I walked in and paused by the door and saw him before he saw me. He was digging into his bag for something. I walked up five rows and sat next to him. He was still digging in his bag but he was smiling now. It was contagious and soon we were both smiling like goons.

I got my notebook and pen out and faced forward to get ready for the lecture. We had moved on to Tennessee Williams and I loved him too. I felt something being slipped into my hand and looked down to see Owen slipping my key back into my hand but this was no trivial act. It was slow and deliberate, his simple act made me want to take him into the empty hallway and do all the things I thought about doing last night, and this morning. He rubbed the back of his neck in my peripheral and I turned my head slightly to smile at him as I put the key in my pocket. He was blushing and it I swore it was more apparent than mine in the library the day before.

I would give organs to know what he was thinking about.

I stared forward trying my d.a.m.ndest to pay attention and failing. My fingers itched and I had to flex them and wring them with my other hand to make them cease their mission. My body had plans of its own regarding Owen. How much longer I was going to be able to control it, I didn't know.

Cla.s.s ended and we stayed seated while the ma.s.ses filed out of the cla.s.sroom around us. I got up and looked back at him. He was smiling up at me and I wondered if he knew the profound effect it had on me.

"You have time for lunch?" He asked.

"No, I have to go straight to work." I answered.

"Ok, well, see you later." He answered and stood up next to me.

"Yeah, ok." I made my way out with him behind me in silence until we parted ways outside the building. He stopped walking but I didn't stop. I didn't want to be late for work.

Cindi was perky and loud today and proclaimed that Leah and I were getting paid through ten o'clock but that she was closing the store at eight. I was relieved as I didn't get hardly any sleep the night before knowing that Owen was just steps away.

We closed up early, having to scoot and persuade the remaining customers out. One older lady didn't want to stop reading the book she had so I told her it was my gift. It was an older paperback and we sold them for two dollars. I told Cindi I would pay her but she just laughed and said something about me loving the customers more than she did.

I went home to an empty apartment. I peeked into Amber's room and she wasn't there again. So this time I just called him.

"Hey" He answered quickly "Are you having to stay out of your room?" I asked.

"No, I'm in my room. They went somewhere. I don't know where."

"Oh, ok, good. I just got in from work and wondered."

"I'm fine. Thanks for checking on me."

"Of course. Well, I'm gonna get showered and go to bed. I'll see you when I see you I guess."

"Goodnight Nellie."

"Night." I hung up the phone, showered and went to bed. I pulled the covers up around me and it smelled like his scent and mine mingled together. It was heaven.

I picked up my phone and texted him.

N: My bed smells like you.

O: I wish mine smelled like you.

N: Makes it feel like you are here with me.

O: I wish I was.

N: Me too.

I put my phone back to charge and curled up in my Owen scented pillows.

18. Owen.

Between Dylan's snoring and Nellie saying things like that to me I was never going to sleep right again.

I wanted to see her tomorrow, but at the same time I didn't want to smother her. Absence and fondness and all that. So tomorrow I would go to my cla.s.ses as usual and then hit the gym. I put my arms behind my head and started to nod off. But I missed her already. I just felt off-probably just tired.

I woke up the next day and went to my morning cla.s.ses. I ate lunch with Dylan and we were both relieved that we were almost at mid-term. It felt like this semester was lasting forever. After I went to the gym I grabbed dinner and went to the commons area in the dorms to watch the latest zombie show with everyone else. I probably looked at my phone five thousand times wondering if she had texted me or called me. But she didn't. I knew that she had practice between six and eight, so I didn't even bother looking until after that. I got into bed about ten o'clock and I had waited long enough. I wondered how big of a dork she would think I was.

O: I miss u.

N: You have no idea.

I let a huge breath escape and smiled to myself. I had turned into a certifiable sap. My phone alerted me before I could respond to her.

N: Practice was killer.

O: Did you take something?

N: Nah, just soaked in the tub.

O: Won't keep you. Get some sleep.

N: Ok. Goodnight.

O: Goodnight.

Morning came quickly and Dylan still wasn't in his bed. Poor Nellie probably had to listen to all sorts of noises last night. I looked at the time and went to eat breakfast before I went to cla.s.s, just stopping at a drive-thru. Surprisingly, I arrived in cla.s.s after her and she had an empty seat next to her. She d.a.m.n near killed me with her sweetness, but I was drawn to it simultaneously. How in the world she managed to look at me like she did was beyond imagination. One of these days I was going to have to explain to her how jagged I still was. How the scars had faded, but were still visible. How I didn't feel like she should have anything to do with me if she knew. I felt unworthy.

Still I approached her, unable to help myself. I sat next to her stiff as a board and unable to move, strangled by my own self-loathing.

