"Sooooo happy for you. You're going to have the best time with him. I just know it."

I looked at the plain white card in my hand. It had the hospital logo on it, and Bennet's name and contact information. It was boring. It was basic. It was exactly the opposite of the card Nash had handed me a few minutes earlier. One was tucked safely away in my pocket, I could feel it there almost like it was calling to me. The other I wanted to chuck in the trash. Too bad Sunny would never forgive me if I set the plain white one sailing.

"We'll see." I didn't have high hopes for either venture, but I would force myself to go through with both of them. One out of fear of spending the holidays alone and something more I didn't want to delve into, the other just to keep my boss happy. Neither was a great reason to go on a date, but considering it was me, it would just have to suffice.

CHAPTER 7.

Nash

I think I was more nervous than Rule. Someone had brought a flask of Crown Royal to help him calm his nerves, but he kept waving it away and Rome wasn't really drinking much anymore, so that left me, Asa, Rowdy, and Jet to do the damage. Rome and I were the best men. The big guy was taking Cora down the aisle, obviously, which left me with Ayden. I was teasing Jet mercilessly about it because I had seen her in one of the pretty, pale blue gowns Shaw had picked out and there was no question she looked beyond good. It was fun but left me wide open for him to poke at the fact that I had rolled into the venue with Saint. I wasn't the type of guy who brought a date to an event like this, and considering the guest list for the wedding consisted of maybe fifty people at most, there was no missing her and the questioning looks coming from every direction.

The venue was dramatic and unique. It was set high over the city skyline, and you could see the lights and winter landscape of the Rocky Mountains for miles and miles. Shaw wanted everything to look pale and cool; she said she wanted it to feel like being in the center of a blizzard. Anyone who knew the soon-to-be-married couple knew that the bride had a serious infatuation with Rule's superpale, icy-colored eyes. Clearly, it was what the entire wedding theme was built around. Rome and I had on matching black pants and b.u.t.ton-up shirts, with ties that were the same color as Ayden and Cora's dresses. Rule had the same thing on, only he was wearing a black jacket over his with a pinstripe pattern running through it. We looked bada.s.s, way better than typical wedding finery, and I couldn't believe how steady my best friend seemed. I never thought he was going to settle down and now it seemed like the only thing in the world he wanted to do. I was a little envious, which surprised the h.e.l.l out of me.

"So the nurse?" Jet gave me a look and handed me the flask. I grunted at him and took a swig of the burning, amber liquid.

"She doesn't like me very much. I'm trying to change her mind about it."

Rome was fidgeting with his tie and texting Cora back and forth. The closer she got to the due date, the more paranoid he got about her well-being. I think he would've kept her glued to his side or tied to a bed if the little spitfire would've allowed it.

"She showed up with you. She can't dislike you that much."

Yeah, she had showed up, but she kinda looked like she was going to be sick or like she was sucking on a lemon the entire ride over. Not that she hadn't looked gorgeous even with the unease clear on her pretty face. It was the first time I had seen her in anything other than her work wear, and man, could she rock a little black dress and sky-high heels like a pro. It was simple, understated, but with all that spectacular hair and flawless skin, she looked regal and elegant in a way a lot of young women couldn't pull off nowadays. She was a cla.s.sic. Kind of like my car, and I had a feeling her ride would be just as nice if she ever let me get that far.

She wouldn't let me pick her up, had insisted on meeting me at my place. I had almost had to literally twist her arm to get her to agree to actually ride downtown with me, and after I'd won that argument, she had spoken maybe five words to me since. I deposited her with Phil, who had just looked at me knowingly and given her a smile. He was holding up pretty well, all things considered, and there was no way he was going to miss seeing Rule tie the knot.

Rule and Shaw were doing things really informal. There weren't going to be any sappy speeches, no first dance, just a quick ceremony, dinner with everyone they loved, and then Rule was taking her to New Orleans for a week for their honeymoon so they could spend New Year's Eve partying it up on Bourbon Street. That is, if they managed to leave the hotel room. Knowing my best friend, I doubted it. Personally I was stoked that they weren't dragging it out. They didn't need pomp and circ.u.mstance to make the love between them official.

