"No. I need a new case for my phone."

Maddie grinned. "I can see you two doing some damage there."

"Not as much as you at Nordstrom."

"Oh, I don't know. Well, okay. I could do some damage there. Maybe."

"You're probably jealous now, 'cause we're going to the Apple Store."

She knew Aidan was teasing. He knew her too well. "Jealous! Ha! I get queasy walking into that store. I'm totally intimidated because I don't know anything about that stuff. I'd much rather go to Nordstrom."

"I need some new underwear," Aidan said.

She planted her hands on her hips. "Then you can go to Nordstrom after the Apple Store."

He grimaced. "Yeah, maybe I'm okay for now."

She smiled and shook her head. Feeling lighter and surprisingly merry, she walked over to kiss Aidan's cheek, then did the same to Zack. They both looked at her with their mouths hanging open as she continued through the den and down the hall to the bedroom.

Whoa. Who was this woman? Living with two men. Having sex with two men. And how did she arrive in this bizarre world?

Well, Zack wasn't living with them. He was staying with them temporarily. And leaving-once he was healthy and fit to return to his bad-ass dangerous job taking pictures of people killing each other on the others side of the world. Which was supposedly in...two weeks.

Her jaunty mood disappeared and she gripped the marble counter in the bathroom. He couldn't leave. He couldn't do that to them again.

She rubbed a hand over her mouth. Get a grip. This was all weird and wonderful, but it was only temporary.

Tonight. He had plans for tonight. She was going to be tied in knots-haha, maybe that was what he had planned!-all day thinking about what he was going to do to them.

Them. Zack wasn't just taking charge of her. He was taking charge of them. She and Aidan both.

How was she supposed to pretend to her friends that nothing had changed?

________.

Aidan and Zack walked into the Apple store, big, bright and airy.

"Fucking awesome." Zack gazed around. They were immediately approached by a young man who inquired what they were looking for. "Lots of stuff," Zack answered. "First, a laptop."

"Great. Trevor will be able to help you with that."

Aidan grinned as they followed the young man toward another guy. They were quickly linked up with another sales associate and led to the laptops. On the way, Aidan got distracted by some accessories. Yeah. He wanted that magic mouse. Then he joined Zack as he studied a couple of computers.

"MacBook Pro," Aidan said. "That's what you need?"

"Yeah." Zack squinted. "My old one was a seventeen inch. Now I have to downsize to a fifteen inch."

"Is that bad?"

Zack shrugged. "It'll work. The retina display is pretty fierce."

The sales dude rattled off a bunch of specs about the different models, gigahertz and quad-core, turbo boost, flash storage and graphics. He asked Zack some questions about what he used the computer for, which Zack answered, sounding impressively knowledgeable.

"I dunno," Zack said moments later. "Speed's the only difference between these two. Six hundred bucks."

"Technology changes so fast. In six months there'll be something faster."

"True. But I don't want to buy a computer every six months. Ah what the hell, this two point three is good."

They looked at the mouse Aidan wanted and both bought one, then they drooled over a cool pen and touch tablet, then a smart pen that wowed them both into buying one. Just before they left, Aidan remember he actually needed a phone case. He found one he liked and they paid. Neither of them winced at the credit card charges and Aiden once again wondered about Zack's financial situation. It seemed he was okay for money.

Why was he concerned about that? Zack had said he earned good money and hadn't spent much over the years he'd been traveling. Aidan guessed it was because Zack had shown up with so little, having lost a lot of his belongings. And apparently he'd never had that much to start with.

As they walked out of the store a couple of hours after they'd entered, Aidan reflected on the excesses he and Maddie had joked about earlier. Yeah, she had a truck-load of shoes and a huge closet full of clothes. He had more tech toys than he knew what to do with. They'd been successful and they bought what they wanted. And then Zack strolled back into their lives, having lost nearly everything he had and that apparently wasn't much.

Kind of made him stop and think.

It made him also feel...something for Zack. The guy had no home base, no roots. No place that he went back to on his down time to relax, nowhere that he'd furnished or decorated or spent time cleaning and repairing. Not that Aidan had been much into decorating. Maddie'd done most of that. She'd been all into it, picking out furniture and fabrics and paint colors.

Aidan felt a pinch of...what? It wasn't that he felt sorry for Zack. He just felt a need to keep Zack with them. To show him what it was like to have a home. Family. They were sort of family.

"You know," he said as they emerged onto Michigan Avenue, "you can come back and stay with us any time you want."

