I meant it to come out light, but it sounded tart like I was sucking a lemon moon. Now I was here standing on his doorstep, it was real. Everything around me showed up unnaturally sharp. In the halls, when they get the limelight going, anyone watching from the slips sees the truth of it all cracked white faces, sweat trickling between shoulder blades, shiny dolly pins keeping the hair pieces up top, holes in the costumes where moths have had a bellyful. Out front you dont see any of that, just the general glow, but from the side the lights are cruel taking your eyes direct to the smallest fault.

It was like that now. I could see the knots beneath the green paint in the wooden door and every scratch and blemish on the polished knocker a womans head with a garland hanging from her ears. There was a dent in the tip of her brass nose.

Lucca held my arm. 'No, they are words of hope, listen: "Do not be afraid; our fate cannot be taken from us; it is a gift."

I was about to ask what that meant when the skinny gent barked something over his shoulder. Lucca let go and followed me into a broad candlelit hallway.

The first thing that hit me was the smell. Despite the season, scores of drooping fat-headed roses, mostly dirty pink, sat in gaudy vases arranged on bow-fronted chests lined up in pairs along the hallway. Each vase was positioned in front of a mirror reflecting endless avenues of unravelling blooms. It should have been beautiful, but it was overwhelming. I felt my heart starting up under my bodice as I breathed in the sticky sweetness. The mirrors should have made the space seem bigger, but clouded with billows of flesh-coloured petals the effect was quite the opposite.

Once, when I was no more than five or six, me and Joey had paid a penny each to a showman whod set up a spiegeltent in the yard of The Mermaid, off Cock Hill. It was a poor affair you could still see daylight through the holes in the roof but I remember most clearly that I didnt like what the mirrors did to you, stretching out your limbs so that one minute your head was wavering up near the ceiling, your neck pulled out from your body like a sea captains telescope, and the next youd be squat and ugly as a goblin from one of Nanny Pecks stories.

The worst thing was Joey. When I looked up at my brother in the mirrors it wasnt him any more. There was someone else looking back at me, someone with mole eyes, a gaping mouth as wide as the glass and hands the size of hams. Id started to cry and Joey had to bundle me out of there before wed done the round. And we didnt get our pennies back.

Something of that feeling came back to me now.

The old man motioned for us to wait just inside the doorway and he went to a room on the right. As he opened the door, the sound of music wed heard from outside someone playing a piano came more clearly. I could hear voices too, male and female. There was a regular little soiree going on behind the door. As we stood there, the rich scent of good tobacco wafted into the hallway, winding itself into the heavy rose.

A minute later the Monseigneur I found out later that was what the scented skinny old gent was called stepped out and led me and Lucca up a set of marble stairs. On the way we passed a woman coming down. She was dressed in a close-fitted red velvet evening dress, with a train caught up in a loop at the side. She hid half her face with a feathered fan, but even I could tell she was hiding a chin like a butchers mallet.

'Attendez ici. The old boy pattered along the first landing, pushed open a door and ushered us into the room beyond. He nodded to Lucca and disappeared, leaving us staring at each other. A log that smelt of sweet apple wood spat in the hearth, a single gas lamp glowed on a cloth-covered side table and candles burned in a couple of wall sconces.

Lucca took my hand.

'Fannella, I think you should know . . . this house . . .

I squeezed his fingers. 'I reckon I know what youre about to say. Tell truth, I think I run a couple of these establishments back home. Telfermans a bit chary on details, but theres a place up Stepney way that does good business, according to the books. Its called The Cloister. I paused as a thought struck. 'Carmelites theyre nuns too, arent they? And I reckon Im the mother superior?

Lucca shook his head and twisted the brim of his hat. His face was solemn. He had that look of an owl well, half of one that comes on him when hes worried. 'Its been a long time. He will be surprised. He doesnt expect you. He glanced around at the room. 'And this . . . He will be . . .

'He will be my brother, Lucca. Nothing changes that. Even as I said it I found myself wondering. I was good at closing doors in my head, making sure that things I didnt want to dwell on stayed locked away. Like I said, ever since Id learned the truth about Joey I hadnt liked to take it out and turn it in the light. There were things in his past I didnt want to give a picture to in my head, not because I was ashamed of him, but because it felt like trespassing like rummaging around somewhere I had no right to be.

I busied myself with the buttons on my travel coat and then I fiddled about with the pins securing my hat. It seemed to be caught so I left it.

The room was done up finer than any Id seen before. It put me in mind of Fitzys dainty office at The Gaudy, only the person who lived here had better taste and more money.

