"I do. You can lie to yourself all you like, but I see the truth. You need me, and I'm not going to let you go."

He held up his hands and continued to back up. "Stay away from me. I mean it."

"If you leave, I'll find you."

"I go places way too dangerous for you."

"I'll still follow."

"I don't believe you."

Nika stood her ground. This was too important to let go. "Try me."

Chapter 6.

Madoc didn't dare risk that Nika would follow through on her threat. He was still going to leave, but not until Andra knew the score. He'd make sure Andra kept her locked up nice and tight, where nothing could hurt her.

Something dark is growing inside you.

How could she know that? How could she see it?

Maybe the better question was, how could everyone else not see it?

Madoc reached for his cell phone, only to realize it was lying in pieces at the bottom of a garbage disposal in Nebraska. Fortunately, his freakish memory allowed him to have memorized every phone number he ever saw.

He went to the phone hanging on the wall in the kitchen and dialed Paul's cell phone. No answer. He dialed Andra with the same results, refusing to leave a message.

"They're gone," said Nika. She'd curled up on the couch, tucking her legs under her. Her pale hair fell just to her shoulders, sliding along the slim column of her throat.

She was heavier now than she had been months ago, her skin less pale. The distance he'd put between them had clearly been good for her. She'd filled out, was no longer a walking skeleton, and seemed lucid and healthy.

If he didn't get away from her soon, he'd do something to f.u.c.k that up and she'd be stark raving mad again before he could stop himself from making the mistake.

"Where did they go?" he asked.

"Check on the fridge. Andra always leaves me a note."

Madoc hadn't noticed the note before, but he found it, read it, and wanted to pound his fist into the stainless steel. "A little girl went missing last night in Ohio. Andra had to leave immediately to find her."

Nika nodded. "This happens all the time. I doubt we'll see her or Paul for a day or two."

Too long. That was way too long to stick around. He was going to have to find her another babysitter. "Who watches you when they're away?"

Her body stiffened in indignation. "No one. I am an adult."

"What about Grace?"

"She hasn't needed to take care of me for months. I'm better now, Madoc. Certainly well enough to take care of myself."

"So I keep hearing."

"Maybe you should listen."

Not likely. He'd seen what happened when Andra wasn't arounda"what that Theronai had done to her. The ice pack he'd made her covered the angry red blisters that f.u.c.ker had left on her arm, but he still knew they were there.

He started forward, intending to lift the towel and check the damage, when he caught himself and stopped in his tracks. He was the last person on the face of the planet who should play nursemaid.

"I'm going to go talk to Joseph."

"Talk to him all you like. It won't change a thing. He can't make me stay here any more than you can. I'll go where I want, when I want. I have a lot of living to catch up on after all those years in the mental hospital."

"You're not going to catch up on anything if you get yourself killed."

"Then I die, but I'll do it living life my way. I deserve to make my own choices." She rose from the couch, yawning and stretching. The top of her shirt pulled up, exposing a narrow band of skin above her jeans.

Madoc's eyes were riveted to the sight. A faint shadow slid down the center of her stomach, deepening as it reached her navel. Her pants were loose on her hips, and he was sure that if he gave them the slightest tug, they'd go down without a fight, baring her so he could touch and taste. His mouth started to water and his hands lifted toward her before he realized what he was doing. He knew without a doubt that if he touched her, he'd lose control. He'd strip her naked, lay her out, and take her before anyone even had time to respond to her screams for help. For all he knew, people were used to her screaming delusions and wouldn't even bother to respond. He'd have all the time he needed to slake his l.u.s.t and ease some of the pressure throbbing inside him.

The idea had way too much appeal, and part of him began calculating his odds of getting away with it. To h.e.l.l with his honor. What good was it, anyway? It sure wasn't going to ease his pain, save his life, or keep his soul from dying.

A line of sweat broke out along his brow as he fought to remember what Iain had told him when he joined the Band of the Barren. Pretend to be n.o.ble. Pretend you give a s.h.i.t. It's the only way to keep from being sent to the Slayers.

Would someone who was n.o.ble be figuring out how long it would take to get her naked? Would he be thinking about whether her screams for help would be answered before he could get off inside her?

The cold, dead spot where the last leaf of his lifemark hung on his skin seemed to buzz in irritation.

Maybe he should just rip the black ring Iain had given hima"the one that slowed his soul's deatha"from his finger, and let the end come. He was so sick of fighting it, sick of keeping up with all the lies.

Iain had told him it wouldn't be easy, but he'd been pretending to be one of the good guys for years, and no one knew except those he'd recruited into the Band. He'd fooled everyone.

Maybe Madoc just wasn't cut out for this playacting s.h.i.t. He was a walking menace to everyone around him.

Her voice barely filtered through the l.u.s.t and anger pounding in his system. "Talk to Joseph if you want. Hunt down Andra. Do whatever it is you think you need to do. I'm too tired to stop you and not interested in wasting my energy. I need to rest up."

"For what?"

"For when I leave my body to find Tori. I'm going to try to talk to her again after I've slept."

Leave her body? h.e.l.l, no. "You're not going to do that thing againa"that thing you did in the graveyard."

"It's cute you think you can stop me. Feel free to stay if you like and watch over my body."

Yeah, right. He knew exactly what he'd do to her if that happened. His d.i.c.k was hard already, just thinking about it. "Not a smart idea," was all he could manage to choke out.

Nika gave him a sad smile. "Then go. I need to sleep."

Sleep. That was a good thing for her to do. Safe. So much better than leaving her bodya"however the h.e.l.l that happened.

