"Huh-yeah, you look like you're really excited." She turned towards the window and opened a book.

"Yeah, and that book is really going to help us spend time together." I answered and wished that someone would invent a muzzle for stupid boyfriends like me.

She slammed the book shut and threw it towards the back of the car and I heard it 'thump' against the back window, folded her arms and put her forehead on the window.

"Look, I'm..." I started to apologize but she put her hand up and stopped me.

"Just don't Owen." She whispered it and sounded on the verge of tears.

We drove for four hours straight before I pulled over on the side of the road to stretch and use the bathroom. As soon as I turned off the ignition she bolted out of the car and straight for the bathroom. She came out a few minutes later and headed into the convenience store. She emerged minutes later with two bags and two drinks in her hands. She got into the SUV without even a glance in my direction. I got in after using the restroom myself and she was back to her window facing posture.

I reached over, no longer able to stand her despair and touched the back of her neck. She slumped her shoulders and visibly let go of her hurt.

"I'm sorry. I'm an a.s.s." I said and she turned to me smiling.

"You are an a.s.s today. I just don't understand why." She turned in her seat towards me.

"I've just been aggravated all week about not seeing you. It was just frustrating."

"Ok but we're here now and you're ruining it. What gives?" She took hold of my hand.

"I don't know. But it changes right now. Ok?" I kissed the tip of her nose and it seemed to satisfy her.

"Good. I just want to get up there and forget the world." She leaned her head against my shoulder as we drove on.

But the sad thing was, I knew exactly what it was. It had been eating at me since she told me that a.s.shat had gotten flirty with her in cla.s.s and now she was spending a lot of time with him. Moreover, I was still coming down on myself about not being good enough for her. I had to put the flirt machine and the self depreciation behind me before it ate me alive-and took us down with it.

We got to the cabin and the rest of the family arrived earlier in the day. The restaurant was being run by management while Mom was gone. Before the front door opened, the smells of Mom's cooking already wafted around us. I turned to Nellie and she gave me a questioning look.

"What is that look for?" She said "You better kiss me before we go in. We might not get another chance." I laughed and she fulfilled my request and kissed me until the door opened before we were finished.

"Ewwww, get a room you two." It was Maddox who thought we were gross.

"We would've taken the whole cabin but 'no' everyone had to be here." I plastered on a fake smile.

"Owen, be nice." Nellie elbowed me in the ribs.

We went in and were greeted by the whole family. It neared midnight and we were all dead on our feet.

"Owen, you will be with your brothers right next to our room." She c.o.c.ked her eyebrow as she said it. "And Nellie will be on the oooooooootherrrrrr side of the cabin in the loft with Kate."

And of course Falcon had to chime in. "Dude, you just got blocked."

"Shut up Falcon." Everyone chanted at once.

We all dispersed to our respective sleeping areas and I couldn't help but text Nellie before I went to sleep.

O: Meet me behind the cabin in 10 min.

N: Nope.

O: Y? U asleep?

N: Nope. Having hot chocolate w/ur Mom outside. Ur 2 slow.

O: I will find a way.

N: Your Mom's a ninja. She'll find out.

O: Mark my words.

I went to the window and pulled back the curtains to see Mom and Nellie outside on the porch both bundled in blankets, holding hot chocolate and giggling. Amber hadn't been around much for Nellie since she and Dylan practically lived together now. Dylan didn't even have any clothes or possessions in the dorm room anymore. I was glad she had my mom, I was, but d.a.m.n it if I didn't want to kiss her one last time before I went to sleep.

35. Nellie.

Sat.u.r.day morning the boys went fishing and Sylvia, Kate and I went shopping in the nearest town.

Kate was very sweet and told us all about Falcon and how they met.

Sunday afternoon after a very long cell phone conversation Sylvia and Chase decided it was time for them to go home. Their restaurant's manager was sick and the wait staff was having to run everything on their own. Owen was so over the top fake about his disappointment. It made me giggle.

Everyone pitched in to help get their things to the car and we waved from the front porch as they drove away. I walked into the front door and flopped onto the couch ready to relax and enjoy the rest of our trip. The couch depressed next to me and I could feel Owen close to me.

"Please tell me that you brought the green bikini." He groaned the words out.

"Nope." I smiled with my eyes closed as my head rested on the back of the couch.

"Ok, well I guess I'm going to get in the hot tub by myself."

"I guess so. Have fun." He sat there for a good five minutes waiting for me to give in but eventually I heard the back door open and close.

I ran and put on a swimsuit that was guaranteed to make more than the water boil and made my way outside covered by a towel. I opened the door and the chilling wind hit me, making me walk faster towards my destination.

He sat in the hot tub the bubbles lapping at his chest and at first glance I thought he was asleep. I let the towel fall to the floor and his eyes popped open, immediately focused on me.

"I knew you couldn't resist." He smugly whispered.

"I never intended to resist. I just wanted to make you squirm a little." I laughed as I climbed the couple of stairs up to the edge of the hot tub.

"How do you manage to get more and more gorgeous every time I see you?" He asked me.

"Same way you manage to make me blush from across the room." I stepped into the bubbling, boiling water and let the heat creep over me.

Owen met me halfway across and moved to let me sit where he sat just moments ago.

"That's the best spot." He said and as I felt the jets pulsing on my back I knew he was right.

He rubbed my feet as he sat next to me with my legs draped over his lap and it reminded me of the library.

"What's so funny?" He said.

