"You've got a deal." I meant it whole-heartedly. I just didn't expect him to seal our deal with a kiss. It was brief, the kind of first kiss I'd expect from somebody standing in a parking lot with people coming and going. But brief didn't mean that it wasn't also mighty fine. Playing back that kiss in my head had me grinning like a fool the rest of the day.

Christmas Eve services at Conejo Community Chapel fulfilled all my expectations. I hadn't been here last year for this season and this year I was more than ready for Christmas to come. For a lot of reasons I avoided the kid-heavy services early in the evening, although watching six-year-olds go off like skyrockets from Christmas excitement did have its appeal. Tonight I wanted something a little more quiet and thoughtful.

For me the most meaningful service at Christmas is held late at night, with carols and candlelight, so that's the one I chose. My memories of Granny Jo's church in Missouri make me want peace at Christmas and maybe a dusting of snow. Actually, I'm fine without the snow as long as I get the peace.

Before setting out for church I'd talked to Ben. It must have been midnight in Memphis when he called, but it didn't surprise me he was up and wanted to talk. We'd e-mailed and instant messaged back and forth more than once, but hadn't really talked to each other since he left California. "So how's the weather? Did you get a white Christmas?"

"Only if you count ice storms. It's really cool to drive on if you're in a parking lot, though. Dad's SUV can do donuts like you wouldn't believe." There was a pause while Ben considered what he'd just told me. "We were all wearing our seat belts, though."

Great. As if that was supposed to calm me down a whole bunch. Still, it was Christmas and I wasn't going to nag at him. "So, how is the somebody Dad wanted you to meet?"

"Okay. I think she's awful young for him. She might be thirty, maybe, but not any older. And I hate to tell you this, but he gave her a ring tonight at dinner."

Oh, boy. Hal had gone through several semi-serious relationships since our divorce over fifteen years ago, but never remarried. "Wow. Sounds like big stuff."

"But wait, there's more." Ben sounded like those awful pitchmen on late-night TV. "How would you feel about Dad moving to California?"

"Where in California?" It's a big state. There might be room for both of us given enough distance.

"Hmm. Where would somebody live who was going to UC-Santa Barbara? I think that's where Nicole said her school program is."

"Santa Barbara?" I tried not to sound as ill as I suddenly felt. "That's only forty miles north of here." And housing prices there meant I could look forward to being in the same county with my ex-husband and his beautiful, young fiancee. I knew Hal well enough to know that not only would she be young, but she'd be beautiful as well. He wouldn't have things any other way.

My first thoughts were unpleasant, but I held my tongue. Again, this was Christmas and I was talking to my son. For him this might be good news, having his parents close enough that visiting Dad didn't mean a cross-country flight.

"So how's Cai Li?" It felt like time to change the subject.

"Okay. Did you already go to church tonight?"

"Not yet," I told him, wondering if that was the right answer or not.

It must have been. "Great. Tell her hi for me. The praise band is doing some stuff at the eleven o'clock service. I guess if you're going to that one I better let you go." We talked a short while longer and I even got expressions of love out of my son. Once I hung up I realized we hadn't talked about his ratty goatee. But then if Hal had given somebody a ring on Christmas Eve, Grandma Lillian probably had enough to deal with that she might not be paying that much attention to Ben's face.

The Morgans' house was dimly lit when I drove past on my way to church. I knew that the family, including Candace, had gone to an earlier service. Dot had stopped by afterward to tell me that she'd heard through the grapevine that Matt was out of critical care and alert enough to talk to the police, which probably meant Ray. Matt wasn't out of the woods yet, but the doctors thought that he probably wouldn't have a lot of lasting damage from the skull fracture Tracy Collins had inflicted on him. It was the best news we could expect at this point.

Stars twinkled in the clear sky above Rancho Conejo and the air had just enough bite to make it feel almost like Christmas at home. The difference was that by ten o'clock tomorrow morning I wouldn't need a coat and an ice sc.r.a.per for my windshield. Knowing that, it was good to walk through the church parking lot, watching my breath make a cloud when I exhaled.

Inside the church the smell of evergreen filled the sanctuary. Lots of people had gotten here ahead of me. I made my way to the front first for a quick h.e.l.lo to Cai Li. She gave me an enthusiastic hug before I headed back to look for a seat in the empty spots of the back rows. Off to one side I saw people I definitely wanted to sit next to. Estella and Lucy Perez sat with an infant seat between them, and I came and got the empty chair next to Lucy. "I'm so glad that you're here," I told her, watching her smile shyly.

"Me, too. I wanted to come back for Christmas. This is the right place to be."

Estella gave a wry smile. "We're up every couple of hours anyway, so we figured the late service fit in real well. I hope it's okay that we came here."

"Of course. Everybody's welcome here. Lucy could tell you that." I looked over into the infant carrier where the baby snoozed peacefully in a tiny bright pink stretchy suit. She had plenty of dark hair like her mother and aunt, and a few days' time had given her a chance to look much less red and scrunched up. "What have you named her?"

"Carmen for her grandmother, but we've been calling her something else," Estella said.

Lucy reached out one finger and stroked her daughter's velvet cheek. "Milagrita," she said softly.

I know just enough Spanish by now to know that Carmen's other name meant "little miracle." It felt so appropriate in this season of miracles and birth we'd all been waiting for.

The last month had started with death and horror for all of us. We'd come so far in four weeks, and now the month was ending in miracles large and small in the warmth of candle glow and music. Even though all my sisters in Christ weren't here with me I felt surrounded by their love. It was the feeling that kept me coming back here.

"That's wonderful," I told Lucy. Little miracle. It summed up perfectly that grace-full place we all came to on this Christmas Eve. As the service started I watched the sleeping infant, knowing she'd already lived up to her name.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS.

What does it mean to be "shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves" as in Matthew 10:16, the scripture verse in the front of this book? Why would you want to be "shrewd as snakes?"

Gracie Lee's son, Ben, is suspected of murder. Have you ever had someone that close to you suspected of a crime you know that person didn't commit? How did you handle the situation?

Frank left a lot of secrets and problems for his family to discover after his death. What would you want people to discover about you only after you die?

Dot says she second-guesses herself a lot about whether she made the right decisions for Candace about health care in several parts of her early life. Have you ever had to make a life-or-death decision for someone else? What was it like to do that?

What would you say is the theme of this book? Why?

When did you first suspect who the murderer was in this book? Were you surprised?

Several of the characters in this book are developmentally disabled or face other challenges in their lives. How do Gracie Lee and Detective Fernandez treat these characters?

One of Frank's biggest problems in life is failing to take responsibility for his actions. If you were faced with a person like Frank, what would you tell that person about what G.o.d says in regard to personal responsibility?

Gracie Lee, Dot and Estella all struggle with how much independence they should give to those they love. Have you ever had this problem? Is there a "right" way to handle it?

Gracie Lee won't get serious about Ray Fernandez because he doesn't have much of a faith life or a visible relationship with Jesus. Do you think she's right in her decision? What could she do to encourage Ray to grow in faith?

STEEPLE HILL BOOKS.

ISBN: 978-1-4268-1576-8.

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