The news of my imminent departure spread like wildfire, and Meredith was the first to come and see me. 'Are you sure?' she asked, sitting down opposite me and getting straight to the point.

I nodded. 'Yes, I am. I can't do it any more, Meredith. I'm not happy. I feel guilty all the time. When I'm here I want to be with Clara, and when I leave early to see her before bedtime, I feel guilty for that too. Besides, I've always wanted to be my own boss, so this could work out very well.'

'I wish you'd stay. I need other women, other mothers, to shatter the glass ceiling with me. It's not easy being the only female senior partner.'

'I'll be breaking the ceiling, just in my own way, in my own time. I'm not giving up my career, I'm readjusting it to fit my daughter in. And, in a strange way, it's all fallen into place. I'm not even taking a salary cut the Irish firm is paying me the same salary and I get to run my own securitization department.'

Meredith looked surprised. 'My God, that's great. And do you get to set your own hours?'

'More or less. They know me by reputation, so they're aware that I'm hard-working. When I told them I'd be working from home quite a bit, they were fine about it.'

Meredith sat back in the chair. 'Good for you. To be honest, Louise, I couldn't do this without my husband's support. He ferries Hermione to and from creche every day, and when she's sick, he takes the day off work to look after her. I'm going to miss having you around as a fellow journeywoman, but you seem very happy and relieved, so your decision must be the right one for you and Clara.'

'I really think it is. Clara's only got one parent, so I really need to spend time with her and she'll grow up with her cousins and grandparents around. I'll have a support network that I just don't have here.'

'And you need it. We working mums need support to be able to do what we do. It sounds like a great set-up I'm tempted to move there myself.'

'No way! You have to keep flying the flag at this male-dominated firm. I'm sorry I won't be beside you I tried, Meredith, I really did, but it just wasn't working.'

'Life's too short to make yourself miserable. Besides, it sounds like you're going to be a very big fish over there in Dublin.'

'It's a much smaller pond, but it'll be interesting and challenging, which is good and lucrative, which is also important.'

Meredith grinned. 'Hell, yes! We don't do this for the good of our health.'

'Do you think women will ever be able to have it all, the way men do?'

'Yes but only if we can park the guilt. The problem is, we're programmed to feel guilty about everything. Do you think a man feels guilty if he eats a cream cake? If he doesn't ring his mother for a week? If he gets drunk and raucous at the Christmas party? If he doesn't tuck his kids into bed every night? If he doesn't cook dinner for his kids or forgets to buy their favourite yoghurts? If he's ten minutes late to pick his kids up from a birthday party? No! Men don't feel guilty and it frees up their time and energy to focus on work.'

I nodded. 'I'd never really felt guilty about anything until I had Clara. Now guilt is ever-present in my life and it's exhausting.'

'We need to extract it from our DNA,' she said. 'Well, speaking of guilt, I need to go and do some work. Good luck, Louise. I'll miss you.'

I went to hug her. 'Good luck to you, too. Don't stop being a trail-blazer and watch out for the sharks coming up behind you.'

'I will.' Meredith walked back out into the corporate world we had both studied and worked so hard to succeed in. I was sure she'd end up as managing partner of the firm. I really hoped she would we needed role models like her for our daughters to know that anything is possible.

Later that day, Dominic slithered into my office, smiling broadly. He had been keeping a very low profile since returning in shame from New York. I had barely seen him, which had been wonderful.

'Louise,' he said, throwing his arms up in the air in mock horror, 'I've just heard the news. I can't believe it. Is it true? Are you really leaving us?'

I continued working on my computer. 'Yes.'

'So you're moving back to the old sod.' He sat down in the chair opposite me.

'If you're referring to Dublin, yes, I am.'

'From the dizzy heights of London to the third largest firm in Dublin. It'll be quite a change.'

'Aren't you happy, Dominic, that with me out of the way there's a vacancy? Oh, sorry, I forgot. You screwed a client's daughter and lost the business that's not quite senior-partner material, now, is it?'

Dominic's face reddened. 'We all make mistakes, Louise. Don't forget how furious Hanks and Alex were with your purchase-price fuck-up.'

'I think Hanks was probably slightly more annoyed with you for having sex with his baby girl.'

'She was eighteen.'

'Only just.'

Dominic crossed his legs slowly and sneered, 'Alex has got over it now. He played golf with my old man this weekend and said it was water under the bridge.'

I smiled at him. 'I wouldn't get too comfortable, Dominic. Alex reckons you've set yourself back a good five years. I hope Hanks's daughter was worth it.'

He leant forward in his chair. 'Don't you find it sad that after all those years of study and hard work you're ending up back in Dublin changing nappies? It's a big come-down.'

I continued typing. 'I don't see running my own department as a come-down. Call me crazy, but a come-down to me would be something like getting sent home from New York in disgrace for sleeping with a client's daughter and having that client break your nose.'

Dominic sighed dramatically. 'Ah, Louise, I'll miss our lively banter.'

'Me too. It's always such a joy to spend time with you.'

'Well, I'd better go and do some work. I'll need to clear my files so I can deal with your clients when you go home to push a pram around.'

'Do me a big favour and try not to have sex with any of their children. Keep it in your pants, there's a good boy.' I grinned as he stormed out of my office.

Later, when I'd tucked Clara into bed, I called Julie for an update on what was going on at home. Christelle had come to stay with them for a week and I was dying to know how it was going.

