Alanna was caught in a whirlpool of emotion, anger and hurt and sorrow swirling round and round each other. In the end she could only sigh. "I am, too."

"I'm hoping to get back by tomorrow afternoon. Will I see you then?" Again he was cautious.

"I can't, Alex. I have tickets for the afternoon show at the Players' Theater."

"You're going alone?" She could almost see his angry glare.

"No. I'm going with two friends-"

"Male friends?" Male sounded positively evil.

"Alex! Did I ask you how many of the board members you're seeing are women?" She took a breath to steady her suddenly shaky pulse. "It happens that we've had these tickets for two months. And I'm going to the matinee, not the midnight show."

"Then I'll take you to dinner afterward," he offered, temporarily pacified.

"We're already going to dinner afterward," she explained patiently. "These are good friends, but I don't get to see them as often as I'd like."

"Are they business contacts?"

"Actually, no. I met them several years ago through a literature course I took at the university. Diana is a high school teacher; Maxine has a doctor-husband and two young children at home."

There was no audible sigh of relief; the lightening of Alex's tone alerted Alanna of just how worried he had been. "That sounds nice. Where will you be eating?"

Alanna's suspicions were sparked by the pointedness of the question. "I ... don't ... know...." She drew out the words, each pause relaying the idea that she had no intention of spilling that information as well.

"OK, love." He sounded cheerful enough, satisfied with winning one out of two. "I've got to run. Will you miss me tonight?"

"I may just lie awake all night and pine for you." Her answering drawl buried truth deep within its good humor.

Alex saw it quickly. "It should be interesting, you know."

"What?"

"Seeing what kind of a night's sleep we have. This will be the first time we've slept apart in-"

"I know, Alex. I know." His words stirred images she felt were best left alone at the moment. "Just remember not to drink liquor or coffee." Her tone playfully mocked Ellen Henderson's directives. "Don't go to bed until you're tired. Don't lie in bed for more than ten minutes without-"

"All right, Alanna! That's enough! You sound like a mother hen! Just remember that those instructions apply to you, too! I'll talk with you tomorrow night, then?"

"That sounds fine." She hesitated, reluctant to say good-bye. "Good luck with your meetings." Humor always helped. "I know you'll charm the skirts off them!" She wasn't prepared for Alex's vehement objection.

"They're all men, Alanna! And not one is as interesting a person as you, for all their supposed brilliance," he growled. "I wish that you were down here with me. It's the kind of business trip that would be a second-or third or fourth-honeymoon if you were here."

"Alex..." Her warning was well taken and he relaxed.

"All right. No pressure." But he couldn't help a barb. "You can tell yourself that, tonight. Sleep well, love."

"You too, Alex."

It seemed a foregone conclusion that sleep would be uneven that night. And, indeed, it was. Alanna spent the evening sorting out the chaos of emotions that Alex's call had brought to the surface. She felt angry that he hadn't made a point of returning to keep their date, then scolded herself for her presumption. She had no right to demand anything from him, did she? But she was hurt-hurt that he had not demanded himself that his meetings be wound up to allow for his evening return. And, yes, she felt above all disappointed that she wouldn't see him until tomorrow, or perhaps the day after.

All in all, it did not bode well for sleep. How did one keep tension from the bedroom when one's body and senses and memory were filled to overflowing with frustration and unfulfilled desire? She lay in bed for ten minutes, trying to clear her mind, then jumped up in defeat. Twenty minutes later, she tried again; again, failure was immediate. When finally she did fall asleep it was well past midnight. She was not surprised, moreover, to find herself awake again at three.

Sitting in the living room with a glass of warm milk, she perversely hoped that Alex was having as much trouble as she was. Her mind's eye painted a picture of him in bed, the sheets thrown across his lean lines, the white linens a strong contrast to the dark sheen of his skin with the soft fur mat that had cushioned her blond tresses so deliciously. Her skin had begun to warm before she doggedly ousted the image.

Breathe deeply. Think of nothing. It was very hard work, this thinking of nothing! At length she returned to bed and, finally, to sleep. The morning, however, found her back to her rise-and-frown crankiness. Following Ellen's suggestion she did go for a swim at the pool. Then came a morning of leisure, reading the newspaper, sipping coffee, lounging in her warm fleece robe as she never had time to do on a work day. It was potentially a pleasant few hours. Why, then, did it drag?

The question was easily answered, though the answer was far from being to Alanna's satisfaction. It was Alex. Alex. Love. Marriage. Children. Forever ...

Had Alex been right? What would her mother have said had she been able to see her only daughter now? Would she remind her daughter of the love and family that Alanna had sacrificed on the altar of corporate success? What would happen if she did agree to marry Alex? Would she be able to have it all-him, her career and a family? He had planted the seeds of doubt in her mind-a doubt that encompassed those ideas around which she had shaped her comings and goings for over ten years. Could she change her way of thinking?

