No, there would be no more distance between them. No more secrets. And having her know almost all of his was freeing in a way he'd never imagined.

Upstairs, he turned on the shower, then slowly and carefully stripped her bare. Then he got himself naked and pulled both of them into the shower, pushing her against the shower wall and letting the hot water wash everything away.

Her body was as sleek as a seal's and her mouth was hungry beneath his as he kissed her. And he was about to lift her against the wall and take her again when her hands pushed against his chest.

He lifted his head, looking down at her. Her face was flushed, water droplets catching in her eyelashes. "What?" he demanded.

"I want to give you something, Alex."

"What are you talking about?"

She didn't speak, only slipped away, coming around behind him. He turned and caught her brilliant green gaze.

Then she sank to her knees in front of him, water streaming over her hair and pale skin. "You've tasted me. Can't I taste you?"

His breath caught, unease twisting inside him.

But she didn't touch him, her gaze searching his face. "He's still in your head, isn't he?"

Alex wanted to say no, but of course that wasn't true. If it were, he wouldn't be hesitating. "He sucked me off." He forced the words out because he'd told her he didn't want any more secrets. And Jesus, she knew just about everything else. "And I didn't want him to."

She paled, yet her gaze didn't leave his. "But he's not here now."

He reached out, cupped her cheek. "Katya, I-"

"He can't touch you, Alex. Remember that. Not while I'm here."

Almost of its own accord, his thumb stroked her lovely mouth, tracing the outline of her full lower lip. Christ, he could do this, couldn't he? After all, it was pretty ironic, a playboy afraid of a blow job....

When he sucked you off, you cried as you came. And he laughed.

No, fuck that.

His hand dropped and he leaned back against the shower wall. "Do it."

Katya gave a single sharp nod. Then she knelt upright and put a hand on his thigh. "Watch me. Keep your eyes on me."

He wanted to laugh at the irony of the reversal, but he suddenly felt too desperate, too raw, for laughter. "Of course," he said roughly. "Where else would I look?"

Her cheeks had lost that pale look, her eyes glittering. She reached for his cock and instantly he was hard at the slick feel of her fingers around him. At the sight of her pale skin circling his dick. Then he noticed that her hand was shaking.

This is different. She makes it different.

He put his hand around hers, the way he had when she'd put the condom on him. "Don't be afraid."

"I've never done this before." She took a little breath. "I want this to be good for you."

Who'd ever told him that? Who'd ever said, I want this to be good for you? No one. He'd said it to lots of other women, but no one had ever said it back. No one had ever wanted it to be good for him.

The unease, the strange cold, began to fade.

"It will be," he said. "Feel me, Katya. This is what you do to me. Nothing you do could ever be anything less than spectacular."

She flushed, pink staining her cheeks, holding his gaze. "Let go."

He released his hold, his hand dropping away. And a shudder coiled at the base of his spine as her fingers gently squeezed him.

"Look at me, Alex."

And he did, looking down into her eyes. Green and gold. So beautiful. Familiar.

"Tell me what to do."

"Lick me. Use your tongue."

She leaned forward, and he took a sharp breath as he watched her lick the head of his cock, the heat of her tongue sending a pulse of electricity all the way down his spine. She blinked at the sound, but when he pushed his fingers into the wet silk of her hair, gripping her again, she gave him another lick, watching his face.

Desire climbed, an exquisite pressure, and there was no unease. No fear.

Because this was different. This was Katya kneeling at his feet. Katya with her mouth on him. Katya who was making sure Conrad never touched him again.

He had a fistful of golden hair and he closed his fingers even tighter on it, using the softness to remind him where he was and who he was with. A lifeline.

"Open your mouth," he ordered, unable to help himself, his voice fraying as her tongue circled the head of his cock. "Suck me. Do it now."

Her pink mouth opened and took him in, searing heat engulfing him.

"Oh ... fuck...." He kept watching her, unable to look away as her mouth moved on him. She'd put her free hand on his hip, clutching him to steady herself as she began to suck him. She was tentative, unpracticed, but he didn't care. Because for the first time in his life the fear seemed to have melted away, leaving only a pleasure so deep he couldn't think.

He kept watching, guiding the movements of her head with his grip in her hair, feeling the sheer weight of that pleasure begin to crush him.

"I'm going to come, Katya," he whispered. "And I don't want you to stop. I want your mouth on me when I do. Do you want that?"

