Chapter 70 I Regret Coming Back

It's His Majesty the Emperor, Petronilla said.

There's no need to greethim. He'sfar away.

Though Patrizia said this, Petronilla still bowed her head on the chance that not doing so would bring her little sister ill-will orgrief. Patriziawasn't happy with how her older sister was acting, but she didn't stopher. Instead,she merely observed the Emperor with a displeased expression.

Petronilla's heart hurt seeing Patrizia look likethat. Shewaited next to her sister tentatively, but Patrizia simply began to walk again. When Petronilla saw how the Emperor looked at her little sister with such an indescribable look, she felt uneasy.

Why does he look at you with such eyes? Petronilla asked.

Hm?

I mean the Emperor, Petronilla said in a shorttone. Wasn'the the one who was responsible anyway?

Yes. Such a shameless, impudent dick.

Patrizia continued to walk away, as if she hadn't spoken such crude words. She no longer had any other particular feelings towardsLucio. If anything, she was even more relaxed and comfortable than when she first entered the palace.

In other words, she no longer thought she needed to feel anything towards him after getting hurt so many times.

If Petronilla was being honest, she found it regrettable that Patrizia had to come to that conclusion, but it was also something that Petronilla had no right to interferewith. Petronillasimply followed behind hersister, notsaying a word.

However, Patrizia's comfort and relaxation didn't last long. The Queen always had many tasks to complete. For the first time in a while, Patrizia put on a genuine frown.

A birthday party.

I apologize, Mirya said.

No, that's not something that you should be sorry for.

Patrizia sighed. The Emperor's birthday was coming up, so naturally, the Queen Patrizia was expected to prepare forit. Truthbe told, Patrizia would rather shove the job off to Rosemond. However, as she and everyone else around her knew, that would have been impossible. She nodded her head in acknowledgment.

I ask that you do the majority of the planning for thisevent. I'lljust approve it at the end, so show me the final plans when you're finished.

But Your Majesty, that would be overstepping

I need to rest as well, Mirya. Besides

Patrizia gave a small smile before continuing,

If I can't even trust you, then whocanI trust in this vast palace?

You could trust me,Patrizia, anothervoice said.

Completely oblivious to the mood in the room, Raphaella inserted herself in the conversation. Patrizia started laughing.

Ahahaha, that's right. I'm sorry,Ella. DidI hurt your feelings?

Of course I'm just joking. Ah, but thereissomething that you must do yourself.

What's that?

It's nothingbig. It'sthe flowers.

Flowers?

You have to choose the flowers for the party, since it holds a lot of significance. It'd be difficult to have one of your subordinates do it.

The birthday flowers. Ah, that'sright, Patriziamurmured, having forgotten about it. In the Mavinous Empire, it was tradition for a person on their birthday to receive flowers from their parents if they were unmarried, or from their spouse if they weremarried. Thebouquet for an unmarried person would symbolize familiallove, whilethe bouquet for a married person would symbolize the eternal love that was promised on their wedding day.

If it were up to Patrizia, she would choose flowers that symbolize bad omens and curses, but unfortunately, unlikeher, flowerswere too nice and pure to taint with such corrupted intentions. Patrizia contemplated the situation.

tions she murmured.

Pardon?

Carnations. Let'sgo with that.

Oh, how unexpected.

How come?

Isn't that a flower that's normally gifted from parents to children?

Yes. Patrizia thought to herself for awhile. Red, pink, and purple

All the meanings behind the carnation were quite beautiful and awe-inspiring. 'I love you.' 'I wish for your good health.' 'Ilove you passionately.'

However, Lucio, MyEmperor. Theflowers that I personally wish to give you have the last meaning.

And add some yellow ones into it.

I despiseyou. Idespise you so much, the person who eradicated even the smallest traces of hope and sympathy in my heart and replaced them with hatred.

That is how I feel.

All of my spite and disappointment, I pour into these yellow carnations that I giveyou. You'renot an idiot, so there's no way for you not to know how I feel about you, how much I detestyou. Don'tfeel too resentful over the fact that this terrible woman had gifted you flowers of hatred on the day that you should receive all the good fortune, Lucio.

I'm sure His Majesty will know.

For the person who made me this way is you.

To think that a woman who can't even bear a child

Someone pointed a finger at Patrizia.

an infertile woman, is our Queen!

The Mavinous lineage will be severed!

She's a woman who destroyed the seed of the Empire!

People with shadowed faces continuously mockedher. Patrizialooked around her surroundings in terror.

No that's not my fault

However, she was immediately refuted.

What do you mean it's not your fault! If your older sister had become queen like she was supposed to, then the royal lineage could have continued!

You dare to block the descendants of thethrone? Areyou out of your mind?!

No no! she screamed.

