'This may come as a surprise to you, Gordon, but women don't actually aspire to have hairy chests.' I smiled as he roared laughing.

'I gotta say, I like you, Louise. You're a sassy broad. Alex told me you were the best around and he was right. Cheers.'

We clinked glasses and Gordon continued to praise me while Dominic sat back and simmered.

My phone rang. It was Alex.

'Hi, are you on your way?' I asked.

'Louise, I need you to come back to the office right away. Do not let on to Gordon that anything is wrong. Make an excuse and get back here now.' He hung up.

Shit, what the hell was going on? He'd sounded furious.

'What's wrong, Louise? Do you have nanny problems? Do you need to go home to the baby?' Dominic smirked.

'No, Dominic, one of the other cases I'm working on needs me. I'm so sorry, Gordon, I have to leave you. Work calls. You know how it is. I never let my clients down.' I milked it.

'Always on. I admire that. I'll be in touch, Louise. Thanks for everything.'

'It's been a real pleasure. Maybe we could do lunch the next time you're in town.'

'I'd like that,' he said.

As I was leaving I turned to Dominic. 'Don't stay up too late, Dominic. I need you clear-headed tomorrow. You have work to do.'

'I'm usually in before you, these days,' he drawled.

I didn't have time to retort. I had to get out of there. My legs were shaking. Why did Alex need me back? What had gone wrong?

Alex was standing outside my office when I rushed in. He shook the signed documents in my face. 'I thought we agreed on a purchase price of thirty million,' he said, trying to keep his voice calm.

'We did.'

'Well, then, please explain to me why on all these signed versions it says fifty million.'

'You must be mistaken.' I took the copies from his hand and went to the purchase price, which I knew from memory was on page nineteen of the document. This time I retched out of shock. It clearly stated fifty million. SHIT!

'Look, Alex, this is a typo. It's a mistake. We agreed thirty million. It never changed. I'll sort it out, don't worry. This is not going to be a problem. I will have it changed immediately.'

'Louise, I want the revised documents on my desk first thing in the morning. You'll have to explain to Gordon why he has to sign new versions. It's a very serious oversight. You know how important this was to me personally. I'm extremely disappointed. The old Louise would never have made this mistake. Fix it.'

After he left, I opened my laptop and went through the final draft version thirteen that Hamilton had sent me. I scrolled down to the red-lined parts in clauses seven and eleven and then went to the purchase price page there it was, underlined in red, fifty million.

I went back and checked draft twelve of the documents the purchase price was thirty million as agreed. The bloody computer had picked up the change in draft thirteen and underlined it, but I hadn't seen it. If I'd printed out the pages of the thirteenth draft, as I usually did, I would have seen the red line but I'd done it onscreen. I had only checked clauses seven and eleven. I had missed this because I was tired and sick. I had completely messed up. I wanted to bawl, but I didn't have time. I could fall apart later. Right now I had to fix this. I called Hamilton. I decided to go on the offensive.

'We have a problem,' I snapped. 'Your execution documents have the purchase price at fifty million when you know we agreed on thirty million as stated and documented in previous correspondence.'

'Calm down. I have no idea what you're talking about.'

'The purchase price on the documents you produced for Gordon to sign state the purchase price as fifty million. We need to sort this out now, tonight, or it will look very bad for all of us.'

'Hold on a minute, it was up to you to check the execution draft and note any changes to it or typos in it.'

'I checked the two clauses we had changed. I presumed that you wouldn't have altered the purchase price. I have emails that state very clearly that we agreed a price of thirty million, never fifty. Twenty million pounds is a large discrepancy.'

'I'll have to speak to my client. He may not agree to amend it. You know as well as I do, Louise, that if this went to court, you'd lose.'

'Are you threatening me?' I was shaking with fear, rage and exhaustion.

'No. I'm merely reminding you that the contract your client signed, the contract you agreed on, would stand up in court. The change in purchase price is your oversight, Louise, not mine.'

'Don't mess me around, Hamilton. You know this was your error. In draft twelve it states thirty million, in draft thirteen it's fifty. Just draw up amended execution documents and have them ready for signature tomorrow.'

'I'll talk to my client and see what I can do. Tomorrow may not be possible.'

'Tomorrow, Hamilton, no later.'

'I don't think you're in a position to order me about, Louise. I'll call you when I've had a chance to review the situation.'

I swallowed my pride. 'Hamilton, help me out here, please. I need this sorted by tomorrow. My arse is on the line.'

'Are my ears deceiving me? Is Louise Devlin, the tigress of Higgins, Cooper & Gray, begging?'

'Don't be an arsehole.'

