Brad turned around to order a drink and I pulled Jack aside. 'What nightclub?' I asked.

'It's no big deal. We went for a few drinks after dinner in some new club in SoHo.'

'Who went?'

'Just the office gang.'

'Who was coming on to you?'

'Some random girls. It was nothing and, as Brad said, I told them all I was married.'

'I'd really prefer if you didn't go to nightclubs when I'm not around. It's just putting yourself in temptation's way. Why didn't you just go back to the hotel?'

'Brad wanted to go out and it was a bit of fun. Seriously, relax, it's no big deal. I wasn't tempted by anyone.'

We got interrupted again and the conversation turned to work and how much money they were making. There was a lot of back-slapping, then congratulatory drinks and numerous toasts about someone called Hartley. I watched Jack revelling in it all. What would I do if he was ever unfaithful? Would I forgive him? Would I take him to court and screw him for every penny he owned?

One of the models I used to work with, Daisy, married a very wealthy guy, a real catch, but after years of what seemed like a happy marriage, she found out he'd been having an affair and she left him. She got a big settlement in the divorce, but she was alone. Her life as she'd known it was over. People didn't invite her to parties and balls. She only ever got invited to women's lunches. I hadn't seen her in years until I'd met her at a cystic fibrosis lunch last May. She'd got drunk and was crying to me in the bathroom that she'd never meet another man. I'd tried to reassure her but she said, 'Look, Sophie, I'm forty-one. I can't go to bars on my own looking to meet someone. They'll think I'm a hooker. I never get invited to parties where I might meet a man because the wives don't want any single women around. I've gone from being one of the gang to being a threat. My social life was based around my husband, and now all of his friends' wives have stopped calling. I'm a social pariah. Sometimes I wish I'd forgiven him. And I wish I was still married because I was somebody, I had a place in life. Now I'm no one.'

I was really shaken by that conversation because she was right. The minute her marriage had broken up she was no longer part of the social scene. Single women made married women uncomfortable.

'Hey there, are we boring you with all our work talk?' Jack whispered in my ear.

'I was just thinking I'd like to go back to the hotel and show you my new lingerie.' I winked at him.

That got his attention. He told everyone I was jet-lagged and needed to lie down. We went back to our gorgeous hotel room and had sex in the bed, the bath and the shower. I was damned if any floozy was going to take my man. I'd do whatever I needed to do to keep him happy and satisfied.

The next morning Jack and I went to the gym to work out and then he went to the office. As he was leaving, he kissed me goodbye. 'Spend as much money as you like today, Sophie. Go mad, you deserve it.'

My stomach flipped. I had just been given carte blanche to buy anything I wanted. Yippeeeeeee!

I spent four hours in Bergdorf Goodman being worshipped by the sales lady. I was shown to a huge dressing room, with a wall-to-wall mirror, a couch and a coffee table that had sparkling water and fresh flowers. I was offered champagne, which I accepted, and then Bernice, my new best friend, asked me what my style was and what I was looking to achieve today. I told her that I needed new smart-casual clothes for the daytime, a chic but not OTT look for school pick-ups and coffee mornings, and that I needed glamorous cocktail dresses and ballgowns for the evening events I'd be going to. I told her my favourite designers were Marc Jacobs, Herve Leger, Dolce & Gabbana, Prada, Jason Wu, Moschino and Vera Wang.

'You must lead a fabulous life,' she gushed.

'I do, actually,' I admitted, sipping my champagne and enjoying every second of this indulgence.

'And you have such an awesome figure you're so tiny. All the clothes are going to look beautiful on you. You're stunning.'

'Thank you.' I basked in her admiration.

While I put my feet up, Bernice left to go through the shop floor and came back twenty minutes later wheeling a large rail of clothes for me to try on. Everything was gorgeous. I could have bought the entire rack ... I almost did.

I bought a charcoal grey Moschino coat, two Marc Jacobs jackets one black, one midnight blue three pairs of dVb jeans (blue, black and white), a sexy fitted black Dolce & Gabbana dress, two white and two black Prada shirts, an incredible silver Vera Wang evening gown from her Lavender collection, a pair of black Jimmy Choo boots, a pair of Donna Karan wedge sandals and a pair of silver Manolo Blahnik evening shoes to go with my Vera Wang dress. I also bought two Donna Karan casual daytime dresses and two Juicy tracksuits (one pink and one baby blue). The bill came to $11,087.

I winced a bit at the final cost. I'd never spent that much money in one go before. But Jack had told me to indulge myself and he'd said I deserved it, so what the hell? Besides, Victoria did this all the time and she never felt guilty, so why should I? No: I was going to enjoy it and not ruin the buzz with silly regrets. Jack liked me to look good and that cost money.

I handed over my credit card and waited on the couch while my clothes were wrapped and packaged. Bernice came in and said that as I had so many bags the store wanted to offer me their car to take me back to the hotel. I was accompanied downstairs to where a uniformed driver was waiting in front of a silver Bentley. As I climbed into the back seat, I felt like a movie star. People on the street were turning around to see who I was. It felt fantastic.

13.

Julie.

I picked up the triplets from Montessori and we were driving home when Luke asked, 'Mum, does God love everyone?'

'Yes, He does.'

