I was waiting in the courtyard, growing anxious and impatient, wondering if I should go saddle him myself, when they arrived.

It was a fine day, bright and clear and temperate. I saw Sidonie before she saw me. She'd forgone the chariot to ride astride, her skirts draped over her mount's crupper. The sun was bright on her honey-gold hair, looped in a soft coronet. Her face was calm and composed, half-turned toward Amarante, who was riding beside her. The exposed line of her white throat was lovely. And oh, Elua! Nothing had changed.

My mouth went dry.

My heart turned into a lead weight.

I didn't say a word, but Sidonie turned her head as though I'd called to her. If she was surprised to see me, it didn't show. Her expression didn't change. Still, somewhat in it deepened, somewhat only I could see. I bowed and stepped forward to hold her stirrup. Her guards clattered into the courtyard around her, led by Maslin.

"Imriel." Sidonie dismounted, allowing me to assist her. "Thank you."

"Welcome home, your highness," I said softly. She was wearing the earrings I'd given her. "I hope your pilgrimage was a good one."

"Yes." She smiled a little, sadly. "Yes, it was."

Her hands were still resting in mine. I could have stood there forever, holding them; I could have listened to her say my name a thousand times. I rubbed the inside of her left wrist with my thumb, feeling the warm, steady beat of her pulse quicken. "There's news," I said with a lightness I didn't feel. "Eamonn's come back."

"Oh?" Her black eyes searched mine. "I'm glad to hear it."

"I'll be ..." I swallowed. "I'll be leaving with him in three days' time."

Sidonie drew a slow, deep breath, gathering strength. Her fingers squeezed mine. "Well, then. I'm glad I returned in time to bid you farewell."

"So am I," I said hoarsely.

At that moment, the tardy ostler leading the Bastard into the courtyard gave a shout of alarm as the spotted hellion chose to spook at the unexpected sight of so many riders, jerking against the reins and plunging about. Maslin's mounted guards milled and cursed. I dropped Sidonie's hands and ran over to grab the reins. The Bastard gave me a walleyed look, but I glared back at him, and he subsided. I swung myself astride and pointed his head toward the Palace gate.

Maslin blocked my way.

The Bastard checked as I reined him hard. Maslin had dismounted, but he showed no sign of fear. He spread his arms wide, making the Bastard shy and snort. I wrestled with the reins. "You don't fool me, princeling," Maslin said to me, his dark eyes glittering. "I just want you to know that. You don't fool me at all."

I got the Bastard under control and leaned down. "What's the matter, Maslin?" I whispered to him. "Did you not get what you hoped for?"

The muscles in his lean, handsome face worked. He closed his eyes briefly, making himself strangely vulnerable. As fair-haired as he was, his lashes were dark. I watched him struggle with pride, anger, desire, and dislike. Once, I'd wanted him for a friend. For the space of a few heartbeats, I could see what it was in him that Sidonie liked; a potent mix of caustic honesty and hot-blooded yearning.

It was unnervingly familiar.

"Go." Maslin stepped aside. "The sooner the better."

"Maslin." I hesitated. "Must we always be this way?"

Our eyes met, then he looked past me. "Yes."

I turned in the saddle. Sidonie was mounting the Palace steps, Amarante's arm around her waist. Safe harbor. I sighed. "Fine. Do your duty."

"I am always mindful of my duty," Maslin said stiffly. "Prince Imriel. Can you say the same?"

"Believe it or not," I said to him, "I'm trying."

I got over the worst of my anger on the short ride to the manor house. By the time I arrived, it had faded, leaving behind a deep and abiding sorrow. It was good to spend time alone with my Shahrizai kin, especially Mavros. I'd gotten in the habit of thinking of Eamonn as my one true friend, but I'd grown close to Mavros. I would miss him.

In a meadow beyond the manor's mews, I told him about the encounter in the courtyard. He shook his head. "Elua's Balls! Whatever possessed you to give him Lombelon, anyway? You do realize if you hadn't, he'd be spreading dung in an orchard somewhere, not plotting his way into the royal heir's bed."

"I know." I shaded my eyes, watching Mavros' peregrine falcon circle lazily in the blue sky. "I thought it was the right thing to do, that's all."

"No good deed goes unpunished," Mavros observed. "Will you see her before you leave?"

"Sidonie?" I shrugged. "I'll make no effort to. 'Tis too maddening to hope."

"Good lad." Gauging his bird had been aloft long enough without a strike, Mavros whistled shrilly through his teeth and began swinging his lure in looping circles. "Make her come to you."

"It's not like that," I said.

Overhead, the falcon abandoned its gyre and began winging toward us. Mavros whistled again. Something rustled in the long grass and wild chicory. The falcon changed course abruptly and stooped, falling like a comet. There was a thrashing in the grass and a hare's terrible squeal. "Ha!" Mavros looked smugly at me and began coiling his lure. "It's always like that."

"We'll see," I said.