'I'll see what I can do.'

I knew that Hamilton would amend the price and come back to me. Lawyers didn't screw each other around like that. It was a typo, a mistake, and we both knew it, but it had been up to me to catch it. I was now going to have to explain to Gordon that I had messed up. He wouldn't have such a high opinion of me tomorrow and, worst of all, I had let Alex down. And Dominic was going to gloat all over me. He'd also make sure everyone in the office knew. The snake would hang me out to dry. But I had no one to blame except myself.

I picked up my laptop and headed home. I thought I'd cry in the taxi, but I was too tired, too stressed, too overwrought. I had never, ever made a mistake like that. I knew lots of people who had but not me, never me. I always printed out the final draft and looked over it, scanning each page for any changes or amendments. This time I hadn't. I had cut corners. I had been too exhausted to do my job properly and look what had happened. Disaster.

I wearily entered the apartment to find Agnes and Clara asleep on the couch. Clara was lying across Agnes's considerable chest, breathing deeply. I had an urge to hug my baby, to smell her, to hold her cheek to mine. I gently picked her up. She stirred, opened her blue eyes, gave me a sleepy smile and snuggled her head into my neck. That was when I began to cry.

Agnes woke up to find me sitting on the couch beside her, holding a sleeping Clara, crying my eyes out.

'What happening? Did you lose job?' she asked.

'No,' I whispered. 'But I'm in very big trouble. And when I came in I was so depressed and then I saw Clara my baby, my beautiful baby who I wanted to give back, the baby I didn't want, who drove me crazy, who I shouted at, who I yearned to give away and I just ... I just ... wanted to hold her so badly and when I picked her up she smiled and I ... I uh I uh ...' I sobbed.

Agnes patted my arm. 'Baby makes bad day go away. You take baby into your bed tonight and you sleeping well.'

'Yes, I think I'll do that.'

Agnes left, and soon I was curled up in bed, holding my angel baby close. I cried myself to sleep.

30.

Sophie.

Selling on eBay became an addiction. I spent all the time Jess was in school online, checking how my items were doing. Some of the sales were very slow, so I had to slash the prices. But I'd already made ten thousand euros, which was brilliant. I hadn't told Jack yet. I was keeping the money in an account I'd opened with the Post Office. I was hoping to make at least four times that with the rest of my sales.

My favourite Chloe coat went for 370 euros; I'd paid 1,400 for it. Whoever bought it was getting a real bargain. Still, it was a relief to have money coming in. It made me feel less useless.

Jack was spending all day every day in his office on the phone. I could often hear shouting and lots of cursing. We barely spoke any more. He was wrapped up in trying to get us out of the mess we were in and I was busy trying to make some money and keep Jess occupied now that all her after-school activities had ceased.

In the meantime a lot of people were leaving increasingly abusive messages on my phone because we still owed them money. Our gardener had threatened to come back and dig up all our plants, my personal trainer had threatened to sue me, and Jess's drama teacher said we were nothing but common thieves who had stolen a term of teaching from her. It had been a horrendous few days telling people they weren't going to get paid and dealing with their anger.

The only people who were nice about it were the management at Jess's school, who said we were by no means the only parents who hadn't been able to pay the last term's fees and that Jess was welcome to finish up, but that they would need payment up front if she was coming back next year.

Mimi had been wonderful. She was so kind. I couldn't stop crying when I told her we had to let her go and she had ended up comforting me. 'Don't worry, Sophie. I find another job.'

'I'm so sorry, Mimi. I'm so ashamed that we can't pay you for the last six weeks. Please take this instead.' I handed her a pair of diamond stud earrings.

'Sophie, I not taking these. You are nice family. You very good to Mimi. You have hard times now. It OK. I have save money. I be fine.'

'Oh, Mimi, I wish I'd been smarter and saved money too. I've been so stupid.'

'You just young and having good time. This is lesson for you. Next time you not shopping so much and you putting money in bank.'

'I think we're going to lose the house,' I said, blowing my nose.

'House is just bricks. I grow up in tiny house. But I happy. Clothes and jewels not making you happy. You needs be happy in here.' She tapped her heart. 'We have saying in Philippines, Ang kaginhawaan ay nasa kasiyahan, at wala sa kasaganaan.'

'What does it mean?'

'Well-being found in happiness, not in prosperity.'

'You're very wise, Mimi. I'm really beginning to see how true that is now. I just don't want Jess to be homeless. Where will we live? How will we pay our rent? Who is going to give Jack a job?'

'Jack is good man. He love you and Jess. He work very hard so you have nice things. He making a mistake. Everybody making mistake in life. Jack intelligent, he be OK.'

