'When he dies?'

'It's like I said I'll go dance on his grave.'

'You won't. You'll wish you'd seen him one last time. You'll wish you'd made your peace. My sister died. Pat, it matters when a person dies.'

'You loved your sister that's what matters. You're beating yourself up for failing Charlie. But that's not the problem, because deep in your heart you know you didn't fail your sister. You're sad because a person you loved very much is dead. I think you should forgive yourself, don't you?'

'Perhaps I'll try. Pat, do you feel better now?' she asked.

'Yeah, I do.' It was the truth, I did. It was like a burden had been lifted. I kissed her on the forehead. 'Thank you for hearing my confession.'

'It's no problem. Thank you very much for hearing mine.' Rosie looked at me. 'I expect you're hungry now? If you give me your mobile, I'll phone up for a pizza.'

'Let's get pizza later. Let's track down your cell. We might not have much time.'

ROSIE.

'You're going to need a magic spell,' I told him.

'So let's find one, then.'

It took him twenty seconds flat to find and then download an application which he said could send commands to my lost phone and get it to respond. 'I don't see how,' I muttered. 'It sounds like something out of Harry Potter. Accio phone that sort of thing? You command, my phone obeys?'

'Yeah, that's certainly the plan,' he told me, tapping on his keypad. 'So now you keep your fingers crossed, you knock on wood, you stroke your lucky rabbit's foot and you believe in magic.'

As I watched him tapping, I thought about the gasoline. I thought about the frightened little child, the one who wanted more than anything to help his mother, who confessed to save his mother, knowing he'd be beaten half to death as a result. I understood that this was courage. I also understood I should be kinder to my mother. If and when I got my phone back, she'd be the first person I would ring, and from now on I would be nice to Mum, however much she patronised and irritated me and told me how to live my life.

I would not forget that she'd lost someone precious, too.

'How's it going, Pat?' I asked.

'We're almost done.' He tapped more keys, looked up at me. 'Okay, I guess it's sorted.'

'You mean you've tracked it down?' I stared at him, astonished. 'You've really found my mobile?'

'No, not yet, it's going to take a while. So now we wait. Why don't you go put the kettle on?'

The first email arrived five minutes later as we were drinking coffee, followed by another message, then another, then three more. Then- 'Gotcha!' Pat exclaimed and punched the air.

'You've found it?'

'Yeah, I found it.'

'You really can do magic!'

'Well magic sometimes happens.'

'You are amazing, you know that?' I was so excited I spilled coffee on my lap. 'Where is it, then?'

'You had the good news, here's the bad.' He glanced up from the screen to look at me, his brown eyes serious and kind. 'I'm sorry, Rosie. If we're to believe the GPS, looks like your cell will be impossible to find.'

'Why's that?'

'See here.'

He turned the screen to show me and I could have wept. The GPS had pinpointed a London landfill site. 'But how on earth did it get there?' I wailed.

'Maybe someone stole it from your bag or pocket while you rode the subway, saw it was an older model, threw it in the trash?'

'No.' I cursed myself. 'I bought some sandwiches for lunch and ate them walking down the road. I stuffed the empty wrapper in my bag, but then I pulled it out again and chucked it as I pa.s.sed a bin. I must have thrown my phone away as well. Oh, I'm such an idiot!'

'Anybody could have done it, sweetheart. Do you want me to erase the card?'

'Yes, if you could?'

'You're sure?'

'I'm sure.'

'It will take a minute, couple minutes. I'll need to-'

'No.' I grabbed his hand. 'I've changed my mind.' I couldn't bear to think of Charlie being lost, erased. I thought that maybe one day someone working on the landfill site might find my phone, might even fire it up and track me down.

Magic sometimes happens, after all.

As we lay in bed later that night, I made a wish. I made three wishes, actually. I wished a university in the UK would offer Pat a job he didn't feel he could refuse. I wished his wife and children would also come to live in the UK with Lexie's bloke. Then if Pat and Lexie should decide to try again, if they renewed their vows, if they divorced, whatever I might still get to see him now and then.

So much for unrealistic expectations.

I wished he'd stay another week or two, which would not be unrealistic, would it? Or too greedy? Yes, it would.

'I'll come back,' he promised, as I sniffed and rubbed my eyes. 'Rosie, darling, please don't break your heart? I'm not worth it, surely?'

'You're worth everything to me!'

But I knew he had to go and, two days after he had found my phone, he flew back home to Minnesota.

July.

PATRICK.

