His voice was thick with desire and need. She opened her eyes to see just the same intensity reflecting in his eyes. A need she knew that didn't come easy or readily displayed, but he was letting her see all that he felt. Wordlessly telling her he loved her.

Adam needed her as much as she needed him. This generated a c.o.c.ktail of emotions within her. Her gaze lowered to where he was positioned between her thighs and watched as he pushed himself inside her damp entrance with a slow thrust, stretching the walls of her body until he was lost so deep she felt him to the depth of her soul, causing her heart to slip at their stark connection.

"f.u.c.k," he groaned. "You feel so good."

"Harder."

"Slow."

She lifted her hips and rocked against him. "No, fast and hard."

Adam swore, expelled a slow, steady breath, then began to thrust, long and deep, holding her gaze captive as he increased the speed of his stroke, pounding her with rigorous strength until the o.r.g.a.s.m rippled through her in stunning waves, sending her flying. With one more masterful thrust, he came along with her.

"Wrap your legs around me."

She obeyed. His body collapsed over her, chest pressed against her breast. She could feel the thunderous beat of their hearts dancing to the same chaotic rhythmic tune. Lost in their euphoria, neither made an attempt to move. At least not until her stomach reminded her she had not eaten. Even then, she kept a firm grip around his neck.

"You need to eat," he said, against her throat.

"I'm fine." She didn't want him to move. Not ever.

Her stomach screamed out of hunger again. Adam laughed softly, lifted his head and brushed a kiss against her temple. "Come on. We have a picnic at the beach waiting."

Oh, yeah, she had forgotten all about that. "It's still good?"

He loosened her arms from his neck, walked to his dresser to grab a fresh pair of boxer briefs and slipped into his favorite black pair of sweatpants. "Should be, but there's leftover in the fridge. Let's take it to the beach and eat. I have to clean up anyway or the seagulls will find a way to open the basket." He picked up his jeans from the floor, dug into the pocket and retrieved a small black velvet box. "Your ring."

Her heart leaped in her chest. They'd never gotten to the ring part of the engagement. "Oh."

He turned to her with a worried look on his face. "You don't want it?"

"G.o.d, yes." She let out a short laugh. "I was just so...um...h.o.r.n.y I skipped the ring part."

Adam approached the bed, took her hand in his and took the ring out of the box and slipped it on her finger. "Does that mean you'll still be my wife?"

She laughed, a deep laugh filled with joy. "What do you think?"

One hour later, Lily was full and had eaten way too much, but she didn't care. Dinner had been delicious, simple but thoughtfully prepared by Adam himself. Fresh avocado dip with crispy crunchy pita chips, roasted eggplant, red onions and bell peppers in a wrap, fresh squeezed lemonade and a baked blueberry pie from Herring Creek farm for dessert. Between laughter, touching, lots of touching, a kiss here and there, some lingered, some quick, and the mellifluous sound of waves rushing to the sh.o.r.e, they ate everything, and had lost track of time. But that happened when one's heart was dancing with joy.

The sun had completed its tour for the day, and now replaced by a myriad of stars, which dotted the sky and danced against the ocean. The cool breeze caressed her skin and Lily hugged her knees, wriggled her toes in the soft velvety sand beneath her feet. She peeked once more at the cushion-cut white diamond ring encircled by a row of pink and white bead set of diamonds Adam had slipped on her finger. Cla.s.sically elegant, it was perfection.

"Cold yet?" Adam asked not too far away as he tidied up the remnants of their picnic.

"Come warm me up."

He dropped to the sand beside her. "Want to go back inside?"

She fixed her eyes on the ocean. "No, this is perfect."

He took her hand in his. "I know you're worried about my career and the danger it presents. Do you want me to retire?"

She turned and got a look of his expression. Her heart stuttered at the seriousness on his face. He was ready to walk away from the career he loved for a chance to have a future with her. No, she wouldn't be that woman who made him choose. She'd just have to learn to accept with love comes danger, fear and joy. It was a package deal. "I couldn't ask that of you."

"You didn't ask. I am offering."

And she loved him for that. "You love your career. I can't take that away from you."

A silence fell between them for a beat. Then he asked, "Tired?"

Her heart squeezed at his concern. She rested her head against his. "I don't want this to end, Adam. This moment right now is perfect."

Everything was perfect. Her ring. Adam. Dinner. His hand holding hers as they stared out at the sea...no one there, just them.

