"How could you tell they were 'terrists'?"

She clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes. "They were *whispering*,"

she said. "Just like on *Captain President and the Freedom Fighters*."

He knew something of this cartoon, mostly because of all the knock-off merch for sale in the market stalls in front of the ride.

"I see," he said. "Well, I'm glad the Sky Marshas stopped them. Do you want pancakes?"

"I want caramel apple chocolate pancakes with blueberry banana sauce,"

she said, rolling one pudgy finger along the description in the glossy menu, beneath an oozing food-p.o.r.n photo. "And my brother wants a chocolate milkshake and a short stack of happy face clown waffles with strawberry sauce, but not too many because he's still a baby and can't eat much."

"You'll become as fat as your daddy if you eat like that," Perry said. Eva snorted beside him.

"No," she said. "I'm gonna be a fatkins."

"I see," he said. Eva shook her head.

"It's the G.o.dd.a.m.ned fatkins agitprop games," Eva said. "They come free with everything now -- digital cameras, phones, even in cereal boxes. You have to eat a minimum number of calories per level or you starve to death. This one is a champeen."

"I'm nationally ranked," the little girl said, not looking up from the menu.

Perry looked across the table and discovered that Suzanne had covered Lester's hand with hers and that Lester was laughing along with her at something funny. Something about that made him a little freaked out, like Lester was making time with his sister or their mom.

"Suzanne," he said. "What's happening with you these days, anyway?"

"Petersburg is what's happening with me," she said, with a hoa.r.s.e little chuckle. "Petersburg is like Detroit crossed with Paris. Completely decrepit and decadent. There's a serial killer who's been working the streets for five years there and the biggest obstacle to catching him is that the first cops on the scene let rubberneckers bribe them to take home evidence as souvenirs."

"No way!" Lester said.

"Oh, da, big vay," she said, dropping into a comical Boris and Natasha accent. "Bolshoi vay."

"So why are you there?"

"It's like home for me. It's got enough of Detroit's old brutal, earthy feel, plus enough of Silicon Valley's manic hustle, it just feels right."

"You going to settle in there?"

"Well, put that way, no. I couldn't hack it for the long term. But at this time in my life, it's been just right. But it's good to get back to the States, too. I'm thinking of hanging out here for a couple months. Russia's so cheap, I've got a ton saved up. Might as well blow it before inflation kills it."

"You keep your money in rubles?"

"h.e.l.l no -- no one uses rubles except tourists. I'm worried about another run of *US* inflation. I mean, have you looked around lately?

You're living in a third world country, buddy."

A waiter came between them, handing out heaping, steaming plates of food. Lester, who'd finished his first breakfast while they waited, had ordered a second breakfast, which arrived along with the rest of them. Mountains of food stacked up on the table, side-plates crowding jugs of apple juice and carafes of coffee.

Incredibly, the food kept coming -- multiple syrup-jugs, plates of hash-browns, baskets of biscuits and bowls of white sausage gravy. Perry hadn't paid much attention when orders were being taken, but from the looks of things, he was eating with a bunch of IHOP virgins, unaccustomed to the astonishing portions to be had there.

He c.o.c.ked his funny eyebrow at Suzanne, who laughed. "OK, not quite a third-world country. But not a real industrial nation anymore, either. Maybe more like the end-days of Rome or something. Drowning in wealth and wallowing in poverty." She forked up a mouthful of hash browns and chased them with coffee. Perry attacked his own plate.

Kettlewell fed the kids, sneaking bites in-between, while Eva looked on approvingly. "You're a good man, Landon Kettlewell," she said, slicing up her steak and eggs into small, precise cubes, wielding the knife like an artist.

"You just enjoy your breakfast, my queen," he said, spooning oatmeal with raisins, bananas, granola and boysenberry jam into the little boy's mouth.

"We got you presents," the little girl said, taking a break from shoveling banana-chocolate caramel apples into her mouth.

"Really?" Perry raised his funny eyebrow and she giggled. He did it again, making it writhe like a snake. She snarfed choco-banana across the table, then scooped it up and put it back in her mouth.

She nodded vigorously. "Dad, give them their presents!"

Kettlewell said, "Someone has to feed your brother, you know."

"I'll do it," she said. She forked up some of his oatmeal and attempted to get it into the little boy's face. "Presents!"

Kettlewell dug through the luggage-cl.u.s.ter under the table and came up with an overstuffed diaper bag, then pawed through it for a long time, urged on by his daughter who kept chanting "Presents! Presents!

Presents!" while attempting to feed her little brother. Eva and Lester and Suzanne took up the chant. They were drawing stares from nearby tables, but Perry didn't mind. He was laughing so hard his sides hurt.

Finally Kettlewell held a paper bag aloft triumphantly, then clapped a hand over his daughter's mouth and shushed the rest.

"You guys are really hard to shop for," he said. "What the h.e.l.l do you get for two guys who not only have everything, but *make* everything?"

Suzanne nodded. "d.a.m.ned right. We spent a whole day looking for something."

"What is it?"

"Well," Kettlewell said. "We figured that it should be something useful, not decorative. You guys have decorative coming out of your a.s.ses. So that left us with tools. We wanted to find you a tool that you didn't have, and that you would appreciate."

Suzanne picked up the story. "I thought we should get you an antique tool, something so well-made that it was still usable. But to be useful, it had to be something no one had improved on, and that had in fact been degraded by modern manufacturing techniques.

"At first we looked at old tape-measures, but I remembered that you guys were mostly using keychain laser range-finders these days. Screwdrivers, pliers, and hammers were all out -- I couldn't find a d.a.m.ned thing that looked any better than what you had around here. The state of the art is genuinely progressing.

"There were a lot of nice old bra.s.s spirit-levels and hand-lathed plumb-bobs but they were more decorative than useful by a d.a.m.ned sight. Great old steel work-helmets looked cool, but they weighed about a hundred times what the safety helmets around here weigh.

"We were going to give in and try to bring you guys a big G.o.dd.a.m.ned tube-amp, or maybe some Inuit gla.s.s knives, but I didn't see you having much of a use for either.

"Which is how we came to give up on tools per se and switched over to leisure -- sports tools. There was a much richer vein. Wooden bats, oh yes, and real pigskin footb.a.l.l.s that had nice idiosyncratic spin that you'd have to learn to compensate for. But when we found these, we knew we'd hit pay-dirt."

She picked up Kettlewell's paper sack with a flourish and unzipped it. A moment later she presented them with two identical packages wrapped in coa.r.s.e linen paper hand-stamped with Victorian woodcuts of sporting men swinging bats and charging the line with pigskins under their arms.

"Ta-dah!"

The kids echoed it. "These are the best presents," the little girl confided in Perry as he picked delicately at the exquisite paper.

The paper gave way in folds and curls, and then he and Lester both held their treasures aloft.

"Baseball gloves!" Perry said.

"A catcher's mitt and a fielder's glove," Kettlewell said. "You look at that catcher's mitt. 1910!" It was black and bulbous, the leather soft and yielding, with a patina of fine cracks like an old painting. It smelled like oil and leather, an old rich smell like a gentleman's club or an expensive briefcase. Perry tried it on and it molded itself to his hand, snug and comfortable. It practically cried out to have a ball thrown at it.

"And this fielder's glove," Kettlewell went on, pointing at the glove Lester held. It was the more traditional tan color, comically large like the glove of a cartoon character. It too had the look of ancient, well-loved leather, the same mysterious smell of hide and oil. Perry touched it with a finger and it felt like a woman's cheek, smooth and soft. "Rawlings XPG6. The Mickey Mantle. Early 1960s -- the ultimate glove."