'How's your new daughter?' I asked.

'Great,' Julie gushed. 'I swear, Lou, she's a really lovely person. She's not at all needy or awkward. She arrived yesterday to the mayhem that's our home and just slotted in. She seems to like the madness. She said that, being an only child, she'd always wished for siblings and now she has four lunatics.'

'What do the boys think of their sister?'

'They don't really understand the sister part. I knew they'd get confused if I tried to explain that she was their half-sister so I just said she was a very special friend who's like a big sister. But the brilliant thing is that they love her and do everything she says. She tells them what to do in her gorgeous French-American accent and they obey. She even gave them their bath tonight and there was no flooding. I'm thinking of asking her to move in permanently. And Tom just follows her around staring at her adoringly because she reads him books and pays him attention, which he so rarely gets. He's completely besotted with her.'

'What about Harry?'

'He's still a bit shifty. He's not sure how to be a dad to a teenage girl he's never known. It's a difficult role to know how to fill, but he's getting better. And the fact that the rest of us get on well with her makes it much easier for him. It's actually lovely to have another female in the house.'

'I'm thrilled it's working out.'

'How are you? Did you tell work you're leaving yet?'

'Today.'

'Oh, my God, what did Alex say?'

'He was really nice about it he said he'd miss me, was sorry to see me go and all that. I'm so relieved it's over. I was dreading it. But now it's out and everyone knows. There's no going back. I hope I've made the right decision. It was really hard telling Alex I actually felt quite emotional.'

'Hardly surprising. It's been your life for twenty years. But you have made the right decision. It's going to be brilliant having you home and Clara will love having cousins to play with. What did Dominic say?'

'He tried to wind me up but I nipped him in the bud. I won't be sorry to see the back of him.'

'The great thing about your new job is that you get to hire your own staff, so no more snakes like Dominic.'

'Alleluia.'

'How's Clara?'

'Angelic, as always. By the way, have Mum and Dad met Christelle?'

'Oh, yes. They had us over for lunch today and this will give you a laugh ...' Julie told me what had happened.

When Mum opened the door, she took Christelle's hand, led her into the lounge and shouted loudly and deliberately, 'Welcome to Eye-ur-land. I hope the journey was not too long.'

'Mum!' Julie tried to get her attention.

'Hold on, Julie, I'm talking to Christelle. Paris is a very bee-ooo-ti-ful city.'

Christelle looked at Julie. 'Is your mum OK?' she whispered.

'Mum!' Julie snapped.

'Bonjour, Christelle.' Dad came into the room wearing a red beret. 'Je suis le papa de Julie. Je suis un big admirer of la France. Allez les blues.'

Christelle smiled politely. 'Bonjour.'

'Tu es tres welcome in our maison.' Dad looked very pleased with himself.

'Merci,' Christelle said.

'Je pense que Sebastien Chabal is the best rugby player dans le monde.'

Harry arrived in from the car with the boys. 'Why is your dad speaking bad French to Christelle?'

'I've been trying to tell them,' Julie explained.

'Voulez-vous un cheese puff?' Mum held out a plate to Christelle.

'Non, merci,' she said.

'Mum, Dad,' Julie said loudly, 'Christelle spent the first ten years of her life in New York. Her English is perfect.'

'Well, why on earth didn't you say so?' Mum fumed.

'You might have let us know.' Dad took off his beret.

'Why don't we eat?' Julie suggested.

'Did someone say food?' Gavin came in.

'Nice of you to get up,' Dad said, tapping his watch. 'Until I retired I'd half a day's work done by this time.'

'You must be Christelle.' Gavin ignored Dad and went over to shake her hand.

'Yes, hi.'

'Welcome to the family. They're all slightly mad, as you may have noticed, but they don't bite.'

She giggled. Harry glared at Gavin.

'I've made beef bourguignon for our guest,' Mum said.

'I'm very sorry, Mrs Devlin, but I'm a vegetarian,' Christelle announced.

'Me too,' Gavin said, as Harry choked on his wine.

'Since when?' Julie asked.

'Since ages.'

'Was that not a burger I saw you stuffing down your neck yesterday?' Dad smirked at his son.

'Yes a veggie burger.'

'Gavin seems to go through phases of not eating meat, depending on whose company he's keeping,' Dad told Christelle.

'What do you do? Are you a student?' Christelle asked.

'Yes, Gavin, what is it that you do exactly?' Dad asked.

'I'm in the process of landing a job in climate change.'

They all roared laughing well, everyone except Christelle and Gavin.

'What does looking for a job imply to you?' Dad asked Christelle. 'Because to Gavin here, it seems to mean posting out a few CVs and then sitting around on your arse waiting for the phone to ring.'

'Well, you do have to wait around to hear back from companies,' Christelle said. 'Actually, I'm about to start a science degree. I'm hoping eventually to work on alternative energies.'

'Wow! That is so cool. Alternative energy is where it's at. I spent the summer in London protesting the new terminal at Heathrow and everyone was talking about how alternative energies are the only way forward.'

'Really? I'd love to hear more about that protest.' Christelle looked impressed.

'Why don't we go for a drink later? I'll tell you all about it,' Gavin suggested.

'No way,' Harry hissed in Julie's ear. 'Do something! Gavin is her uncle.'

'He isn't related to her,' Julie pointed out.