"Yeah, I did, thank fuck. And I love her. But she's not you."

Aidan had said he loved him. What did this mean?

Zack loved them both. Even seven years later, he loved them. But loving people only got you kicked in the teeth. Caring only got you hurt. He'd learned that all his life.

"Maddie loves you too, Zack," Aidan continued. "She always has. Somehow, you're the missing part of us. We need you."

Zack's heartbeat exploded into a galloping cadence. His hands shook and he set them on his knees. "What are you saying?"

"For fuck's sake! Do I have to spell it out?"

"Ah...yeah." All the little pieces were adding up, but he was fucking terrified that he was adding wrong.

And then Aidan was on his knees in front of him, grabbing his hands. "I know we have no right to ask you not to leave. It's your career. It's important to you. It's important to the world, what you do. But don't leave like this. We love you."

Zack stared at his friend. The man he loved. He took in the earnest expression, the sincerity...the love shining in his eyes. Wow. He had to admire the way Aidan put himself out there-especially since he himself was too chickenshit to do it. Aidan, who thought Zack had been brave and strong enough to survive captivity, had no idea how this was even more terrifying. He swallowed, sucked in a deep breath as if pulling courage from it. "Love you too," he finally said gruffly. "Both of you. Christ." His nose started to sting. Goddammit. He wasn't going to make this worse by crying. He hadn't cried since the day he'd been abused by that dickweasel drug dealer.

"Thank fuck." Aidan's hands gripped his even tighter.

This man, on his knees in front of him. Aidan, in his power suit, all polished and professional, was on his knees telling him he loved him. "Get up," Zack said gruffly. "Not that I don't like you on your knees, but this isn't the time."

Aidan's lips lifted. "I don't know." He glanced meaningfully at Zack's crotch. The air around them changed, going hot and electric. "But fine." He bent one leg and planted a foot into the carpet to stand. "So. Maddie and I want you to stay."

Zack wanted that. He wanted that more than anything in the world. And that fucking terrified him. To want something that much was only a set up for a huge disappointment.

To go home with Aidan...home to Maddie...the longing for it swelled up inside him so huge he felt like his skin might burst.

"We know we can't ask you to give up your career. But would you at least come and tell Maddie how you feel about her? Could we talk about a way to make this work?"

Zack had been thinking about his career a lot since he'd left them last night. He'd only slept a few hours in this quiet, elegant hotel room, his mind overrun with crazy recurring dreams, him chasing something, he didn't even know what, reaching for it but never able to grasp it. He'd woken numerous times, frustrated, heart pounding, sweaty. Lonely.

It wasn't the same as the nightmares he'd had after he'd escaped. The fear he felt crawling inside him wasn't the same either. Before, he'd been afraid of dying. Now...he was afraid of living. He wasn't afraid to go to dangerous places and put his life on the line to take pictures and tell the world about the horrible things that were going on. He was afraid of being alone.

The last seven years, he'd worked long and hard, traveling the world. He loved his job. It was his career, his passion, what he'd always wanted to do. But now he could see his main goal had been to distract himself from his loneliness. And the idea of getting back out there held so little appeal, he'd been shocked.

He'd been turning over ideas in his head. The book proposal. The offer of a post in Chicago, starting with covering the G7 Summit. Professor Bridges' suggestion about teaching some classes at Northwestern.

He focused on Aidan who now sat on the edge of the bed watching him intently. A hot softness spread through his chest. Could this be for real?

"I don't know," he finally said, and the brightness in Aidan's eyes dimmed. "I mean, I want to. I want that so fucking much. You have no idea."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I just can't believe...this could be real. That the three of us can really love each other. Isn't that all kinds of fucked up?"

Aidan's lips twitched. "Yeah. Maybe so. But does it matter? If it's what makes us all happy, who cares?"

Zack stared in wonderment. Nerves still tingled. His stomach still felt knotted. "I need to see Maddie. I need to hear it from her too."

"Then come back with me." Aidan rose and moved to him, grabbing his hands and pulling him up out of the chair.

Face to face, their eyes met, mouths almost touching. He felt Aidan's body heat and his quickened breathing. He let out a slow breath. "Okay."

He sensed the relief that loosened Aidan's muscles. Aidan's eyes closed briefly. "Good." He leaned his forehead against Zack's. "Good."

Aidan moved off the other side of the bed and found his cell phone. He started tapping the screen.

"What are you doing?"

"Seeing what flight we can get on back to Chicago."

Despite their impatience, there were no seats on a flight to Chicago until morning. "Well, shit," Aidan said a while later. "Guess we're stuck here tonight. I'll have to let Maddie know what's going on." He picked up his phone. "Also I'm starving. Think we can find a steak in this dump?"

