aIam a growing girl,a Toni said in a soft voice. Her heart raced a mile a minute.

aYou look tired,a Alana said.

Toni reached for her hand and frowned as she saw the elastic bandage on her injured hand. She gently pulled her into the office and sat her on the couch.

aWhat happened?a Toni sat next to her.

aIall explain everything. Iam sorry I havenat called you.a aDonat worry. Iam just so glad to see you. So did you punch out your husband?a aEx-husband. The divorce is final in another month.a aAlready?a aYes. Amicable divorces go quickly, we found out. Especially when thereas nothing to argue about.a She avoided Tonias eyes.

aYouare not telling me something,a Toni said seriously. aI can tell when you donat look me right in the eyes.a aWeall talk. I promise. Now Jocelyn and Nick are coming home next weekend. Iam cooking, so you have to come. You look like you havenat been eating right.a She looked into Tonias eyes then.

aIam fine. Itas a deal. Camon, letas go get lunch or something. I canat believe youare here.a *******

aYouave lost weight, Alana,a Toni said with a disapproving scowl. She dug into her bowl of chili.

aStress,a Allie grumbled as she ate.

Toni glanced at her sad look. aSo tell me about it and why you havenat called me in over a month,a Toni said evenly. She tried not to sound upset.

Allie scratched her temple. aWhere to start.a aWherever you like,a Toni said, eating her chili. aMaybe by telling me why youare divorcing Paul.a Allie looked up then. aAfter the kids were grown and moved away, it struck me that we had nothing in common, only the kids. And after talking to Paul, he felt the same way.a aI donat want to get into your business, and if Iam out of line, just say so.a aOkay.a aIs Paul having an affair with that redhead?a aNo, he isnat. And to answer your look. Yes, Iam sure, and yes, I believe him. Just as he believed me when I told him there was nothing between you and me.a Toni blinked as if trying to register the information. Allie smiled slightly. aHe likes you, but being a man, he was a little threatened by you and what we have.a aWhat we have?a Allie looked into her eyes again. aYes. I suppose he doesnat think I can have a very attractive lesbian friend, have a great time together, and be friends without s.e.x.a aWhy would he think that? I mean, he knows Iam a lesbian, but why would he think you would be in that situation?a Toni watched her spoon as she swirled it in the chili. She looked up when Allie didnat answer. The tears that formed in Allieas eyes took her off-guard. aAlana,a she whispered. aWhat is it?a Not wanting to add to the tense moment, Toni took a mouthful of chili.

Allie blinked and quickly wiped her cheek. aThere was a girl in collegeaa Toni nearly choked on her spoon. She started coughing and turned bright red.

Allie sat back and waited while Toni wiped off her sweater. aAre you all right?a aYes.a Toni glared at her. aYou do that on purpose. What the h.e.l.l did you say?a aYou heard me.a aAnd you will elaborate, please,a Toni said. She took a drink of water and cleared her throat.

aWhen I was in college, I had a friend Sue, who was a lesbian and who loved me, I guess. I donat know why.a aWhy she loved you or why she was a lesbian?a Tonias lips twitched. aSorry, just trying to keep it light. She loved you because youare a good woman. And she was more than likely a normal red-blooded American lesbian.a She pushed her chili away and leaned her elbows on the table. aWell, youave got my complete attention now.a Allie saw the crooked smile and felt her cheeks get hot. aWell, I was eighteen and had no idea about love let alone about lesbian love, so I ran. I was scared, and I ran away from her anda"a aRight to Paul.a Toni nodded.

aAnd never looked back.a Allie played with her water gla.s.s, avoiding Toni.

aAnd you never thought about it in all these years? Never had any feelings for another woman?a aIa"aAllie shook her head, finding her gla.s.s enthralling.

