aWell, Inspectoraa aHey, if I can call you Alana, canat you call me Toni?a she asked with a grin. aI mean, I risked my life to save your purse and all.a Allie laughed and nodded. aI have a feeling youare going to use that excuse quite a bita Well, good night and thanks for the ride, Toni,a she said and opened her door.

Toni quickly reached across and placed a hand on her forearm. Allie stopped and felt the warmth spread down her arm.

aMaybe Iall see you at the museum.a aToni, Ia"a aWait. Iam just saying for a few laughs and some coffee. Weare both grown women. I like your company as a friend, thatas all. I like you,a she said honestly. aNo flirting, no seduction.a Inwardly, Allie wasnat sure if she was relieved or not. This suddenly weighed on her mind as feelings from long ago drifted through her. aMaybe Iall see you at the museum. I-I go on Tuesdays and Fridaysa Maybe.a She quickly exited the car.

Feeling every bit as she did when she was seventeen and coming home late after a date, she quickly walked up the front walk, knowing Toni watched her.

Chapter 5.

aSo?a Vicky asked as she slipped into the booth.

Allie gave her an indulgent smile. aSoawhat?a aSo did Inspector Gorgeous make a pa.s.s at you?a aVicky! It was over a week ago. Of course not. Geezus, she was a perfectawell, she was very considerate. We talked about the kids. She then dropped me off. Sorry, thereas no story there for you. You and Mike are going to have to find another avenue, kiddo.a Vicky laughed. aYou have to admit sheas gorgeous. Rita is right, though, in a butch kind of way. I mean, she has to work out constantly. Did you notice those thighs? Or those biceps? Whew!a she said, fanning herself.

aYouare insane.a Allie looked at the menu, though she wasnat reading it. aIave got one hour, then back to school. Cla.s.ses start in two weeks. I canat believe the summer is gone, and I have not seen one Cubs game.a She pouted seriously as she examined the menu.

There must have been something in the air. Instinctively, Allie looked up, somehow knowing Toni would be there. And there she was. She had ordered a coffee to go as she stood by the counter of the small deli. She wore a pair of black slacks and shoes, very work-like. She had her white long-sleeved shirt rolled up to reveal her trim forearms. Allie noticed the gold insignia of the Chicago Fire Department on the collar of her starched shirt. She wore a pair of aviator sungla.s.ses, and her gray-streaked dark hair seemed tousled and unruly. Allie laughed quietly for some reason at the impatient posture. Toni did indeed remind her of Jocelyn.

Though Allie did nothing to attract her attention, Toni immediately looked in her direction, noticed her, and smiled. Allie smiled back and waved.

Vicky followed her gaze. as.h.i.t, sheas here.a aWill you stop? My G.o.d, Vicky. Sheas a friend, will you relax?a Allie said in a calm voice. aWhat is it with you and this woman?a aHi, gals.a Toni grinned and snapped her fingers as the coffee spilled over the edge of the cup. Allie laughed and handed her a napkin. aThanks. How are you?a aFine, Inspector,a Vicky said with a sly grin.

Toni raised a wary eyebrow and looked at Allie. aAlana. Howas Claude these days?a aHeas well, Toni. Thank you.a Vicky glanced at her watch. as.h.i.t! I gotta get the kids. Sorry, Alaa she said and kissed her cheek. She stood next to Toni and looked into her eyes. aAhh... See ya, Inspector.a She sighed, then dashed out of the deli.

aMay I?a Toni gestured to the empty booth.

aSure. I see youare in uniform. Busy day?a Allie asked as the waitress brought her lunch.

Toni glanced at it and licked her lips. Allie gave her a curious look. aDid you eat?a aUh, well, I have to be in court. Itas right across the street,a she said as she eyed the sandwich.

Allie gave her a smirk and cut the sandwich in half. aHere, I donat want you fainting in front of a judge.a aThat would never do. Thanks, are you sure?a aDo I look like Iad miss half a sandwich?a Allie placed the half on her plate.

aYou look fine to me. Thanks again,a she said absently as she took a healthy bite. In three, she had it done.