Her fingers spread on his hip, pressing him against the wall of the shower, giving a short, sharp nod of her head. And then she kept going, drawing him in deeper, increasing the suction until he felt himself begin to spin out of control. Until every single fucking thing began to spin out of control.

And it was beautiful and it was right and he joined the chaos, throwing back his head as the orgasm exploded in his head, a bright flare of color and light in the darkness. Blinding him, annihilating him.

It took him hours to come down from the high, or at least it felt like hours. And when he did, Katya was still kneeling at his feet, the water streaming over both of them, her hair clutched tight between his fingers.

His lifeline.

Slowly, he released her, then reached for her upper arms, drawing her slowly to her feet. A flush had crept down her neck and shoulders. "Was that-"

"Perfect. It was absolutely fucking perfect."

Her mouth curved and it stole his breath completely. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

He leaned forward and kissed her, tasting himself on her lips. And it was so fucking erotic he was hard all over again.

"Yes," he murmured against her lips. "You can do that again."

CHAPTER FIFTEEN.

Alex got out of the car and held the door open as Katya got out. She was in one of Scott's gowns tonight. Black silk and relatively modest, the neckline wide across the shoulders to reveal their lovely shape and the ivory skin of Katya's throat and neck. The rest of the gown was saved from complete austerity by the cut, following every inch of her lithe, athletic figure, the hem brushing the floor.

A wave of possessiveness gripped him as he watched her, which was unusual for him, since he didn't get possessive of his lovers. But ... the way she'd touched him in the shower earlier that day, like she was claiming him for herself, claiming him back from Conrad, had been so fucking good. Made him feel so fucking powerful. More like himself, the way he was always meant to be, not someone frantically papering over the cracks and hoping no one would see.

She'd been right. He had needed her. Had needed to be inside her, have her hands on him, her mouth, covering himself with her warmth and her scent, canceling out those bitter memories. So Conrad couldn't touch him.

No one can, not while you're hers.

And that wasn't an unpleasant thought. In fact, the thought of being anyone else's seemed strange right now. Wrong on some deep level. He knew he shouldn't be thinking that, though, so he didn't examine the feeling too closely, watching Katya come toward him instead.

The gown had been her choice for the evening and he'd approved. It made her look sexual yet powerful, a woman in control. Definitely not the plaything she'd given the impression of being at the past two visits to the Four Horsemen. Perhaps it gave away her true nature more than was advisable, but shit, he didn't much care anymore. Now she was both his bodyguard and his lover, and regardless of her role tonight, she would be a strength, not a weakness.

And she would be beside him when he crushed that motherfucker into the ground.

Intense satisfaction moved through him and he smiled at her as she put her hand on his arm. She smiled back and his breath caught. Ah, so that's what she looked like when she smiled. Goddamn, fucking beautiful.

He put his hand over hers on his arm, touching her skin as they walked up the steps to the casino and into the foyer. The doorman inclined his head, showing them to the elevators.

But when they got to the gaming room floor and the doors opened, they found the room empty but for Conrad sitting down one end of the poker table. He rose as Alex and Katya stepped out of the elevator and into the room, a smile on his face. "Welcome. I was wondering when you'd arrive."

Alex didn't move, didn't allow a trace of his surprise to show on his face. "Oh, are we late? Or perhaps the others are even later?"

Conrad's smile widened. "Ah well, I'm afraid the others won't be joining us this evening. Their game is over. It's just going to be you and I tonight. And of course your lovely bodyguard."

This was all excellent. Conrad had gotten rid of the other players and Alex hadn't even needed to do a thing. And if the prick was hoping he'd be shocked that Katya had been unmasked, he was sadly mistaken.

Alex laughed. "Took you long enough to figure that one out. I thought you'd guess the first night."

"Well, she was moderately convincing," Conrad admitted, seating himself once again. "Especially during the reception when you gave her an orgasm in that chair. Which was quite ... arousing, I have to admit. You've got quite the way with women, son."

Of course he had seen. Had watched them. Had watched her ...

Despite himself, a small bubble of rage burst in his head, a bright explosion of color, while at the same time it felt like he'd taken a bath in raw sewage. Her first orgasm, that private moment, taken from her. Watched by this man with his prurient interest.

The pressure of Katya's hand on Alex's arm increased as she gave him a small squeeze. A reminder of her presence and her strength. Conrad couldn't touch him anymore. Couldn't touch either of them ...

Conrad's gaze was cold, watching Alex with the same detached interest as a snake watches a mouse in preparation for devouring it.

He let his mouth turn up in a satisfied shit-eating grin. "Glad we could provide some entertainment."

