudge: Yeah, me too. Even if I was as nervous as hell.

Fickle: You're cute when you're nervous.

Barnaby Rudge: I'm daft when I'm nervous.

Fickle: You're not daft. You're lovely. When you walked towards me in the station today...WOW!

Barnaby Rudge: Shuddup!

Fickle: I mean it. I thought you were fit in your pictures but...whoa!

Barnaby Rudge: You're well fit too.

Fickle: So they say.

She put a winking sign next to that, which made me feel dead flushed. I imagined her winking at me, like she'd done in Costa Coffee that morning, and suddenly wanted to see her again more than I'd ever wanted to see anyone in my life.

Fickle: I better go.

Barnaby Rudge: So soon?

Fickle: Soz. I'll text you later, yeah?

Barnaby Rudge: K. Have a good evening.

Fickle: You too. I love you.

Barnaby Rudge: I love you too.

And then she was gone, and I was left staring at the screen, lost in thought and incredibly lonely.

Not wanting to be alone up in my room anymore, I went downstairs and chatted to Mum and Dad for a couple of hours before returning to my room once their TV programme started, kinda hoping that someone would be online to talk to. I wandered round various websites for a while, posting a few funny comments on the Lovers and Sinners website, saying hi to a few people on there that I knew, but all the while I was doing that, all I could think about was Fickle. Sighing, I was about to log off when I heard the familiar singsong ringing of Skype calling me. Joey.

"Hey, you!" I leaned in towards the screen, more from habit than from necessity. "That was quick! You back already?"

I looked at the yellow clock on my wall. It was just past nine p.m.

"Evening," Joey replied in a daft voice, which made me giggle. "Yeah, I said it would just be a quick one tonight."

"I didn't know you were around. You're not on MSN." I looked at MSN and saw that Joey was showing up as offline to me.

"I set my status to offline, thassall," I heard Joey say.

"You can do that?" I frowned, just as Joey's webcammed face finally flickered into life and appeared on my screen. She was poking her tongue out at me.

"'Course you can, you clot!" Joey snorted. "You don't know much about MSN, do you?"

I poked my tongue back out at her.

"'K, so I'm not so hot on technology." I shrugged. "I just talk on it, I didn't bloody well design it!"

"It's a handy little thing, actually." Joey nodded. "Especially when you're on the net to work. It stops people bothering you."

"Am I bothering you now?" I narrowed my eyes at Joey on the screen and she rolled her eyes.

"Who rang who, durr?! Nah, you're all right!" Joey looked at me. "Anyway, I thought you'd be all loved up with Fickle on here tonight." Joey spoke in lowered tones.

"She's gone out." I pulled a sad face.

"Right." Joey nodded. She paused. "I had a text off Claire today."

"Oh yeah?" I looked hopefully at the screen. "What did it say?"

"Just said sorry for being a wanker but she hoped I understood." Joey shrugged.

"And do you? Understand, I mean," I asked.

"Suppose, yeah." Joey looked thoughtful. "At least she had the grace to text me and say sorry. I'm grateful for that."

I watched Joey carefully. "You always see the positives in people, don't you?" I asked.

"You have to, kiddo." Joey rolled her eyes. "No point in being bitter. Move on, that's what I say."

I looked at Joey and thought just what a nice person she was. I know that the word "nice" is sometimes pooh-poohed by English language groupies as being, I dunno, insipid and non-descriptive. But I figured in Joey's case it summed her up perfectly. She was just...well...nice. She always seemed cheerful and saw the good in everything and everyone.

"So when are you seeing Fickle again?" Joey peered at me on the screen, one eyebrow mischievously arched.

"Shh!" I said, glancing over my shoulder, half-expecting to see Mum or Dad standing there. "We have to use hushed tones when I talk about her."

"Of course." Joey pulled a sorry face. "I forgot, sorry!"

"It's fine. It's just, well, I don't want them to know anything. Not just yet."

"Totally understand."

"Do your family know about you?" I asked, hoping I hadn't overstepped the boundary.