Toni waited. aCan I ask a personal question?a Allie laughed. aAt this point in our relationship, I have nothing to hide. No, I did not have s.e.x with her. Was that your question?a Toni chuckled along. aYes.a aButaa Toni stopped laughing. aBut what?a aWell, we did kiss and do what teenagers do.a aItas been a long time. What do they do?a Allie glared at her. aYou know exactly what Iam saying.a Toni laughed like a little kid. aI know. I just love to see your neck get all blotchy.a She took a drink from her water gla.s.s, looking at Allie over the top. aWell, you were a kid. This Sue knew who she was and must have cared a great deal to tell you how she felt.a She sat back then. aItas not easy to tell someone how you feel, especially when youare not sure how the other woman feels.a aAs the years went by, I had the kids, the house. I know I gave up my art, but it was worth it. Now with both of them gone, Iam teaching. Itas my pa.s.sion, and Paulas company is his.a aOkay, but it doesnat explain why he thought we had something going onaa aHe knew about Sue.a aHow?a Toni asked, completely surprised.

aSueas brother evidently told him about it when Paul and I were dating. Paul never said a word to me that he knew. So now when you come along and weare having such a wonderful time and Paul and I are not getting along, he put two and two together. Itas stupid, I know.a aNot so stupid,a Toni said. aI donat blame him. Now that I know whatas going on, I can see where he would think it.a aI know, but Iave explained thereas nothing, and he tells me now that he thinks heas falling in love with Donna.a She answered Tonias curious look. aThe redhead. Sheas a VP in accounting and loves the company.a aAnd Paul.a aYes. And Paul.a aSo it appears things between you are very amicable. Itas okay?a Allie chuckled at her hesitant tone. aYes, it really is. Itas kind of surreal. I mean, when you hear of a couple getting a divorce after so many years, you automatically think of yelling and blaming and wanting to strafe the other of everything. Paul and I were never like that. We may not be in love, but we do love each other. Itas over and done. We both agreed about the house, which Iall keep. Paul wants me to have a small percentage of his company, which I didnat want.a aLet him.a aWhy? I donat need charity.a Toni arched an eyebrow. aItas not charity. Iam sure Paul realizes what you did early in your marriage. You worked while you were pregnant. I think he did the right thing, and I donat think he did it out of charity or guilt. He did it because of your history together.a aI suppose. I donat know why I got angry.a aMaybe you donat want to feel like youare being taken care of.a Allie looked at her then. aYouare right. I donat. Iave spent my whole life taking care of a family, a house, and for years, holding a job when I had one. I can take care of myself. Nick said the same thing. He worried Iad be lonely but didnat worry his father would.a aHe wants to take care of you. As time goes by, heall realize youall be just fine. I know you will.a aYou do?a Allie smiled. aThanks. I am happy.a aGood. You know, even though this sucks and itas painful, I think you and Paul acted out of love for each other and your kids. To go on like this would be a waste of your lives.a Allie sighed pensively. aYouare right.a aSo you have the house.a aThatas in good shape.a For the first time, Allie felt excited about the future. She felt that fluttering in her stomacha"that antic.i.p.ation of the unknown. aI just need a few things done around the house, like I think the roof. The kitchen sink leaks, and thereas something going on with the furnace. Iam not quite sure what that is,a she said and Toni chuckled.

aWell, then this is your lucky day, Ms. Sanders,a Toni said, emphasizing the aMs.a Allie grinned suspiciously. aI see the wheels turning, OaHara.a aIam a handywoman extraordinaireaa she announced with a mouthful of chili.

aHow so?a aI can fix a leak and check out the roof. I have a few friends who owe me favors. Iall have them come over and give the house the once-over, a good inspection,a Toni a.s.sured her.

aI canat let you do that,a Allie said in a small voice.

aOh, youare not letting me do anything. Youare going to feed me,a she a.s.sured her.

Allie laughed openly and agreed.

Chapter 20.

aPlease be careful,a Allie begged as she held the ladder.

Toni grinned as she looked down. She adjusted the Cubs hat she wore; she had gathered her hair through the opening in the back, pulling her thick hair off her neck. Allie decided she liked the look and tried to ignore how her heart skipped a beat at the thought of it.

aDonat be a nag. Iam a firefighter, for heavensake,a she said as she stood on the roof.

Allie looked up and cringed as she lost sight of her. She let go of the ladder and walked back. Toni stood on the roof kicking at the shingles.

aWhatas the verdict?a Allie called up, shielding her eyes from the cool spring sun.

Toni shrugged and called down, aWhen was the last time you got a new roof?a aFive years ago, I think.a Toni dusted off her hands and nodded. Allie quickly ran back to man the ladder. She watched as the long jean-clad legs made their way down. The hammering started again as Allie watched the muscles in her rear flex. There was a hole in the pocket of the worn jeans, and as Tonias a.s.s came too close to her face, Allie swallowed. She was so close, she saw the dark blue of her underwear peeking through the threadbare denim.