'I hope so, Mimi.'

When I told Jess that Mimi was leaving, she was inconsolable. She cried for hours and kept asking, 'But why, Mummy, why does Mimi have to go?'

I tried to explain that Daddy's job was different now and for the moment we had to stop spending money. But her poor little mind didn't understand why her life was being turned upside-down.

Jess spent Mimi's last day curled in her lap, crying. Mimi was like a second mother to her or, if I'm being honest, Mimi was like a first mother to her. Jess spent more time with her than she did with me. I was too busy being at Jack's beck and call, making sure that his needs were my top priority. Well, that was going to change. From now on, Jess came first in my life.

'Now, now, my big girl.' Mimi wiped Jess's tears away. 'No more crying. You need be a good girl for your mummy and daddy.'

'I love you, Mimi, please stay.' Jess threw her arms around Mimi's neck.

'I have to go, Jessie, but you know you always be in here.' Mimi put Jess's little hand up to her heart. 'You are my special girl. I will always think of you and send you big kisses in the sky.'

'But, Mimi, who's going to do my hair in French plaits?'

'You mummy will.'

'But she doesn't know how to do it the way you do.'

Mimi held Jess's face in her hands. 'Jessie, listen to me, baby girl. You very lucky. You have a mummy and a daddy who love you very much. You are wonderful girl. You sweet and kind and gentle, but the world not so gentle, so you need be a bit stronger, OK? Remember what Mimi say?'

'Be nice to everyone, but if someone hits you, hit them back.' Jess sniffled.

'Good girl. Now, Mimi has to go. Give me one last big hug.'

Jess clung to her like a drowning man. I eventually had to peel her away so Mimi could leave. We both sobbed as she drove away in her friend's car, waving all the way down the drive.

I was still avoiding everyone and had been receiving concerned messages from Victoria and others saying that if I was still ill after all this time I clearly needed to go to hospital and have tests.

I knew I had to come clean. I decided to tell my family over the weekend. Louise had left a message saying she was coming home and, if I could be bothered to get back to her, she'd like to see me. She sounded stressed and fed-up. I could relate to that. Julie hadn't called in a week, but Mum was stalking me. She knew something was up and I couldn't fob her off any longer. She was having a big lunch on Sunday for the whole family to welcome Clara home, and she said if I didn't come, she'd drive over and drag me out.

As it happened, I ended up having to tell them on Friday night ...

Shortly after I had put Jess to bed, Jack came home. He stumbled into the kitchen. He was shaking and sweating.

'Jesus, Jack, what is it?'

'I did everything, Sophie. I've just spent all day in court trying to fight it, but the bank's repossessing the house. They're coming for the keys tomorrow ... at one.'

I stared at him. 'What did you say?'

He began to cry. 'I begged them, I pleaded with them I offered them ten different alternatives but with so many people defaulting on their mortgages, they're not letting anyone off the hook. They're clamping down on all arrears.'

I gripped the kitchen counter. 'Are you telling me we're going to be homeless tomorrow?' I whispered. I was having difficulty breathing.

Jack came over to me. 'I'll call my father. I'll ask him for a loan. We'll rent somewhere small until we get back on our feet.'

'NO! You are not calling that smug, arrogant bastard. All he ever does is put you down. You're not going to give him the satisfaction of asking him for money. I'd rather live on the street. I'll call my family. We can move in with my parents for a few weeks.'

Jack looked relieved. 'If you're sure, that would be brilliant. I really didn't want to call my father, but I thought I'd have to.'

'How are we going to get all our things out in time? Is there a removal truck coming?'

Jack looked down at his hands. 'The bank wants the furniture, too.'

I looked at him, my husband, the man I loved, the man I admired, the man I trusted. I knew that if I opened my mouth I'd say something terrible ... vicious ... unspeakable. So I turned and ran upstairs.

I screamed into my pillow for ten minutes. It was happening. My worst nightmare was coming true. We were losing our home. How was I going to explain to Jess when she woke up that she'd never see her bedroom again? Oh, God, how had we ended up here? What had I done to deserve this? Why was this happening to me? Should I use the money from the eBay sales to rent somewhere? No, I needed time to think, time to figure out what to do. We'd stay with Mum and Dad and get our heads together. Come up with a plan. But what plan? How would we ever get out from under this debt? I screamed into the pillow again.

When I came up for air, I logged on to eBay, praying for something to lift my spirits. There was some good news: the diamond Cartier watch Jack had bought me for Christmas was in a bidding war, and they were up to 900 euros. It was worth so much more than that, but it didn't matter: every penny counted now.