Uncle Jacob had eaten his breakfast and left by the time May, Cary, and I went downstairs the next morning. I decided to wear Laura's yellow dress, and when Cary saw me in the hallway, he said I looked very nice.

"It's not going to rain, is it?" I asked him.

"No. It's going to be a nice day and a pretty nice night," he told me. I breathed relief and felt a tingle of the excitement of anticipation.

Downstairs, Aunt Sara was frenzied. Grandma Olivia had called last night and told her the dinner would be tomorrow night. Apparently, from the way she spoke, I understood that dinner at my grandparents' house wasn't merely dinner, it was an elaborate affair. There would be someone else there, some highly respected member of the community. We would all have to be on our very best behavior, be well dressed, and be more polite than the Queen of England.

"Don't forget Grandpa wants to hear Melody play her fiddle," Cary teased. Aunt Sara gasped and gazed at me with abject terror in her eyes.

"Oh, I don't think he meant this particular dinner," she said in a voice just above a whisper.

"Sure he did," Cary continued, deliberately raising his own voice. "We all heard him, Ma."

Aunt Sara shook her head. "But Olivia didn't .

"It's all right. I don't want to bring my fiddle anyway," I said.

"Grandpa's going to be disappointed," Cary warned. "He might just send you back for it. Why don't you bring it along and leave it in the car, just in case," he pursued.

Aunt Sara shook her head again, this time more emphatically. "Jacob might be upset. I don't know if-- ".

"I'm not bringing it along, Aunt Sara. Stop worrying," I declared firmly. I gazed at Cary, whose green eyes sparkled with mischief.

May wanted to know what we were all talking about so intensely. Cary signed and explained, mimicking my playing the fiddle. Her eyes lit up with encouragement.

"See, Ma, even May wants her to bring it along, and she can't even hear."

"Oh dear," Aunt Sara said, wringing her hands.

"Stop it," I told him sharply. "You're going to get me into trouble."

With a tiny smile on his face, he finished eating his breakfast quietly. On the way to school, I chastised him. "You shouldn't tease your mother that way, Cary Logan."

"I wasn't teasing. I'd like you to play your fiddle, too. It will spice up the dinner party. I've been to enough of them at Grandma's to know what to expect. They could use some excitement."

"Well under the circumstances, I'm not feeling much like fiddling. It only reminds me of my daddy and Grandma Olivia's house is no place to be thinking about him," I said bitterly.

Cary's impish grin faded. "Maybe if they heard you play and learned more about your father after he and Haille left here, they'd be more inclined to feel sorry about things, too," he offered.

"They should feel sorry! My daddy's gone and the damage that was done is done forever and ever."

Cary was silent. The subject sank deeply in the pool of our thoughts. We dropped May at her school and continued to our own, reviewing the material Cary would have on his English test. As soon as Cary and I arrived at school, we split up. Fortunately, he didn't hear the girls heckle me when I went to my locker. I'm sure he would have become very angry.

"We missed you Saturday night," Janet said.

"Too busy darning socks or something?"

"Or did you have to make cranberry muffins?"

Lorraine asked.

"I tried to come," I told her. Betty closed in beside her and Janet to listen to my explanation. "But my uncle wouldn't let me go."

"We told you he wouldn't. We told you to lie,"

Betty said. "But you're just like Laura, aren't you?

You're too goody-goody to have any real fun. It must run in the family or something-Grandpa, Laura and now you. I bet the mute is the same."

"She's not a mute," I snapped, my face filling with blood so fast I thought I would blow the top of my head off. "She's deaf, but she can talk."

"I've heard her talk. Who could understand that?" Betty said. The others agreed.

"If you take the time, you can understand her.

She's a bright, sweet little girl."

"Right. Anyway, we all had a good time. A certain boy was heartbroken that you weren't there,"

Lorraine said, a twisted smile on her lips.

As if on cue, Adam sauntered down the corridor and paused when he reached us. All three of the witches from Macbeth fluttered their eyelashes and beamed their most seductive smiles, but his eyes were on me.

"Good morning, girls. Exchanging feminine secrets or can I listen in?" he asked with that beguiling smile. Even early in the morning, he looked perfect enough to have just walked out of an aftershave advertisement in a men's magazine.

"We were just telling Melody about what a great beach party she missed," Janet said.

"That's right. It was a great party," he agreed, his eyes still fixed on me.

"Debbie McKay certainly had a good time,"

Betty said. "Didn't she, Adam?"

"You'll have to ask her," he replied with a nonchalance that made the three giggle.

"I'm sure we'll find out," Lorraine said.

"Debbie's the kind who kisses and tells. See you later, Melody," she sang.

"Yeah, see you later," Betty echoed. The three walked off, leaving me with Adam.

"Now you know why I want you to keep the things between us secret," he said looking after them.

"The gossipmongers around here work overtime. I'll walk you to homeroom," he offered when I closed my locker. "Everything else all right? You didn't get into trouble after our ride yesterday, did you?"

"No," I said.

"Good."