There was a formal Courcel dinner that night in celebration of Sidonie's return, with Eamonn and Brigitta attending as guests. I managed to be pleasant and circumspect throughout the evening. I hadn't lied to Mavros. I did want to see her, but it was simply too agonizing to hold out hope where little or none existed. There was too little time and no opportunity I could conceive. I made myself close the door on the possibility, regretfully but firmly, wondering in only a small corner of my mind if Mavros might be proved right.

He was.

I rose early on the day before our departure. Since moving to the Palace, I'd taken to practicing the Cassiline training-drills Joscelin had taught me in the little pleasure-garden beneath my balcony, at least on those days when I rose at a decent hour. I'd neglected them in Tiberium, and it felt good to establish the habit of discipline. I moved through the circular patterns-telling the hours, the Cassiline Brothers called it-slowly, then swiftly, then slowly again. My plain, well-wrought sword glinted in the grey light, marking each quadrant of defense. The dewy grass squelched under my boots, and I concentrated on placing my feet with care.

When I finished, I realized I was being watched.

The garden lay within the Palace walls and there was no guard posted at the little trellised egress that led onto it. Amarante was standing there in the shadow of the doorway, a shawl over her shoulders to ward off the dawn's chill. I sheathed my sword and crossed to her.

"Can you be at Naamah's Temple at noon?" she asked. "Alone and unseen?"

My throat went tight. "Yes."

Amarante nodded. "Please be careful."

"I will be," I promised.

For once, I was. If the risks Sidonie and I had run had been high in the past, they seemed a great deal higher now. Too many people stood to be hurt, too many plans could be thrown into chaos. I wondered, briefly, if it was worth it for the sake of a single assignation. And then I lied to Dorelei and told her I meant to make an excursion to Phedre's townhouse to retrieve a favorite shirt I'd neglected to bring with me.

I rode instead to Night's Doorstep and begged a favor of Emile. Along with the Cockerel, he also owned a livery stable, started long ago by Hyacinthe.

"Of course!" Emile waved off my coin. "No, no, consider it a wedding gift. You'll need a driver?"

"A discreet one, yes." I hesitated. "And...a shirt."

He stared at me. "A shirt?"

"Something worn," I said. "Not too fine."

"Secrets." Emile shook his head. "Well, the Tsingani will keep yours, young highness, never fear. We never forget what Phedre no Delaunay did for Hyacinthe, Anasztaisia's son." He plucked the coin from my hand. "But I'll take this for the trouble of finding you this shirt."

"My thanks," I said.

So it was that a bit before noon, I arrived at Naamah's temple in an unremarkable livery carriage driven by a close-mouthed Tsingano lad named Yanko. The same doves were roosting in the yew trees, but the garden below them was in full splendor. It seemed like a long time since I'd made my offering there, begging Naamah's forgiveness for my transgressions.

To my surprise, I was expected. The acolyte at the door led me past the altar, into the inner sanctum of the temple. There was a courtyard with another garden, this one bright and bursting with geraniums and bougainvillea.

The priest who had been an adept of Gentian House was waiting for me there. I remembered his name: Raphael Murain. His grey eyes were somber. "Prince Imriel, you are neither the first nor the last to seek the clandestine aid of Naamah's Order in this manner. I do this in honor of my vows, in recognition of the blessing you received at my hands, and in accordance with the wishes of her Ladyship in Namarre. However, I pray you understand it is a serious business. We serve Naamah, not the Crown, but no priest relishes the thought of crossing the Queen."

"I understand," I said steadily, although it gave me a little shiver.

Raphael Murain sighed. "Come with me." He escorted me to the far side of the garden and unlocked a door onto a small bedchamber with shuttered windows, prettily appointed and bedecked with flowers. Even the bed was strewn with petals. "As I said, neither the first or the last. Wait here."

I waited.

Sidonie came.

We didn't make it to the bed; we didn't make it beyond the door. The moment it closed, her arms were around my neck, my mouth on hers. Elua, the taste of her! She bit my lower lip, sucked on my tongue. I shoved her against the door, shoving her skirts up. She wrapped her legs around my hips. I clawed at her fine linen underdrawers, tearing them. Only the sound of ripping fabric made me pause.

"We should-"

"No." Sidonie's nails dug into the back of my neck. "Please."

Bracing her with one arm, I undid the straining laces of my breeches. I could feel the wet warmth of her sliding against my phallus, heard her gasp at my ear. Enough; Elua, enough! I shifted to grasp her buttocks with both hands, entering her with a thrust so hard and deep, it made the door bounce.

It was hard and fierce and so, so terribly good! The door creaked and rattled as I slammed into her, over and over, feeling her climax with a wordless cry, her thighs suddenly gripping me so tightly I could barely move. It didn't matter, I was ready. I buried myself in her and spent, the release so dizzying and intense that for a moment I couldn't see.

The sparkling darkness receded.

I held her where she was, breathing hard. "Feel better?"

"Yes." Sidonie smiled. "Carry me to the bed?"