She quickly stepped back as Toni jumped down the last few rungs. aIad say youare fine. Just a few shingles to replace. Iall go pick some up, be right back,a she said and walked away.

aWait, you donat have to do that. Iall get a roofer.a aYou will not. Do you know how much that will cost? Why would you pay when I can do it just as easily?a Toni asked seriously.

Allie had no good reason. aI just donat...a Toni took an exasperated breath. She placed her hands on Allieas shoulders. aI know what Iam doing and Iam your friend. Why throw money away? Now let me go before you talk us out of daylight,a she said as her lips twitched.

Allie narrowed her eyes. aVery funny, OaHara. Okay, you win. I appreciate your help and accept your offer,a she said firmly and grabbed Toni by the arm as she walked away, aon one condition.a aThereas always a condition.a Toni sighed. aOkay, what is it?a aI make you dinner whenever you do this. And I pay for any material.a Toni thought for a moment. aYouall go broke feeding me but okay.a Allie laughed as Toni jumped into her car and took off.

Allie was in the kitchen making lunch when the back doorbell rang. aG.o.d, Toni, you can come in!a aAllie? Itas Vicky.a Her friend poked her head in the back door. aHi! Camon in. Hey, Amy and Jimmy! Hi, kids,a Allie exclaimed as she ushered them into the kitchen.

aHow are you, Allie?a Vicky asked with a concerned look. aWe havenat talked for a couple weeks.a Allie smiled and shrugged. aI feel good. You know things were not good. It was a long time coming. Heas happy. Iam happy. The more I think about it, the more I realize how I was just going along all those years. Making excuses for him, for me. I wasted so many years.a She wiped the countertop. aOh, I shouldnat say wasted. It was a good life for the kids. They were always the most important thing. Paul and I agreed on that.a She tossed the cloth in the sink and turned back to Vicky. aNow Iam starting over and Iam happy.a aGood for you! Did you take him to the cleaners?a she asked as they settled the two kids at the table.

Allie laughed. aI did not. I wanted the house, thatas all.a aBut, but the business. He has to be worthaa aI donat care, donat want it. Now,a she said and ruffled Jimmyas hair. aWhoas hungry?a aI am,a Toni exclaimed from the back porch.

Vicky whirled around and grinned at Allie, who gave her a scathing glance. Toni stood on the porch wiping her boots.

aYou have to work for your lunch, Inspector OaHara.a Vicky gaped at the two women; Allie loved the flummoxed look and did a little grinning of her own.

aSlave driver,a Toni mumbled, then saw Vicky. aHey, Vicky, how are you?a she asked as she walked into the overcrowded kitchen. aThis kitchen is a fire hazard.a aFine, Toni, h-how are you?a she said self-consciously.

Toni smirked. aHowas Mike? I havenat seen you two at the club for a while.a She didnat give Vicky a chance to respond. aAnd Iam doing well. Just doing a little roof repair for the schoolmarm.a aThatas right, now get back to work,a Allie grumbled playfully.

aYes, maaam.a She walked out but not before snagging a handful of potato chips and winking at the giggling children.

Vicky finally closed her mouth and slowly turned to Allie. aSheas fixing your roof?a Again, Allie loved the incredulous tone. aYep, and the sink and the furnace. Sheas pretty handy to have around,a Allie said lightly and walked away.

aIall bet.a Vicky sighed and sat in a dejected heap and ate a potato chip.

The day had grown considerably warmer for March. Vicky and the kids had gone, and now Allie heard Toni walking on the roof; she then heard a heavy thud. She stopped making the sandwich for Toni and ran through the swinging door.

aOh, G.o.d, she fell off the roof!a she exclaimed and dashed out the screen door and ran into the brick wall.

aOooff!a Toni grunted as she held on to the out-of-control woman. aGeez, youare always running into me. Whatas the matter? See a mouse?a aNo, you idiot. I heard something on the roof. I thought you fell,a she said, holding her heart.

aYouad have heard me scream like a girl.a Toni laughed as she wiped the sweat off her forehead. aThe noise you heard was the pile of shingles. Iam nearly done, but I needed some water.a She followed Allie into the kitchen. aG.o.d, youare filthy!a she said as she handed her the gla.s.s. She watched as Toni gulped the entire gla.s.s and asked for another.

