I was drifting out.

When I woke the next morning, I was embarrassed by how late I had slept. I practically jumped out of the bed, washed and dressed. Holly and Billy had already opened the shop and were dealing with customers.

"I'm sorry I slept so late," I declared when the customers left.

"That's all right, honey," Holly said. "You must have been exhausted. Billy told me you two went for a walk," she added.

"I guess all the excitement of being in New York tired me out."

"I'll get her some breakfast," Billy called out as he headed for the kitchen.

"I hate being so much trouble."

"You're no trouble. After you have some breakfast, we'll go get your airline tickets," Holly said.

"Then, I'd like to show you some of New York. What would you like to see the most?"

"I don't know." My mind reeled with the possibilities, the things and places I had only read about and Alice and I had spoken about back in Sewell when the two of us planned a future trip together. What had once been a childhood fantasy was now a reality for me.

"I guess I'd like to see the Empire State Building and Broadway and the Statue of Liberty and the Museum of Natural History and . . ."

"There's only one day," Holly said, laughing.

"I'll show her most of that," Billy called from the kitchen. "Got some fruit, a bowl of multi-grain cereal, juice and coffee in here waiting on you, Melody."

"You'll show me?" I asked, not hiding my astonishment well. He and Holly looked at each other and then laughed.

"Billy gets around as well as anyone," Holly said. "He has a van with a lift and a specially engineered steering wheel."

"Gift from my parents," he said, and I thought, how strange that he had never mentioned them before.

"I can't take you away from the shop. I . ."

"What do you mean? I'm due a vacation anyway, aren't I, Holly?"

"More than one," Holly replied. "Better eat breakfast so you can get started," Holly said. "Go on,"

she urged. "Stop being a worrywart."

I laughed and went in to have my breakfast.

Afterward, Holly and I drove over to the travel agency where her friend worked and I picked up my airline tickets. Having them in my hand with the itinerary spelled out before me made me suddenly frightened.

Would I really get on that plane tomorrow and fly across the country to stay with people I didn't know and search one of the country's biggest cities for a mother who might not want to see me?

Billy had his van in front of the shop when we returned. He showed me how the lift worked and then took his place in the driver's seat. Holly waved good-bye as we drove off for my tour of New York, Billy looking as excited about it as I was.

"It's always fun to see familiar things through virgin eyes," he explained. "It helps one appreciate what one has more."

Seeing the Empire State Building in the distance was one thing, but to ride right up to it and look up was another.

"You want to go up?" Billy asked.

"Can we?"

"Of course. I'll pull into that parking garage there and we'll take the elevator. It's a beautiful day for it. We'll probably see into Canada."

"We will?"

"No," he said laughing.

"You probably think I'm a country bumpkin," I said, grimacing.

"Absolutely not, and what if you were? It would be refreshing and honest," he replied. Billy could turn anything negative into a positive, I thought.

How could anyone be so perfect?

Billy moved about the city as if it were just a small town no bigger than Sewell. The hordes of people, a veritable sea of bodies and faces moving up and down the sidewalks, the legions of cars, the noise and commotion seemed not to exist. He wheeled himself along barely noticing any of it, while my eyes raced back and forth, up and down, taking in everything.

The elevator ride to the observation deck of the Empire State Building was the most exciting I had ever taken, and when we stepped out and over to the railing, I thought we were literally on top of the world. I squealed with amazement. Billy laughed and gave me some change for the telescope through which I could see the Hudson River and clear across to New Jersey.

Afterward, we drove up to Broadway and past all the theater marquees, the great electric signs and through Times Square, a place I had seen only on television and read about in books. My heart pounded with excitement. I couldn't wait to write to Alice.

Billy decided we should have lunch in the world famous Chinatown, where he could get his favorite- vegetable to mein. While we were there, he bought me a beautiful hand-painted fan.

After lunch, we went out to the Statue of Liberty. The sky was still mostly blue and there was a warm breeze from New York Harbor. When we returned to shore, I realized Billy was more tired than he pretended and I told him it was time to go back to the shop, claiming I was tired myself. I wasn't. New York had a way of injecting its energy into me. The panorama of people, things to see and do was mesmerizing and helped me forget all my worries and troubles.

Back at the shop, the three of us sat and had some tea while I ranted on and on about the things we had done and seen. Afterward, Billy went into his room to meditate and Holly and I took care of the customers. I was fascinated with how much people were intrigued by her crystals and gems, how much they wanted to believe in the powers. All sorts of people came in to buy and inquire about the items: old as well as young, men and women alike. Some were frequent customers and many testified to the claims Holly made about her stones.