"She showed up with me under duress." I grinned at him. "I don't really get her."

Asa chuckled and flicked his golden hair out of his eyes. "But you want to? Get her, I mean."

I grunted again. "Did you see her? Of course I want to, but she's throwing out some pretty strong 'h.e.l.l no' signals. I'm not interested in pushing my luck." That wasn't entirely true. I wanted to push and push, not that I thought it would get me anywhere. I kind of dug the mystery to all of it. She always had me guessing.

I'm sure the conversation would have kept going, but Rule's dad stuck his head in the room where we were all gathered and gave his son a nod and a grin.

"The girls are ready to get this show on the road. I sure am proud of you boys."

Rule nodded and I saw his chest expand and release. The rest of the guys pounded him on the back, leaving just the three of us in the wedding party behind.

"You good?"

Rome clapped his brother on the shoulder.

"I'm f.u.c.king great."

We all chuckled and I gave him a fist b.u.mp.

"You are f.u.c.king great, and so is she, so this is gonna rule."

He lifted his pierced eyebrow at the pun and I grinned at him. We were tight for a reason.

"Let's do this. Let's get you married." I was surprised that there was some pretty thick emotion working in my voice.

Rome fiddled with his tie some more. I guess when you had a neck like a fullback, ties weren't very comfortable.

He looked at Rule and asked, "Did Shaw's mom show?"

Rule shook his head. "Nope. I called her and told her what I thought about the entire situation and promptly got told to go to h.e.l.l. Shaw seems okay with it. Her dad is here with a chick that looks like she's maybe eighteen at the most. He wanted to walk Casper down the aisle, but she told him no. She's having Dad do it."

That made sense to me. The Archers had always been Shaw's real family. Like Rome had told Rule when he was thinking about proposing, giving her his last name was just a formality.

We lingered at the back of the room while Rule took his waiting mom's arm and made his way to where the ordained officiant waited. Fittingly enough, Brite Walker, Rome's mentor and an ex-marine, was an ordained minister. He looked like a member of a biker gang, but was one of the most centered, thoughtful men any of us had ever met. He had played a big part in bringing Rome back to the land of the living, and neither Rule nor Shaw could think of a better person to guide them into a life as man and wife. Just like he had offered Rome a new start, their thinking was he was the best person to give them a new start on a life as a married couple.

The girls came out of the elevator and both Rome and I lost our breath. Cora looked like a fairy princess from a Disney cartoon-granted, with a full sleeve of tattoos and a round baby belly. Rome bent down and kissed her until it was almost awkward for the rest of us. Ayden was a knockout even on a bad day. The blue made her dark hair pop and the silly grin on her face made me smile back at her just as goofy.

"Jet is so jealous of me right now."

She scoffed at me and put her hand in the curve of my elbow.

"It's good for him. He was out of town all last week. That means he won't be able to resist me later."

"Does he ever? Resist you? Because if he does, maybe I need to tell him he's doing being married wrong."

She made a face at me and dug her nails into my forearm, which made me laugh. I knew that her and Jet couldn't keep their hands off each other, so I was only teasing her.

When my gaze landed on Shaw as she came out of the dressing room she had been in, I was surprised at the wealth of sentiment I felt at looking at her. She was beautiful. Like something out of a fantasy or anyone's vision of "this is the perfect bride." Her white-blond-and-black hair was twisted all up. Her dress was poufy and long, like a ballerina's, and tied with a pale blue sash in the middle. She was holding on to the senior Archer's arm, and Dale looked like any proud papa should. Rome maneuvered around his dad and bent down and gave the beautiful bride to be a kiss on the cheek. It was a good day for all the Archers ... and the rest of us as well.

I told her honestly, "You look perfect."

She blushed prettily and glanced at Rome.

He lifted the eyebrow under his scarred forehead and told her bluntly, "What he said. Rule is a lucky b.a.s.t.a.r.d for sure."

Shaw just giggled and looked impatient.

"Let's do this."

