'Dinner in a fancy restaurant was always a big deal for me,' Julie admitted, 'but instead of spending an hour trying on clothes that didn't fit me and feeling crap about myself, I threw this dress on and ran out the door. It feels great.'

'And I left my angel baby without feeling guilty I've spent all afternoon with her, which would never have happened in London. I was lucky if I got to kiss her goodnight on a Friday.'

'Well, Lou, it looks like things have worked out well,' Julie said. 'Did you ever think this time last year that you'd be living back in Dublin, running your own department, madly in love with your baby and getting on so well with Mum?'

'Not in my wildest dreams. I have to say, since I had Clara, Mum has been brilliant. We never argue any more it's like we have a completely different relationship.'

'It's because you've let her in,' Sophie said.

'What do you mean?'

'You've always been so independent and capable. Never needing any help. In fact, if any of us was in trouble we'd go to you for advice. There was no space for Mum to mother you. She had no role in your life. But then Clara came along and you let her in. It's made her so happy she loves being closer to you.'

'I'd never thought about it like that.'

'Did you ever think you'd be working and supporting a family?' Julie asked Sophie.

'Not in a million years.' She laughed. 'Me working? This time last year I was out Christmas shopping, spending horrendous amounts on presents no one wanted. Buying clothes I didn't need. Going to endless parties. This year it'll be a quiet one at home with Jack and Jess, watching movies, eating home-made popcorn and being a family.'

'Do you miss it? The high life?' Julie wondered.

'Occasionally I miss the buzz of going on a shopping spree, and I do miss the amazing holidays, but mostly no. And when I do buy myself something, it's really special because I've saved up for it and worked hard for the money to buy it. So, no, I don't miss it and I'm a much better mother. Even though I'm working, the time I spend with Jess now is quality time. Instead of dropping her off at endless activities, I'm properly focused on her when we're together. And I'm giving her a realistic view of life and instilling good values into her sweet little head, not filling it with rubbish about diamonds and money. I also like being good at something, having my own life Sophie Devlin, head booker at Beauty Spot. It's nice. It makes me feel important in my own little way.'

'How are you and Jack getting on?' I asked.

She lifted her nail to chew it, but stopped and put her hand back down. 'In a way it's been good that he's working in London. When he comes home on Thursday night I'm glad to see him. I've missed him. It's almost as if we're dating again. It's by no means perfect and we have a long way to go. Our life has been completely pared back and it's just us. No bells and whistles, no five-star hotels or glitzy balls, just him and me in our apartment. I'm still nervous about him losing his job again, but I'm not angry any more. What happened is in the past. It's over. We are where we are and, overall, it's turned out to be a good thing.'

'What about you, Julie?' I asked.

'I made it.' She grinned. 'I made it to the triplets going to school. It was the longest marathon in the history of the world, but I did it and I didn't kill them or harm them. I got them to school and now Tom goes to play-school two mornings a week and life is suddenly clear again. The fug I've been in for so long, where I couldn't see past piles of laundry, has gone. I'm finding myself again. The old Julie is coming back and it feels really great. And you know what? I was getting into a rut of feeling sorry for myself poor me, with four kids and no help, poor me, with no spare cash, poor me, I can't lose weight. And then the thing with Harry happened and it jolted me right out of my self-pity party and made me see how lucky I am. How blessed I am. How I have everything I've ever wished for and didn't know it. I'm more appreciative of everything now and I've even inherited a long-distance daughter. Actually, guys, I have a bit of exciting news.'

'Jesus, you're not pregnant again?' I asked.

'Louise,' she said, 'if I was pregnant again, I'd stick this fork in my eye. My news is that a while ago I started posting comments, an online stream-of-consciousness really, on this mums' website and I got a big reaction to what I was saying. Anyway, the Evening Herald picked up on it and they want me to write a weekly column about motherhood and marriage just rant about life, really.'

My sisters' mouths dropped open and they looked at me with admiration.

'My God, that's fantastic.' Sophie hugged her.

'Well done, Julie.' I kissed her.

'Stop, you'll make me cry. It's not that big a deal and the money is crap, but it's something for me. My own little thing.'

'It is a big deal,' I said. 'You've devoted your life to those kids and it's great that you now have this outlet for yourself and, of course, a means to make a bit of extra cash.'

'We can give you plenty of material,' Sophie said.

'You'd never be stuck for content with this family.' I laughed.

'It's pretty amazing how this year has changed us, though, isn't it?' Julie said. 'Even Gavin's grown up, although I'm not sure how long the wildlife career will last.'

'Remember how he flushed Goldie down the loo and overfed Skipper so we found him floating and bloated at the top of the fish bowl?' Sophie giggled.

'I give him six months, tops,' Julie said.

'I give him five,' I said. 'Unless Mum moves out to Washington and does his laundry for him.'