Perfection.

Sometime in the night, Lily reached for Adam, only to find his side of the bed empty. Her eyes flew open. She threw the comforter aside; a shiver of apprehension crisped her skin. Barefoot, she rushed down the stairs; the wood creaked under her feet. She didn't bother turning on any lights; she was familiar with the landscape and made her way to the family room. She found him lounging on the sofa, sipping on a beer, gaze glued to the TV screen. She walked over and sat next to him. "Another dream?"

"You should be sleeping, Liliana."

Yeah, definitely another nightmare and he was shutting her out again. "What was this one about?"

She waited. After a long beat, he placed the beer on the floor next to him, picked up the remote and turned off the television. "One day I came home to my father slapping my mother around." His voice was roughed with pain. "I rushed over and pulled him off, well, I tried to."

"Oh, Adam." Her throat tightened in pain for him.

"He pushed me off. I was small and weak. So I fell, but then he started kicking me, bruised a few ribs, then he put a gun on my head. Right here." He pointed to the center of his forehead. "That's one of the few times my mother ever protected me."

Lily let out a disgusted sigh, unable to imagine the horrible pain he'd suffered as a child. "I can't take away your childhood, but I wish I could."

"These are my dreams, Liliana. Except they are not dreams. They are my nightmares to live with."

Lily moved into Adam's arms. He shifted his weight to make room for her and she cradled against his muscular body. It felt so good to be in his arms that for a moment she just stayed with him, breathing him in. But Adam was in pain. Her Adam. Together they needed to make him okay. "What can I do? Please tell me. I can go to counseling with you. Whatever. I will do it with you."

"No counseling."

"Your parents never took you to one? They can help."

"They all want to give me meds. You can't give narcotics to an addict."

Still in his arms she turned so that they could be face to face. "Your birthing conditions don't mean you will become addicted."

His lips twitched in a weak smile. "You're willing to chance that?"

She didn't answer.

"I'm not," he answered his own question. "I never want to be what my parents were."

His face was set in a hard, determined expression. She caressed his brooding features. "We will make you better," she said and kissed him softly on the lips. "Just don't shut me out. I couldn't take it if you were to shut me out again." Her voice trembled on the words, remembering only a week ago, he had shut himself from her.

His large hands cupped her face and forced her to meet his gaze. "Liliana," he murmured her name. "My instinct will always be to protect you. Even from me."

"Can't you see, Adam, I don't need protection from you. I just need you." She smiled then.

His mouth crushed against hers, and he kissed her hard. But this wasn't about kissing-it had everything to do with need, hunger, and the darkness inside Adam.

"Hold on to me, Liliana," he murmured against her lips.

She did as he requested and locked her arms around his neck. Adam hoisted her up along with him to a sitting position, with her on top of him. Their eyes met, his gaze dark and intense, almost wild. "Ride me."

With her sitting on his thighs, he lifted up his hips and slipped off his sweats, then proceeded to shove her shorts and panties down. Adam pushed up her silk camisole and she lifted her arms to ease the process for him. Within seconds, she sat on his leg with his hard length thick between them. Skin on skin, flesh on flesh.

He lifted her slightly and placed her warm entrance on the tip of his erection. "Now, Liliana," he said, and lowered her body over his length.

Lily cried out at the firm contact, and began moving on him. He thrust up into her, making her feel him even deeper. And as the pleasure inside her mounted, she couldn't help but think maybe, just maybe in a way, she was healing him, however, temporary it was. So when he leaned in and took one breast into his mouth, her love for him took over. Her fingers slid through his hair and gripped a handful. She heard him wince but she didn't care. Lily's breath grew shallow, the speed of her movement increased, until cries of ecstasy filled the room.

A little while later, Adam rolled to his side and pulled Lily's back against him. He turned the television back on and her heart sank because that meant he was once again avoiding sleep.

"Go to sleep," he whispered in her ear.

"I'm not leaving you."

He turned off the television. "Okay, you win. Go to sleep."

In the dark she smiled and pressed her back a little closer against his chest. "I love the feel of you."

"The feeling is mutual." He kissed her shoulder. "You do something to me I can't explain. Now sleep."

Love, she thought. It heated their soul, energized their spirit and supplied pa.s.sion to their lives. It was their connection.

Chapter Twenty-Six.

"Let your past be your springboard, not your quicksand."

