"My Lady Juliana Douglas!" cried he, with a shriek of horror, sinking again upon his cushions. "I am betrayed--I--Where is my Lady Maclaughlan?--Where is Philistine?-- Where is--the devil! This is not to be borne! My Lady Juliana Douglas, the Earl of Courtland's daughter, to be introduced to Lochmarlie Castle in so vile a manner, and myself surprised in so indecorous a situation!" And, his lips quivering with pa.s.sion, he rang the bell.

The summons was answered by the same attendant that had acted as gentleman usher.

"'Where are all my people?" demanded his incensed master.

"Hurs aw awa tull ta Sandy More's."

"Where is my Lady?"

"Hurs i' ta teach tap." [1]

[1] House top.

"'Where is Murdoch?"

"Hur's helpin' ta leddie i' ta teach tap."

"Oh, we'll all go upstairs, and see what Lady Maclaughlan and Philistine are about in the laboratory," said Miss Grizzy. "So pray, just go on with your nap, Sir Sampson; we shall find the way--don't stir;" and taking Lady Juliana by the hand, away tripped the spinsters in search of their friend. "I cannot conceive the meaning of all this," whispered Miss Grizzy to her sister as they went along. "Something must be wrong; but I said nothing to dear Sir Sampson, his nerves are so easily agitated. But what can be the meaning of all this? I declare it's quite a mystery."

After ascending several long dark stairs, and following divers windings and turnings, the party at length reached the door of the _sanctum sanctorum,_ and having gently tapped, the voice of the priestess was heard in no very encouraging accents, demanding "Who was there?"

"It's only us," replied her trembling friend.

"Only us? humph! I wonder what fool is called _only us!_ Open the door, Philistine, and see what _only us_ wants."

The door was opened and the party entered. The day was closing in, but by the faint twilight that mingled with the gleams from a smoky smouldering fire, Lady Maclaughlan was dimly discernible, as she stood upon the hearth, watching the contents of an enormous kettle that emitted both steam and odour. She regarded the invaders with her usual marble aspect, and without moving either joint or muscle as they drew near.

"I declare--I don't think you know us, Lady Maclaughlan," said Miss Grizzy in a tone of affected vivacity, with which she strove to conceal her agitation.

"Know you!" repeated her friend--"humph! Who you are, I know very well; but what brings you here, I do _not_ know. Do you know yourselves?"

"I declare---I can't conceive----" began Miss Grizzy; but her trepidation arrested her speech, and her sister therefore proceeded--

"Your ladyship's declaration is no less astonishing than incomprehensible. We have waited upon you by your own express invitation on the day appointed by yourself; and we have been received in a manner, I must say, we did not expect, considering this is the first visit of our niece Lady Juliana Douglas."

"I'll tell you what, girls," replied their friend, as she still stood with her back to the fire, and her hands behind her; "I'll tell you what,--you are not yourselves--you are all lost--quite mad--that's all--humph!"

"If that's the case, we cannot be fit company for your ladyship,"

retorted Miss Jacky warmly; "and therefore the best thing we can do is to return the way we came. Come, Lady Juliana--come, sister."

"I declare, Jacky, the impetuosity of your temper is--I really cannot stand it--" and the gentle Grizzy gave way to a flood of tears.

"You used to be rational, intelligent creatures," resumed her ladyship; "but what has come over you, I don't know. You come tumbling in here at the middle of the night--and at the top of the house n.o.body knows how--when I never was thinking of you; and because I don't tell a parcel of lies, and pretend I expected you, you are for flying off again --humph! Is this the behaviour of women in their senses? But since you are here, you may as well sit down and say what brought you. Get down, Gil Blas--go along, Tom Jones," addressing two huge cats, who occupied a three-cornered leather chair by the fireside, and who relinquished it with much reluctance.

"How do you do, pretty creature?" kissing Lady Juliana, as she seated her in this eat's cradle. "Now, girls, sit down, and tell what brought you here to-day--humph!"

"Can your Ladyship ask such a question, after having formally invited us?" demanded the wrathful Jacky.

"I'll tell you what, girls; you were just as much invited by me to dine here to-day as you were appointed to sup with the Grand Seignior--humph!"

"What day of the week does your Ladyship call this?"

"I call it Tuesday; but I suppose the Glenfern calendar calls it Thursday: Thursday was the day I invited you to come."

"I'm sure--I'm thankful we're got to the bottom of it at last," cried Miss Grizzy; "I read it, because I'm sure you wrote it, Tuesday."

"How could you be such a fool, my love, as to read it any such thing?

Even if it had been written Tuesday, you might have had the sense to know it meant Thursday. When did you know me invite anybody for a Tuesday?"