My work at London University was done. My flight was booked and, two days after Rosie lost her phone, I flew back to Minneapolis, where I was congratulated by the dean and told I'd been a great amba.s.sador for JQA.

So I did one thing right.

While I was on the plane, I thought about that video on Rosie's phone. She'd told me to erase the card, then said not to erase it. I wouldn't have erased it anyway, even if she'd said to wipe it, just in case she'd changed her mind again. I didn't want to break her heart.

I was sure there had to be a way to get that video back. So all I had to do was find the way. When I was home again, I scrolled through all my contacts, looking for the numbers of people who might help me, and finally I found the very one.

I called a friend who had connections with the CIA.

'Yeah, it might be possible,' he told me, after I explained. 'I might know a guy who knows a guy. But a private contract it would cost a bunch of money. We're talking big bucks here.'

'What, thousands, millions?'

'It would be ten thousand dollars minimum, and in cash.'

'If you let me have some contact details, I'll go on from there.'

'No, I'll meet you for a beer some time. I don't want to put this stuff in emails or tell you on the phone. You never know who's listening.'

'Maybe we could meet later today?'

'Yeah, I guess,' he said. 'It's been a while. So tell me you mislaid the secret of eternal life?'

'I want this data found.'

'Okay, okay, but listen up before you give your money to this guy, you need to know that he won't offer any guarantees. Also, if he manages to track your data down, he could take his time to hand it over might be months or even years. The fact is, he might never hand it over, but don't even start to think you'll get your money back.'

'I'm prepared to take the risk.'

'You're prepared to take a reckless gamble and very likely lose. These spooks play by their own rules, not by yours.'

Lexie and my children were still living with the British t.o.s.s.e.r in his mansion on Grand Avenue. Joe was full of what was going down in its backyard. 'There are a bunch of foxes, Dad,' he told me. 'We got squirrels, too. One time Polly said she saw a snake.'

'What colour was it, green?'

'I guess. Or it could have been magenta? Polly wasn't sure. When I told Mom about the snake, it freaked her out. She said she's going to call the pest exterminator guy. She wants him to come by and deal with all the vermin.'

Awesome, I decided. Maybe he could deal with Mr Wonderful as well?

'Dad, she's going to have the foxes killed!'

'You don't need to worry, Joseph. Foxes are real smart and so are squirrels. When the pest exterminator's truck shows up, they won't stick around to be exterminated.'

'What about the snake?'

'The snake will slither off into the gra.s.s.'

'You're sure?'

'I know it.'

'Did you ever get to hear from Rosie, Dad?'

'She emailed me this morning, asked after you and Polly and sends you lots of love.'

'When will we see Rosie?'

'I don't know, little buddy. Rosie lives in Britain and we live in America, four thousand miles apart.'

'When we are on vacation, perhaps we could go visit Britain again?'

'Yeah, perhaps we could.' I changed the subject. It can't be good for little boys to see their fathers cry.

A few days after I came home, Lexie called to ask if we could meet.

Angie would be happy to watch the kids, she said.

I guessed she must want money more of it. Or even a divorce? Maybe Mr Wonderful had been down on one knee, made her an offer that she could not refuse?

'Perhaps, if it's about our situation, you should speak with your attorney?' I suggested. 'Then I'll speak with mine.'

'This is purely personal,' she said. 'So we don't need to go through our attorneys.'

'Do you want to come by the apartment?'

'No, we'll meet on neutral territory,' she replied.

So I named a coffee shop in downtown Minneapolis.

'Yeah, sounds good,' she said.

'Okay, I'll see you Tuesday after work.'

Lexie had her hen's b.u.t.t face on.

'What about this Rosie?' she demanded, making Rosie's name sound like a swear word. 'Joseph talks about her all the time. It's all Rosie's hair and Rosie's clothes and Rosie's cool apartment and Rosie's Yorkshire puddings. I'm sick and tired of Rosie, Daddy's British friend.'

'But you have a British friend, Alexis. Why can't I have one, too?'

'I don't get Stephen to turn your kids against you.'

'Rosie hasn't turned your kids against you.'

'Why is Joe fixated on this woman?'

'Joe is not fixated, Lexie. They just like each other, get along. Rosie never met you, and while Joe and Polly were around she never mentioned you fact is, she never mentioned you at all.'

'I guess she knew she didn't need to mention me if she already had you by the b.a.l.l.s.' Lexie worried at a fingernail. 'I thought you wanted to make up with me?'

'I never told you so.'