Zack's head jerked around and his narrow-eyed gaze focused on him. "You want me to leave?"

Aidan's gut seized. "No! That's not what I meant. Fuck." He shook his head. "Let's go get a beer."

Zack grimaced. "Not gonna turn down a beer."

"I think there's a place across Michigan on Huron. Come on."

Michigan was busy on this summer Saturday afternoon. They waited at lights as heavy traffic passed, then crossed and found the Irish pub Aidan remembered. Inside was dim and cool, with lots of dark wood, brass accents and green leather upholstery on chairs and stools. They found a small table in the window and ordered beers. "And some chicken wings," Zack added. He grinned at Aidan. "Still catching up."

"No problem."

"I'm buying."

Aidan opened his mouth to argue, met Zack's eyes and something in them made him snap his mouth closed. "Sure. Thanks."

The server moved away and Aidan played with the paper coaster on the table. "So. I didn't mean I want you to leave, when I said that."

"Okay."

"I meant, I want you to..." Fuck he didn't know what the hell he was saying. "I want you to think of our place as home."

Zack blinked at him, his face expressionless.

"You know...a home base. Somewhere you can come back to." He paused. "You are going to go back to your job, right? Traveling?"

"Yeah. I guess. I have to go see a doctor and get a medical clearance before they'll let me start back."

"You feeling okay? Is that going to be a problem?"

"I feel great. It won't be a problem. I had a couple of broken ribs, they're still tender, but everything else is fine. They wanted me to see a shrink." He shrugged, eyes on the table. "But I didn't think I needed to."

"Why'd they want that? Were you having problems?"

"I had some symptoms of PTSD after. They gave me some pills to help me sleep, and taught me some relaxation techniques. I was having nightmares at first, but since I've been back, things have been mostly good."

"It was bad?" Aidan asked quietly.

Zack swallowed.

The server appeared with their beers, setting them on the coasters. "Your wings will be up in a few minutes," she said with perky cheer.

They both gave her absent smiles and nods.

"It was bad," Zack agreed.

"Tell me."

Chapter Fourteen.

Zack's stomach clenched and he curled his fingers around the cold glass of Guinness. He hadn't talked about it all since he'd been back.

"Tell me," Aidan said again in a low voice. "I've trusted you. Now trust me, that I can handle it."

This was so true. Aidan and Maddie had both given him that amazing gift of their trust. And the words came pouring out. "We were in a convoy bringing supplies to al-Qusair. We'd driven all night through the mountains with no lights on, so as not to attract attention from the regime. But when we got there, the city was nearly destroyed. Forces had been bombing it from the air. So we decided to turn around and go back to Damascus. Just as we were leaving the city we were stopped by a truck full of masked men. They made us get out and walk to a nearby house." He paused. "They beat us up."

"Who were you with?"

"It was just me and Simon. Simon Hickham, he's the chief foreign correspondent from the BBC."

"Right." Aidan nodded. "Heard that on the news."

"They told us they were police, but it didn't take long to figure out they were rebel forces. Fervent Islamists. They prayed five times a day and talked about jihad. When we got bombed, we knew for sure they were rebels."

"Bombed." Aidan's eyes went somber.

"Yeah. Good times." Zack lifted one corner of his mouth, then took a sip of beer. "We survived, obviously. After that we had to move to another house on the outskirts of town. Then that area was bombed and we moved again."

"Christ."

"They kept us like animals, sleeping on dirty straw mattresses, locked up in this tiny room with windows that didn't open. It was so fucking hot. They gave us their leftovers to eat. That didn't bother me so much; after a while I just lost my appetite. I tried to move as much as I could, doing isometrics so I wouldn't completely lose muscle tone. Simon and I talked about everything we could think of. Our favorite movies, favorite books, favorite restaurants, favorite cities...which famous person we'd most like to meet. We talked about how war changes you and how we could be better people when we got out. Never if we got out. We were always positive, even though I had my doubts on the inside.

"The worst thing was the humiliation. The lack of freedom. Having to ask to go take a piss. Asking for everything. And they'd say no. They liked seeing us beg."

He swallowed, memories coming back. He'd shut them off but they were still there, dark and terrifying. But sitting here with Aidan in this cheerful pub, the sun shining outside and Aidan watching him with concerned empathy, gave him the strength to keep talking. To get it all out. "One night Simon and I tried to escape. Our guard had fallen asleep and we got out of the house. We only got about five hundred feet when we were caught. They tied our hands behind our backs and locked us in a shed. We were valuable to them as merchandise, which was all that kept us alive. They'd beat us and kick us, but they couldn't kill us."