"Can't." I shook my head. "Not with my breeches around my ankles." She laughed, low and enthralling, arms still wound around my neck. The sound made me ache. I released my grip on her buttocks, moving my hands to her waist. Her legs slipped slowly down mine until her feet touched the ground and she stood, her skirts falling into place. "Sun Princess," I murmured. "You break my heart."

"Mine, too," she whispered.

"I know." I stooped to retrieve my breeches, tying them loosely. "Come here." I swept her off her feet, scooping her into my arms and carrying her to the bed.

How long it lasted, I couldn't say. An hour, mayhap, before there was a discreet knock at the door. It wasn't enough. It was never enough. I gazed at Sidonie, naked and disheveled, bruised geranium petals stuck to her damp skin, and heaved a sigh from the depths of my heart.

"I have to go." She climbed out of bed and began pulling on her clothing. "Will you write to me?"

"Yes." I plucked a crimson petal from her collarbone. "Will you?"

"Yes." Sidonie swallowed. "And in a year ...?"

I nodded. "We'll see."

She took my right hand and held it to her cheek. Planted a kiss in my palm, then folded my fingers and kissed the gold knot of a ring; soft and lingering, her breath warm against my knuckles. There were tears in her eyes. "Think of me?"

"Always," I said.

There was another knock at the door, more insistent. Sidonie swept her hair into a coil. I helped her pin it in place, adjusted the stays of her bodice. I tugged on my breeches and kissed her one last time before she went to open the door.

And then she left.

Sunlight flooded the little bedchamber. I sat on the edge of the bed, its covers tossed and tangled, turning the gold ring on my finger. I thought about what Elua's priest had said to me about love when I was fourteen years old, spending the Longest Night maintaining Blessed Elua's vigil with Joscelin, filled with a mixture of bitterness and hope and hero-worship.

You will find it and lose it, again and again. And with each finding and each loss, you will become more than before. What you make of it is yours to choose.

He hadn't told me how much it would hurt.

I wished he had.

Chapter Seventeen.

On the morrow, we departed for Alba.It seemed like half the City turned out to see us off. Everyone loves a gala procession. Of a surety, we were that. The Cruithne guards rode bare-chested, displaying their woad warrior's markings. The D'Angeline guards were resplendent in Courcel blue uniforms. The carriage-horses and wagon-mules had been caparisoned with silver head-plumes that bobbed with every step. No one was riding in the carriages, not on such a bright, fine day. Eamonn was grinning, the sunlight glinting on his red-gold hair, Brigitta beside him. Phedre and Joscelin were there, the Queen's Champion and the realm's most famous courtesan.

And me; a Prince of the Blood, now a Prince of Alba. Riding alongside my wife. Somewhere in the multitude of trunks stowed aboard the wagons there was a truly disreputable shirt in gaudy Tsingano colors and a small leather volume of love letters.

I felt numb.

At the head of our procession rode the royal family, doing us the honor of escorting us to the gate of the City. Ysandre was merry, Drustan pleased. Alais wore a downcast expression. I couldn't bear to look at Sidonie. All I knew was that she sat very straight in the saddle, upright and unwavering.

We filed through the gate. Ysandre made a pretty speech about the Dalriada, and Drustan added a few words. The crowd cheered. A throng of well-wishers flooded through to bid us farewell, including most of Montreve's household. Eugenie and Clory embraced me and wept. Hugues gave me his wooden flute as a keepsake, insisting over my protests. Ti-Philippe listened, nodding, to last-minute instructions from Phedre. Joscelin watched with amusement, his strong hands resting idle on the pommel of his saddle.

And then it was over.

Heralds atop the walls blew a fanfare on long trumpets. The Cruithne commander Urist raised a battle-horn to his lips and blew a long note in reply. The crowd cheered again. The Bastard pranced under me, reckoning the attention was all for him. Dorelei's eyes were bright, her gaze fixed on the western horizon. The Queen raised one hand in salute.

Urist blew another long blast, and our company began to move.

We were bound for Alba.

I clenched my right hand into a fist, feeling the ring's bite. Knowing Sidonie was somewhere behind me, watching. If she could be strong, I could, too. I squared my shoulders as I rode away from her, feeling her dwindling presence tug at me like a sea-anchor. I wanted to turn the Bastard and ride back, I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her in front of the Queen, the Cruarch, and the watching City, and let the consequences be damned.

But I didn't.

The first day was the hardest, and all the harder because everyone around me was glad-hearted. 'Tis a lonely business, being miserable when happiness abounds. I did my best to hide it, although the people who knew me well, knew. To my surprise, one of them was Dorelei.

She was the only one who spoke of it. We'd made the village of Hercule in L'Agnace by nightfall. Accommodations had been arranged for the peers among us at a local inn, along with a handful of soldiers. The rest made camp in a field on the outskirts of the village. Dorelei and I shared a private room, as did Phedre and Joscelin, Eamonn and Brigitta.

Our room had a battered bronze mirror. Dorelei sat on a low stool before it, brushing her long black hair, watching me in the mirror. I sat cross-legged on the bed atop the thin counterpane, toying with Hugues' flute.