In the end it came down to one basic factor. Love. Did she love Alex? If what she felt for him was love, change was worth considering. Though she believed firmly that love alone was not enough, without it there was no hope at all for a relationship with Alex. He was so sure, so very sure!

She spent the afternoon with her friends at the theater before moving on to a restaurant later. It was a welcome diversion from her deeply perplexing thoughts. As always she enjoyed their company, sharing the latest news with them, discussing broader issues as they came up. As she walked up to her apartment building shortly before eight she felt remarkably relaxed considering her lack of sleep the night before. But relaxation faded as her thoughts turned in anticipation to Alex's call.

As it happened she didn't have to wait for a call, for standing on her doorstep waiting for her was Alex himself.

8.

Without even a "hello" or a "how are you" he moved toward her and a large and powerful pair of arms opened to swallow her up. Alanna melted into them. Though the air was chill it barely touched the warmth within and between them. For Alanna there was a sense of peace and contentment that had been missing in his absence. She felt as though she was, at last, home.

Alex's tan jacket was soft against her cheek, his hands insistently strong through her own dark wool coat. Their embrace seemed endlessly divine, until the intrusion of several of Alanna's fellow tenants broke the spell. Without a word Alex took her hand and led her inside the building to her apartment, silently taking the keys from her, unlocking the door and guiding her gently in. It was only when the door was firmly shut that he took her in his arms again.

There was a hunger in his kiss that was undeniable and matched with equal strength by Alanna. Her pulse raced through veins fast-warming with desire, the same desire that was reflected with such urgency in Alex's smoldering charcoal eyes when he finally pulled back to look at her. His gaze spoke the greeting; hers returned it. Then another message shot between them and Alanna realized just how much she had missed him. The deep and wondrous craving sprang from her core, propelling her toward him magnetically. There would be time for talk later. Now the need was for a more primal form of communication.

Gazes interlocked, they slipped their coats off and tossed them onto the living room couch. Her hand disappeared into his as he led her to her bedroom, then reappeared to allow her to undress herself. Heart pounding with growing excitement, she fumbled with buttons and zippers and stockings, all the while following the progress of the tall man before her.

Was it a mere thirty-six hours' absence that made him look this devastatingly handsome? Her shimmering brown-eyed gaze could not see enough of him. She followed as he wrenched off his tie and hastily disposed of his shirt, presenting his sturdy chest for her consideration as he kicked off the rest of his clothes.

By the time they stood revealed to one another her knees quivered helplessly. Without hesitation she went to him, unable to suppress a moan of pleasure when her skin came in contact with his. Her curves fitted against his lines with the perfection that had always been there, as though they had been molded specifically for each other.

Alexis hands sent ripples of ecstasy through Alanna's body. He touched her everywhere, head to toe, as he nudged her back onto the bed and her own fingertips, then lips, followed suit with a need that could not be quelled.

Within instants, Alex made her his and Alanna gloried in his possession. The heat of their passion built quickly to the boiling point, dampening their bodies in arousal until, with a simultaneous cry of ecstasy, they gave themselves over to an exaltation that encompassed both mind and body.

"I missed you," Alanna whispered breathlessly when finally the spasms of joy had subsided to allow for speech. Alex took a bit longer, his chest heaving as he slid off to lie by her side.

"I was hoping for something more far-reaching," he rasped thickly, his eye glittering his humor, "but I'll settle for that in the meanwhile. I missed you, too, Alanna."

On impulse she reached up to comb back the thick hair that had fallen onto his forehead. Her hand remained at the back of his head as she lay on her side to savor the sight of him.

His brief command took her by surprise. "Say it."

"W-what?"

"Your eyes did just now, but I'd like to hear you say it with your voice, so that you can hear it, too."

"What?"

"That you love me."

"I love you." It was soft and whispered, barely stirring the air around them, but Alanna did hear it and was nearly as surprised as Alex, whose dark eyes lit up with an exquisite happiness she could not have described had she tried later to do so.

His arms brought her against him once more as his lips moaned in her ear, "Ahhh. I've wanted to hear that so badly." Then he set her back an inch to study the still-startled expression that masked her features. "And when did you decide this?"

"I don't know." Still a whisper. Still barely audible. Still groping for understanding. "Just now, I guess."

"What finally clinched it? What brought about the great decision?"

She weighed the possibilities with a slow-growing composure. "I guess there had to be some explanation for the fact that we spend more time in bed than out."

One dark brow rose. "Could be pure lust ... seems to me you did suggest that at one point."

"I never used the word 'lust,'" she chided, feeling in an increasingly good humor.

"Physical attraction, then. What about that?"

She shook her head determinedly. "By itself, not enough. I mean, do you realize that probably three-quarters of the time we've spent together has been in bed?"

"Chance circumstance, love," he offered, playing the devil's advocate. "After all, we did meet under very unusual conditions."