"It's not funny. I was just smiling at you rubbing my feet. Reminds me of the library."

"You started it rubbing your feet on my back. I love it that you were so comfortable with me already. You trusted me without a second thought."

"Yeah, 'cause your hands on my thighs sure felt like trust." I giggled.

"Well, if you don't like it I won't ever do it again." He smiled.

He leaned over but didn't kiss me. He stayed centimeters from my face. But his hands were moving at the same speed and strength as they did in the library. But this time there was no skirt stopping his ascension. I gasped as he ran his fingers under the sides of my white bikini bottom and then back towards my b.u.t.t. He stopped short and began a journey upwards teasing the strings that held my top on.

"One swift move and this tiny white bikini would be history." I could feel the words leave his mouth as his lips moved against mine as he spoke.

"I thought I was doing good to bring the white one to remind you of my wedding dress color. I thought you might behave yourself." I was sorely mistaken.

"Oh it reminds me. And then it makes me think about our wedding night and a white dress. .h.i.tting the floor." His thumbs now teased just inside the hem at the sides of my top venturing to places he'd never ventured to before.

"How many months until I can take this off?" He bit my lower lip after he said it and I checked to make sure the d.a.m.ned swimsuit hadn't melted off.

"Three? Four? I can hardly remember my name right now."

"Hmm-I love that I do that to you." He said and finally, finally he took my mouth with his and pressed me against him and I doubted even the water could infiltrate the s.p.a.ce between us.

He broke our kiss much faster than I liked and my whole body was flushed and it had nothing to do with the hot tub. Owen and I together were more on fire than a thousand hot tubs combined.

Monday we completely vegged out. We watched movies and I never changed out of my pajamas the entire day. Owen stayed in a pair of shorts and a Tulane hoodie and I had never seen him as laid back and comfortable as I did that day. He laughed out loud at the funny movies and when I practically made him watch a romantic movie he hugged me to him during the sappy parts.

I started to fall asleep with my head on a pillow on his lap as he played with my hair.

"I don't want to go back to school." I groaned.

"I don't want to either. Between cla.s.ses and studying and your job I never get to see you anymore. I can't wait to get this semester over with. Plus, we know that your chem. Lab partner is trying to steal you from me." He laughed at that last part but for some reason his story about Amy came to mind and I wanted to nip this in the bud immediately.

I sat up and turned to face him.

"Are you serious or joking 'cause I can't tell. And I need to know if I should be p.i.s.sed or laughing." I tried my hardest to shoot invisible daggers his way.

"About what? That Ayden guy? I'm kidding. I mean he would be crazy not to want you but..." He was struggling so I decided to finish the sentence for him before he said something that made me really p.i.s.sed.

"But-you know that I love you and you trust me completely so there was never anything to worry about, right? That is what you were going to say, right?"

"Totally." He said and smiled at me but it was a smile that was superficial.

I squinted at him and he chuckled.

"It's not funny Owen. I'm not Amy. I'm yours and only yours for the rest of our lives."

"I know. And I would never stoop so low as to compare you to her. Did you know that I never brought her home to meet my parents? I don't know why. I guess I was ashamed of our relationship. I knew my mom wouldn't like her."

"I know. You forget that Sylvia is like my bestie." I said smugly.

"I love that, you know. I love that my mom loves you."

"I'm glad. It feels like I've belonged in this family all along." I laid back down and buried my face in his stomach and before long, with his hand stroking my arm, I fell fast asleep.

We packed up reluctantly on Wednesday and left early in the morning. I wasn't ready to get back to the daily grind and neither was Owen. He had been quieter than usual after the mention of Ayden the other night and I could tell that it bugged him way more than he was letting on. But there were three more months left of the semester. We could endure anything for a few more months.

I shook his hand that held mine, "I know how I'm going to remember the boat weekend and I know how I'm going to remember this trip."

He turned to me and smiled and it was genuine. "I know how I'm going to remember this trip too."

"How," I asked.

"Two words baby. Hot-tub."

"My thoughts exactly." I giggled.

"You have to work tomorrow?" He asked.

"Yeah, I have to work in the afternoon. Are you staying with me tonight? You can do your laundry there."

"Are you going to beg," he asked.

"Nope. It's your turn." I giggled again.

"I have no problem begging." He kissed my hand and we continued driving to my apartment.

36. Owen.

I needed to get myself in check. I had to make myself forget Amy and Lucas and all of that other c.r.a.p like p.r.o.nto. This was the first relationship I had been in since that whole ordeal and it was perfect except for the fact that I was letting doubts and the past and petty jealousy gnaw at me. It constantly p.r.i.c.kled my skin and tapped on my shoulder letting me know it was there. It was like a shadowy ghost that you could see from your peripheral and feel every second but when you faced it head on it vanished only to reappear in another corner. I couldn't rid myself of it.

We reached her apartment and if I was honest with myself and her, I needed some time alone to clear my head. At the same time she was the rea.s.surance I needed to get me through this. I put on my laundry to wash and she was showering. Her phone rang and alerted her to a text message and my caveman wanted to grab it and see who it was.

Who in the h.e.l.l had I become?

She came out and I went in behind her and took a long cold shower to make myself come down from my hill of stupidity. How could I ever doubt Nellie? How? I got out of the icy waterfall calmed down and out of my fury.

I walked into the bedroom and she checked her phone.

"I put your clothes in the dryer." She said as she punched b.u.t.tons.