Zack laughed. "Yeah, probably."

"Hey, sweetheart." Aidan spoke into the phone. "How's it going?" He paused. "Yeah. Ah...I'm in Washington." He grimaced. "I'm with Zack...Yeah. Don't worry, sweetheart, it's all good." He closed his eyes and pulled in a breath through his nose.

This didn't appear to be going well.

"Yeah, sweetie. Look, everything's fine, except we can't get a flight home until tomorrow...I'm sorry. We'll be back first thing in the morning. Both of us."

Aidan lowered the phone and stared at it. "Well, shit."

"What?" Zack frowned.

"I think she's pissed. For Chrissakes, I was just trying to fix things."

"Maybe you should've told her what you were doing."

"Yeah." Aidan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I guess so. I was just trying to protect her in case things didn't go well. I thought she'd be happy."

"She's there alone and we're here, together. Can kinda see why she's not happy."

"Fuck. I'll call her back." He tried but she didn't pick up. "Now I'm pissed," he growled.

"Let me try." Zack jumped off the bed and found his own phone, but she didn't answer his call either. Zack looked at Aidan, his hands curled into fists.

"Guess there's nothing we can do until we get back there."

"Yeah." Zack sighed too. "Come on. I'll buy you a steak."

"I just need to send a couple of business emails." Aidan groaned as he looked at his calendar. "Not good letting Julie know so late-she won't get this until morning when she gets to the office. She's gonna be pissed." Zack listened to him apologize profusely to his assistant and ask her to look after a couple of other things, saying he'd be there by noon for sure.

They didn't venture outside the hotel, heading into the restaurant on the premises where they found a wide selection of steak choices. They both ordered a Porterhouse, Zack a baked potato, Aidan mashed. They sipped bourbon while they waited for their food and Zack told Aidan about his meeting that day with some of the Reporters Without Borders folks.

Back in the room later, Aidan said, "I came with nothing. You gonna let me borrow your toothbrush?"

"I guess so. You had your tongue down my throat earlier, I guess we've shared any germs we have."

"I need antiperspirant too."

"Jesus. Want my shaver?"

Aidan rubbed his jaw. "I can go without shaving."

They faced each other in the small quiet room. Aidan moved closer and dipped his head to kiss him. Their mouths fused, hot and deep, tongues sliding against each other. Need rose in Zack, heat and longing and desire. He moved back, pulled his hands free of Aidan's and reached for the silk tie Aidan wore, twisting it around his hand. Aidan's pupils exploded and his lips parted. "This is how it is between us, right?" Zack murmured. "This is what you need."

"What you need too." Aidan lifted his chin.

"True enough."

"You knew from the start." Aidan's gaze dropped to Zack's mouth and lust kicked him in the balls. "How'd you know?"

Zack shrugged. He nipped Aidan's bottom lip. "Instinct. Experience. Some of the things Maddie said."

His hand went to Aidan's erection and rubbed him through his wool suit pants. Aidan groaned.

"I didn't know for sure until I started giving you orders." Zack brushed his mouth over Aidan's and gave a squeeze. Aidan twitched. "And you obeyed so beautifully. It made me so fucking hard."

"Fuck, me too." Aidan started to lift his hands then let them fall to his sides. "Tell me." He met Zack's eyes. "Tell me what to do."

Zack smiled. He tugged the knot of the tie until it was loose enough to come off over Aidan's head. "Take your clothes off."

He watched as Aidan did so, revealing that beautiful hard body as each piece of clothing came off. Aidan tossed his jacket onto a chair, unbuttoned his shirt slowly, eyes fixed on Zack's. Zack's dick was on fire, but he didn't touch himself, just let the strip of silk he held slide through his hands, over and over. Aidan's gaze flicked to the tie, then back up, and color washed into his face.

Aidan tugged the shirt out of his pants and finished unbuttoning it then shrugged it off. He tossed it to the chair as well. His fingers worked the buckle of his belt open, lowered his fly and he stepped out of the pants, one long leg at a time, leaving him in a pair of light-blue boxers. They sat on low on lean hip bones. Zack's gaze tracked over the defined pecs, abs and obliques, the trail of dark hair from chest to belly and then lower into the boxers.

He gave in to the impulse to touch, stepping forward to rub Aidan's chest, then trail his fingers down over the ridges of muscle. One fingertip traced the arrow of dark hair. Aidan's cock was enormous behind the thin cotton, the head poking up out of the elastic. Zack let his fingertip brush over it too and Aidan sucked in a breath.

"Gorgeous," Zack murmured. "Your body is incredible. You make me so fucking hot, just looking at you. Turn around."