I went to the sofa, sat down perched is more like it and patted the seat next to me. It was a low couch affair with rolled gilt ends and so many embroidered bolsters I couldnt get a purchase. There were paintings on the walls some I didnt care to look at too closely a barrowload of scented flowers, lilies this time, arranged in porcelain basins set around the corners and patterned rugs of the Oriental type layered over each other so it was like walking on a mattress.

I peeled off my gloves. 'Hell be here in a moment and Ive no doubt that when he comes hell know whos waiting for him. Dapper Dennis couldnt wait to be off with the news, could he? As I rolled the gloves in my lap I noticed that my hands were trembling.

At first we tried to carry on talking while we waited like this was some everyday social call. Lucca did most of the chat looking back I think he was trying to distract me. He told me how the smell of lilies always reminded him of his village back home. At Easter, he said, the men took turns to carry a life-sized statue of the Virgin Mary out from the church and around to the three springs on the outskirts that supplied all their water. The statue was decorated with armfuls of lilies and the women and children followed behind with more flowers which they threw over the heads of the men and in front of the statue as it bumped along the pathways and up the hillsides. When I said it didnt sound like something wed do in Limehouse Lucca smiled sadly and agreed. He went quiet for a bit and then he started up again, talking about the wallpaper. Chinese hand-painted, he reckoned.

I didnt have an opinion on where it came from, but I remarked that I didnt much like the yellow.

I didnt say anything else after that. I couldnt. My mouth was suddenly dry as a sparrows dust bath. My fingers went to the Christopher and the ring at my neck. Every time I heard the boards creak beyond the door I tightened my grip. I tried to bring Joeys face to mind. The handsome laughing brother who brought me ribbons and trinkets. The golden lad who held court at The Lamb. The boy who could winkle a smile out of Ma on the bleakest days.

But the pictures kept dissolving and breaking apart.

For two years Id thought Joey was dead. And in a way he was the brother I thought I knew was gone. I wasnt sure who was coming through that door. Truly, until that moment, I hadnt allowed myself to really think about what this meeting might bring.

There was a murmur of conversation outside and I felt my stomach fold upon itself as I recognised a voice.

'Je vais traiter plus tard, Monseigneur. The old man opened the door and bowed as someone dressed in a long dark blue dressing gown stepped into the room.

'Joey!

I leapt up, scattering cushions to the floor, and ran to him.

He didnt come to meet me. In fact, when I reached out to take him in my arms he stepped back. I felt something hard forming in my throat. I had to keep swallowing to keep myself breathing.

'Its me Kitty. Dont you recognise me?

My brother didnt answer, he just stared at me and then he looked across at Lucca, who was standing now, turning the brim of his hat around and around. Lucca tilted his head. 'Joseph.

I wiped the back of my hand across my eyes, as the smoke from the fire was irritating, and then, confused, I held out my hand in a sort of formal greeting. It was still shaking and I tried to steady it.

'Joey?

A part of me watched myself from somewhere high above and wondered what on earth I was thinking. Jesus! The brother Id mourned until my eyelids were scalded by the salt of my tears was standing right there in front of me and I was offering him my hand like a simpering charity type. Then again, what was he thinking? When he didnt take my hand I pulled it back and hid it behind me. I felt a wetness on my cheeks as the tears I didnt expect brimmed over. I looked down quickly so he couldnt see.

'Your hand! The fingers theyre all there? I blurted the words out before I could stop myself. It was a ridiculous thing to notice at such a time, but all the same, Lady Ginger had lied to me about that too. She hadnt cut off his ring finger after all. It was there on the end of his hand.

If Joey wondered what I was on about he didnt let on. Instead he walked past me into the room and stood in front of the fire with his back to us both.

'I thought I made it clear to you. His voice was crisp.

'That you were dead? Oh yes that was very clear. I wiped the tears off my face and went to stand close behind him, so close I could smell the floral cologne on his skin. I was beginning to feel the flarings of something different now.

'I wasnt talking to you. Joey didnt turn to look at me. 'I was talking to Mr Fratelli, who should not have brought you here. That came out much more cultured than anything hed said in Limehouse. My brother spoke like a toff.

I glanced at Lucca, who was still fiddling with the hat like an infant with a comfort rag.

'I didnt, Joseph. I didnt even know where you were.

'Then what is this? Why are you here?

Joey span about now. In the firelight his face looked old, much older than his twenty years. Lucca shook his head. The hat dropped to his feet as he spread his hands wide. 'I should go. I should not be here now. This is not my story. Fannella you must tell him. I will send word when I have found a room.