"I declare it's very true; I certainly ought to have known better. I am quite confounded at my own stupidity; for, as you observe, even though you had said Tuesday, I might have known that you must have meant Thursday."

"Well, well, no more about it. Since you are here you must stay here, and you must have something to eat, I suppose. Sir Sampson and I have dined two hours ago; but you shall have your dinner for all that. I must shut shop for this day, it seems, and leave my resuscitating tincture all in the deadthraw--Methusalem pills quite in their infancy. But there's no help for it. Since you are here you must stay here, and you must be fed and lodged; so get along, girls, get along. Here, Gil Blas--come, Tom Jones." And, preceded by her cats, and followed by her guests, she led the way to the parlour.

CHAPTER XVI.

"Point de milieu: l'hymen et ses liens Sont les plus grands ou des maux ou des biens."

_L' Enfant Prodigue._

ON returning to the parlour they found Sir Sampson had, by means of the indefatigable Philistine, been transported into a suit of regimentals and well-powdered peruke, which had in some measure restored him to his usual complacency. Henry, who had gone in quest of some person to take charge of the horses, now entered; and shortly after a tray of provisions was brought, which the half-famished party eagerly attacked, regardless of their hostess's admonitions to eat sparingly, as nothing was so dangerous as eating heartily when people were hungry.

The repast being at length concluded, Lady Maclaughlan led her guests into the saloon. They pa.s.sed through an antechamber, which seemed, by the faint light of the lamp, to contain nothing but piles on piles of china, and entered the room of state.

The eye at first wandered in uncertain obscurity; and the guests cautiously proceeded over a bare oaken floor, whose dark polished surface seemed to emulate a mirror, through an apartment of formidable extent.

The walls were hung with rich but grotesque tapestry. The ceiling, by its height and ma.s.sy carving, bespoke the age of the apartment; but the beauty of the design was lost in the gloom.

A Turkey carpet was placed in the middle of the floor; and on the middle of the carpet stood the card table, at which two footmen, hastily summoned from the revels at Sandy More's, were placing chairs and cards; seemingly eager to display themselves, as if to prove that they were always at their posts.

Cards were a matter of course with Sir Sampson and his lady; but as whist was the only game they ever played, a difficulty arose as to the means of providing amus.e.m.e.nt for the younger part of the company.

"I have plenty of books for you, my loves," said Lady Maclaughlan; and, taking one of the candles, she made a journey to the other end of the room, and entered a small turret, from which her voice was heard issuing most audibly, "All the books that should ever have been published are here. Read these, and you need read no more: all the world's in these books--humph! Here's the Bible, great and small, with apocrypha and concordance! Here's Floyer's Medicina Gerocomica, or the Galenic Art of Preserving Old Men's Health;--Love's Art of Surveying and Measuring Land;--Transactions of the Highland Society;--Gla.s.s's Cookery;--Flavel's Fountain of Life Opened;--Fencing Familiarised;--Observations on the Use of Bath Waters;--Cure for Soul Sores;--De Blondt's Military Memoirs;--MacGhie's Book-keeping;--Mead on Pestilence;--Astenthology, or the Art of Preserving Feeble Life!"

As she enumerated the contents of her library, she paused at the end of each t.i.tle, in hopes of hearing the book called for; but she was allowed to proceed without interruption to the end of her catalogue.

"Why, what would you have, children?" cried she in one of her sternest accents. "I don't know! Do you know yourselves? Here are two novels, the only ones worth any Christian's reading."

Henry gladly accepted the first volumes of Gil Bias and Clarissa Harlowe; and, giving the latter to Lady Juliana, began the other himself. Miss Becky was settled with her hands across; and, the whist party being arranged, a solemn silence ensued.

Lady Juliana turned over a few pages of her own book, then begged Henry would exchange with her; but both were in so different a style from the French and German school she had been accustomed to, that they were soon relinquished in disappointment and disgust.

On the table, which had been placed by the fire for her accommodation, lay an English newspaper; and to that she had recourse, as a last effort at amus.e.m.e.nt. But, alas! even the dulness of Clarissa Harlowe was delight compared to the anguish with which this fatal paper was fraught, in the shape of the following paragraph, which presented itself to the unfortunate fair one's eye:--

"Yesterday was married, by special license, at the house of Mrs. D---, his Grace the Duke of L---, to the beautiful and accomplished Miss D---.

His Royal Highness the Duke of ---- was gracious enough to act as father to the bride upon this occasion, and was present in person, as were their Royal Highnesses the Dukes of ---, and of ---. The bride looked most bewitchingly lovely, in a simple robe of the finest Mechlin lace, with a superb veil of the same costly material, which hung down to her feet. She wore a set of pearls estimated at thirty thousand pounds, whose chaste elegance corresponded with the rest of the dress.