"I don't need an excuse. If you ever come to work again dressed like you were this morning, women's liberation notwithstanding, I'll lay you down on the floor in my office!"

He was breathing heavily. Of course, so was she. Her arms were beside her head and she felt hot and trembly all over. She'd read in books that men touched women in the ways he'd touched her, but she hadn't understood what it felt like until now.

She moved experimentally. Her body still felt shocks of pleasure go through it with every movement. She shivered a little.

He watched her with indulgent amus.e.m.e.nt. He hadn't meant to let things go so far, but her shocked pleasure had made it impossible for him to stop. He enjoyed her fledgling responses to his lovemaking. He enjoyed all of her. It had been years since he'd indulged in anything remotely resembling this heavy petting. He found that his body still responded sharply to a woman's, and it pleased him that he wasn't completely dead from the neck down.He traced her face with his fingers, lightly touching, teasing. He sighed and eased down, stretching, before he pulled her completely against him and held her there, her bare b.r.e.a.s.t.s against his hair-roughened chest. His shirt was on the floor somewhere, along with his belt and her robe. They were both disheveled as h.e.l.l, and he didn't care.

His hand fumbled for the telephone. He lifted his head long enough to punch in numbers.

"Nurse Turner?" he murmured drowsily. "Call the hospital and tell them I'll be two hours late for rounds. I've got to have some sleep. They can reach me by my beeper. Yes. Thank you. She hasn't? Well, we'll start in two hours, I imagine she'll be back by then." He chuckled drowsily. "Oh, I think she'll get over it. I'm not easy to get along with when I haven't had any sleep. Yes, I will. Thanks."

He hung up and pulled a stunned, still drowsy Kitty closer. Seconds later, they were both asleep.

Used as he was to grabbing odd moments of sleep, Drew woke in a little over two hours, feeling an unfamiliar weight on his arm. He opened his eyes, turned over and stifled a gasp at what he saw.

Kitty was lying beside him, her firm, pretty210.211.

b.r.e.a.s.t.s bare, her glorious hair making a veil over the upper half of her body. She looked like a painting he'd once seen of a fairy, almost glowing, beautiful, vibrantly alive.

His hand lifted involuntarily and he touched her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, tracing their firm contours, delighting in their instant response. Even asleep, her body recognized him and lifted toward his searching fingers.

He groaned deep in his throat and moved again, tracing Kitty's warm, soft flesh with his mouth.

She stirred then and moaned breathlessly, lifting again.

Something was touching her. She felt wanted, beautiful, wanton. She cradled the dark head to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and moved sinuously, enjoying the unfamiliar warmth of Drew's hungry mouth against her bare flesh.

"G.o.d Almighty," he breathed roughly, leaning his forehead against her while he fought for control, "what am I doing?"

"Don't ask me," she whispered shakily, "I'm a novice myself." She laughed softly as she moved against the sheets. "But I wouldn't mind if you kept doing whatever it is."

He lifted his head with a heavy sigh and looked down at her. She met his eyes withcuriosity and drowsy pleasure. She smiled. Unthinking, uncaring, he smiled back.

His lean hands cradled her face. He bent, kissing her tenderly. "I have to make rounds," he whispered.

"I have to go to work," she whispered back.

His body moved restlessly against hers. He ached all over with desire. He could have her. He knew it without a word pa.s.sing between them. He was more than prepared, there would be no risk, none at all, of a child.

But what then? His mouth lifted from hers with reluctance. He searched her soft eyes for a long moment.

She could see him deliberating. Seconds later, she knew that he'd taken several mental steps away from her. Nothing else was going to happen. That iron control wasn't going to let him lose his head completely.

Her arms fell away from him and she lay there, just watching him, without speaking.

He rolled away from her and got up, shrugging into his shirt before he replaced his belt.

She watched him do these routine things with pleasure. She should have felt embarra.s.sed, she supposed, but she didn't. It occurred to her in that moment that she was in love with him.272.

213.His eyes slid to where she still lay on the bed and she tried not to let the possessiveness she felt for him show.

"Get dressed," he said quietly. "We both have work to do."

She didn't look at him as she sat up and replaced her slip. She got out of bed, pushing her hair back over her shoulders.

He took her by the shoulders, smoothing his hands over the soft, warm skin. "I won't lie and say that I didn't enjoy it," he said quietly. "I did. But it's still too soon for me," he added.

She looked up into his eyes, searching them quietly. "Was it me?"

"It was you, not a ghost," he replied, understanding the question. "You're very attractive, and I think you already know what effect that hair has on me. You saw it in the office, when I lost my temper. I was so afraid that you'd cut it before I could get here." He laughed flatly. "I think I'd have cut my own throat. It's glorious hair."

She pushed it away from her face. "Why were you so angry?" she asked belatedly.

"The night I proposed to Eve, she had her hair in a similar fashion and she was wearing a white lacy Spanish dress," he explained. "Iwasn't at all prepared for the way you were going to look in your new image."

"I see. I'm sorry," she said through her teeth.

"There's no need to apologize," he replied at once. "You look delightful, Kitty Cat," he teased softly. "Wear your hair like that anytime you please. I'll try to restrain my enthusiasm."

"Is that what it was?" she asked demurely.

He linked his hands behind her waist and pulled her close. "It was affection punctuated with the purest l.u.s.t I've ever felt," he replied, looking at her possessively. "I want you. I mean it. I'm not thinking of any other woman, either, when I touch you."

"But it makes you feel guilty."

His shoulders rose and fell. "Yes, it does. I loved Eve. I've never been able to let go of her memory." He looked her straight in the eye. "I never will. I loved her too much. I can offer you some pa.s.sionate kisses. I can sleep with you. G.o.d knows I want to. But that's all it would be," he added, trying to be honest with her. His hands contracted. "s.e.x wouldn't be enough."