Aidan just nodded, the corners of his mouth turned down, eyebrows pulled together, listening intently.

"Twice they made it seem like they were going to kill me. Put me up against a wall and held a loaded pistol to my head. I stood there just...terrified. Fucking terrified. Ashamed of being so afraid to die. Angry. And so fucking helpless, this asshole standing there with a gun to my head, enjoying that I was so terrified. When we cried, everyone laughed at us because we were so weak." He swallowed. His voice had gone scratchy. He took another sip of beer, finishing the glass.

The pretty blonde server appeared with their wings, two small plates and a pile of paper napkins. "Another Guinness?"

Zack nodded. "Yeah. Please."

"Sure." When she moved away, Aidan said, "I don't even know what to say, Zack."

"I know." He nodded at his friend. "You don't have to say a thing." He smiled. "They tortured us by telling us we'd be free in a few days. It didn't happen. They'd laugh at us when we got all hopeful, then they'd add 'Inshallah.'" He paused. "That means 'God willing.'"

"Assholes."

"Oh yeah. They were lying, but it was how they made it seem like they weren't. 'God willing,'" he added bitterly. He drew in a long breath and exhaled heavily. "I thought about a lot of things during that time. About what I was doing and whether it was worth it. I don't have any family like Simon, who was going insane thinking about how worried his wife and kids and his parents and two sisters were. I didn't have anyone who gave a shit."

"Yeah," Aidan said quietly. "You did."

Zack looked down. "I know that now," he admitted. "I thought about you and Maddie, but I had no idea what you two were doing." Once again, shame scraped at him. "I thought about how Syria had become so evil, how evil was triumphing over everything else. I thought about the greed and the hatred and the fanaticism. How they showed no mercy, standing next to us who'd been beaten and tied up and starved, praying to their own god...about what?" He shook his head. "Then one night we escaped again. Every step we took, I was sure they were coming after us, or I was going to take a bullet in my back. We ran into the dark, not even sure where we were going. Luckily, we made it across the border into Lebanon. And got help."

"Christ," Aidan said again. "I can't even imagine what it was like for you." He rubbed his mouth. Zack knew Aidan was struggling for control. The fact that he gave a shit made Zack's throat thicken and his chest ache. "All I can say is, I admire your strength. Mental strength, I mean, to endure that and survive."

"Didn't feel strong." He grimaced.

"You had to be." Aidan met his eyes. "You are."

He'd survived, but he didn't attribute it to anything heroic he'd done. More, he'd been allowed to live. Sometimes he'd wondered why. "Okay. Let's eat these wings."

He was done. He'd talked about it. And fuck him if it didn't make him feel better. He knew Aidan hadn't liked hearing it, but had willingly taken on the burden of those words, reliving that with him. That was a true friend.

Emotion rose up inside Zack, not dark and scary but bright and hopeful and...just as terrifying. He'd missed Aidan all these years. He'd tried to hate him for loving Maddie, avoided seeing them all that time. But he couldn't hate him. Fuck. He blinked and looked down at the table again, a chicken wing in his fingers. He didn't want to feel this shit. He was getting involved with them, with them both, something he'd dreamed of with ridiculous improbability. He couldn't let what was happening between them now affect him.

They were a couple and he was the third, the odd man out. He was giving their relationship some kind of kinky rejuvenation. Then he'd leave and go back to war torn countries to take pictures and they would still be together. He'd given up on being a part of that love, or any love, a long time ago. How could someone who loved two people, two people of different sexes, ever find a lasting, normal, loving relationship?

They changed the subject and talked about less intense topics like how the Cubs were playing and their next game at Wrigley Field. "Wanna go?" Aidan asked him, wiping hot sauce off his fingers with a napkin. "I think there's a game every night this week. Or Saturday afternoon."

"That'd be great." He'd never been big into watching sports, but doing something so simple and all-American as watching a baseball game appealed to him.

"Oh, next Saturday we have some big fundraiser to go to. Something Maddie's involved in. So maybe we should go to the Thursday night game."

"Fine by me."

When they were ready to leave, Aidan pulled his phone out. "Let me text Maddie and see where she's at and what we're doing for dinner." He tapped in a message and waited for the reply while Zack handed over a credit card to pay the bill.