"That Adam Jackson better watch his step or Cary's going to make him fish bait," she said.

"He'll only get himself into more trouble and it's all my fault," I wailed. I plopped into my seat just as the bell rang. The sea of chatter flowed out of the cafeteria with the students. The teachers in the afternoon classes would have a hard time keeping their attention today, I thought. I waited until most everyone was out before getting up to follow. Theresa lingered behind with me.

"What will they do to him?"

"Probably suspend him again," she said.

I felt just dreadful. I sat half dead in my seat in all my classes, barely listening, never answering a question. I couldn't wait for the day to end, and when it did, I found Cary waiting for me outside, his hands in his pockets, his head down, pacing back and forth like a caged animal. The moment he saw me, he perked up.

"You all right?" he asked quickly.

"Yes, but what happened?"

"I got two days vacation," he said.

"Oh Cary, near the end of the year when you need the review for your tests? This is horrible."

"It doesn't matter," he said.

"Yes it does. I'm not going to let the principal do this to you. It's not fair. He should see the nasty notes that were passed around."

"He saw them. It didn't make any difference.

He told me I didn't have a right to lose my temper and take things into my own hands."

"He's right," I said.

"I told him it hadn't happened to his family so he could say that."

"What did he say?" I asked, shocked at his courage.

"He stuttered a bit and then said that wasn't the point. But don't worry. I'll walk you to school anyway and be here for you afterward and if Adam Jackson or anyone bothers you-"

"I won't tell you," I said. "You'd . . . you'd turn them into fish bait," I declared, using Theresa's language. He nodded, pleased with the description.

"Exactly, and they know it."

We started away.

"I appreciate your protecting me, Cary, but I hate to see you get into trouble."

I saw a smile take form on his lips.

"How can you be happy?" I asked him.

"This is the way it used to be between me and Laura," he said softly. Then he lost his smile. "Until Robert stepped into her life."

I said nothing. We walked on, each chased by troubled thoughts.

Cary didn't have to tell Aunt Sara and Uncle Jacob what had happened at school. The principal had called and told Aunt Sara before we returned home.

Uncle Jacob was still down at the dock and didn't know yet, however, and Aunt Sara was visibly shaken just with the thought of what would happen once he found out. She wrung her hands and shook her head in despair.

"Don't worry, Ma. tell him myself. I'll go down to the dock now," Cary said.

"How did this happen, Cary? You haven't been in any trouble for a long time, and it's so close to graduation."

I was about to take the blame, but Cary spoke first. "This boy was saying ugly, disgusting things about us and our family around the school, Ma. I did what I had to do."

"Why was he doing that?"

"Because he's a shark who needs to be harpooned, and that's all there is to say." Cary glared at me with eyes of warning.

"Oh Melody, was it dreadful for you, too?"

"Yes, Aunt Sara. I'm sorry Cary's in trouble, but the other boy was at fault."

She sighed.

"What are we going to do? All this happens on the day we're going to your grandparents for dinner.

Don't mention anything about this to them," she told us fearfully.

"I won't if you won't," Cary promised. He winked at me and went up to change his clothes.

May, who had learned only bits and pieces about everything, was desperate to know what had caused all the commotion. Neither Cary nor I had told her much on the way home since neither of us was in the mood to talk. I explained it to her as best I could, leaving out the nasty details of the rumors.

She signed back that she was sorry Cary was in trouble again. It had always made Laura sad and it made her sadder still, she said. In her large, shadowed brown eyes lingered more dark secrets and sufferings than a child her age should know, I thought. And with her handicap, most of them remained trapped in her heart.

"Go up and try on your dress for tonight," Aunt Sara told me in a tired, defeated voice. "We have to do our best under the circumstances."

"Yes, Aunt Sara."

She followed me upstairs. The dress hung with a slip on the closet door. On the floor beneath them was a brand new pair of shoes she had bought to match the dress, since Laura's shoes wouldn't fit me.

"Aunt Sara, you shouldn't have done that. I could have worn something that would match my own shoes."

"No, this was the last dress I made for Laura,"

she explained. "She never got a chance to wear it."

I looked at the dress with different eyes. It took on a strangely spiritual feel, like the dress of a ghost.

It was an ankle-length, straight beige silk dress with a Victorian collar that had a lace neck.

"Besides," Aunt Sara said, "we're all going to dress with extra care tonight. Olivia and Samuel are having Judge Childs as their guest. She called especially to tell me so we would all look our best. He was a state supreme court judge, you know. He's retired now, but maybe you've heard of his son, the artist Kenneth Childs."

"No." I shook my head and stared at the dress. I could almost see Laura in it.

"I just thought you might have, because you've been here a while and he's one of our most prominent sculptors. His work is in the Provincetown Artists muse-um and it's in all the good galleries."

I shook my head.