Allie nearly fainted when Toni took off her ball cap, then her shirt. She wore a plain gray tank topa"a tight-fitting tank topa"underneath.

aMan, it got hot!a she said as Allie took the discarded shirt. She found herself staring at the muscles in her arms, and good Lord, she stared at Tonias b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Allie could not find enough moisture to swallow. She refilled the gla.s.s and drank it quickly.

aAlmost done. Iad say another hour or so. Hmm, whatas for lunch?a she asked, eyeing the lunchmeat on the counter. Allie gently pushed her out the swinging door, trying to fight the tingling sensation when she touched Tonias firm back.

aIam going, Iam going.a Toni laughed as she walked out.

An hour later, Toni stood by the sink washing her hands and face. Allie tossed her a towel.

aOkay! Your roof should be fine for at least another few years. Iall have a friend of mine come and check it out anyway.a She rubbed her hands together and sat down. aIam starving.a aNews flash.a Allie set the huge sandwich in front of her.

aWow, thatas a sandwich!a Toni exclaimed and dug in.

Allie shook her head as she set an icy cold bottle of beer next to the plate and sat. aYou know the way to my heart.a aDo I?a Allie found herself asking before she could stop.

Toni blinked in midbite, dropping a slice of tomato in her lap. Allie chuckled, and Toni blushed. Neither woman acknowledged the question.

aYou really like to do physical work, donat you?a Allie asked as they ate lunch.

Toni nodded. aI do. As a kid, I always wanted to be a fireman. Mostly because of Kevin, you met him. And because I didnat want to be anything like my father.a Her voice trailed off. She took a healthy pull on the icy beer. aKevin was a fireman, and when my father would go on a bender, Iad go to a coffee shop. Kevin nearly killed Dad once. I was petrified, my mother begged Kevin to leave. It was horrible. The kids were crying. I was trying to get them out of the house. My mother was pulling at Kevin, who was so filled with anger...a aHow old were you?a Allie asked softly.

Toni blinked. aI dunno. Maybe twelve. I was big for my age, always pa.s.sed for being older. It got me into a few places when I was about sixteen,a she said, wriggling her eyebrows.

Allie gaped at her. aWhat did you do?a aI knew at an early age that I was gay. So I got a fake ID and pa.s.sed for eighteen; alcohol was legal at eighteen for a while, remember way back then? So I went to my first gay bar, waltzed right in, and ordered a beer.a aYou did not! At sixteen?a Allie exclaimed and leaned forward. Toni nodded. aWhat happened?a aI got s.h.i.t-faced and had my first s.e.xual experience.a aNo!a aYes!a aWas itaa aI barely remember, but I remember throwing up,a she said lightly. aAh. First love!a Allie threw her head back and laughed. Toni joined her.

aHow about your first time?a Toni munched on a pickle.

aIt was with Paul.a Allie shook her head.

aYouave onlyaa aYes, donat remind me,a Allie said flatly. aWe were just about to graduate. Alcohol was involved, as well. If I were honest, looking back on it, I was thinking of Sue and what happened. It was over in a matter of minutes.a aOuch.a aThough it certainly wasnat all Paulas fault, it was a sign of things to come, or not coming,a she said, and Toni spit up her beer in laughter.

aYou have an annoying habit of doing that to me when my mouth is full.a aYour mouth is always full,a she gently reminded her.

aToo true. So what else has to be fixed?a Toni asked. aCamon, tell me.a aWell, the sink in the bathroom is backed up. Butaa It was too late. Toni already grabbed the toolbox off the counter and bounded up the stairs. Allie got up with a groan. aI wish I had that womanas energy. And her body.a By the time Allie got to the bathroom, Toni was on her back under the sink. Allie raised an eyebrow but said nothing as she looked at Tonias flat abdomen; Allie remembered those days.

aI need a wrench from the toolbox. The real big one.a Allie lifted it out with a groan. aHow can youaa Toni easily took it and started uns.c.r.e.w.i.n.g the bolt. Allie watched as she took the U-joint off and cleaned it out, then reattached it. aNot sure if this will be enough. Iall come back later and check it out. You may not need a plumber.a Toni sat up, wiping her hands on her jeans. As Toni sat forward, Allie realized she knelt too close to Toni. Their faces were inches apart.

aSo youare not a plumber, as well?a Allie asked in a strained voice.