We all faced the front, the clock face behind Rule and Brite showing the beautiful Denver skyline and making the most memorable Christmas Eve ever. Jet and his band started to play "Silver Mountains" by the Deadstring Brothers and I don't think anyone in the room had dry eyes by the end of the song. Jet was in a metal band, could scream his a.s.s off with the best of them, but when he used those pipes to really, really sing, it just did something magical to the people lucky enough to hear it.

We made our way down the aisle. I saw Ayden turn her head so that she could watch Jet. He blew her a kiss that made her sigh, and I shifted my eyes around until I found the storm-colored gaze I was searching for. Saint was watching me. She had her full bottom lip clamped between her teeth, and she had her hands clasped tightly together on her lap. Her eyes were shiny and bright. She had pink in her pale cheeks, and even from this distance I could see her pulse fluttering in her throat. If I didn't know better, I would say she was looking at me the way Cora was looking at Rome, the way Ayden was looking at Jet. I couldn't get my head around it, around her, but man, did I want to. She was fascinating. I wondered if I'd ever really know what made the pretty redhead tick.

I didn't have any more time to ponder it because we reached the front of the aisle. I kissed Ayden on the cheek, did the same to Cora, which earned me a hard look from Rome. Rule and I shared a chuckle, and I took my place next to the Archer brothers. It was a proud place to be.

Jet and the band switched to "Everybody Needs Love," the Drive-By Truckers version, which was Shaw's favorite, and she and Dale appeared at the back of the elegantly decorated room. I heard a couple of gasps, saw some jaws drop, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Rule physically jolt.

"d.a.m.n."

The word was barely a breath of sound, and before either Rome or I could react, Rule was walking down the aisle in the direction of his future bride and his dad, who had stopped at his approach. Rome and I exchanged a knowing look and just shrugged when the girls looked at us questioningly.

Rule grabbed Shaw's face in both of his hands and kissed her like he was supposed to do at the end of the ceremony. Dale stepped out of the way and Margot, the Archer matriarch, called her son's name in frustration. It was totally a Rule thing to do. He was impulsive, a little wild, but there was nothing in the world that would keep him from that girl, so of course he was the one who walked her down the aisle and to their spot in front of Brite. I couldn't stop grinning like an idiot, and the one time I caught sight of Saint, I was happy to see she was smiling as well. That kind of love was hard not to appreciate.

Brite was grinning as well, his smile barely visible through his long, gray beard. Looking like a jolly, friendly h.e.l.l's Angel, Brite proceeded to marry my best friend to the girl of his dreams. It was awesome, touching, everything it was supposed to be, and so were their vows.

Shaw vowed to love Rule just as he was, to never ask him to be anything other than the man he was. She promised to wait out his bad temper and the hissy fits that he was p.r.o.ne to and to never question what color his hair was for the week. She vowed to love him like she had since the first time she had seen him, and vowed that he would always be her one and only. She told him that he was everything she had ever wanted. It was all true and it made me happy to hear her promise that for an eternity to my very difficult and complicated friend.

Rule was choked up, so it took him a minute to recite his vows, but when he did I knew the impact of his heartfelt words stunned all of us. He wasn't a dude that was good with emotion on the best day, even though Shaw had helped him with that, but today he was putting his heart out there for everyone to see.

He told her that he never thought anyone would be able to fill the void in his life that Remy had left when he died, but somehow she had gotten inside of him and there was no more room for anything else. She just filled his heart and his life so full there were no more empty spots and he knew that ultimately Remy would be thrilled for them. That, of course, had everyone misty-eyed and clearing their throats.

He promised to always take care of her, to make everyone treat her with the love and kindness she deserved. He told her he would love her even when she was a doctor and making three times the money he did, and vowed to do his best to give her anything and everything she ever wanted and needed from this point on. He whispered so that only those of us standing up at the front could hear, "You are everything to me, Casper."

A collective sigh went up from the group when Shaw smiled up at him through the tears running down her face and said simply, "All I want and need is you."

Brite called it good enough, they exchanged rings, we all cheered and offered hugs and high fives, and just like that, Rule and Shaw were man and wife.