'Even bad guys?' Leo asked.

'Yes.'

'Even robbers?' Liam wanted to know.

'Yes, He loves everyone.'

'Even when people are bold?'

'Yes. It's just like I love you guys even when you do naughty things.'

'Even when you put us in the bold room?' Leo asked.

'Yes.'

'Even when you shout at us?' Luke wasn't convinced.

'Yes.'

'Even when you say, "I'm sick of this shit"?' Liam reminded me of my bad language.

'I don't say that.'

'Yes, you do you said it this morning when Luke took all his clothes off and ran into the garden.'

'Well, that was bold of me. I shouldn't say bad words.'

'Do you love us even when you say, "I hate my life"?' Leo sounded worried.

'Yes, I do. Listen, boys, sometimes Mummy says things she doesn't mean, so you mustn't take any notice. I don't hate my life. I love my life. And I love you very much.'

'Even when you say you want to go to Brazil by your own self?' Luke persisted.

Yikes, I really needed to watch my mouth from now on.

'Yes, pet. And you know I'd never go anywhere without you guys. I really, really love you and I know that I shout a lot and I know that I can be grumpy and I'm sorry about that. I'm just tired and sometimes when you're tired you can be snappy. So I'm going to try and be less grumpy and I want you to try and be really good and do what I say. OK?'

'Do you love us more than God?' Leo asked.

'I love you more than anyone.'

'But God's not a person. He's invisible,' he reminded me.

'Yes, that's true.'

'Where does God live?' Liam wanted to know.

'In Heaven.'

'Where is that?'

'In the sky.'

'In a cloud?' Luke was amazed.

'Kind of.'

'If we went in an aeroplane, would we see God?'

'No, you never see Him, but He can see you.'

'Does He have X-ray eyes?' Liam asked.

'Well, yes, in a way He does.'

'Cool,' they all said.

We pulled into the house before the interrogation could go on any longer. They were insatiable. Last year we had gone on a disastrous family holiday to Kerry where it had rained all day, every day. On the five-hour car journey there, the triplets had asked me and Harry endless questions about outer space. After two hours we had cracked, pulled into a garage and bought them piles of sweets to shut them up.

Now, as I was parking, I asked, 'Who do you love, boys?'

'Daddy!' they said in unison. I tried not to let it upset me, but it really did. I broke my back day in and day out for them, but they loved Harry more.

My father was waiting for me at the house. He never called in so this was very unusual.

'Is everything OK?' I asked, jumping out of the car.

'All fine. I just need to talk to you about Louise. Your mother is driving me round the bend. She wants us all to fly to New York and confront this ex-boyfriend of hers.'

'Oh, God! Come on in. You can help me make sandwiches for the boys and then we can chat.'

While Dad made ham sandwiches, I put Tom down for his nap. When I got back to the kitchen Liam was complaining that his crusts hadn't been cut off, Luke was shouting that he wanted his sandwich in triangles, not rectangles, and Leo was telling Dad he hated bread and wanted a cracker sandwich.

'Here's your mother now. She'll sort you out.' Dad looked relieved to see me. 'I don't know how you do it,' he said. 'I've only been here ten minutes and I'm worn out.'

'You get used to it,' I admitted, fixing the sandwiches and handing them to the boys just the way they liked them.

Dad removed a pile of laundry from one of the chairs and sat down. 'Right, about Louise and the baby. What do you know about the father?'

'Nothing,' I lied.

'There never was a boyfriend, was there?' Dad looked directly at me.

I could feel myself blushing. 'I don't really know,' I mumbled.

'I thought so. She was so casual about the break-up and doing it all on her own that I suspected there was no man. Is it one of those sperm banks she went to?'

'No!' I cringed. How did Dad even know about sperm banks? I really did not want to discuss sperm donors with him. I was going to kill Louise for putting me in this situation.

'A married man?' Dad asked.

'God, no, nothing like that.'

'What was it, then?'

'It was just kind of a brief fling.'

'A one-night stand, you mean?'

Now I was discussing casual shags with my father who had never said the word 'sex' in front of me in thirty-nine years. 'Something like that,' I muttered.

'How could someone as bright and sensible as Louise do something so stupid?'

'We all make mistakes,' I defended my sister.

'Louise has never put a foot wrong in her life.'

'Well, I guess there's a first time for everything. But it's worked out well. She seems pretty happy about the baby.'

'She has no idea what raising a child alone is like,' Dad said.

'Neither do you,' I pointed out. 'Maybe it won't be so bad. She's loads of help lined up and she's very organized and capable. If anyone can make it work, Louise can.'

'Where did I go wrong? One fella hugging trees, and my eldest having unprotected sex. What type of children did I raise?'

I needed to get him off the sex talk. 'Louise will be fine and so will Gavin. He's off to London soon anyway, so he'll be out of your hair.'

'Off to London to sit around on his arse doing more protesting.'

'Well, the expansion at Heathrow airport is a bad idea. You should go on to the Greenpeace site. It has a very convincing list of reasons to ban it. In a way you have to admire him for being so passionate about it.'

'Passionate?' Dad spluttered. 'The only reason he's going is because of that gobshite Forest's sister. His penis is controlling his brain.'

'Well, she is pretty gorgeous.'