She moved toward him. Madoc moved out of her way. She shook her head in irritation as she pa.s.sed him to throw the wet towel into the sink. "You really are afraid of me."

"I'm afraid for you. There's a difference." One he'd have to go into graphic detail to explain to her, so he really hoped she didn't start asking questions.

He should have f.u.c.ked a wh.o.r.e before coming back here, like he'd planned, but the notion of Nika on the road alone had nagged at him, forcing him to follow in her wake in case her car ran out of gas or she got arrested for driving without a license.

Besides, no matter how many times he used a hooker, the pain would always come back. Relief was fleeting and tainted by the knowledge that the pain would return for him at any moment. Fearing that pain was sometimes worse than suffering through it. The best he could hope for was a distraction, and Nika certainly provided that.

"Go, Madoc. I'm tired of making you squirm. Just leave."

He'd hurt her feelings. He could hear it in her voice. He wanted to be sorry, and maybe part of him was, but the smarter part knew that if she hated him, she'd be a lot safer, so he walked out without bothering to offer an apology.

The farther away from her he got, the better off they'd both be.

Then why the h.e.l.l wasn't he walking to his truck? Why was he headed back to his suite, where he planned to stay until he knew she was well guarded?

Leaving her body? Was she nuts?

A grim laugh rumbled in his chest. Of course she was nuts. That was the whole problem. She wasn't sane enough to leave alone, and she wasn't sane enough to stay away from him.

Clearly, he was crazy, too, because somewhere deep down, a part of him thought he could actually help her rather than just make things worse. If that didn't make him certifiable, he didn't know what would.

As exhausted as Nika was, she couldn't sleep. The pull of the monsters on her mind was weaker during the day, but there were a few Synestryn presences inside her that were strong enough to make themselves known even while the sun burned overhead. Usually, they didn't bother her, but she could feel one rousing from its sleep, poking at her, tentatively looking for weaknesses.

She tried to shut it out, put up her barriers, and sleep, but every time she closed her eyes, she saw the twisting, malignant darkness growing inside Madoc.

It hadn't been there the last time she saw hima"at least not like this. Something was wrong and he was hiding it, even from her.

It was killing him.

She wasn't going to get any rest until she figured out what it was, and she really needed her rest if she was going to find Tori. The farther away she was from someone, the harder it became to find them as well as find her way back to her body. She didn't want to locate her sister only to find that she couldn't get back into her body and do anything with the information.

Besides, she worried that if she didn't make it back, her body would slip away and she'd be left to roam around, unseen and insubstantial, for eternity. The thought scared her almost as much as having her mind ripped apart by demons again.

Nika's grasp on reality was stronger now than it had been since the attack. She wasn't going to do anything to mess that up. Sleep was mandatory, and she knew the one person who could hold the Synestryn at bay long enough for her to get it.

She pulled her weary body from the bed, went to Madoc's quarters, and knocked on the door.

"Go away," came his gruff reply.

"Let me in."

"Not gonna happen. Go home."

Nika tried the door. It was locked, but she guessed that Nick or someone else was watching through the security cameras that covered every inch of the hallways. She went to the nearest one, looked into it, and said, "Open Madoc's door."

She had no idea if anyone heard or saw her, but when she got back to the door and saw the light turn green, she knew someone up there was watching.

The door opened two inches before Madoc's hand slammed against it and pushed it closed again. The light turned red.

"I'm going to kill Nicholas," growled Madoc.

"I need to see you."

Silence greeted her.

"Fine," she yelled through the door. "I'll just sit out here until you decide to let me in."

She heard something heavy being moved across the floor, then thud against the door. No more unlocked doors for her.

The rejection stung, but that was just too bad. Time to get over it already. She'd wait as long as it took. He had to come out sometime.

Nika put her back to the door and slid down to sit against it. The chilly air surrounded her, sliding easily through her thin cotton nightgown. She wished she'd thought to throw some clothes on before she came here, or at least a robe. Chances were that if she left now, Madoc would escape, jump in his truck, and it would be another seven months before she saw him again.

She feared that by that time, whatever it was that was growing inside him would consume him and there'd be nothing left of her Madoc.

Her Madoc. Nika snorted at that. He was no more hers than the moon was. She could enjoy being in its presence, but it was too far away to touch, always distant and cold.

At least when she was this close to him, she felt safe.

Fatigue pulled at her until she gave in and lay down, curled up in front of his door. If he left, she'd wake, and in the meantime, his presence nearby would guard her dreams and fight any Synestryn that dared to invade her mind while she slept.

Nika haunted him.

Madoc could not get her out of his mind. Part of him wanted to cradle her and hold her close, protecting her from the world's evils, but the rest of him wanted her writhing on his c.o.c.k, screaming out her pleasure while he pounded into her.

He had no idea why he couldn't get her out of his minda"why one crazy woman had the ability to tie him up so completely, knotting his insides until the s.p.a.ce between taking her and protecting her seemed too small a thing to care about.

Madoc lay on his bed, his erection rising from his naked body, throbbing in time with his pulse. He wrapped his fingers around himself as he imagined Nika sliding down his body, taking his c.o.c.k in her mouth. Her white hair slid forward, tickling his thighs, while her big blue eyes stared up at him as she sucked him.

His phone rang, jerking him from his fantasy.

"What?" he snarled into the receiver.

"Nika's asleep outside your door," said Nicholas.

"Don't care." It was a huge lie, but one he was going to stand by.

"You need to let her in or take her back to her suite. You can't leave her lying out there with strangers who want to paw at her roaming the halls."

"Not interested. Do it yourself."

Nicholas's voice rose in irritation. "Anyone could come by."

"You can keep an eye out for her. It's not my job."