'No! Of a sudden I had a clarity. I was standing in a room in Paris with the two people who meant more to me than anyone else in the world, only one of them, my actual brother, was acting like wed never met. I didnt understand what was going on, but one thing I knew for certain was that I didnt want Lucca to leave.

'Stay, Lucca. I havent got any secrets to hide from you. I glared at Joey and I must admit I was quite gratified when his eyes slipped away first.

I took a deep breath.

'He didnt bring me here. I got this address from Lady Ginger. I think we need to talk family business, dont you?

Joey didnt say much as I rattled on. He sat very still in a high-backed chair to the left of the fire and listened. Occasionally, he glanced at Lucca who was next to me on the sofa, leaning forward with his head bowed so that his hair covered his face. His hands were never still all the time I talked I was aware of Lucca picking at his nails and worrying at scraps of skin.

I told Joey almost everything that evening. I told him about the cage and about the girls whod gone missing from the halls. There were some things I left out the kind of things a brother wouldnt want to hear of his little sister, even when he barely seemed to know her but I tried to tell him enough to make him understand what Id done for him, right down to how I, Lucca that is, had dealt with the bastard who had corrupted those boys and murdered them the man responsible for the fire. That made Joey sit up.

'You killed him?

Lucca nodded. 'S. I did not work alone, but yes, the shot was mine.

He raised his head now and stared directly at Joey.

'It was an execution. Luccas voice was oddly flat.

Joey nodded curtly, just the once.

Now, there was a world of story in that little sentence of Luccas. Justice, I called it and God forgive me, I didnt feel guilty. I didnt delve too deeply into what Lucca called it. Whatever it was, we could sleep at night.

Of course, there was the final kick to my story, the one that had brought me to him. When I told him about Lady Ginger and about me and Paradise, his face went stiff like a mask. He turned away and stared into the fire. The room was completely silent except for the crackling of the logs. There was something I had to know.

'When . . . when did you find out she was our grandmother, Joey? You were working for her for a long time before you . . . went.

He didnt answer. Instead he stood and lifted an iron to poke the grate. A shower of sparks burst from the logs and leapt into the throat of the chimney. Despite the fire, the atmosphere in the room was as cold as a workhouse itch ward.

When he spoke he didnt look at me.

'It was Nanny Peck, he paused. 'Just before she died I . . . found some papers in her purse chits signed Elizabeth Redmayne. I thought it might be something to do with our father and his family, some payment to keep us quiet, and I was angry with the old girl for keeping him from us so I confronted her.

I stared at my brothers back. I thought Id known him through and through, but the person standing in front of me now was as foreign as skinny old Frenchie with the scent and the lace.

'You went through her purse! You know she would have given us anything. I didnt have you down as a thief, Joey, whatever else you- I buttoned it before I said something wrong. I looked down and plucked at a fraying loop of brocade detaching itself from the upholstery of the couch.

'You dont have to tell me that, little sister. Dont you think I knew how low it was to steal from my own grandmother? He rolled his shoulders and muttered something under his breath.

'At the time I was in a deal of trouble. I couldnt tell- He stopped and shifted a small china ornament on the marble fire surround an inch to the right.

'I didnt know what to do you dont need to know the details, but please believe that I meant to pay her back. Then, when I found the notes in her purse I thought I could use them. I was harsh. I made her cry and I bitterly regret that because she was kind and good the closest thing well ever have to a grandmother. When I forced her she told me about The Lady and our . . . connection and so I went to The Palace to see her. Thats when it all began. He turned round and smiled it was the first time Id seen him do that since wed arrived only it was a sour look.

'I thought she liked me. Everyone did back then.

He rested the iron on one of the fire dogs and crossed to the table beneath the uncurtained window overlooking the courtyard. Moonlight caught his cropped fair hair, turning it silver for a moment. He reached for the neck of a bottle standing in a bucket of ice and poured out three glasses of something that frothed and spilled over the rim.

'Have you tried champagne, Kitty? He offered me a brimming glass. 'I know Lucca has, but what about you? After all, you can afford it now.

The edge in his voice cut me.

I reached to take the champagne and tried to brush the skin of his fingers to reassure myself that he was real. Thered been no physical contact between us so far, no brotherly embrace for the little sister hed allowed to believe him dead.

Back in London when I made my plans about coming over to Paris Id run through several little scenes in my head and all of them had ended up with him folding me in his arms and swinging me round and round so that my skirts and my hair tangled about us. And then, when we were both so dizzy that we couldnt stand up any more, we collapsed in a heap and sprawled on the floor laughing at the ceiling.