I noticed everyone's interest as we continued down the corridor. Even Mrs. Cranshaw, the librarian, peered at us over her thick lenses.

"I really had a good time with you," Adam said softly. "Did you like it, too?"

"Yes, I did."

"Good. Until eight o'clock," he whispered at the homeroom door. "Don't disappoint me." He squeezed my hand and walked away.

My heart pounded. Was I really going to meet him? Did I have the courage? His lips had the lure of forbidden fruit, but oh, how luscious, ripe, and delicious was the promise they had left on my own when he held me in his arms and kissed me. I sighed.

When I turned to go into the classroom, I saw each and every girl was looking my way. All looked curious, many looked envious.

"That didn't take long," Theresa Patterson said coming up behind me as I walked to my desk.

"Pardon?"

"For Adam Jackson to find a new fish," she muttered, walking by.

The girls in this school, I thought, gave the word catty a new meaning. Adam wasn't wrong about that. Cary had told me much the same thing.

I didn't see my cousin until lunch time in the cafeteria. When I did, he looked very excited and happy. He had taken his English test and for the first time, he felt confident of the results afterward.

"Every time I considered an answer, I could hear your voice, your advice. It didn't seem as hard as I thought it would be."

"Good," I said. I looked past him toward the cafeteria's entrance, hoping to spot Adam. I expected he would want to sit with me, but when he came in, he was with some boys and they all went to a table on the right. He gazed my way and smiled. He looked as if he were holding court. Cary saw the direction of my interest and my expression of disappointment.

"Thanks for your help," he said dryly and started away.

"Cary," I called. He turned. "Mind if I sit with you? I'd rather skip my new girl friends for the moment."

I could see they had a place open for me at their table, but it would have been like delivering myself to the Spanish Inquisition, torture chamber and all.

Cary shrugged and looked in Adam's direction.

"Suit yourself," he said. "It won't be the most exciting table, though." I followed anyway and he introduced me to two of his friends, Billy Beedsly and John Taylor. Their families were also in the lobster and fish business. They asked me a lot of questions about coal mines, but they were frustrated by my limited knowledge of the industry.

"My father was stuck down in the shafts, locked away from sunlight and air, and I hated thinking about it. He didn't like talking about it much either."

"Why did he do it then?" Billy asked. Cary and I exchanged knowing looks.

"It was the best work for the money at the time," I offered and then Cary managed to change the subject. At the end of the day, Cary eagerly waited for me, a wide, satisfied grin on his face.

"I wasn't sure you were going straight home,"

he said, obviously pleased that I was alone.

"I am. You look as if you have a secret."

"Oh, I do," he said starting away quickly. I had to walk fast to catch up.

"Well, what is it?"

"Nothing much."

"Cary Logan." I seized him by the elbow and spun him around. "Tell me this moment."

"Mr. Madeo stapped me in the hall as I was on my way out of the building to tell me he corrected the English tests already. I got a ninety-eight! He wanted to congratulate me and ask me how I had done it. I told him I had a great tutor and he said, 'Don't stop working with her.- "Oh Cary. Ninety-eight!"

"It's the best test grade I ever got!" he exclaimed. "See. You can do it if you want to."

He shrugged. "Thanks to you. Anyway, I decided you were right. I have to learn how to talk properly and be educated if I'm going to be a businessman," He was grinning from ear to ear.

"Congratulations. I'm so happy for you."

"Let's celebrate," he said. "Let's do something special tonight after dinner. I"ll take you to town for custard."

My heart sank into my stomach. He saw the expression plain as day on my face.

"What?" he asked.

"I already made a promise to someone," I said.

He nodded. "Okay," he said and walked ahead.

"Maybe tomorrow night," I offered, running to catch up.

"Sure," he said. "But let's wait and see. You might have made another promise by then." He shut up like a turtle, his shoulders rising, his neck sinking.

It made me feel sick inside. I realized how much it must have taken for him to reveal his feelings to me.

Since Laura's death, he was all clammed up.

I felt pinched by contradictory emotions. They were like scissors cutting me in half. One part of me was full of excitement-counting the minutes to my rendezvous with Adam-while another part of me longed to share Cary's elation and be part of his return to trust, to hope, to a world where there were sunshine and stars and not the gloom of his tragic memories.

Just for tonight, I thought, I wished I could duplicate myself and be in two places at once.

But I couldn't, and there just wasn't anything to do about it but feel sorry.

Cary walked ahead of me all the way to May's school. When he saw her run to me, he just kept walking. "See that she gets home all right," he called behind himself.

"We're coming. Wait up!" I cried.

But he didn't slow down and May was full of questions and stories. I had to watch him round the bend and disappear, his shoulders still scrunched up, making him look like an old man. It brought tears to my eyes, but I held them back and put on my best smile for May, who chatted away with her hands all the way home.

Cary remained down at the dock with Uncle Jacob until just before dinner. As usual, I helped Aunt Sara prepare the meal, but right before Uncle Jacob and Cary returned, the phone rang. Aunt Sara answered it and called out to me excitedly.

"It's your mother, dear!"