Allie was astounded. aYou eat like Nick. Youall get indigestion,a she scolded as Toni gulped her coffee.

aSorry, but there was a fire last night, and I was at the scene till four this morning. Had two hours sleep, and Iave got to be in court.a Allie noticed the tired circles under her eyes. aWhy?a aI have to go periodically. Building codes, specsayouad be amazed at how many a.s.sholes try to bend the rules. Iam on this month, we alternate.a aWell, you look very professional,a Allie said as she drank her iced tea.

aHmm. They wanted me to wear a skirt. I laughed in their face. Do you know the last time I wore a skirt?a Allie chuckled and shook her head.

aFifteen years ago. My fatheras funeral,a she said definitely.

Allie blinked. aIam sorry,a she said softly.

Toni nodded emphatically as she gulped her coffee. aMe too. I hate heels.a Allie gaped at her. aNo. I meant about your father.a aOh. Thanks, but he was an a.s.shole. I have to run. Look, I have two Cubs tickets. I won them off a lieutenant at theTwenty-thirdaa aWhat was the bet?a aLong story. Wanna go?a aAre you nuts? The Cubs, yes,a Allie said quickly.

Toni laughed. aI knew you were a Cubs fan. Great. I know itas the last minute, but I just got the tickets yesterday. Can you get away tomorrow? Itas a one thirty game. Can you take the day?a Allie thought sadly, the day? Sat.u.r.day? Why not. aSure. Paul will be working.a aWonderful,a Toni exclaimed and glanced at her watch. as.h.i.t. Iam gonna be late. Okay. Iall come get you at noon, right?a She stood and finished her coffee. aThanks for the sandwich. It hit the spot.a aYouare welcome, see you then. Quit running!a Allie laughed as Toni stopped running right as she got to the door.

To her amazement, Paul walked in just as Toni dashed out. He held the door for a redheaded woman and another man. aPaul,a she called.

He found her and smiled, looking as surprised as Allie. He pointed to the counter and Allie nodded. He said something to the woman, then made his way to Allieas booth.

aThis is a surprise. What are you doing here?a he asked.

aIam eating lunch,a she said. Paul still looked confused. aYa know, from my job? Teaching?a Paulas face reddened. aI meant here.a He looked back at the counter. aIam with some a.s.sociates.a aI gathered that, honey.aAllie watched the redhead and the other man as they paid for the lunches. Allie grabbed her purse and slid out of the booth. aWell, I donat want to be late for cla.s.s. Be home for dinner?a Paul waved to his friends and looked at Allie. aWhat? Oh, Iam not sure. We have a client in. Iall call.a aOkay. Have a good rest of the day.a aYou too, Al.a He kissed her cheek and walked away. aCall ya later.a aOh, Iam going to the Cubs game tomorrow,a she called back.

Paul turned and grinned. aIam jealous, you brat.a *******

aBox seats. Iam impressed,a Allie said as they sat on the third-base side three rows behind the dugout. She glanced around Wrigley Field. aG.o.d, I love this park.a aMe too. I practically grew up here. Got Ernie Banks and Ron Santo to autograph a baseball when I was eight.a Toni whistled for the beer man. After ordering two, she grinned at the vendor, slipping him a folded bill. aDonat be a stranger, pal.a He nodded and winked as he walked away, calling out his ware.

Toni handed the beer to Allie and noticed the smirk. aWhat?a she asked in a helpless gesture.

aIall get the next one,a Allie a.s.sured her.

Toni nodded in understanding. aDutch date, huh? Okay, no problem. Although if we were dating, Iad be buying, toots.a aToots? Iall bet you win a great many hearts with that one.a Toni looked at her over her sungla.s.ses and flashed that d.a.m.nable grin. aYou have no idea,a she said in a low growl.