It's useless no matter how many times youdeny it. Youimpudent wench would dare to rather have aconcubinegive birth to the Crown Prince?!

Considering the fact that the current Emperor wasn't even born directly from the royal couple, the arguments of these people werebaseless. Thesewere things that they should have been saying to the deposed QueenAlisa. Unfortunately,Patrizia was not in a state of mind to rationalize this.

It's not true!

Your Majesty!

Just then, someone shook Patriziaawake. Mirya, whose face was hidden in the shadows of the night, looked pale. Patrizia's cheeks felt wet with tears.

Uuu

Your Majesty, did you have another nightmare?

No, no

Patrizia shook her head. She wiped the tears away from her face, then sprang out of bed and immediately started running out of the Queen'sPalace. Shocked, Mirya called out Patrizia's name, but to noavail. She had already started running.

Damn it, damn it, damnit!Patriziamuttered under her breath as she ran and ran,barefooted. Shefelt absolutely abysmal.

Screw them, screw them, screw each one ofthem! Theroyal lineage already ended with the previous emperor andempress. Ifyou're going to blame someone, blame Alisa, notme! Shewas also infertile!

Ah!

Patrizia's foot caught a jagged stone, and she fell over with a singleshriek. Awarm sensation followed by a sharp pain spread across the lower half of herbody. Shepropped herself up on the ground with her hand, sobbing.

Aaaah

She felt miserable. Utterdespair. Wasit possible for anyone to feel such misery? Patrizia could feel the tears that she stopped earlier flowingagain. Theystreamed down her cheeks and dripped off herchin. Whenshe got up, she couldn't stop the onslaught tears as she began to cry.

Patrizia?

Just then, someone called out hername. Thoughit was a lovely name, she never felt such loathing towards her own name more than now.

Are you alright? Did you get hurt?

Lucio bent down next to Patrizia and tried to get a better look at hercondition. Theblood oozing out of her foot didn't look good.

What are you doing running around so latebarefoot? hescolded her.

I Rather than answering, Patrizia instead said somethingelse. Doyou know how much I despise you?

I detest you,Lucio. There'sno way I could forgive someone like you, someone who dared to make me feel sympathy towardsyou, eventhough you've deceived me from the start.

I regret going back intime. Ishould have just died back then. I should have died and ended my ill-fated relationship withyou.After having thought that to herself, Patrizia's field of vision turned black as she lost consciousness.

Lucio held the unconscious Patrizia in his arms.

Queen? Queen!

Damn it.

It was too late. She had already passedout. Hecalled out into the open air, and a few soldiers clad in silver armor appeared in front of him moments later.

Call the doctor and take the Queen to her palace, he urgently told them.

But just as he gave those orders, he took them back and gave them a different one.

No, I'll take her to the Central Palace myself.

In actuality, she didn't regret having lived thislife. Thislife was like a gift to her. It was a second chance at life, a chance to turn back the tragic end shefaced. Anopportunity like this was not common.

During this lifetime, she was able to be with her precious family, her sister didn't get her head taken off on the guillotine, and if she was careful, her family could remain prosperous for a longtime. Thoughshe may have to sacrifice her own happiness, this outcome wasn't bad.

What's more, the person who was her brother-in-law in her previous life was now herhusband. Shehad come to know about his past traumatic experiences, and she was able to learn how he had come to love the woman who played a part in her older sister'sdeath. Shefelt sympathy for that man, and she even pitied his lover a littlebit. Atthe time, she didn't realize how foolish she was to think that way.

The moment that small amount of pity disappeared was when she realized that even before she had entered the palace as Queen, those two people had already been toying withher. ThoughPatrizia revealed her genuine feeling to that man, all she received back was deceit and betrayal.

And from that, she was deeplyhurt. Itwas impossible notto. There was no one who wouldn't feel such great shock after having their heart, which was cautiously revealed, broken in such a way.

From the start, they played her like afiddle. Ifthose two hadn't done what they did, then the queen would have been another person, and Patrizia could have been happy with another man as herhusband. Andif it was true that she was infertile, then she could have lived the remainder of her life happily with her family.

However, after she became queen, she had nothingleft. Shewould forever be ridiculed and scorned for being unable to bear achild. Shemight even go down the same path as the deposed Queen Alisa.

It wasn't far-fetched to think that, as Alisa also began as a young, innocentwoman. Thepalace was a place that was excellent at transforming those kinds of people into evil, corrupt beings. Patrizia vowed to cut herself down if such a thing ended up happening to her.

And now, she was completely devastated, just as she was when she watched her sister die, just as when she herself died.

In the end, nothing haschanged. Shewas still trapped in the never-ending agony and misery.

That's why I should have just died back then, should have just ended everything right then and there. I can only feel bitter towards the god who gave me this second chance. This isn't a present but a punishment.

Patrizia thought these things in her grief.