'Are we being a bit harsh? Were we so mature at twenty-four?' Sophie asked.

'Yes, we were,' I reminded her. 'We were all working and living in our own apartments.'

'I envy him, though. America will be great. I wish I'd travelled more,' Julie said.

'I wish I'd never given up work,' Sophie said.

'I wish I'd moved home years ago,' I confessed.

'So, we're not perfect.' Julie laughed.

I looked at my sisters. 'You know, the strange thing about moving back is that all the things I ran away from are the very reasons I wanted to come home.'

'How do you mean?' Sophie asked.

'I ran away because Dublin was too small. I wanted a big city, bright lights, the best college, the top law degree, the finest law firm. I wanted to be independent. I wanted to get away from Mum constantly trying to mother me. I wanted to get away from being one of the Devlin sisters. I wanted to live my own life without having to answer to anyone. And you know what? It's not all it's cracked up to be, but it took having a baby to make me realize that I love having Mum to fuss over me, I love family lunches and that if my dishwasher breaks down all I have to do is call Dad and he'll come over and fix it. I love the fact that Clara will grow up surrounded by family. But, most of all, I love being one of the Devlin sisters.'

We raised our glasses and toasted ourselves.

Threescompany: MY FINAL MESSAGE.

Mums, I have some very exciting news. As of 10 January, you will be able to read my views and comments in the Irish Evening Herald every Thursday. I have you all to thank for that. Your response to my ramblings has helped me land a dream job. I'm absolutely thrilled, so thank you all very much.

I'll be writing as Threescompany. I've decided to remain anonymous so I can be truly honest without hurting anyone's feelings or causing a family feud!

The triplets are now in school until one thirty every day bliss! And my toddler is in play-school two mornings a week from nine till twelve, so I now have six hours a week to myself. You might think I'd use the time sensibly to get on top of my laundry, washing and cleaning. Sod that! I step over the mess, go back to bed and read my book with a cup of tea because, ladies, that is what makes me happy. I've waited over five years for these precious hours and I sure as hell am not going to spend them hoovering.

Am I Zen now that I have this time to myself? No. I wish I could say I was. I wish I could say I was more patient, less snappy with the boys, but I'm not. What I am, though, is happier within myself and I see now how important that is. Being a stay-at-home mum is the most challenging, thankless job there is. We mums need to 'feed our souls'. I know it sounds a bit hippie-dippy but it's true and it's important. We need to find one thing that we can call our own, whether it's planting tomatoes in the garden or going for a walk by the sea or working in a soup kitchen. It doesn't matter what it is, it just matters that we find it and allow ourselves the time to do it.

Taking the time to do something for ourselves doesn't mean we love our children any less. It doesn't mean we're not great mothers. It just means we know we need something too. We're people. We exist as individuals. We're not invisible.

The other thing I've learnt over the last year is how important family is. I wouldn't have got through it without my sisters. I've given out about them in the past, and there were times when they drove me mad. But this has been a defining year for all of us. We always slag our little brother for not growing up, but we girls needed to grow up too and, thankfully, we have. The three of us have overcome big obstacles this year and have survived, bruised and battered, but the better for it.

I know that I for one am a better person since the whole palaver with my husband and the non-affair. I was becoming dissatisfied with my life, picking holes in it, wanting more, wanting a better life, a different life, a nicer life. Well, Mums, I know now that I have the life I always wanted. Is it perfect? No. Are there still days when I want to book a one-way flight to Brazil? Yes, plenty. But every night before I go to sleep, I peep into the boys' bedrooms, and as I watch their little bodies rise and fall as they dream, I thank God for what I have and I really mean it. I wouldn't change a thing.

Acknowledgements.

I would especially like to thank Rachel Pierce, my editor, whose help and advice were invaluable to me; Patricia Deevy, for all her enthusiasm and support; Michael McLoughlin, Cliona Lewis, Patricia McVeigh, Brian Walker and all the team at Penguin Ireland for making the publishing process so enjoyable.

Thanks also to all in the Penguin UK office, especially Tom Weldon, Joanna Prior and the fantastic sales, marketing and creative teams; to my agent Marianne Gunn O'Connor who is a pleasure to know and work with; to Hazel Orme, as always, for her wonderful copy-editing; to Anwen Hooson for her hard work on the publicity front; to Mark White for his insight into the world of corporate law.

Thanks to my friends for being so honest and often hilarious about the trials and tribulations of motherhood; to Mum, Dad, Sue, Mike and my extended family for their unwavering support and loyalty. It means so much. This book is dedicated to Mike, the best brother in the world.

Thanks to my nephews, Mikey, James, Jack, Sam and Finn, and to my nieces, Cathy and Isabel all unwitting muses for this book; to Hugo, Geordy and Amy, my inspirations and the loves of my life.

And, saving the best for last, thank you, Troy.

Finally, to all the mothers out there, I salute you!

end.