Allie said nothing further on the topic and concentrated on her beer. By the third inning, Allie was cursing up a storm. She jumped up and yelled, aMy mother hits better than you!a As she sat down, she noticed Toni staring wide-eyed. aWhat? She does.a She drank her beer. aG.o.d, they make me so mad. They break my heart every year.a aBut not as much as the sixty-nine Cubs. Youare too young, but they truly broke a few thousand hearts, including mine. I cried for a week.a aI know. If the Mets never win another game, Iad be in heaven,a Allie agreed.

Toni laughed openly and raised her beer. Allie laughed along, then stood and yelled at the next batter. She looked down to see Toni looking up at her, grinning. She then took a drink of her beer and a bite of her hotdog.

As Allie sat, she noticed Toni had mustard down the front of her white tank top. She narrowed her eyes at Toni, who wore a Cubs hat on backward, aviator sungla.s.ses, and mustard. It was now on her mouth and chin.

aI can see that youare single.a Allie offered the napkin.

Toni blushed and took it, then noticed her tank top. aOops. Wanna bite?a she enticed, and Allie licked her lips. Toni waved the hotdog in front on her. aItas so good and tasty, especially with a beer...a Allie opened her mouth to say yes, and Toni quickly shoved it in, laughing hysterically at Allie with mustard now on her blue blouse. Allie quickly ate the hotdog, glaring at Toni. aYou idiot. Do you have any idea how much itas going to cost to clean this? This is linen, you dope.a Toni threw her head back and laughed again. aWho wears linen to a Cubs game? Iall have it cleaned. Sorry, Alana, it was just too good to pa.s.s up.a By the fifth inning, Toni bought a bag of peanuts. Allie rolled her eyes as she sipped her beer. She watched Toni out of the corner of her eye as she took a peanut and popped it into her mouth, sh.e.l.l and all. She then proceeded to suck all the salt off and take it out of her mouth, open it, and eat the peanuts. She tossed the sh.e.l.ls aimlessly at her feet.

After several peanuts, Allie figured Toni must have felt the eyes of scrutiny upon her. She stopped in mid-lick and looked at Allie.

aThat is disgusting.a Toni laughed and continued. aI love salt.a aYou love beer, hotdogs, and nachos. Itas only the fifth inning. What, donat you want a frosty malt?a Tonias eyes lit up as she frantically looked around. aThanks for reminding me.a She looked for her new favorite vendor.

aNo, I donat want some,a Allie lied as Toni placed the ice cream on the wooden spoon.

aAlana, open wide.a She pressed the chocolate malt to Allieas lips.

Allie rolled her eyes and opened her mouth. aHmm.a She let out a throaty purr.

Toni immediately stopped grinning. aOkay, um, all done,a she said quickly and ate the rest.

aI donat get any more?a Allie asked in full pout.

Toni laughed nervously, her face bright red. aI think not.a aGood. I can barely fit in this seat anyway,a Allie said lightly.

Toni tossed the empty carton on the growing pile at her feet. She turned in her seat to face Allie.

aThatas the second time youave made a comment about how you look. Stop it, will you? I happen to think like your husband. You look great. Your body shows your life and love. Youave had two children and your body is beautiful because of it. So please, stop talking like that.a The man in the seat behind leaned in between them. aDid I come to a baseball game or Oprah?a Toni turned in her seat. aOprah, now mind your own business. Canat you see the Cubs are losing?a Allie chuckled but looked down at her hands. aHow do you know my husband thinks like that?a aWell, because he loves you. Youa"not just your body, which changes throughout your life. He loves your soul. So should you,a she finished quietly.

Allie looked into the gray eyes that bore into hers, seemingly willing Allie to believe. aThank you,a she whispered.

aYouare welcome. NowaI need a pretzel.a *******

aItas a combination of too many hotdogs, too much beer, and too much sun,a Allie scolded as she held the wet cloth to Tonias forehead.

aDonat forget the frosty malt.a She groaned.