"Alex, why are you arguing with me this way? Aren't you pleased that your own argument finally got through to me? After all, you're the one who kept saying I wasn't a loose woman. Yet look at me. I've been totally wanton."

"You're in love." He grinned, satisfied. "Your body simply saw the truth before your mind was able to accept it. It's been love we've made all along."

Her sigh was exaggerated. "That's what I've been trying to tell you."

"Say it again," he ordered softly.

"I love you," she murmured against his chest, punctuating the vow with a kiss on his passion-damp skin. But a strong finger curved beneath her chin and angled her face up.

"Now, look me in the eye and say it."

His word was her command, in this instance, at least. "I love you."

"'I love you' ... who?" He could have been speaking to a child.

"I love you, Alexander Knight." She indulgently played the game.

"Again!"

"I love you, Alex. I do."

"Ahhh, love. Why didn't you tell me sooner?" His accusation was soft, to be met by Alanna's incredulous rejoinder.

"I didn't know! How could I think to tell you?"

His grin of delight now spread from ear to ear. "It just tumbled out, didn't it-refused to remain inside any longer? There's the proof of its authenticity! It's the real thing! You love me," he sighed in what could only be termed relief.

Alanna was stunned anew by her confession. Struggling to assimilate its implications-for she did accept it as a fact-she buried her face against the warm solace of his neck, breathing in the manly tang that had so tantalized her in memory last night. Sensing her need for a moment's respite, Alex held her close. He felt neither a sense of triumph nor a desire to gloat at her long-awaited admission, simply the pleasure of knowing that his sentiment was finally returned.

A strange shyness rendered her voice tremulous when finally she spoke. "How did those meetings go last night?" she asked, intentionally glossing over her heart-reaching discovery of moments earlier. Alex, however, would not.

"That's a fine question to ask on the heels of such an earth-shattering declaration!" he chided, snugly fitting his long arm around her back, stretching his lean fingers to hold the gentle swell of her breast.

Tilting her blond head back, she met his gaze. "I've surprised myself with all this, Alex. Give me time to take it all in, OK?"

Her beseeching gaze convinced him. "OK, love." He smiled indulgently, feeling infinitely patient as he proceeded to fill her in on the meetings that had kept him from her yesterday. His bid had been successful; everything had worked out to his satisfaction. As soon as he could he shifted the conversation back to her.

Alanna would never know whether he had read that deep-hidden source of tension of which she, herself, was barely aware. But his question immediately brought it out. With Wednesday morning so close on the horizon there was Jake's board meeting to contend with.

"What's up at work this week?" Alex asked. "Any news on whether you'll be offered that opening?"

"Funny you should ask," she murmured against his chest, a noted absence of humor in her tone. "The board is meeting tomorrow morning. Jake plans to make the proposal then."

"It's definite?" His eyes lit up with an enthusiasm she wouldn't have expected. Most men would have been instantly wary of such a move by a woman. Not Alex. Perhaps that was one of the things she loved about him....

Her headshake was half in response to that last thought as well as to Alex's prodding. "Not definite-until they vote. But if Jake proposes it, it's as good as done."

"Congratulations, love! I'm proud of you!" His lips touched her brow with their warmth; she felt as though she had received his blessing. Yet the matter was far from decided.

"Whoa! I'm not sure I'll accept the position even if it is offered to me!"

Alex looked at her as though she had suddenly become possessed by lunacy. "That's ridiculous! Whyever not?"

"Because," she answered firmly, "I can get just as much done from right where I am."

Alex drove to the heart of the matter. "It's the gossip that's discouraging you, isn't it?"

Her first impulse was to deny the allegation; then she admitted its truth to herself. It was the strength of her newfound love, and the faith it gave her, that enabled her to admit it to Alex. "I suppose so." Resting her chin on her hands, which in turn were resting on his chest, she drank in his self-assuredness. "It's not worth the fight."

What had been a softly spoken statement inspired one that was much more forceful. "Not worth it? Alanna, you've spent the past ten years waiting-knowingly or not-for just this type of advancement. You're a fighter. If you have to you'll show them all!" His voice lowered. "Besides, once we're married-"

"I haven't agreed to marry you." Alanna's quiet voice stopped him cold. He looked at her in amazement.

"But you've just admitted that you love me. What more is needed?"

"What's needed," she took a deep breath, "is for me to be able to feel comfortable with the idea of marriage ... and everything it entails."

For a long time Alex was quiet. His eyes studied her closely, then shifted to contemplate each strand of loose blond silk that had fallen free of its bonds in the frenzy of their lovemaking. His hands were still, though, and for the first time Alanna sensed a limit to his patience. His words confirmed as much.

"I can't wait forever, Alanna. You've dangled the carrot before my nose by just being you. Now, by saying you love me, you've brought it that much closer. I'm not made of stone." His tone was sober. "How long do you think you can toy with my emotions?"