Her eyes fell to his hair-roughened chest She wanted to touch him there, caress him, but214.215.

she didn't. He wanted her. But he still loved Eve. It was always going to be like that.

"We can be friends," he said. "Even intimate friends. I like you a h.e.l.l of a lot. You're good company and you aren't afraid to speak your mind."

She looked up. "Friends."

"Lovers, if you like," he added bluntly.

She managed a soft laugh. "With everyone in town knowing?"

"I'm afraid so. Your face is a dead giveaway right now."

"I suppose it is." She moved away from him, reaching to the floor to pick up her robe and wrap it around her. She felt cold.

He went to her, and tilted her face up to his. "I can't love you," he said shortly. "I can't offer you marriage."

"I know that." She tied the robe. "And I can't accept anything less." She moved away from him. "I want a husband and children."

He drew a long, sad breath. "I'm sorry."

"You can't help it. If I'd had someone that wonderful in my past, maybe I could settle for memories, too. I don't blame you." She turned to look at him. "But I'm only twenty-four and I have my whole life still ahead of me. I don't have any memories to live on."He stuck his hands into his pockets. "I guess not."

She took a deep breath and coughed, then grimaced. "The pollen count's terrible today," she murmured, searching in her purse for her inhaler. She kept them everywhere: one in the bedside table, one in her purse, one in the pocket of the jacket she wore on walks. It staved off attacks if she used it soon enough.

She did her s.p.a.ced inhalations and then sat down, breathing better. "I walked to work this morning," she murmured.

"Stupid."

She shrugged. "It was beautiful outside, and I love flowers," she said with a nostalgic smile. "Life isn't fair, is it? I used to keep a garden when I lived with Dad. It was hard on my lungs when everything was blooming, but I wore a mask and hoed right on."

"At least you don't mind using your medicine. I have patients who never fill the prescription."

"The same ones you have to see in the emergency room at two in the morning," she ventured.

He smiled. "Exactly."

He picked up the watch he'd laid on her bedside table and grimaced as he looked at it, shaking his head. "I'm really late."216.2/7.

"So am I."

He b.u.t.toned his shirt and put the watch back on, reaching for his jacket. He pulled out his comb and stopped in her bathroom long enough to put his hair back in its pristine condition.

"You need a shave," she murmured when he came out.

"Tell me about it. I was planning to have one when you walked into the office looking like Venus rising."

"You said to get my hair fixed and buy new clothes," she said pointedly.

"To attract Guy Fenton and Matt Cald-well," he shot back, scowling. "Not me!"

She wrapped her arms around her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. "Sorry."

He ran a hand through his thick hair, mussing it again. He couldn't bear to look at her. It made him hungry.

"I'll see you at the office. I told Nurse Turner that you were probably upset and might be late getting back. She knew that I'd upset you." He sighed deeply. "I'm sorry," he added. His eyes went to the bed and then back to her. "But I don't regret one minute of this."

Her arms tightened around herself. "Men never do," she murmured.He c.o.c.ked an eyebrow. "Would you like to explain that?"

"Not really." She walked toward the door.

He caught her hand before she could open the doork.n.o.b and turned her to face him. "You're still going to the ball with me," he said firmly.

"Are you sure you want me to?"

He nodded.

"All right, then."

His dark eyes slid over her body in the bathrobe, down to her pretty feet and back up to her flushed, sad face. "It's hard for me to remember that I'm a doctor sometimes. You have lovely b.r.e.a.s.t.s."

She flushed.

"Embarra.s.sed?" he asked softly, and moved even closer. "There's no need. I'm not going to tell a living soul what I know about your body. Ever," he added solemnly.

The flush got worse. She dropped her eyes to his chin. "I never did that before."

His chest rose and fell. He touched her long hair gently. "You're young enough to enjoy first times."

She met his eyes, worried. "You didn't enjoy it?" she blurted out.

His jaw tautened. His eyes glittered. "h.e.l.l,278.219.

yes, I enjoyed it," he said through his teeth. "Did you think your innocence didn't show?"

"You... laughed."

"Yes." He bent, brushing his mouth gently over her eyes. "It was so sweet when you convulsed, and I heard you cry out because the pleasure was so overwhelming. Your first time...and it was with me."

"It wasn't...your first time," she whispered.

"My first time was very much like yours," he whispered, smiling as he recalled it. "With an older girl who was too afraid of getting pregnant to let me go all the way. But it was sweet, just the same."

"Were you ashamed, afterward?"

"A little," he confessed. "I was brought up to believe that certain things only happened between married people."

"So was I." She wouldn't look up.

He tilted her face up to his. "You have a beautiful, innocent body. I did nothing to threaten your chast.i.ty."

"I know that. But it was so intimate," she emphasized.

"Yes." He kissed her forehead gently, feeling things inside himself that he'd forgotten he could. "Intimate.""I wouldn't, couldn't, let anyone else do that to me."

He put her away from him. "I'm going home to shave. You'd better have lunch and go to work. We're going to have a busy afternoon."

"I guess we are."

He started to open the door. His black eyes snared hers. She looked vulnerable, somehow. He didn't want to leave her like that.

"Don't beat your conscience to death, Kitty," he commanded.

"Won't you?" she asked bitterly.

He scowled. He didn't want to think about that It probably would. He shrugged, smiled faintly in her direction and left.

Kitty went back to work, pretending that nothing more than Drew's outburst of temper had affected her. Nurse Turner, knowing no better, accepted the explanation. But she noticed that Kitty had her hair bundled up again and that she was wearing the old nondescript clothes she'd always worn to work. Drew might be sorry for what he'd said, but Kitty wasn't taking chances.

He came back from making rounds at the hospital, glanced at her with strangely220.221.