Lazy Dungeon Master - Chapter 297
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Chapter 297

Secret Plan

It was around the time we had finished eating and entered [Flame Cavern].

Well, also we did take a break to eat, wed already long since entered [Flame Cavern]s domain, similar to how it is with our village.

Come to think of it, flame dragons are said to be the offspring of fire spirits and red dragons coming together, did you know that? There was mention of it in some of the literature in the imperial capitals library.

Heeeh, really? So thats why theyre so specialized in the fire attribute. You could say a red dragon with a fire spirits blessing is an unbeatable existence when it comes to fire, huh. Did you know that, Kehma?

Ive heard about it from an acquaintance before.

I was walking along with Meat and Ichika ahead of me. Gozoh and Roppu were following up the rear as though to protect me.

Although Wataru was in the center same as me, it was so that he could respond to both attacks from the front and the rear as quickly as possible. There was basically no difference in our placement, but his role was entirely different.

Gozoh and Meat were slaying the red lizards while Ichika and Roppu focused on dissecting their bodies essentials so that our baggage wouldnt grow too large. Wataru put the goods into his [Storage].

Me? Well, I was just guiding everyone down the path Ontentoo told me about beforehand that would lead to Igni in the fifth floors mid-boss room. That is, I was playing the fiend agent. Hahaha, what a great way to share the burdens among us.

By the way, there were periodically red lizards on the path, but thered be red slimes straight away if I made a mistake on the way to go. Physical damage was ineffective against slimes, so Wataru would do some kind of bash thing on them to deal with them. Heroes are amazing, youre like some magic swordsman.

Eh, youll teach me too? Isnt that great, Meat~. Its a great chance, so learn it.

Phew, that was the third red slime.

Sorry, lets head a little ways back.

Eh, again?

Red slimes arent supposed to appear on the route I investigated. Thats how I memorized the route.

We headed back a bit. Was it a left turn a bit ago and not a right one?

Just then, Gozoh spoke up.

By the way, this supposed plan of yours, Kehma could you tell us about it here soon? What is it exactly?

Hmm, yeah

Please, were about to put our lives on the line for a plan we dont know anything about.

It kind of feels like were bettin huh.

Heh, I dont care what the plan is, I believe in Kehma.

Oh? Thats unexpected, so I guess this figurehead village chief status comes with some faith?

Its alright. My plan isthis.

Isnt that the red pepper paste you were saying youd make Ichika eat? What goods that?

I heard from a certain source that flame dragons love alcohol and spicy things.

As an aside, that certain source was the person herselfIgni, so its definitely accurate.

I asked Ontentoo about it since she looked like a young girl when she humanized, but it looks like theres no problem with it since shes a dragon.

I have plenty of alcohol I procured from the dungeon in my [Storage], as well as some things I had Kinue-san make especially for this. To put it simply, Im going to lure it with its favorites.

I see I like drinking alcohol too. Give me some.

Ill get you some of the same stuff when we head back. Were working right now, so hold out.

Hyuu! We definitely cant mess up then. Right Roppu, Wataru?

Theres no more of a proper way for Team Bacchus to defeat a dragon than with alcohol. Lets do it, Village Chief Kehma.

Its the Eight-Headed Serpent! I got it!

Lets ignore Watarus reference to that Japanese mythEight-Headed Serpent.

With that, I had their consent and moved inside. Wed arrived at the mid-boss room of the fifth floor, our destination.

Oh, its here.

Its eating a red minotaur was that the original boss here?

When we looked into the room, Igni was eating the red minotaur in her dragon form.

Id wondered if it was alright for her to eat a mid-boss, but apparently all of the upper floors stuff are Ignis favorite snacks. How much are they spending on their daughters food? Talk about ignoring Engels law1.

Alright, Ill be off then. If I fail, Wataru, Ill entrust the rest to you.

Leave it to me. Ill take your bones. You can be revived if theres even a scrap of bone left!

Eh, this world has revival magic?

Oh, revival magic has a one in four success rate and costs ten thousand gold regardless of it working or not, but you can leave it to me to do it until it goes through alright?

Wataru, itd be great if you could afford it.

