Knowing Lucky was in his office, working, she decided to peek in and tell him. She practically skipped to his office, wanting to gloat that she wasn't going to have to pay a penny for the system he wanted. She was so excited she forgot to knock. Opening the door, she saw him sitting in the chair by his window and Willa stopped, looking at the tired lines of his sleeping face.

She wanted to wake him and tell him to come to bed. If she did, though, he would do what he did every night-make love to her then disappear until morning. As a result, Willa quietly left his office without waking him.

Going to her bedroom, she sat down on the side of her bed. She stared at the clock on the nightstand, seeing it was only seven in the evening.

Picking up her cell phone, she made a call she should have made two weeks ago.

"h.e.l.lo? Willa?"

"Hi, Lily. I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"No, I'm just feeding John. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering, if it's not too much trouble, could I borrow that cookbook of your mother's? I'm bored, and nighttime is my favorite time to cook."

Lily paused. "I could bring it to you."

"No! Like I said, I'm bored, and I could use the fresh air."

Again she was met with silence, although she thought she heard voices in the background.

"That's fine, Willa. I'll see you when you get here."

"Thanks, Lily. I'll be there in ten minutes."

Willa put on her tennis shoes then ran a brush through her hair and tugged it up into a ponytail. Grabbing her purse and keys, she left Lucky a quick note, placing it on the mirror of the dresser so he would see it when he entered the bedroom. He usually didn't come upstairs until nine, and she expected to be back long before that, but she didn't want him to worry if he finished his work early.

It was getting dark when she pulled into The Last Riders' parking lot. It was filled with motorcycles and several club members were standing around, shooting her curious glances as she got out of her van.

She went up the side walkway that led to Lily's house. As she pa.s.sed the clubhouse, Willa heard loud music and saw the kitchen filled with people. Before she could get to Lily's house, Lily came out the front door with the cookbook in her hand. Willa was disappointed. She had hoped to find Shade alone with Lily in their house.

"Here you go, Willa." Lily handed her the cookbook.

Willa took it. "I didn't mean to bring you out," Willa apologized.

She was about to ask if she could speak to Shade when Lily shook her head.

"I needed to escape for a moment. Beth and Diamond are playing cards. Shade had already left to get some beer for the clubhouse, or he could have dropped it off to you."

"That's okay. It's such a pretty night that I wanted to get out." Willa turned to go back down the path. "Thanks, Lily."

She left Lily, walking back toward the parking lot. Willa wanted to confide in Lily and ask her advice. However, Lucky wouldn't be happy if he found out she had discussed him with her friend. It was a good thing Shade wasn't home. There was only one person she needed to talk to, and that was her husband.

The parking lot was even fuller as she made her way to her van with her head down, only looking up when she reached her vehicle "Evening, Willa."

Shade was sitting on his bike. She could have sworn there was a black one parked there when she pulled up, not the cherry red he was sitting on. Rider was standing next to him with two twelve-packs of beer under his arms.

"Shade, Rider." She gave them a nod.

Rider gave her a wink.

"They're waiting for the beer," Shade reminded him with a frown.

"Oh, yeah. Later, Willa."

"Good night, Rider."

Shade remained sitting on the motorcycle with his blue eyes on her. She was about to get into her van when she looked at the bike he was sitting on again.

"That looks like Lucky's bike."

"It used to be. It's a club bike now until someone claims it."

Willa froze. "A club bike?"

"It's a rule-when you leave the Last Rider's, you give up the bike you joined with."

"That's not fair."

"I hate to tell you this, Willa, but biker clubs aren't known to be fair."

Willa swallowed hard. She should get back in her van and drive into town, but she didn't.

Her hand holding her keys dropped to her side. "Do you know what's bothering Lucky?"

Shade stared back at her, his expression impa.s.sive. It was the only one she saw him wear unless Lily was there. Several times, she had been brave enough to look into his eyes and seen ... nothing-no emotion, no soul-and she was terrified that, unless she found a way to reach Lucky one day, she would wake and see the same thing in his eyes.

"Yeah."

Willa licked her dry lips. "He's dying inside, isn't he?"

"He died a long time ago and doesn't want to admit it. That's his problem."

"What's wrong with him?" she whispered.

"How bad do you want to know?"

Willa blinked back tears. "Please, Shade ... help me."

"He'll hate me if I tell you ... Not that I care a rat's a.s.s, but what I tell you could just as easily destroy your marriage as save it. Are you willing to take the risk?"

"I love Lucky, Shade. Nothing you tell me is going to change that."

"We'll see." Shade stood up from the bike, motioning her up the steps to the clubhouse.

Willa went up the steep steps in front of Shade, and two bikers she didn't recognize were standing in front of the front door when she reached the top. Both looked intimidating, blocking the doorway.

"It's cool, RIP, Fang."

The two men moved out of the way.

"They're recruits from Ohio," Shade explained.

Willa didn't ever want to visit Ohio if that's where they lived. She hoped they went home soon.