"God, no!" She pulled a horrified face, adding, "And I want it to stay that way."

"And in reply to your question earlier, we're supposed to be hooking up again in two weeks' time, just as soon as Fickle finds enough for her train fare," I whispered.

Joey gave me the thumbs up on the screen, then made a zipping action with her hand across her mouth, making me laugh.

We chatted on for a good hour afterwards, Joey mainly telling me about her trip to Scotland and how she had so much work on at college in the coming weeks, it was unreal. I listened to her talking away but my mind kept wandering to Fickle, wondering where she was, and kinda wishing I'd asked her more about where she was going and who with. I periodically looked down at my phone, knowing darned well that if she'd texted then I would have heard it beep, but kinda hoping that I might've not heard it. You know how you do?

As it was, Fickle didn't text me back until way gone midnight. I'd long since finished talking to Joey and had gone to bed, trying desperately to stem the feelings of jealousy inside me when, finally, I heard my phone beep in the darkness and there she was.

Soz, honey, it said. Didn't realise the time. U had a gd night?

I texted her back, just kinda saying I'd had an okay night and hoped she had too, even though I didn't really mean it, and that was about it. She sent one back saying she missed me and I sent her one saying the same thing, and then asked her where she'd gone, but she didn't reply again. It was dead late, I figured, to be sending texts back and forth, but it still didn't stop me from missing her like crazy and having, like, a million questions in my head.

Chapter Fifteen.

Sunday, as it turned out, was a bit dreary after my totally brilliant Saturday with Fickle. She never did answer my question about who she'd gone out with, so I figured it was better not to push it with her, instead just sending her a few texts asking her if she was having as crap a Sunday as I was. We didn't even get a chance to talk on MSN much that day, either, just catching a few moments here and there, but it wasn't nearly as much or as intense as I'd wanted it to be.

Now here I was, back in the college canteen on Monday morning, feeling, well, just a bit flat, really. It was back to the reality of a heavy week of work after such a fantastic weekend. It was shortly after ten and I'd just plonked myself down at a table when I spotted Emily coming in through the door, phone in hand, deep in thought as she punched away at its keyboard. She looked up and spotted me as I waved at her, then picked her way through the maze of tables and chairs to reach me.

"My mother texting me," she said, waving her mobile at me. "Why does she do it? I mean, whose mother ever texts them? Does yours text you?"

"Er, no," I said, amused, as Emily tutted loudly at her phone and flung it into her bag.

"Exactly! So why does mine feel the need to text me?" Emily looked horrified. "And as for using text-speak. Guh! I mean, she's forty, for crap's sake!"

"Good weekend?" I asked.

"Not bad, yeah," Emily said, finally seeming to relax a little. "You?"

"Great, yeah," I replied, looking down at my hands.

"I'm glad I caught you, Immy," Emily said. "I wanted to run something past you."

"Oh yeah?"

"About Matt."

"Oh." I wondered how I should react. "Okay."

"The thing is-and I don't know how you're going to take this-but the thing is that, well." Emily pulled a face.

"That?" I raised my eyebrows.

"That Beth's, well, Beth's kinda seeing him."

"Is that it?" I laughed.

"You're not bothered?" Emily stared at me.

"God, no!" I replied truthfully.

"Well, Beth'll be relieved!" Emily laughed. "She's been dreading telling you."

"She didn't let the grass grow much, did she?" I said.

"She liked him when you were seeing him, you know that, don't you?" Emily looked embarrassed.

"I didn't, no. But it doesn't bother me if she did," I said. I meant it too. "Anyway, I thought Sarah Burgess was hunting him down? That's the last I heard, anyway."

"I think Beth got in there first." Emily winked at me. "But she did wait a decent amount of time to start talking to him and, well, he kinda asked her out, so it's not really her fault."

"But I'm so not bothered. Honest!" I shrugged.

I looked carefully at Emily.

"Anyway, I'm seeing someone else now," I said slowly.

Emily perked up.

"Beth mentioned you'd said something about some guy to her," Emily said.

"Did I?" I said, playing dumb.