That was what used to happen anyway. But we were both kids then, not the strangers who stared at each other now. I looked up at him.

In two years Joeys face had become leaner, the angles more defined. His eyebrows were darkened and shaped he plucked them into submission I guessed, like Mrs Conway so that they framed his long heavy-lidded eyes. It was the look in those blue eyes that had changed most. Once they had a sparkle that could charm a profanity from a Methodist, but now they were hard.

And there was something else there too, something elusive and contained, like he was hiding someone else deep inside and was frightened they might show their face. I thought I knew who that was. Tell truth, I was glad about the dressing gown.

As I brushed his fingers I felt the fine hairs stand up on the back of my hand and at the nape of my neck. Of an instant I knew hed felt it too. He was looking at me now as if he was taking me in for the first time. His eyes darkened as the pupils bloomed. He reminded me of her in that moment, just a flash of the old cow brilliant black beads in a gaunt pale face. I think it was only then that I really knew it was true.

I took a deep breath. 'I can afford a lot of things now, Joseph Peck, but if you want to know the truth, Id have given everything to find you again. Lady Ginger our grandmother knew it and thats why she used me and nearly got me killed. Youre the reason Ive got Paradise.

Something flickered across his face. I couldnt tell if it was anger or pain or something in between. He closed his eyes and a muscle worked in his jaw. I stroked his wrist and spoke softly. 'Look at us both. What would Ma think of us circling each other like a couple of strays? Ill happily take a glass with you, Joey. This should be a celebration, not a wake. Were both alive, arent we?

He blinked and the tears spilled onto his cheeks, leaving a glittering trail over his sharp high cheekbones.

'Kitty. My name sounded like it was caught halfway down his throat.

The glass dropped to the floor and the contents fizzled into a rug. He knelt in front of me, clasping my shoulders in his hands. He rested his forehead on mine, looked into my eyes and smiled at me, properly, his handsome face falling easily into the lines and dimples I recognised.

'Forgive me. Please forgive me. I thought it was better, safer, if you believed I was dead. Then when you came here today . . . it was a shock. I . . . I was angry and I was afraid that you . . . He broke off and closed his eyes. 'There are things about me that I didnt want you to know, little sister . . . I am sorry, so sorry . . .

The door clicked softly as Lucca left the room. I took my brothers face between my hands and smiled. I could feel the tears streaming down my own face again.

'It doesnt matter, Joey, nothing matters. Were both safe now.

He kissed my forehead and I felt him rock in my arms. At first I thought he was weeping, but then I realised he was laughing.

Chapter Five.

For a long time Id buried my brother. Then, when The Lady told me he was alive I didnt allow myself to believe it not entirely. And now, even though he was sitting at my feet leaning back against the couch and smiling up at me I couldnt quite believe he was real. I had to keep touching his head, stroking his cropped hair, to reassure myself he was there.

Once he melted back into the brother I knew, we talked until the sky outside that elegant room in rue des Carmelites was swimming with shoals of salmon. Mostly we talked about Ma and Nanny Peck the good days when we was small. It was like we were finding our way to each other again. I told him I felt like that girl who followed a trail of crumbs to track her brother through the forest. He laughed and said there was a witch in that story too, and then he asked me about Mrs Conway and Fitzy.

See, Joey was nimble that night. We didnt talk much about Lady Ginger he kept veering off the subject, taking the conversation back to Nanny Pecks stories or the characters at the halls. There was so much I meant to ask him about Ma, about Nanny Peck, about our father about our grandfather too, for that matter but he always wound the conversation back to something designed to make me do the telling.

Looking back, I reckon I learned more from what he didnt say than what he did. I tried to broach the subject of his living in Paris more exactly the way of it, if you follow me and I tried to make it very clear that it didnt trouble me a sparrows fart how he chose to spend his days or his nights. But he didnt open out.

When it was fully light outside he called the Monseigneur back into the room and the two of them had a conversation in pattering French. The old gent skiddled off into the hallway and ten minutes later I heard a hand-bell ringing from the hall below.

'Your carriage has arrived. Joey held out a hand to raise me from the couch. 'It will take you, both of you, to Le Meurice its a hotel, one of the best in Paris. Im sure Lucca will approve.

'Cant we stay here with you? Confused, I took his hand and stood up. I realised I was almost looking him straight in the eye. Id grown three or four inches since I last saw my brother.

He didnt answer. Instead he smiled, wrapped his arms around me and hugged me so tight against him I could taste the flowers on his skin. Joey stroked my hair and I felt his heart beating beneath the blue robe.

'I will call on you later today and I will show you Paris. You dont know how much Ive missed you, little sister.