As soon as she touched me, my whole body released its stress and tension and relaxed in an instant. She slowly and deliberately ran her fingers under my wrist and lined her hand up with mine but she stopped there. She was waiting for me to complete the bond between our hands. I positioned my hand to let her fingers cross in and out of mine and she rubbed her thumb along the side of my hand.

Her poker face stood unmoved by our connection. She continued to stare at the professor droning on and on about-something. Maybe she wasn't affected by our touch the way I was. But I remembered the way she melted into me at the library so I decided to test the waters.

I unlatched my hand from hers and ran it up her shorts clad thigh and as I progressed she gasped and then feigned a coughing fit to cover it up after almost everyone in the cla.s.sroom turned to look at her. I could barely contain my laughter. After she finished fake coughing I put my hand back on her leg but this time she slapped it away. Minutes later cla.s.s ended and now I didn't know if I had a lunch date or not.

She was quiet for a few minutes and I finally let out my laughter and I got slapped in the shoulder for it.

"I cannot believe you! I'm never sitting next to you again. Ever."

She was yelling but she was laughing too.

"Oh come on. You were sitting over there so cool like you didn't care where I was. I had to make a point."

"You 'bout done?" She asked.

"Just getting started."

I let her put her backpack on before I grabbed her up and threw her over my shoulder. She screamed and beat on my back and kicked frantically but to no avail. Her screams turned into uncontrollable laughter and she was shaking on my shoulder.

"You're supposed to be mad."

"I can't, it's like Shrek and Fiona!" Admitting it out loud made her laugh harder.

"Did you just call me an ogre?" I said in my best Scottish accent.

Suddenly she was pulling up my shirt in the back.

"What the h.e.l.l do you think you're doing?" I said as I rearranged her so she wouldn't fall off.

"I'm seeing if you're green under there." She laughed so hard that it now had become silent and her whole body was shaking on my shoulder.

"Put my shirt down before I hang you by your ankles."

"OK, ok, ok. I wasn't looking at your b.u.t.t crack. Jeez."

By the time we got there she was complaining of her stomach hurting from laughter.

I sat her down at a table very non-gracefully.

"Hey! I'm not a sack of cement. Take it easy."

I bent down and kissed the c.r.a.p out of her right there in the middle of the dining tables in the Union and that shut her up.

"I'm going to get us some lunch while you recover, ok Princess Fiona?"

Her cheeks were a cute shade of red and she just nodded.

I came back a few minutes later with burgers and fries and sat across from her. She had turned serious but her blush remained.

"You ok?" I asked as I put way too much ketchup on my plate.

"Yeah." She whispered.

We both ate and I could tell she was thinking way too hard about something. I looked up and she smiled at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. I, um, I have to go to work." She scrambled.

"Ok, I'll throw your stuff away. Be careful."

She stopped in her tracks as I told her to be careful and I meant it.

She turned around and walked back up to me and bent down to kiss me on the cheek and then kept walking. It was too late for me now. I was long gone.

19. Nellie.

If he didn't quit being the way he was I was going to be a goner. And if I was honest with myself, I already was. I felt free. Free to be who I was without judgment or presumptions about who I should be.

I went into work and Cindi wanted to talk to me in the back. I hadn't done anything, so I wasn't really worried but it was weird. I went into her office and she wore bright yellow boots and huge yellow flower earrings but she looked serious as a heart attack.

"Yo, what's up homie?" She said and I just rolled my eyes.

"The thug thing is not working." I laughed as I told her.

"d.a.m.n. So I need to talk to you." She patted me on the knee.

"Shoot."

"Ok, I never really liked this store. I mean people read more than they buy. I've been told that selling on the internet could change that, but I suck at the internet. So I was thinking that I'd give the store to you."

I gripped the edge of her desk and looked around to see if I was on a hidden camera show. She shot from the hip, that was for sure.

"You can't be serious."

"Well, I wouldn't joke."

"Holy c.r.a.p!" I screamed.

"Everyone would stay on as employees. You'd have to name a manager to be in charge when you're not here. But the profits and the running of the place would be yours."

"Holy c.r.a.p!" I screamed again.

"Come on h.e.l.lie. I'm beginning to rethink this if all you can say is that."

I just sat there amazed and frightened. This was huge.

"OK, just think it over. It will be six months before it can officially be yours. I need to get some loans paid off and leave you in the clear. So just take some time and think about it."

"Um, ok."

My shift ended and I didn't remember a thing about it. All I could think about was Cindi and her offer. There was no way I was turning her down, but I also wanted to let it sit for a while to make sure I took all of this seriously.

I got home and Amber was watching some show about people singing on TV. I walked right past her and into the kitchen to make something to eat. We seriously needed to go grocery shopping.