"I thought you'd be pleased." Conrad's hooded gaze flicked to Katya. "She's even blushing, bless her. But tell me, what was the point of the deception?"

Alex made a careless gesture. "A bit of fun. You know how it is." He allowed his smile to fade a little. "So what happened to the rest of them? Don't tell me their playing put the fear of God into you?"

Conrad laughed. "Shit, no. If you hadn't noticed, they couldn't play their way out of a wet paper bag. No, I thought if I was going to play, then I wanted a real challenge. After all, I don't get many of them these days." Idly, he picked up one of the packs of cards on the table, sliding them out of their box. It was a new pack, his fingers delicately pulling off the plastic wrap with small, precise movements. "I confess, son, that your little wager piqued my curiosity. Those Circles clubs of yours are very successful. Plus there was also that ... other matter you promised. I don't want any outside interference and I don't want any other challengers. Tonight, it's just you and me." He raised a brow. "I hope you don't mind."

As if. "Why would I mind? Apocalypse was never about the poker anyway."

Something flickered in the other man's gaze. Fucking finally. Had he surprised him?

Conrad had begun shuffling the cards, snapping them from one hand to the other in an idle display of dexterity. "Of course it wasn't about the poker. Which begs the question as to why you're here?"

"I was invited." Alex turned and began to descend the stairs into the room, Katya silent beside him. "You know that."

"Revenge?" Conrad's voice was casual. "Is that what you're after?"

Alex pulled out the chair next to him for Katya, gesturing for her to sit. Using the moment to think. Did he want it all out on the table right now? Or did he want to deny it? Make Conrad push?

"Revenge?" Alex gave a short laugh, deciding he wanted to see how far the other man would go. "After nineteen years? Hardly. Why would I bother?"

Conrad's hands paused mid-shuffle, his flat hazel stare sharp as a needle. Then he smiled. "I took your virginity in a casino bathroom, boy. I used you hard. I would have thought you'd have something to say about that? Or is it only that you're coming back for more?"

The silence that fell was complete, redolent with the other man's satisfaction. He thought he'd delivered Alex a mortal blow, or at least one that would gut him. That would humiliate him. And maybe if Alex hadn't already told Katya what had happened, it would have done both. But he had told her. He'd said it out loud. And somehow doing that had drained both the pain and the humiliation from the truth.

Yet it was a truth that should have been Alex's to give, and in bringing it up now in front of Katya it felt like once again Conrad was seeking to take his choice from him.

The rage already simmering inside him threatened to break through. It would be so easy to launch himself across the table and choke the life out of that motherfucker. So easy ...

But no. He had a plan and he was going to stick to it. The son of a bitch had to suffer.

Alex pushed away the anger. Made himself diamond hard. He turned to his own seat and dropped into it, leaning back as if he were completely at his ease. "Christ, was that what happened?" he said casually. "I can't remember. It was so long ago."

"Really?" Conrad's voice dropped into a purr. "I remember it. How you came in my mouth when I sucked you off. And how you cried afterwards. It was quite endearing."

Alex laughed, because again, Conrad was trying to hurt him. And again, he failed. Katya had already taken that particular pain away. "Jesus. Well, I was sixteen after all. Anyway, I've had my dick sucked by a lot of different people over the years. The faces tend to blur, if you get my drift." He paused and lifted an eyebrow. "What? Did you want to be special, Conrad? Were you hoping I treasured those memories? That I was desperate to relive them again?"

The other man's gaze flickered and he gave a short laugh, but this time it sounded a little forced. "Of course not. How much fun would that be?" Abruptly he put the cards back down on the table. "And as much fun as all this small talk is, perhaps we should get to the game?"

Clearly Conrad had been expecting Alex to get angry or lose his cool, or fall to pieces or something. Well, he could wait all night for that to happen. Alex wasn't sixteen anymore.

A staff member came over to the table, placing a vodka on the side table next to Alex and a glass of champagne next to Katya.

Conrad shifted and pulled something from the chair next to him, a slim, black laptop. He placed it in the middle of the table. "I promised you I'd have something worth staking at the next game. Here it is."

Alex said nothing, merely waited. Of course the stake wouldn't be the laptop; he wasn't that stupid.

After a moment, Conrad opened the laptop and pushed a button; then he turned the screen so it faced both Alex and Katya. "I think you'll find this interesting."

A video started to play, the picture grainy and dimly lit. The interior of what looked to be a bar of some kind. It was vaguely familiar.