Steve Maraboli Half hour before game time on a sparkling but cold island afternoon, Lily walked onto the football field at Martha's Vineyard Regional High School in Oak Bluffs with Adam's arm slung possessively over her shoulder. Her brothers, dressed in white with navy trimmed Lacrosse shorts and grey fitted graphic tees were huddled with comparable size men in black athletic shorts and fitted T-shirts in the middle of the field with their cleats on, ready for battle, completely impervious to the chill in the air. Apparently a uniform coordination had taken place sometime before the match because Adam was dressed in black shorts like the rest of his pack with a blue cotton tee with the words Put Up or Shut Up on its front.

As they approach the group, she could hear the banter going back and forth between them, which included a push-up challenge between Rafa and Jason. Side by side, the two men dropped to the b.a.l.l.s of their feet on the ground, palms down under their shoulders, and back straight. In perfect alignment, they elevated themselves then lowered their weight, still in perfect alignment, as low as they could go.

By the time Lily and Adam joined them, the two men were still going with easy, economical speed. They turned to eyeball each other and kept going until both dropped to the ground, rose to their feet and elbowed each other, and then shook hands.

A quick race across the field broke between Zander and Blake, or whatever else to show their physical prowess while Keely, Minka and Claire looked on, openly enjoying the view. Even Lily had to admit seeing that level of testosterone huddled together would have been a mesmerizing sight if three of the toned bodies didn't belong to her brothers.

"Men are so immature," Claire murmured, but she didn't look away from the muscles bulging everywhere.

"Finally," Zander said over his shoulder. "We didn't think you were going to show up."

"And miss kicking your a.s.ses? Never," Adam jested.

Rafa and Max sent hyena-like stares at Adam's arm over her shoulder. To show her brothers his ego was just as inflated or perhaps superior, Adam pulled her closer against him in the see, she's mine kind of hug.

The whole display was further proof of her theory. Men never really grew up. In order to get laid, they learned to act in public and fooled women into believing they were no longer snot noses. But really they were.

"What's with your boyfriend?" Max asked tossing the football up in the air and catching it. "He looks like s.h.i.t." He stopped and studied his sister. "You too. Not as much as him, though."

The words were casually thrown at her, to appear indifferent, but she noted the hint of concern in her brother's voice. He was worried about her. And maybe even a little about Adam. Ordinarily, she'd run into his arms and give him a big little-sister hug, but as payback for their bad 'tude yesterday, she rolled her eyes and replied, "Geez, thanks." While she eventually did fall asleep, she knew the exact time Adam ultimately drifted to sleep. By then, the sun was starting to rise.

"Lily," Claire exclaimed. She was quick by Lily's side and took her friend's hand in hers. "What a beautiful ring."

All three of her brothers' gaze went to her left hand and huffed. Max slung the football in Adam's direction; Adam quickly removed his hand from her shoulder and caught the approaching ball to avoid getting hit in the chest. Max flashed a smug smile. Mission accomplished.

Keely and Minka circled them, pulled her into tight hugs and both tiptoed to kiss Adam on the cheek. The guys followed. Her brothers continued to breathe fire, although the heat level had subsided a bit.

"You're really going to marry this guy?" Zander asked.

Blake placed a hand on Zander's shoulder. "Accept it, man. Adam is one of the good guys."

"Welcome to the family, Lily. You need new brothers anyway," Forrest teased.

"Remember, I saw your girl naked," Max threw back.

"I'm not anyone's girl." Claire looked fixedly at Max. "And you didn't see me naked."

"If you're not doing him..." Rafa tipped his head in Forrest's direction.

Claire sighed, raised her hands and stared Rafa down. "You need to stop it too."

He focused on Claire and flashed a very bad-boy smile. The kind of smile that had melted women. "I still want to take you out to dinner."

Claire crossed her arms over her chest, not the least bit affected. "Not happening."

Rafa laughed, a good-natured sound that Lily was so familiar with and loved. She couldn't help but smile. They might be coming across as a.s.sholes, but they were the good, caring kind of a.s.sholes.

Adam extended his arms and stretched wide. "Are we playing football or what? You have the flags, Forrest?"

Forrest reached into his backpack and pulled out three pink towels. "For you guys."

Jason and Adam snickered. Her brothers took the towels, studied them and hung them off their hips.

"Since you guys are outnumbered," Blake pointed. "I'll be the ref."

"Wait," Minka called out, "Aren't there rules?"