Allie shook her head. She took the cloth away and doused it with water from the bottle. aYou eat like an eighteen-year-old, but you have the digestive system of aawell, whatever your age is.a Toni was sitting on the hood of her car in a pathetic pose. aFifty.a She groaned and held her stomach.

Allie was amazed. ah.e.l.l, you donat look it.a aHow old are you? Iad say maybe forty, and thatas only because you told me you had two grown kids,a she asked, fighting the wave of nausea.

aIall be fifty next July,a Allie said in an even voice.

Toni shot her head up and dropped her mouth. aFifty? Thatas impossible!a Allie nervously looked around. aThank you, now that all of Wrigleyville knows. Sit still.a She placed the cool cloth behind her neck. aIs this how you wow the women, Inspector?a Toni chuckled pathetically. aThe secretas out.a She sat there for a few moments as the crowd dissipated. aIam okay.a She slid off the hood of her car.

Allie gave her a wary glance. aYou need to get out of this sun. Even for early September, itas warm. Iam not too familiar with this area. What do you suggest? Whatas the closest?a aWell, thereas a bar just down the street, buta"a aFine, letas go. You can get some more water in you.a aButa"a aToni, quit arguing. Camon.a They walked down Clark Street, and Toni stopped at the entrance to the bar. aAlana, this place might not beaa Allie looked in. It was relatively empty with the door open. aThis is fine and you look a little pale.a Allie guided the ill woman to a small table by the window. As she got Toni in a chair, a man stood behind them. aWhatas wrong with your fella?a Allie heard a low chuckle from Toni, which she ignored. Allie looked up into the bluest eyes shead ever seen. aHe-sheas had a bit too much sun. Can we have some ice water, please?a The young man patted her arm. aSure, honey.a He looked at Toni and shook his head. aThe big butch,a he admonished quietly.

Allie turned five shades of red. Now she knew what Toni meant.

aThe bigger they area"a he said.

aThe harder they hit.a Toni growled.

The young man put up his hands in defeat. aBet sheas a p.u.s.s.ycat between the sheets,a he whispered to Allie, who smiled weakly.

Toni lifted her head. aI tried to explain.a Allie sat next to her and held the cloth against her forehead. aHey, Iam a grown woman. Wait till Paul hears I spent the afternoon in a gay bar with a gorgeous lesbian.a She stopped when she realized what she said.

Toni smiled but mercifully said nothing and lowered her head in her hands. Allie was grateful for the dim lighting.

aHeall be all jealous, and thatas when you a.s.sure him you love him. Then heall get all manly and sweep you into his arms and carry you off to bed,a Toni mumbled as Allie gently rubbed her back and held the cloth against her forehead. aIf you came home to me with a story like that, thatas what Iad do anyway.a Allie smiled at Tonias romantic side. She stared out the window and wondered just what Paul would do. What would Allie want? She looked down at Tonias head and reached out to touch her hair.

aIam okay now.a Toni looked up and took the cloth out of Allieas hand. aThanks.a aYouare welcome.a aFeeling better?a the young man asked. aHow about a c.o.c.ktail? Or more water.a aWater is good.a They sat for a moment in silence. Allie glanced around the bar; there were a few patrons sitting at quiet tables away from the bar. Mostly men, though Allie did see two women sitting at the table by the window. They laughed and kissed each other; they held hands and seemed like they were having a good conversation. A pang of jealousy swept through Alliea"she and Paul had not had a good conversation in years. She looked at Toni and realized she had talked more to this woman than her husband.