Toni grinned. aI am not.a She then stopped grinning and swallowed as she looked into Allieas eyes. aNever noticed how green your eyes were.a aThey are?a Allie whispered and quickly shook her head. She noticed the smudge of grease on Tonias cheek and tentatively reached over to wipe it off. aYou have grease on your face.a Toni grew serious and just nodded. Allie was painfully aware that Toni stared at her lips, and she took the time to run her tongue over them. When Toni moved her hand and placed it on her hip, Allie tried to control the quivering jolt that shot through her. She allowed Toni to gently pull her closer.

aAlana,a Toni whispered tenderly.

At the sound of the soft endearment, Allieas legs trembled. Eyes focused on full lips as they drew nearer.

aG.o.d, Toni,a she whispered desperately and closed her eyes. She could feel Tonias soft, warm breath against her lips. G.o.d, sheas going to kiss mea aAllie! Toni! Itas Vicky, where in the h.e.l.l are you?a Allie jumped like a scalded hound and scooted back. Toni did not move, but she was breathing as though she had run a race. They stared at each other.

aU-up here.a Allie tried to call out, but her mouth was bone dry. She cleared her throat. aWeare in the bathroom, Vicky,a she called out and stood with Tonias offered hand. Allie had the wrench in her hand, not knowing what to do with it. She looked up at Toni.

The look of pure unadulterated want in the gray eyes melted Allie to the spot. She groaned helplessly and sagged against the bathroom sink, holding the wrench in both hands. aG.o.d, donat look at me like that,a she begged.

aWhat are you two doing in the bathroom?a Vicky asked as she looked at both women.

aFixing a problem,a Toni said in a low voice. She squeezed between the women and walked out.

Allie swore she could feel the heat emanating from Tonias body.

Vicky looked down the hall. aG.o.d, she is hot!a She fanned herself.

Allie glared at her. aWhy donat you take a cold shower while youare in here?a She stormed out of the bathroom.

aWhat did I do?a aWhat do you want?a Allie asked as Vicky followed her downstairs.

aIam making Mike his favorite dish. I need to borrow a couple things,a she said as she bounded into the kitchen.

aHelp yourself,a Allie said absently. She looked out the window at Toni, who dragged the ladder back to the garage. What would have happened if Vicky hadnat come by? She knew the answer. She still felt Tonias warm breath on her lips.

With Vicky gone, Toni came back into the kitchen. aShe makes me nervous,a she admitted and picked up an apple.

For some reason, Allie was aggravated. Toni watched her absently as she scoured the countertopa"twice.

aMaybe itas because she thinks youare hot,a she said sarcastically.

Toni stopped in midbite, the apple hanging out of her mouth. She blinked, then quickly chewed. aWhat did you say?a aYou heard me.a aAlanaaa aOh, skip it. If you run, you might be able to catch her.a Allie immediately wanted the childish words back. Okay, out of control, out of control. Allie looked to the heavens for help.

Toni tossed the apple core in the garbage and grabbed Allie by the elbow. aWhatas wrong? Why are you so angry?a aIam not. Letas just forget it.a Toni let her go and let out a dejected sigh. aI apologize for what nearly happened upstairs.a Allie shot a look into the gray eyes. aSorry? Why?a She put her hands on her hips. aWould it have been so awful?a Toni jerked her head in Allieas direction. aW-what?a aQuit making me repeat myself,a she said angrily and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving Toni standing here looking very confused.

Allie stood by the living room window. She stared at nothing in particular. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the kitchen door creak on its hinges.

aI-I better go,a Toni said in an uncertain voice. aTo answer your question. No, it would be far from awful.a The hammering started as Allie smiled. aYou told me you could fix a leak,a Allie said, still staring out the window. She turned to the grinning Toni. aOr was that just a ploy to get me to feed you?a Toni laughed and tossed her jacket back down on the chair and headed back to work.

Chapter 21.

aAlana, are you sure? The last time I saw your son, I threatened to kick his a.s.s,a Toni said, regretting her angry words. Nick was only trying to protect his mother. Toni knew the feeling.

aOf course. He asked if you were coming. Nick likes you, so does Jocelyn,a Allie said honestly.

aG.o.d, I hope so because I really like your kids.a There was silence for a moment. Since the near kiss the week before in Allieas bathroom, neither woman had broached the subject. Toni was too overwhelmed by the possibility of what that kiss would have meant. She wondered if Alana felt the same.