"The Childs have always been good friends with Olivia and Samuel. Kenneth practically grew up with Chester and Jacob, he was at their house so much. Judge Childs's wife died two years ago. His other sons and daughter all live in Boston. Kenneth's brothers and sister don't have much to do with him, but Kenneth was the judge's favorite even though he didn't do anything with his law degree. The judge and his wife gave him enough money to do his art. They supported him for a quite a while and there are some hard feelings in the family because of it. Jealousy, I imagine."

She sighed deeply.

"Every family has its hardships. I wanted you to know a little about it so you don't say anything out of place, if the judge asks you a question."

"Why are we always on pins and needles when we go to my grandparents', Aunt Sara?" I asked. It seemed to me that time spent with family should be the most relaxing time of all.

"Oh, we're not on pins and needles. We're just trying to do the right thing, say the right thing, look the right way. It's what-"

"What Grandma Olivia wants," I provided. "I'm surprised she has any friends at all."

"But she does! She has many friends and they all come from the best society."

"That doesn't always mean they're the best friends to have, Aunt Sara."

She smiled as if I had said something only the most inexperienced young person might utter.

"Go on, dear, try on your dress. I want to be sure it fits and there's no need for alterations," she urged.

Betty, Lorraine, and Janet's words haunted me as I took the dress down and began to take off my clothes. "We heard you're taking Laura's place in more ways than one." But what else could I do? I had nothing nicer than this to wear. Of course, none of my other things had arrived.

The dress fit a little snugly in the bosom, but other than that, it was perfect.

"I think we can get by with it as it is," Aunt Sara said, scrutinizing me, "How does it feel?"

"It's fine, Aunt Sara."

"Good, and the shoes?"

"They're fine," I said.

"Then you're all set. I'll see to May. We'll be going about five," she told me.

After she left, I stood there gazing at myself in the mirror. It was a nice dress-beautiful in fact-and at any other time, under any other circumstances, I would be happy to wear it, but right now it seemed as if I were wearing a shroud. I couldn't shake an eerie feeling.

The more I learned about Laura, the more I touched her things, read her letters, wore her clothes, the more I felt I was disturbing her peace and stirring up things better left uncovered, buried at the bottom of the sea along with her and her lover.

I was dressed, my hair brushed, and ready. Cary and Uncle Jacob had yet to return from the dock. May looked very pretty in her pink taffeta dress with matching shoes. She and I sat in the living room waiting while Aunt Sara paced nervously in the hallway. "Where are they? They have to get ready and we're going to be late."

I couldn't help wondering if something terrible had happened after Cary told his father about his being suspended. Finally, the door opened and the two entered. Cary gazed into the living room and then ran up the stairs without a word.

Uncle Jacob paused and peered in at us. He fixed his eyes on me and nodded. "I knew it wouldn't take you long to get him in trouble," he said.

"It wasn't her fault, Jacob," Aunt Sara responded. "It was that nasty Adam Jackson's fault."

"I warned you," he told her. "I warned you what it would be like having Haille's daughter."

I shot up as if I were sitting on an ant hill.

"Why do you keep saying that? What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"Ask your mother next time she calls," he said.

He looked at Aunt Sara. "I got to clean up and get dressed. No time for this nonsense now." He started up the stairs.

"Why does he keep saying that, Aunt Sara? I have to know what he means."

She shook her head, pressing her lips together as if she were afraid the words would escape.

"I'm not going anywhere until I get some answers," I insisted.

"Oh dear, oh dear. Why does all this have to happen before we go to Olivia and Samuel's?" She sat on the sofa and started to cry. May ran to her to hug her. I felt just terrible as she sobbed and May stroked her hair lovingly, concerned. "You look so beautiful in that dress, too," she wailed. "What have we done to deserve this? What have we done?"

May looked up, confused, hurt, tears building in her soft eyes. All I seemed capable of doing was hurting everyone.

"All right, Aunt Sara. I'm sorry. I'll go."

She sucked back her tears and dabbed her cheeks with her handkerchief. Then she smiled.

"It's going to be all right," she said. "Once everyone gets to know you better, it will be fine. Look how nice Laura's dress looks on you. That's no coincidence. It's an omen, a good omen. Jacob will realize it, too. Fishermen are very aware of good and bad omens. You'll see."

I just stared. She sighed and patted May's hair.

"My pretty little seashell," she said, kissing her daughter. She held her to herself and rocked for a moment. "We all deserve some happiness now, dear.

Don't we?"

"Yes, Aunt Sara," I answered.

"Then it's settled. We'll all be happy," she said.

It was as if she believed words themselves could change the world around us.

She left to wash her face and straighten her hair. May sat beside me and we looked at one of her books together. Cary came down the stairs and stood in the doorway. he was dressed in a blue suit and tie and looked very handsome.

"You look nice," I said.

"I feel as if I'm in a strait jacket." He tugged on his shirt collar. "I hate wearing a tie. I feel like . . ."

"A fish out of water," I suggested.

"Aye. I'm going outside to wait," he said. "It's my favorite time of day."

"Okay, we'll come along." I signed to May and she closed her book and followed, taking my hand.