The drive home was quiet. Allie stole a glance at Toni now and then, knowing she was embarra.s.sed. Toni and Allie stood by the car in Allieas driveway. aG.o.d, Iam so sorry. Geez, I feel like an idiot.a aYou were at a fire till four in the morning. You could have canceled. Iad have understood, for heavensake. You only had two hours of sleep.a Toni shrugged and kicked at the tire. as.h.i.t, I almost puked.a Allie hid her grin. aItas okay. What are friends for, if not to be there when they vomit?a Both laughed as Allie continued, aNow stop it. Iall feel bad if you keep blaming yourself. It was a fun day.a Toni snorted. aSome fun.a aIt was. Where else would I be asked to dance by a transvest.i.te in the middle of the day?a she asked, and Toni laughed quietly. aI had more fun than Iave had in quite a while, Inspector OaHara. Now you go home and get some sleep. Iall talk to you next week.a She fought the urge to kiss her pouting cheek.

Toni looked up then and smiled. She reached in her wallet and handed Allie a card. aTake this, please. In case you need to get a hold of me for something.a Allie looked at the card. aThanks. Now get going. You still look pale,a she said in a worried voice.

aIt was a great day, Alana. Best Iave had in years,a she said as she got in behind the wheel.

Allie heard the sincerity in her voice. Toni pulled away before Allie could say another word.

Chapter 6.

aDid the Cubs win?a Paul asked as he buried his head in the refrigerator.

aDo you really need an answer to that?a Allie remembered the last part of her adventurous day. Allie was staring at nothing as Paul talked about work. She blinked a few times. aIam sorry, honey, what?a aI said itall only be for a few days. Our client wants to show us the facility in New York. Iall leave Tuesday and be back Friday night,a he said as he opened the bottle of beer.

aYou never had to travel before.a aWell, itas part of owning your own company, and I canat very well say no,a he said defensively. aChrist, Allie. Itas my job.a aWhoa.a Allie was shocked at his response. aIam not complaining. I was just stating the obvious.a Allie watched as he paced back and forth; it reminded Allie of a caged tiger. aWhat it is? Why are you getting so irritated?a Paul stood and ran his fingers through his thick graying hair. aIam not angry.a Allie quickly walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. aHoney, please talk to me.a He avoided her gaze.

aWhatas wrong?a Paul sighed and shook his head. aNothing, really. Iam just tired, thatas all.a He smiled and kissed her lightly on the lips.

aCamon, letas go to bed. You do look tired,a she offered and turned off the lights. aYouave been working too late at night. You need to relax.a As they climbed the stairs, Paul said nothing, but Allie could feel the tension emanating from his body. Once they were in bed, Allie lay on her side away from Paul. She felt the bed move as Paul slipped over behind her.

aAre you asleep?a he whispered and moved his hips against her.

Allie felt his arousal and desperately wanted to be aroused, as well. It had been so long since theyad had s.e.x or any kind of intimacy. She knew it was bad timing, but Allie was trying to remember when the last time was. As Paul pulled her toward him, Allie looked up into his eyes.

aItas been a while.a She really wanted to talk to him, to understand what was wrong. She reached up and touched his cheek. aWhatas wrong?a aOh, for chrissakes,a he said angrily. aCanat we just have s.e.x? Do we need to talk?a aNo, we donat need to talk, sweetie. Ia"a Paul smothered her next words with a bruising kiss as he slipped between her legs. For the first time since they were married, Allie felt extremely uncomfortable. aPaul, noaa He pulled back, breathing heavily and sporting a confused look. aWhatas the matter?a aThe matter?a Allie pushed him away. She struggled to get out from under him and the sheets. aIad like to know that myself.a She threw on her robe.

Paul ran his fingers through his hair and flopped on his back. aItas this menopause thing, right?a For a moment, Allie was stunned, then she laughed. aYes, that must be it. Itas just me and my menopause.a She angrily tied her robe and flipped on the light. Paul shielded his eyes and groaned. aWhat else could it possibly be?a aFine.a Paul rolled over.

aOh, no. Not this time, Paul Sanders.a She walked over and turned on the light by his side of the bed.

ad.a.m.n it, Allie. I have to get some sleep.a aA second ago, you wanted s.e.x.a aYeah, well, thatas not gonna happen now, is it?a he asked angrily and punched his pillow.