Aidan turned. Zack stroked his back, enjoying the small muscles, the firm ridge on either side of his spine, the dimples at the base. He palmed Aidan's ass through his shorts, one hand on each cheek, smiling as Aidan flexed and the big muscles became rock.

He kissed the back of Aidan's neck. With his hair cut short there, the nape of his neck had a boyish softness to it. Zack opened his mouth on it and sank his teeth into the skin, so slowly, so gently. Aidan hissed.

Zack soothed the spot with his tongue. "Don't worry," he murmured in Aidan's ear. "I won't mark you there. If I leave marks, it will be where no one can see them." Zack trembled. "Except Maddie. She'll see them. She'll know what we were doing."

"Marks," Aidan mumbled. "Not into pain...I mean, not like Maddie."

"Maybe you just need to experience it."

Aidan's body trembled.

"Trust me?"

"Yes." No hesitation.

"Good man." He pulled Aidan's arms behind his back and wrapped the silk tie around the wrists.

"Jesus."

Still he took his time, kissing and licking Aidan's shoulders, dragging his tongue down the groove of his spine. Standing behind him, he slid his arms around him to hug him from behind, caressing his chest, pausing at his nipples. He gave them each a sharp pinch that made Aidan's body jerk hard. Zack kissed his shoulder again. "Like that?" He tweaked them again, then rubbed over Aidan's chest and abs and down into his shorts.

He curled his hand around Aidan's cock and Aidan groaned.

"Yeah," Zack whispered. "Your cock is gorgeous too. Love sucking on it...making you come in my mouth."

Aidan trembled and moaned again. "I liked it too," he admitted. "A lot."

Zack moved around him so they were face to face, and kissed him, long, hard, wet. Then he bent and found a nipple with his lips, sucking on it. The firm little nub fit perfectly to his tongue. Excitement pounded through him, pumping hot in his veins. The noises coming from Aidan's throat told him how much he liked that, so he played there for a while, sucking on each nipple until Aidan was a shaking so hard Zack was afraid he was going down.

"Okay," Zack said roughly. "On the bed, face down."

Chapter Twenty-Four.

Aidan stumbled to the bed, hands tied behind his back, and fell face down. He pressed his hot cheek against the cool white cotton duvet cover, eyes squeezed closed. His dick was a throbbing spike and his balls ached. Christ, who knew there was a straight line from his nipples to his dick? He'd damn near lost it while Zack sucked on him like that. Now he was a trembling mass of lust and need.

He heard rustles as Zack undressed. The bed moved as Zack climbed on with him. Zack rubbed his ass through his boxers again, then tugged them down over his hips. Now bare, Zack's palm caressed him again and Aidan's body jolted when Zack's long middle finger slipped into the crevice between his ass cheeks.

There. There was where he wanted to be touched. To be fucked. Oh god. Longing for it blazed through him.

Zack wasn't gentle. Aidan didn't want gentle. Despite his protests about not being into pain, he relished every firm stroke, every hard grip. So different from a woman's touch. He loved Maddie and loved her touch, but this...it wasn't better, it was just different. Zack gave his balls a firm tug and squeeze, roughly stroked his cock, coarsely parted his ass cheeks. A moan climbed up Aidan's throat. He felt liquid warmth and realized Aidan had drizzled saliva onto his anus. His thumb circled wetly there, then penetrated.

Aidan jolted. With Zack pinning his thighs to the bed and his hands fastened, he was helpless. A thrill raced through him. Fuck, fuck, he loved this. He let himself go, sink into it, let his head empty of thoughts. His mind had been busy since Zack had left, thoughts furious and fast, circling and tumbling and worrying. But now...it was quiet. He turned himself over to Zack's touch, Zack's thumb sliding in and out, his other hand squeezing his tortured balls.

Zack leaned over him. "Gonna fuck your ass."

"Yeah. Please."

"Gonna make you come. So hard."

Aidan groaned. Zack leaned in and took a rough kiss, pushing Aidan's head around to meet his mouth.

Aidan moved and Zack heard him open a condom package. "Please have lube," he muttered. "Please."

Zack gave a low laugh. "Yeah, man, I got lube, no worries. Your tender little ass will be safe. Sort of." He gave Aidan a smack on one cheek, a sweet sting.

Zack's slicked up fingers slid through his flesh, teasing then probing deep. Aidan's heart beat so hard he felt it in his throat, heard it in his ears. Fire burned beneath his skin. He sank his teeth into his bottom lip in anticipation of Zack's cock entering him. Fuck, that had burned last time, but with a heady, lovely fire, and his cock stroking over his gland had nearly blown the top of his head off. He wanted that again. Now.

But Zack had other plans, delaying that moment. He felt Zack's fingers roughly freeing his wrists. "This tie might be ruined." Zack paused.

"Who cares," Aidan mumbled. "Fuck it."