We had all gathered in the back of the clock tower, took forty-five minutes for fussing, congratulations, and photos, when Phil slid up next to me and muttered in my ear, "You better work some magic or your date is going to bolt. She's a sweet little thing, but she's as skittish as a newborn filly."

I swore and maneuvered my way through the crowd, waved Rowdy off when he tried to stop me, and eventually had to ride the elevator twenty stories down to the lobby in order to find her. She had her cell phone in her hand and seemed like she was having an argument with herself.

"Saint?"

She jolted and looked up at me. There was no way to describe the look on her face other than guilty. Like I had just caught her in the midst of doing something wrong.

She held her phone out like it was a shield between us.

"I'm just going to call a cab to take me back to my car. You go back to your friends." Her voice was high and breathy. I frowned because I didn't have a clue as to what was going on.

"If you want to go home, I'll take you back to your car." I hooked a finger in the knot of the tie at my throat and pulled it loose. I would give anything to read this girl's mind.

"No, no ... you stay. It's fine. It was really lovely. Thank you for inviting me."

I was done arguing with her. She already had her coat on, so I just grabbed her wrist, the one she was holding out in front of her, and dragged her to the front door. Her high-heeled shoes clicked frantically as she scrambled to keep up with me.

"Come on."

She huffed out a protest and tried to pull free, but I didn't let her. I just marched her unwillingly to where the Charger was parked on the street. I was annoyed and I was frustrated, but more than that, I was confused why she had agreed to come with me if she didn't want to be here in the first place.

We didn't talk the entire way back to the apartment. She was breathing low and shallow, twisting her hands together, and staring straight out the window. When we got to the Victorian, we simultaneously climbed out of the car and I slammed the door shut harder than I needed to. I stared at her over the roof of the vehicle and she opened her mouth like she was going to say something, so I held up my hand to stop her. I couldn't figure out why one of us always seemed to be warding the other off.

"Just ... have a good night, Saint."

I jogged up the sidewalk to the front of the building and didn't look back to see if she even got into her little car or not. That was pretty rude of me and I never did stuff like that, but this chick was messing with my head and I wasn't sure how to navigate that along with everything else in my life right now. I had the key in the door and was pushing it open when I felt small hands at my back. Before I could turn around and look to see what was going on, I was shoved forward into my apartment and the door was slammed shut behind me. I spun around to face Saint and she gazed up at me like a wild Valkyrie. Her red hair was curly and wild all around her face, her steely eyes were open wide, and her chest was rising and falling in an erratic rhythm. A pretty awesome sight really, but I was still p.i.s.sed off at her.

"This is so screwed up, Nash. I have no idea what I'm doing."

I didn't know what to say to that, couldn't say anything because all of a sudden she was right in front of me and her hands, shaking and nervous, were pulling on the b.u.t.tons of my black shirt and stripping the tie from around my neck.

"What?" I sounded bewildered because I was, but there was no way I was going to stop her. Not when she was pulling the tails of my shirt out of my pants and her hands were brushing enticingly across my abs and lower back with a frantic haste.

"Everything that I know is logical tells me I'm so sure about things, and then my body sneaks up on me and screams at me and I feel like I don't know anything anymore. I can't tell if I'm coming or going. I saw you up there, you looked so handsome, so perfect, oh my G.o.d, I just wanted to jump you, and that so isn't me. And then I saw how happy everyone looked, so in love, and I almost had a panic attack, and I can't even explain why. I just had to get out of there. I'm sorry."

I put my hands on her shoulders to hold her away because this was insane. But she had her fingers under my belt buckle and my zipper was going down without a fight.

"Saint, stop. I would've just brought you home if you told me you were uncomfortable. Anyone might be in a room full of people that are emotional. And it was intense, because Rule and Shaw are intense. I would've understood, and no one could blame you for needing some s.p.a.ce from it. f.u.c.k, I was just happy you even agreed to go with me."

She stopped what she was doing, which was pulling my shirt off my shoulders and pushing me back until my a.s.s was resting on the back of the couch. When there was nowhere else for me to go, she put her hand flat on the center of my chest and looked up at me with those thundercloud-colored eyes.

"I know, and that's what made me freak out."