Shade moved to stand in front of the door. The music was even louder than when she had arrived.

"Lucky tell you about the Friday parties?"

Willa nodded her head.

Shade opened the door, motioning for her to go inside. From what she could see, she didn't want to go in any farther, even though no one in the hallway paid her any attention. They were too busy having s.e.x.

She recognized Jewell with her legs wrapped around Train's hips as he bucked against her. Jewell was holding onto the rails of the steps with her T-shirt pulled up over her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and she wasn't wearing anything from the waist down. Train wasn't wearing a shirt, and his jeans were unzipped as his c.o.c.k thrust into Jewell.

"You coming in?" Shade asked.

Willa stared at him wildly, her face going pale at what else she could see in the room.

"No one will touch you," Shade promised, Willa didn't doubt his a.s.surance.

She stepped hesitantly inside, and Shade closed the door behind her.

"This way." Shade made a path for her through the crowded room that she imagined was what Sodom and Gomorrah would have looked like. She was afraid lightning would strike any second as she walked across the room.

She was almost at the kitchen when her eyes were caught by a couple on the couch. Winter was sitting on Viper's lap with his hand under her skirt. You couldn't see anything, but from both their expressions, you could tell what was going on between the married couple.

Willa almost fell as she rushed into the kitchen behind Shade where it went from bad to worse. Raci was on Crash's lap, bouncing up and down on his c.o.c.k. Her back was to the door, but Willa easily recognized her face because it was turned to the side, giving Rider a b.l.o.w.j.o.b. Several members were standing around in the other room in various stages of undress.

Shade opened a door on the wall of the kitchen. When she would have rushed through it, Shade caught her arm.

"Be careful."

She made herself slow down as she went down the wooden steps. Downstairs, she saw several different exercise machines and weights against one wall, and there was also a couch and chair. The room was large with a metal pole in the center. Thankfully, this part of the house was empty, and she was able to catch her breath.

"This way." Shade walked across the room, going through a door into a hallway. He went to the door at the end, opening it after a brief knock.

Willa's mouth dropped open when she went in after Shade.

Rachel was on her knees on the bed, giving Cash a b.l.o.w.j.o.b.

"Dammit, Shade," Cash snapped.

Rachel's mouth came off Cash's c.o.c.k with a pop. Then her friend frantically began pulling a cover over her, burying herself beneath it.

"I need the room."

Willa could have sworn she heard amus.e.m.e.nt in Shade's voice. She glanced away while Cash pulled on his shoes and boots, picking up his shirt from the bottom of the bed.

"I don't think Lucky would be happy to hear you say that," Cash commented.

Shade didn't respond, forcing Willa to clear up the misconception. "We're just going to talk."

Both men laughed at her expression.

"Willa, I knew that." Cash went to the bed. "Let's go, Rachel."

"No, I'm not coming out. Ever. Tell them to go talk at Lily's house."

"I need this room," Shade stressed.

"I don't care. I'm not-" A loud squeal filled the room when Cash reached under the cover to pull his wife out. Rachel didn't release the covers when Cash tossed her over his shoulder, going to the door.

"It's all yours."

"Thanks, brother, Rachel."

"You freaking bast-!" Shade slammed the door on Rachel's insult.

"She's pretty mad at you," Willa observed.

"She'll get over it."

As Shade went to a large, wooden cabinet against the wall, Willa stared around the room. The bed was huge with a black sheet. It was masculine-looking and ... s.e.xy. Willa was ashamed of the sinful feelings rising in her body, knowing her mother would be mortified she had even thought the word.

Shade opened one door of the cabinet then took a set of keys out of his pocket, unlocking the other side. Curious, Willa wandered over to look inside.

There were several drawers inside the cabinet. Some were half-drawers; others were whole; all had keyholes. One at the bottom was twice as large as the rest, and Shade slid a smaller key inside then opened the drawer, revealing leather books. There was also a gla.s.s-framed display.

"Have a seat on the couch," Shade ordered.

Willa took a seat while Shade removed the items from the drawer, setting them down next to her. Then he sat down on top of the coffee table in front of her.

Picking up the display case, she was able to see several medals and a flag.

"Lucky tell you anything about when he was in the service?"

"He told me that a friend's brother was killed, and he felt responsible."

"He wasn't responsible. I've told him that, his superiors have told him that, and this tells him he wasn't responsible"-he gestured at the case-"but he can't let himself off the hook because he made that promise to Bridge."

Shade's face twisted. "The Last Riders met when we were overseas, and we've remained friends even after we were discharged. I've thought over the years about what has kept our friendship strong, what made the difference between us to keep us from splitting up and just talking occasionally." Shade shrugged. "We work well together as a unit. We watch each other's back, and we trust each other. I came to the conclusion that each of us has a code that we live by that makes us the men we are."

"What's Lucky's?" Willa stared down at the picture frame in her hands.

"You tell me."

"Honor."