aItas been a long while since weave been intimate. And Iall be honest, this is the first time...a She stopped and sat on the edge of the bed. aI donat know. Whatas happening to us? It seems all you care about is your job and nothing else. Now out of the blue you want to have s.e.x, anda"a Paul rose up on his elbow. aAnd you donat. Why? Look, I know I havenat been attentive and Iave spent a good deal of time at work, butaa Allie looked at him as he seemed to gather his thoughts. aBut what? Please talk to me.a Paul looked into her eyes. Allie was shocked to see them misty. aI donat see the same look in your eyes. I havenat for a long time now.a Allie swallowed and said nothing, but she quickly stood and walked over to the window, her arms folded across her chest. Paulas next words tore through her heart.

aI know Iam a dope as you say, Al. I know. But a guy likes to feel his wife wants him, too.a After a moment of silence, Paul turned off the light. Allie looked out the window into the darkness, then walked down the hall to Jocelynas room.

She lay in the bed staring at the ceiling. She closed her eyes, trying to remember the time when she and Paul were first married and happy. It was a hard vision to conjure. She remembered when they met in college. Paul Sanders walked right up to her while she sat on the park bench, sketching, and asked her out. That was it. They dated and married a year or so after graduation.

She remembered them making love in their first apartment and closed her eyes. But the vision faded quickly. Then suddenly, Toni OaHaraas face, with the goofy grin, popped into her head. Allie chuckled softly when she remembered how sick Toni had gotten from eating everything in sight at the Cubs game. And in the next instant, Allie felt a surge of arousal that came from nowhere. She clenched her legs together to alleviate the sudden incessant throbbing. Oh, G.o.d, donat do this to me, she begged and hugged her pillowa"the urge to touch herself was overwhelming. In a moment, she gave into her arousal and slipped her fingers between her legs. With her eyes closed, she envisioned Tonias fingers on her, then her mouth. Oh, what am I doing? she asked herself.

The vision of Toni lying between her legs was overpowering. She felt her body begin to shake as it had never before. She felt strong but soft hands all over her, touching her, caressing her. Her fingers entwined in black, silvery hair as Tonias tongue danced through her.

aG.o.d Almighty!a she screamed into her pillow as her o.r.g.a.s.m ripped through her.

She pulled her hand away before she gave herself a heart attack. Oh, my G.o.d, she thought as her heart beat rapidly. Guilt then washed through her. She had a husband down the hall, and she was sleeping in her daughteras bed. She had the best o.r.g.a.s.m of her life, unfortunately self-induced, and she was fantasizing not about her husband, but about another woman.

She felt the same guilt nearly thirty years ago in college, before she met Paul. There was another who wanted Allieas affections, but it was a woman who proclaimed her love. Confused and totally out of her element, Allie ran; she ran from her kisses and words of love right into Paul Sandersas awaiting arms.

Allie shot out of bed and paced back and forth, much like Paul had earlier that night. Is that why she married Paul? Is that how it was? She sat on the edge of Jocelynas bed and buried her face in her hands.

aG.o.d, whatas happening?a she whispered. She sighed and crawled into bed, hugging the pillow.

The next morning, Allie whisked the sheets off the beds and tossed them with the other laundry, trying desperately to forget the entire night. Paul was already gone to work before Allie woke. She knew he wasnat much for talking, and he probably wouldnat want to revisit the topic again. She also knew it would be up to her if there were to be any resolution to what Paul had said and how he felt. She tried to dismiss the pained look on his face.

aIt would have been much easier if he was being a jerk,a Allie said as she finished making the bed. Out of the blue, she had a sudden craving for chocolate. aNow what? At least Iam not pregnant.a Though she smiled as she remembered being pregnant with Nick and Jocelyn. With Nick, she craved shrimp and pizza. It was hard to keep the weight off. With Jocelyn? She laughed openly as she took the laundry to the bas.e.m.e.nt. It was macaroni and cheese; she couldnat get enough. With Jocelyn, it was downright impossible to keep her weight down.