'I'll see you for lunch at one, Alex,' I reminded him, determined to show Dominic that he wasn't the only one spending time with our boss.

Alex waved over his shoulder and hurried off to his meeting.

Dominic looked me up and down, his green eyes boring into me. 'Well well well, look who's back,' he said, and plonked himself down in one of the club chairs in my office. 'So it's true, you are Superwoman. I'm impressed. Three weeks and here you are.'

'Are you disappointed that I didn't decide to stay at home singing nursery rhymes and pumping breast milk? I know you've had your eye on my office, but I'm afraid you're just going to have to wait.'

'Au contraire, Louise, I'm glad to see you back. We lose far too many good women to motherhood. It would have been a travesty to see you go. I just hope you can sustain the pace. Babies can be very demanding.'

'Don't worry your pretty little head, Dominic. I'll manage just fine.'

'So how is little Tara?'

'Clara is thriving, thanks for asking.'

'Who's looking after her?'

'She's in a creche.' I didn't like talking to him about my daughter. I hated discussing anything personal in work.

'Creche? Isn't she only a few weeks old?'

'Yes. Now, tell me how the meeting went yesterday with Gordon Hanks.'

'I emailed you the details last night. You must have been too busy changing nappies to read them.'

I'd never wanted to thump someone so badly. He must have sent it after eleven, because I had checked my emails just before I'd fallen asleep. 'Well, I'll have a look at them now. I hope you've kept the notes clear and concise. Gordon is a very important client and a valued one. I don't want any slip-ups.'

'I'm aware of that. I just hope you can find the time to read my notes. If it all gets too much, don't hesitate to ask for help. I'm always available to oblige a colleague in need.'

'That's very reassuring to know. I could use some help right now, actually. I need a coffee, black, no sugar. Thanks, Dominic.'

He glared at me and flounced out. I sank into my chair. I needed to watch my back: he was ruthlessly ambitious. Still, I'd met his type before and had dealt with them the only way I knew how I'd worked twice as hard, was more prepared, more thorough, more professional, more conscientious and more skilful. In this world of male domination, we women had to be even better than our male counterparts to get the respect we deserved.

There was a knock. 'Just leave it with Jasmine,' I shouted.

Someone peered round the door. It wasn't Dominic, it was Meredith Baker. She was wearing a grey trouser suit with killer heels. Her hair and makeup were perfect. 'Is this a bad time?' she asked.

'No, not at all, I'm delighted to see you. Sorry, I thought you were someone else a weasel.'

'There's a lot of them around.' She grinned. 'How are you doing?'

'Good, thanks. I'm relieved to be at work again. I was worried I might have squatters in my office.'

'Believe me, there was a lot of talk about who was going to get your job if you couldn't cope with the baby. I heard some chubby guy with marbles in his mouth Dominic something or other spouting on in the canteen about how he was going to get your job because no woman could juggle the hours you have to put in as a senior partner with a baby.'

'The little shit.'

'Don't worry. I dealt with him.'

'Fantastic. What did you say?'

'I tapped him on the shoulder and introduced myself. "I'm Meredith Baker, senior partner and mother to a nine-month-old."'

'How did he react?' I was loving this.

'He came over all sickly sweet. He said of course he knew who I was. I was a legend in the office. He had meant no disrespect, but I was the exception rather than the rule.'

'Arsehole,' I muttered.

'My sentiments exactly. I told him he'd better get used to having mothers around him, because women were managing to juggle high-powered careers with having children. I said that men needed to raise the bar. We mothers were coming after their jobs.'

We roared laughing.

'I'd say that shut him up,' I said.

'Temporarily, but I'd watch him. He's a snake.'

'God, don't I know it.'

'Anyway, it's good to see you back and looking fantastic. How's the baby sleeping?'

'So far, she's great. I have a night nurse for another few weeks, so she'll be in a routine by then.'

'Well, good luck, and don't let that Dominic creep get to you.'

'Thanks, I won't.'

I spent the rest of the morning going through memos and emails. I had kept on top of the urgent ones at home, but now I wanted to deal with all of my correspondence and clear my desk and in-box. It felt wonderful to be back in my role as a lawyer. This was me; this was who I was; this was my identity. I was an expert in my field; I was in my comfort zone. I was in control, in charge, in the driving seat. At home with Clara I was still learning and making mistakes. I didn't like it. I wasn't used to being at sea: it was a new experience and not one that I was enjoying much. I still felt no great love for my baby. I liked her, she was sweet, but she didn't feel like part of me. I didn't feel like a mother. She didn't feel like a daughter. I felt protective and responsible for her well-being, but not particularly attached. She was just a baby.