Thats great. At the very least, its not something everyone can use.

Oh, maybe its a performance for Haku-san to gain followers? Theres a possibility of her using doppelganger50,000 DP for it. Itd just be played off as memory loss or personality change following revival or something.

In that case, I wouldnt be able to live if I died after all.

Guh I would do it if its for you, Kehma-san! Same for the travel expenses to the Holy Kingdom, too!

Moreover, its from the Light Gods Decree? Uwaaah, stinks like a scam.

Arent they just using that Saintess revival ability to show it works sometimes?

Well, either way, Im off. Conveniently, its a boss room, so just Kuro and I will head in. Ill call you guys in later if my plan works out.

Will you really be alright in there with just you two?

I mean, I dont want to show people my secrets if I can avoid it. Ill close the door behind me right, Ichikas collar will let you know if I die. If that happens, you can decide if you want to come in or run and escape.

For you to use the slave collar for something like that

A slaves collar would somehow know when the master dies.

Its not like Ill die, though.

Kehma-san, is that why you brought these two slaves?

No, its because I didnt want to tell you about any dungeon secrets.

Heeeey, Goshujin-sama, Goshujin-sama, if you die, can that dinner ban go away?

I wont die though?

Just in case!

Alright, if things turn out well, Ichikas collar will gently constrict twice and strangle her a bit.

Eh!? Gently? Gently right!?

Radio communications through slave collars!? You could call it [Slave Collar Transmission], Kehma-san!

Whats with that shallow book series-like name?

*

At any rate, Meat and I entered the boss room and closed the door behind us.

I can finally relax.

[Oh, youre here! Ive been waiting, ah, want some minotaur?]

Oi, quiet down. Theres a chance the heros listening in.

[Oh, right. Sorry, sorry, I forgot.]

Igni scratched her head. By the way, our conversation was being carried out in draconic, so Meat just tilted her head to the side An ordinary human language would just be understood by anyone listening, after all. I didnt want to take any chances with Wataru listening in though, so I figured it was alright if we just kept our voices low.

[So, whatll happen next?]

First off, the heros right outside the room. I have to pretend to do my secret plan.

With that, I took out a barrel containing the red pepper paste from my [Storage].

Here, a present.

[Alcohol and something spicy? You really did bring a present.]

By the way, you probably already know, but its the meetings second situation.

[Hey, hey, I can drink this right? Right?]

I want to make sure were on the same page first. You do remember the second one, right?

[Ummm, umm There was a lot of extra stuff, but something about leaving people behind, maybe?]

Oh, so she does remember?

By the way, the first situation was just me getting here alone. The third was where Id have to bring someone uninvolved in.

Number three would make the whole thing become a more and more complex farce depending on who it wasbut to put it simply, I wanted to avoid having to use my super bullshitting technique. Go me.

Well, with that being the case, we have it a bit easier than otherwise. You can have it if you dont take it all at least. You also need to smell like alcohol so yeah, just not enough to make you tipsy.

[Really!? Yaaay! Love you, Uncle!]

Whos your uncle? Arent you older than me?

[Youre Papas friend, so youre Uncle.]

At least call me your big brother or something.

[Thank you, Big Brother~!]

After that, Id restrain Igni wholl be pretending to be drunk and call the others in. Once theyre inside, Ill just have her tear off her restraints and run off. With that, it should look to witnesses outside that she flew off of the mountain towards somewhere else.

Its a bit painful to have to make her depart so soon after her long-awaited homecoming, but whats most important is that the farce goes well. Hahahah.

[Uwaaah, whats this!? This is the first time Ive ever drank something so delicious! Its so spicy! WHAT WHAT WHAT!? Its so spicy and tasty! Uwaaah, its even better than red minotaur!]

Hey? Dont overdo it, yeah?

[Dont worry, dont woooorry, Im good with alcohol! Phaaah! It goes well with this spicy minotaur meat! Big Brother, you want to have some too?]

No, Ill hold back.

Hmm? Wait, why am I getting a horrible feeling about this?

1. Engels law is an observation in economics stating that as income rises, the proportion of income spent on food falls, even if absolute expenditure on food rises.