"I don't understand." I was trying to be coherent and reasonable, but my d.i.c.k was starting to pay way closer attention to what she was doing than my brain was.

"I don't know who you are, Nash."

"I don't really know who you are either, Saint, but if you gave this half a chance, we could change that."

She shook her head and leaned into me so that we were pressed so tightly together there was no end to her and no beginning of me.

"I don't know that you would like me once you got to know me, and the Nash I thought I knew ..." She looked so lost all I wanted to do was give her a hug. "I hated him, but you ... this Nash ... all I do is want him."

It was convoluted and confusing. I probably should have had something brilliant to say to her, some kind of thoughtful insight to put this all in perspective. I maybe should have been able to read into the subtle subtext of her words and her tone, but she quickly sealed her mouth over mine. Then she shoved her hand down the front of my pants, and I lost not only any will to object but also my balance, and we toppled over onto the other side of the couch. It was more than just a free fall onto the cushions ... it was a free fall into one another.

Her hair was everywhere. She tasted like oranges and fire. Her hand had a solid grip on my rock-hard c.o.c.k, and I felt her pause for a second when her palm slid over the head and encountered the different pieces of metal that lived there. I had a Prince Albert through the tip and a little tiny barbell that lived just under the curve of the head that they called a frenum piercing. Normally I warned anyone I was going to get naked with that the piercings were there, but she never gave me the chance and she didn't seem like she had any intention of slowing the pace down.

The way we landed had her on top of me, her legs on either side of my waist. Her hands were all over me, the one inside my boxers making it impossible to have any kind of lucid thought. She was kissing my neck, returning to suck on my mouth, her hair felt like silken tentacles I was never going to escape from. Somehow even though there was limited movement allowed and s.p.a.ce was minimal, she got my pants down around my hips and moved my boxers out of the way so that I was standing up erect and proud. Her hand looked super pale next to the hard, red flesh, and when she used the tip of one finger to touch the piercing that lived right under the tip, my eyes rolled back in my head and I hissed out a breath through clenched teeth. Holy s.h.i.t, no simple touch had ever had me ready to come like hers did.

"Of course you would be pierced." She sounded amused, and I didn't know what to say to that, not when she bent down and ran her tongue over the flat of my nipple. I was practically pulsating her hand. She had me all turned around and lost. I was trying desperately to figure out what we were doing and where we were going and I wasn't sure there was a map to show us how to get wherever it was she expected me to be at.

"Saintttt ..." The word got garbled and lost when she lifted up off of me just enough so that she could wiggle around and get her black panties off under the hem of her little black dress. It struck me then that she was still fully clothed, even had her shoes on, and I was stripped and exposed while she did what she wanted, took what she needed from me.

Something about that didn't sit right, and I wanted to tell her so, when she bent down, kissed me again, and asked against my mouth, "Condom?"

All right, I was a decent guy, had a pretty st.u.r.dy set of standards and morals, but when a girl was this hot, made my head this fuzzy, had my heart beating so hard I was sure she could hear it, and she pretty much demanded I have s.e.x with her, who was I to argue? I lifted my hips up and that made her gasp because now there was nothing between us where she was straddling me and I saw her eyes go from that oh-so-lovely gray to a slate color that hovered close to black. I handed her my wallet, told her to fish one out, wrapped my hand in her wealth of hair, and pulled her down so that I could kiss her like I wanted to. I had to have some say in this after all, even if Saint calling the shots landed me under her, with all her damp heat pressed up close against me.

I kissed her with no lingering anger, no sadness, no desperation or bleakness hovering between us for the first time. I just wanted to savor her tangy flavor, revel in the way she rolled her tongue along mine, marvel at the way she sort of swore and whispered my name at the same time. This was how she should be kissed every time ... by me and only me.

I felt her shift her weight and her hand that was sliding up and down my shaft, trying to kill me with gentle pressure and a delicate touch. I couldn't see what she was doing because the skirt of her dress was in the way. h.e.l.l, I couldn't even tell if she had freckles across those awesome b.r.e.a.s.t.s, because as close as we were right now, she was very obviously still keeping firm mental and physical boundaries in place.