I turned back to my computer. I didn't have time for navel-gazing: I was too busy. Besides, I was sure Clara would grow on me as she became more interesting, when she started walking and talking. Right now she was just a blob who drank milk, slept and pooped.

21.

Sophie.

Jack is due back today, thank God. I don't know what on earth is going on with my bank account I haven't been able to get any money out for three days. I had to borrow from Mimi this morning to pay for my coffee.

I'd left several frantic messages for Jack, but his phone was permanently switched to voicemail. Eventually, after the sixth, when I asked him to please have the courtesy of letting me know if he was still alive, he sent a brief text saying he was up to his eyes but he'd be back home today at about eleven.

I'd put a sundress and a clutch-bag on hold in Harvey Nicks and I wanted to pick them up and pay for them this afternoon; I also wanted to pay back Victoria for the Missoni scarf. I didn't like owing people money: it made me uncomfortable. I'd never borrowed money from anyone. I'd been working since I was eighteen, so I'd always had my own money, and then I'd married Jack. Since then I'd never had to think about it.

As I drove home after the coffee, my phone rang. It was Victoria.

'Hi, Sophie. Listen, Gerry's been trying to get in touch with Jack for days. He needs the cheque for our weekend in Venice. Everyone else has paid, so we're just waiting on you guys.'

'Sorry about that. He's been in New York and completely swamped with work. I've barely heard from him myself.'

'We really need the money by tomorrow.'

'He's due in this morning. In fact, I expect he'll be home when I get back to the house. I'll drop the cheque in to you this afternoon and the money I owe you for the scarf.'

'Great, thanks.'

'I can't wait for Venice. The Cipriani is supposed to be incredible,' I said.

'It's lovely. We've been there a few times. Gerry's booked a suite for us.'

'Oh, wow. Is the shopping good?'

'You have to know where you're going. I'll show you around I know Venice pretty well.'

'Great! It'll be nice to get away.'

'I know it's been a month since I was in Paris and I badly need a change of scenery. It's so dreary here, nothing but doom and gloom and recession talk.'

'I agree. I'll call you later. I've just arrived home and Jack's car is here, so I'll sort out the payment for you.'

'I'll see you later. 'Bye.'

I opened the door and walked into the kitchen. 'Jack?' I called.

The kitchen was empty, but his suitcase was lying on the floor.

'Jack?' I shouted.

Nothing. He must be in the shower. I began to go upstairs to find him when I heard a strange noise coming from his office. It sounded like ... hiccuping. I opened the door and found my husband sitting at his desk, with his face in his hands ... sobbing.

I froze. In all the years we had been together, I had never seen Jack cry. His whole body was shaking. I pulled myself together and ran over to him. 'Jack! What's wrong?'

He was too upset to speak.

'Jack?' I turned his chair to face me and knelt in front of him. 'You have to calm down and talk to me. What is it? Oh, my God, is it Jess?'

He shook his head.

'Well, then, what?'

'I'm so sorry ... I'm uh uh ... sorry.'

'Sorry for what?' My heart was pounding I was beginning to panic.

'I've let you down ... terrible mistake.' His chest heaved up and down.

What had he done? He was having an affair. With whom? It must be one of those American girls. 'Are you sleeping with one of those cheap tarts in work?' I shouted.

He shook his head again. 'No I'm such a fuck-up ... uh uh ... sorry, Sophie.'

'Jesus, Jack, talk to me, I don't understand. What did you do that's so terrible? Did you have sex with another woman?'

'No.'

'Are you sick? Is it cancer? We can get over cancer lots of people live long happy lives after cancer. I love you. I'll nurse you back to health.'

'I'm not sick.'

'Is it your parents? Has someone died?'

'No.'

'Roger? Fiona? Grace?'

'No one's dead,' he bawled.

I stood up and racked my brains. 'Did you hurt someone? Oh, God did you run someone over in your car? Did you kill someone?'

He shook his head a third time.

I grabbed his arm. 'Well, what is it? Tell me. You're really scaring me. Whatever it is, we can work it out. I promise. Talk to me, Jack.'

'It's uh uh all uh uh gone.'

'What is?'

'Everything.'

'What are you talking about?'

'I've lost everything, Sophie,' he said, staring down at his hands.

I put my hands gently on his shoulders. 'Take a deep breath and tell me what the hell is going on.'

He looked at me for the first time. His eyes were completely bloodshot and his face was ashen. He had aged ten years. He took a long breath and said, 'All of our money is gone.'

'What do you mean?'

'The company invested in a Ponzi scheme.'

'What the hell is that?'

'It's an investment fraud.'

'So go to the police.'