NAN. What a figure.

TRIS. I shall soon be out of breath.

NAN. Come, more vigor! come, more vigor!

TRIS. This I'm sure will be my death.

LADY H. AND NAN. Come, old John, come, old John, 'Tis we who ask, so come along.

TRIS. This is too much! I, old John? What I?

(_All run off stage dancing_, TRISTAN _between the two ladies, who drag him._)

_Curtain._

ACT TWO.

(_Curtain rises on Richmond market place. Stall around sides of stage and back. In foreground, tables and benches; side show of some funny sort. Tents at one side. Country folk walking about, farmers and wives._)

NO. 4.

CHO. Come, O maidens fair, Yes, come, but come with cheerful looks!

Handsome is as handsome does, The rule that suits our books.

Hasten, hasten, cheerful maidens, Do not linger on the way, Soon the Hiring Fair will open And advancing is the day.

Done! once the bargain is agreed to Neither can undo it.

Done! faithful servants, kindly masters, Neither then will rue it.

Neatness is the best of graces, Smooth of hair come every one; In a row all take your places, Soon the choosing will be done.

If you'll be but quick and neat And try to do your best, You will find a happy home, And the pay of your deserving. Come!

Find a home, yes, come.

(_Enter serving maids, arm in arm. Farmers go to meet them._)

SERVANTS' CHO. Hither come, linger not, Fate a home will allot, etc.

FARMERS AND WIVES. Come this way, don't delay, We have waited you many a day.

SERV. Oh, not now, but tomorrow, We are tired, we are shy.

FARMERS. Handsome is that handsome does, The best rule that ever was.

(_Farmers and wives try to bring servants into a line forward on stage. The servants hold back._)

SERV. Since the day how we have run, Now we shall know, Just where each girl is going to go.

Now our journey's o'er and here we rest with you at last, After many a mile so long and lone is over past.

(_Servants scatter about stage, some lying down as if to rest, as_ LIONEL _and_ PLUNKET _enter. They come on talking._ PLUNKET _is dressed as a peasant farmer and carries a whip. Lionel is dressed as a gentleman, but plainly._)

PLUNKET. Here is a jolly howdoyoudo. What a clatter they make!

The farmers are all going to engage servants for the coming year out of this crowd of chattering hussies. It is a good thing to take your time to choose, though, for once the bargain is made you have to stick to it for at least a year. What do you say, Lionel? Have you picked out your Betsy Ann?

LIONEL. Betsy Ann--what do you mean? (_He speaks absently, slowly, and his demeanor throughout is one of dreamy abstraction.

He is very grave and pensive, altogether a young man who would be likely to take a love affair very seriously and perhaps lose his mental balance temporarily over it._)

PLUN. I mean our serving girl. You know mother put it in her will that we must keep up the farm together. So now like two good housewives we must fly around and choose a maid. Her name may be Sally or Katy or Jane, but I shall call her Betsy Ann!

(_Laughs._)

LIO. I shall always remember your dear mother and be grateful.

PLUN. Yes, she was a good woman and a good mother, aye, a good manager, too. She knew how to make the maids attend to their work.

LIO. But she was kind. She was always so kind to me.

PLUN. Yes, she loved you. If you had been her own child she could not have tended you more anxiously. You were a mere baby when your father died and left you in our care. No one could help trying to make up your loss to you, somehow. If I'd a mind I might have been jealous of you. I was always the one who got the scoldings. I suppose mother owed them to me, for I was her own naughty boy!

LIO. You have always been a real brother to me, Plunket. No helpless child could have had a happier fate than to find home with you.

PLUN. You had no one but mother and me, old chap, don't you see?

What else could a fellow do but try to keep you heartened up a little? (_Laughs with some embarra.s.sment._)

LIO. And yet even now we do not know who I really am. We shall never know, unless some day my father's ring (_lifts his hand_) may serve to clear up the mystery at last. (_Sings._)

NO. 5.

LIO. O'er my life from boyhood tender, You have watched with sheltering care, You your all would fain surrender, With the orphan child to share.

You fulfilled a father's duty, When he left me to your love, Ah, he heard my mother calling, Heard her call from heaven above.

PLUN. Nor his rank nor name he told us, Nor the secret dar'd unseal (_touches_ LIONEL'S _hand_), This his ring one day shall tell it, All the mystery yet reveal.

On your finger when he placed it, "This may change his fate," he sighed, "This my ring the Queen will honor Should misfortune e'er betide."

LIO. Brother mine, 'mid courtly splendors My vain longings ne'er shall rove, Ah, no light on earth allures me, Save the tender glow of love.

No strange joys I'd earn for yonder, Peace and sweet content are here, 'Mid the fields are simple pleasures, Calm affection, tried and dear.

(_A bell from the village church gives the signal for the fair to begin. Sheriff enters pompously, the farmers and wives and servants flock after him. He is dressed in wig, hat and robe.

He has a staff of office. A girl is pushed against him in the crowd. He waves her back majestically, at arm's length and speaks._)

SHERIFF (_speaks_) Let the rabble stand back. Room for the majesty of the law. Ahem!

GIRL (_speaks pertly_). My, ain't he the big wig, though! (_Tweaks at his wig from behind and pulls it partly off. His hat falls off. She picks it up and runs._)

SHERIFF. Ouch! (_Grabs at wig with one hand and runs after the girl, shaking his staff at her. Another girl gets in his way; they dodge back and forth, till she puts her two hands, one each side of his face and tries to kiss him._)

GIRL (_speaks_). There, there, old gentleman, don't feel so bad over a bit of our fun!