When Billy emerged from his room, he looked revived. Once again I offered to help him with dinner, but again he told me I was the guest and he enjoyed the preparations. After she closed the shop, Holly and I sat in the living room and relaxed while Billy made dinner. I told her about the poem he had read and the things he had said.

"He's a wonderful person. I'm happy he became my partner."

"He said his parents gave him the van, but he didn't mention any more about his family to me.

Where are they?"

Holly grimaced.

"They live upstate and they are quite happy he's not there, too. They don't accept his way of life now.

His father calls him a hippie."

"Oh, how sad."

"Billy isn't happy about it, but he's resigned and he accepts it."

"Does he have any brothers and sisters?"

"An older brother, an attorney. He sees him whenever he comes to New York; or, I should say, once in a while when he comes to New York. I don't think he calls every time. He wanted Billy to go home and live with their parents, but Billy won't be treated like some handicapped person, as you've probably already noticed."

"He's amazing," I said. "Inspirational."

Holly nodded. Then she turned a bit serious.

"I've been working on your charts, Melody,"

she said.

"Now that I know more about you and the events, and I can pinpoint things, I can get a clearer picture."

"And?"

"I don't think you're going to find what you want," she said gently. "Maybe you should turn around and return to the life you have, the people you know you can count on,"

It was like a clap of thunder above my head. I sucked in my breath and smiled.

"You know' 1 can't," I said softly and she nodded. "But after being with Billy and learning from him, I'm not as afraid as I was."

"That's good."

"I'm very grateful to you for what you've done for me. I don't know if I would have had the courage to do this if it weren't for you, Holly. Thank you."

She didn't smile.

"I hope I've done the right thing," she said.

I could only wonder what it was she saw in the stars that made her even doubt it.

It's better, I thought, not to ask.

2.

Innocence Lost.

Billy wheeled himself out to watch Holly and I get into her car the next morning. After I loaded in my luggage, I paused to say good-bye and he took my hand into his and looked deeply into my eyes.

"Often, most of the time, I should say, we feel like ships passing each other in the night," he said.

"We spend so little quality time with each other, barely getting to know each other, but I don't feel that way about you, Melody. You have been kind and trusting enough to open your heart to me. Thank you for sharing."

"Sharing? Sharing what?" I asked with a smile.

"My problems?"

"Your problems are part of who you really are, but you didn't just share your problems. I got to see your excitement. I was able to feel your energy and it's strengthened me."

I looked at him with astonishment. How could I strengthen anyone at the moment: me, trembling on the sidewalk, terrified of the journey ahead of me.

He leaned forward and removed the gold chain and unique locket he wore around his neck. Then he handed it to me.

"I'd like you to have this," he said. "This is a lapis lazuli. It helps release tension and anxiety, but more important, it will enhance your ability to communicate with your higher self. It has helped me a great deal."

"Then I shouldn't take it," I said.

"No, it's all right. I want you to have it. Please,"

he insisted.

I saw he wouldn't be satisfied until I accepted his gift, so I took it and put it on. He smiled.

"Thank you, Billy." I leaned down to kiss him on the cheek, which automatically turned crimson.

Then I hurried to the car.

"Mind the galaxy while I'm away," Holly called back to him. He laughed and waved as we drove away. I looked back and waved again until we rounded a corner and he disappeared from sight.

"It's funny. I haven't been here two full days, but I feel like I've known Billy for years and years," I said.

Holly nodded.

"That's the effect Billy has on everyone. I'm glad you had a chance to spend some time with him before you left for California," she added.

California! Just the way she said it and the way I thought about it made it seem like another planet. I sat with my knees together, my hands nervously twisting on my lap as we wove our way out of the city and toward the airport. Think of something pleasant, something calming, I told myself.

On the way to the airport, Holly described her sister in more detail, but admitted they hadn't seen each other for nearly a year.

"I won't go out there, and even when she comes here, I feel like I'm embarrassing her. She's seven years older, so there's nearly a generation between us, but deep down she's really very kindhearted."

"It's very nice of her to do all this for me, a complete stranger," I said, wondering just how deep was deep down.

"Dorothy loves being magnanimous. It makes her feel even more like a queen," Holly said, laughing.

"I have something for you to give her." She reached into her pocketbook to produce a small jewelry box wrapped in paper decorated with the ram, the sign for Aries, Dorothy's sign. "It's a bracelet filled with amethyst. The gems for the Aries are amethyst and diamond, but she has enough diamonds. You'll see."

"I'll make sure she gets it right away," I promised, tucking the tiny box away in my purse.

"Thanks. Well," she said as the airplane hangars came into view, "we're almost there."

My heart thumped like a parade drum at the sight of all the cars, the limousines and buses, people scurrying everywhere and skycaps loading luggage.