"You ought to make that man bishop," I said.

"Miss Battersby kept on a.s.suring us all the way down in the train that Lalage is a most lovable child, very gentle and tractable if taken the right way, but high spirited."

"That won't help her much, because she's no nearer now than she was ten years ago to finding out what is the right way to take Lalage. What are Miss Petti-grew's views?"

"She varies," said the Canon, "between chuckling over your position and wishing that Lalage was safely married with some babies to look after.

She says there'll be no peace in Ireland until that happens."

"That's an utterly silly scheme. There's n.o.body here to marry her except Vittie, and I'm perfectly certain his aunts wouldn't let him. He has two aunts. If that is all Miss Pettigrew has to suggest she might as well have stopped at home."

The Canon sighed.

"I'm afraid I must be going," he said, "I promised Miss Pettigrew that I'd be back in half an hour. We're going to see Lalage at once."

"Lalage will be in bed by the time you get there; if she's not organizing another torchlight procession. You'd far better stop where you are."

"I'd like to, but----"

"You can get a bed here and send over for your things. Your two ladies are in the other hotel, I suppose."

"Yes. We knew you were here and Miss Battersby seemed a little afraid of catching influenza, so we went to the other."

"That's all right. You'll be quite safe for the night if you stop here."

"I wish I could, but----"

"You'll not do any good by talking to Lalage. You know that."

"I know that of course; but----"

"It won't be at all pleasant for you when Miss Pettigrew comes out with that plan of hers for marrying Lalage to Vittie. There'll be a horrid row. From what I know of Lalage I feel sure that she'll resent the suggestion. There'll be immense scope for language in the argument which follows and they'll all feel freer to speak out if there isn't a church dignitary standing there listening."

"I know all that, but still----"

"You don't surely mean to say that you _want_ to go and wrangle with Lalage?"

"Of course not. I hate that kind of thing and always did; but----"

"Out with it, Canon. You stick at that 'but' every time."

"I promised Miss Pettigrew I'd go back."

"Is that all?"

"Not quite. The fact is--you don't know Miss Pettigrew, so you won't understand."

"You're afraid of her?" I said.

"Well, yes, I am. Besides, the Archdeacon said some stiff things to me before we started, uncommonly stiff things. Stiff isn't the word I want, but you'll probably know what I mean."

"p.r.i.c.kly," I suggested.

"Yes, p.r.i.c.kly. p.r.i.c.kly things about the responsibility of fatherhood and the authority of parents. I really must go."

"Very well. If you must, you must, of course. But don't drag me into it. Remember that I've got influenza and if Miss Pettigrew and Miss Battersby come here I'll infect them. I rely on you to nip in the bud any suggestion that I've anything to do with the affair one way or the other. I tell you plainly that I'd rather see Lalage heading a torchlight procession every day in the week than married to Vittie."

"The Archdeacon says that you are the person chiefly responsible for what he calls Lalage's compromising position."

"The Archdeacon may say what he likes. I'm not responsible. Good heavens, Canon, how can you suppose for an instant that anybody could, be responsible for Lalage?"

"I didn't suppose it. I was only quoting the Archdeacon."

"I wish to goodness the Archdeacon would mind his own business!"

"That's what he's doing," said the Canon. "If he wasn't he'd be here now. He wanted to come. If the poor old bishop had held out another week he would have come."

The Canon left me after that.

CHAPTER XVI

I fully expected a visit from Miss Pettigrew in the course of the next day. I was not disappointed. She arrived at three o'clock, bringing the Canon with her. I was greatly impressed by her appearance. She has bright eyes which twinkled, and she holds her head very straight, pushed well back on her shoulders so that a good deal of her neck is visible below her chin. I felt at once that she was the sort of woman who could do what she liked at me. I attempted my only possible line of defence.

"Aren't you afraid of influenza?" I said. "Is it wise----?

"I'm not in the least afraid," said Miss Pettigrew.

"Not for yourself, of course," I said. "But you might carry it back to Miss Battersby. I'm horribly infectious just now. Even the nurse washes herself in Condy's Fluid after being near me."

"Miss Battersby must take her chance like the rest of us. I've come to talk about Lalage."

"I told the Canon last night," I said, "that I'm not capable of dealing with Lalage. I really am not. I know because I've often tried."

"Listen to me for a minute," said Miss Pettigrew. "We've got to get Lalage out of this. I'm not given to taking conventional views of things and I'm the last woman in Ireland to want to make girls conform to the standard of what's called ladylikeness. But Lalage has gone too far. The newspapers are full of her and that's not good for any girl."

"I'm sure," I said, "that if you represent that view of the case to Lalage----"

"We have. We spent two hours with her last night and three hours this morning. We didn't produce the slightest effect."

"Hilda cried," said the Canon.

"After all," I said, "that's something. I couldn't have made Hilda cry."

"Hilda doesn't count," said Miss Pettigrew. "She's a dear girl but anybody could manage her. We didn't make Lalage cry."

"No," I said, "you couldn't, of course. In fact, I expect, Lalage made you laugh."